lost Trill
by Robert Patton
Summary: A man of War serving on a post of peace. What will he do when he discoveres the family secret kept from him, all his life. Will he use his gifts to build or destroy.


"_**The Lost Trill"**_

_**A novel by**_

_**Robert D. Patton**_

"_**From The Journals of Jarrod Connor"**_

"_**Disclaimer"**_

_**This novel, "The Lost Trill" in no way is meant to violate any "Copyright" of Paramount or CBS Studios. Infringement is not intended.**_

_**Signed**__** Robert D. Patton**__**, Author**_

_** I must caution you.**_

_**This is a mature story for mature minds. The detail is more in depth. The subject matter very frank but presented in a very clean way and is**_

_**Non-pornographic.**_

_**(18+ is advised)**_

**The Lost Trill Chap One / Segment One **

**(The Academy)**

Have you ever felt so alone, so unwanted that if you disappeared, nobody would notice. Or If you died nobody would care to come say good bye as they put your remains in the ground. This story is about such a person. Born different and nobody ever explained why. Bullied, abused, deceived and slandered so much he even started to doubt himself.  
Many people are born into such families. Relegated to the back rows of pictures or taught how to work the camera so the family picture wouldn't have him in it. Starved for love and affection. Denied the normal trials, experience and errors of adolescence. Beaten and spat upon by others till they had a use for them. And then use them for their own personal gain, even if it got them into trouble. Some call them misfits of society.  
A lost culture of people whose only fault was being born different.  
It was Febuary 3rd, in the year 2265. The educational system even with all its advances still had a social sub culture of survival of the fittest. A young man noticed a change in some of his alien friends at the Academy. Their families came to earth to live and assist with the newly formed, United Federation of Planets. His name was Jarod and it was his birthday. He was different and was brutally bullied. The Head Master at the educational facility cared little about squabbles among the students as long as they kept their grades up. Himself, a believer in corporal punishment. He subscribed to the theory of survival of the fittest to toughen up those who struggled to maintain the status quot.  
It was Jarod's birthday and even that sick bastard remembered. It gets exhausting having to constantly guard yourself from being sucker punched or slammed into a locker as others passed you by treating you as if you don't exist, or just in the way. The early days at the academy were a litany of being shoved around and being laughed at for not understanding it's wrong to talk to anybody other than your own clustered group of misfits. Despite my record of disciplinary corrections I had managed to barely keep up my grades, and, was set to graduate with my class.  
Today was my birthday. Jinko was my friend. He knew right away it was ok to talk to me and even though it made him a social target he took up for me and I for him. Human children can at times be more cruel and vicious than Klingon's. He walked by me and simply said, happy birthday and acted as if he was being watched. A few steps back I saw why. The administrator of the orphanage he was living in was walking with him. He had called him out of school on the pretense of being interviewed for adoption.

I knew something was wrong. People at his place had a habit of turning up dead or missing. Here lately, even the automated Lawgivers were taking a notice. I followed him from a long distance and found him and Jinko in his office. What he was doing to my friend sickened me. Between all that I had been through that nobody believed or listened too, I snapped and smashed a chair and proceeded to beat him to death with a broken leg.  
Jinko had never seen me so mad before. The crazed look in my eyes alone, made him run and hide. I didn't stop till I beat his face off of his body and covered in his blood I went to go search out and find my Jinko. The other kids ran from his room and I found him there. He had cut an artery and all I tried to do to save him didn't work. I hit the emergency call button and transported with him to a hospital. They cared little for lost people like him. They made more of a fuss that my friend was making a mess on the floor. Jinko's big black eyes looked up at me. Gurgling, he said, its better this way. Let me go.  
Two law givers had started closing in on me. All I could think about was my friend dying in my arms. I held him close and said, I promise you. The place you are going, there are no bullies there and you will be loved. I will witness your passing for you. You did nothing wrong and I what you to know you are loved. He wrapped his tiny arms around my neck as I hugged him to my chest. In his last whisper all he could say was thank you and then his arm went limp and fell away from my neck.

I sat there I looked up at the automated robot. All he said was he was sorry for my loss. It was just programming. A machine imitating compassion and still it was more than he got back at the Academy. Hospital personnel rolled a gurney over with an open body bag on it wearing hasmat suits, they gently picked him up and placed him in the bag and slowly zipped it shut. That was the last time I saw my friend Jinko. He meant no harm to anybody. All he wanted was to graduate and go see the stars. Twelve years prior his parents were killed in a transporter accident. There was nobody to grieve for him. Nobody, but me. They wouldn't let me see him anymore. 

To everybody he wasn't a person anymore. Just a piece of meat zipped up in a bag, kept near frozen as evidence. I was kept in the hospital they cut my cadets uniform off of me and saved it as evidence. At the trial it was uncovered that the head of the orphanage was using his own alien children for his own personal sick twisted fantasies. Seven other bodies in varying stages of decay were found.

They also uncovered evidence of several disintegration's. In my fit of complete rage, I had committed malice murder in beating him to death. But nobody ever charged me with any crime. My mind raced with a thirst for revenge against all of mine and his tormentors at the Academy. A multitude of tortures all designed to make those bullies scream themselves to death. After the hospital and trial everybody knew or was told I was dangerous and avoided even looking at me. The matter escalated when my biggest tormentor tried his wares on me again.

What he didn't know was sitting there in that hospital waiting room holding my friend Jinko as he died all my compassion for anything human died with him. Now it was time to make him fear me. He pushed me into a locker and I grabbed him and slammed him face first into one then with all my strength I yanked him across the hall into another, then I dropped him in a pool of his own blood. He laid there completely surprised and at the top of my lungs I screamed at him making him shiver with fear. Everybody went running.

The head master came running up and I stopped him dead in his tracks screaming at him. He said nothing. The injured cadet was helped away. And I walked over to my locker and pulled out my back pack and cleaned out my locker. Four days away from graduating, I walked away from the academy. Star Fleet could kiss my ass.

**The Lost Trill (Academy) Chap One / Segment Two.**

I sat in my room in the dorm with my metal waste can, burning old books and school supplies and paper's the rest, I vaporized. The head master sent an Administrative robot to come get me. In a fit of rage I took a baseball bat and tore it to pieces and left it in my room. Walking across the wide concrete plaza, many of my class mates were back pedaling to get out of my way. 

I knocked nicely on his door and waited for him to allow entry. I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I stood back as he stood I looked from side to side. To make sure there were no more robots. The head master said I assure you we are alone. Taking the head master at his word one last time, I walked in and gently closed the door. Not looking at him, all I said was I'm sorry about the mess in the hall. He said the guilty party is cleaning it up. I looked at him with eyes filled with rage and grief.

All I wanted to do was fit in and your monsters wouldn't allow it. Not for me or for my friend Jinko. He died in my arms feeling like nobody wanted him. Cared or even loved him. That sick bastard just used him like a piece of meat.  
The head master sat down slowly. He had seen rage like this before on his own face when the Klingon's killed his best friend on the last ship he was serving on. He had two Graduation certificates with full papers made up, laying on his desk. One was in my name and one in Jinko's name. I looked at his picture. And then I looked at mine. And handed them back saying you forgot to sign them. He asked where you will go. I said, any place but here, Any planet, but here, Any galaxy, but here. I never want to be here again. Take your cadets and send them off to die in your war. The last of my care died with Jinko. He knew there was no persuading me so he signed both and rubber stamped the signatures.

I set the head of the robot droid he sent me, down on his desk, and said your droid needs some maintence. The rest is in my old room. I took mine and Jinko's papers and packed them in my bag the head master said Son, I know you are in pain. With great restraint I balled up my fist and said Sir, First, I am not your son. and my friend is dead. A father, A real Father, would have listened to all the complaints of embarrassment and bullying from his son and stepped up and done something about it. What did you do? I know what you did. YOU DID NOTHING! You thought it would toughen me and the others up, make us all good warriors for your quest to beat the Klingons, well if you don't like the monster you see, go look in the mirror and pat yourself on the back because I blame you as well as all the others for making me.

I am not your son. Jinko and others like me deserved better. So much, for your fracked up Federation Ideals.

Taking a step towards him I said, The bastards wouldn't even let me clean him so he can be cremated clean in accordance with his own people's customs. They just tossed his frozen corpse in a machine, flipped a switch and he was gone. Where was your vaunted Federation Ideals then? He was a cadet. He had good grades. All he wanted to do was see the stars. And now he's part of them forever. He wanted to say more but feeling my restraint start to slip I held up my hand, turned and gently opened the door walked out and gently closed it. That was the last I ever saw him again, or at least I hoped so.

**The Lost Trill (Academy) Chap One / Segment Three**.

I hopped a freighter and went to work. I followed orders and did all I was tasked to do. I spent the next eight years, Roaming the outer quadrant of the galaxy, hopping one freighter after another.  
Soon, I developed a reputation among the captains as a loyal hard working crew member so finding work was no problem. Finally, I had raised enough money to buy a small ship and start to fend for myself. I loaded up a shipment and didn't even know what it was. Back then you knew that to get work, not to ask too many questions. I always got a thumbprint so the cargo was their responsibility and not mine if it had illegal contraband.

Its funny how rage and wrath the likes of which could destroy whole planets, can be cooled by the touch of a woman. I had been working loads alone for two years. When ever I got the itch I always had the pleasure girls at the Federation bases they were clean and kept that way by Star Fleet Medical. Also had a few extra lonely female Feddy Girls to play was a commodity in short supply around me. Women with all their talents and abilities, could fog a man's head and leave him stripped of both clothes and Credits.

Life out here in the Borderlands can be a deadly game with most men on the losing side. You never drank anything and always had to keep your Whits about you. Allot of alien Federation women soon found they could make more money on their backsides than stuck pushing buttons and serving some leach of a Captain that always wanted more than coffee and his food, while stuck on a going nowhere job in a going nowhere ship that had more that a 50 percent chance of being destroyed by some Klingon war ship.

Andorian's are passionate and playful. Tip them well and you were treated well. Tip them badly and they would show you how good they are with those Ice knives they have. You could end up sliced like a loaf of bread and flushed out an airlock. Your ship stolen and then they would become a traveling band of freight haulers along with extra talents. Some used them on their clients to get the best loads to deliver.

Hauling is not a game for the timid. Reputations are won or lost sometimes by how well your last job went. I had my share of fun and because I always tipped well, they had their share of fun too. That all came to an end on this muddy shit hole of a planet that always seemed to be raining. On Rigel-7, I just finished off loading part of a load and took on another since it was close by.

I saw some men toying with somebody at my last stop. Knowing my history and hatred of all bully's, I couldn't stand for it so I went and checked it out. It was a Vulcan woman barely out of her teens all covered in mud. I stunned them all grabbed the woman and left before they could wake. She was shaking with fear and kept trying to touch the side of my head.

I set course and locked the auto pilot then I took her to my quarters and washed the mud off her face. She was beautiful. Her eyes were so full of fright. As the shower's water warmed her body I simply held her till her shivering finally stopped. She recognized a few of my words and said Help me….. Please.. She placed her trembling fingers on the side of my head. And her mind spoke to mine. She was dying. Her people were Vulcan's and she was in a physical state she called Pon Far. I spoke to her mind to mind and said, I don't know if I can help, but I will try. Use me for what you need.

What happened next was far different than I had ever known. My mind was a mix of blinding flashes of memories of pain and torture. She was kept as a slave on a ship and broke free. They knew she was in need and would have to give in to their desires sooner or later. She fought them off but was getting weaker when I came. Her Pon Far had exploded inside her mind, and what happened as we joined both in mind and body really shocked me. I had had my share of fun with the pleasure girls on the supply bases, from time to time but this was way beyond anything I had ever known. I awoke to a buzzing sound and had to run and make a course correction.  
She slowly followed behind me as I reset the auto pilot. Wordlessly, she was rubbing my shoulders and back. She was incredibly agile and strong. Her slender body was a total delight to look at and watch as she walked around. Standing there she said I learned your language from your mind. You helped me. Now, I help you. She took me by the hand back to our quarters and we made love with a new passion. Her touch was velvety soft and warm. We linked minds again and she said you know much pain. It's time to know joy. We spent most the voyage getting to know each other. My mind was feeling better. What she was doing for the rest of me brought me a joy I had never known.

We went from job to job together. We were mated and nothing else mattered anymore. Some nights I would cry in my sleep and she would comfort me. She read my mind and saw what happened. We had become inseparable. Her eyes sparkled when she looked at me. Then one day as we were eating. She said, I know you still cry inside. Cry for your friend, Jinko. On my world this is a great honor to be remembered and loved so much. You helped him to pass. It meant everything to him and his kind. Jarod you don't just say you love you show you love. That makes you different from all the others. You starve for what you give. Her eyes sparkled with joy. She kissed me and whispered let me give you my love. I was tired and my restraint was gone. Tired and hungry for what she had and what I had on the table.

As the fog began to clear in my mind two hours had passed. The food was cold and I didn't even care. All I felt was all she felt. Strange thing though, the ability was coming from me and not her but she accepted me with open arms and now we are mated completely and for the first time, I was happy. In her mind I heard her laugh. It made my heart skip a beat. I was held and I was loved. We were together and that was all that mattered.

**The Lost Trill (Change) Chap Two / Segment One.**

Smiling, the memories of our life together were filled with wondrous things. She taught me how to meditate. How to heal more and let go of some of the painful memories my brain was scarred with. One day, maybe the people of Earth will realize that words can slice a soul as much as a knife can cut the skin. Then just maybe I might start to think of them being civilized.

I had no desires to see Earth ever again. Then, as luck would have it I had a load of ore that had to be transported there. I told the shipper to find someone else. Then he told me I was requested. I asked by whom? He said some officer, he never gave me his name but he was an admiral and tossed me two bars of latinum to pass on the message. Against my feelings I took the load and we made way for Earth. Passing Mars central control one of their automated drones locked on to me. I had no shields and only one automated lazer cannon.  
T'lin was on communications declaring an Emergency with Earth Security and ships were on their way. By the time they got there. My ship had control problems and one thruster non functional.  
We were coming in hot with only lateral control. I gave T'lin a mental kiss for luck and we held on for one bumpy ride. Most of the ore containers had broken open so I made some creative maneuvers to shift some of the ore weight from one side to the other to balance out the weight.  
We belly landed and skidded more than 400 feet of runway. Our ship took a sudden shift to starboard as the ore shifted. And we came to a sudden stop. I hit my head hard and saw stars. Trickling blood I heard T'lin inside my mind screaming out in pain. Her arm was broken and she would never show it to anybody else but she was in a lot of pain. The pursuit ships had blown up the drone but a lot of good that did us with a broken ship marooned back on the one place I never wanted to see again.  
I screamed at the rescue crew not to touch her. One did and she almost kicked him across the deck. Shaking my head I said she does not know you. Don't touch my wife.  
A Federation officer raised an eyebrow. Wife? I said I'll explain later we need to get her to medical. I helped her but when the bright sun hit my eyes she was helping me. I had a concussion and my optic nerve in my right eye was damaged. We were transported there and T'Lin was shivering with fear. She had been in a place like that before on her home world. I held out my two fingers and she held mine with hers. In our mind link I was barely able to calm her. The officer who transported with us was a Vulcan and was concerned.  
His so called logic would not let him reconcile the fact that a Vulcan female had joined with a human male. I climbed up on the gurney with her and held her in my lap as the doctors worked on her. Then they had to work on me. We joined hands in the traditional Marriage union and the Vulcan officer said you are not supposed to know that. I said, logically you are not supposed to be so emotional about it.  
Is your Pon Far close? His eyes went wide and he stepped back just as an Admiral walked up. I turned and started to spit venom. "YOU", it was my old Head Master. T'lin held me back. She knew how I felt about him and could feel my rage grow white hot. I said what's the matter Admiral. Not satisfied with your current death count and wanted to finish me off as well as the rest of my Graduating class!  
Admiral Barriman said Your Graduating class of bullies and troublemakers were killed in three ships on their way out to the Northman Colonies, on the Klingon Border. The news shook me. I back pedaled as the med techs finished. I asked all of them? Barriman relaxed his guard a little. He said Sadly, you're the last. There were four "other" like you that got into trouble and were knocked back a couple years but you're the last….and… Jarod, I have more bad news..  
I could tell by the look in his eyes he was really regretting having to tell me something so I eased up on him. He said Please Jarod lets go to my office. It's important.

He said so, my assistant tells me this is your wife. congratulations. Can she understand me?  
Further easing up on him I said she is Vulcan she is not stupid. Far from it. Looking at her holding her two fingers I said she has probably forgotten more than I will ever know. Admiral Barriman offered them both a drink and then ordered his assistant to leave the room. He said, respectfully sir That is an unwise course of action. I said for once I can agree with you Commander. My wife finds your presence disconcerting. Departure will be a show of kindness and appreciated. He bowed slightly and left T'lin was holding me watching him leave. After the door closed. Barriman sat down and relaxed some. He said no offense to your Wife Jarod but I am not comfortable around Vulcan's either but this war makes everybody do things they don't like. He leaned forward dangerously within reach.  
Jarod, during your absence, there was a very bad Mag lift train accident. They were nearing max speed of 300 MPH when it happened. Not much survived. Everything was torn apart there were no saving them. Your Mother and Grandmother were killed instantly. My gut felt like a ton was just dropped on it. I could barely breathe. T'Lin asked can I have a cold compress for my husband. The Admiral gave it to her and she tended me as my shock started to wear off.  
I said, we had argued when I left for the Academy and when I left the Academy, I didn't even say good bye. And now, they were both gone. In a small voice I asked was there a funeral and burial? Admiral Barriman said yes, her will had specific instructions. I'm sorry Jarod,  
I will of course replace your ship. We have been having problems with the drone mines. The Klingons have a cloaking device that allows them to slip past and attack. We had to adjust them so they would attack and detonate on their hull. The magnetite ore you were caring must have attracted it and caused the accidental lock on. I hardly heard him. I asked what happened about their house and property. Barriman said it's all still there for you. Everything was willed into your name. I figured it was the least I could do for you considering all the pain I caused you before.  
In a whisper I said "Thank You" He handed me a code key card and said you can transport there whenever you like. I tried to talk but it was hard. All I could get out was, Thank you for what you did. I was angry at you for a very long time. Part of me still is, but not like before. I need to get my things from my ship before you move it. T'lin helped me up and I shook his hand. He shook T'Lins hand and said Take care of him. In her quiet voice she said I will.

**The Lost Trill (Change) Chap Two / Segment Two**.

After we transported back to our ship, we started packing our things in relative Quiet. As I turned my back to her she hugged me hard from behind. Gasping with emotion, Feeling the warmth of her body pressed against mine and the warmth of the love she held inside it, I said in my mind you don't know how much I need you right now. She simply said, yes I do. I turned around and hugged her. We were saying nothing. Just holding and being held. You always think there was enough time till all the time runs out and the hollow emptiness of death sweeps over you like a sledgehammer to a house fly. There is no fighting it, and certainly, no hiding from it either. Strange how love can quickly sort out what really matters in a person's life.  
Part of what hurts so much is how quickly it can smack you in the gut so hard that you despair of life itself. If I didn't have T'lin right now I would have crawled into that machine that vaporized the body of my Jinko and pulled the switch on myself. My tormenters were all dead. My Class of hate wiped out as if it had little if any meaning at all. Right now I feel more adrift than my ship once did in space. At least here, I was happy. T'lin did that for me and I will never forget and always love her for it.  
Finally, we were all packed. It didn't amount to much. Some clothes pictures knickknacks, shipping files and papers, A book with a crushed flower in it.

The very first flower I ever gave to T'Lin. She would never show any emotion but her eyes sparkled every time she saw it. In our private link I could feel the emotions she would hide. I feel them even more now that my emotions are further in order. We made a small pile and with them beamed over to my Mothers cottage. It was all neat clean but so very quiet. Grandmother and mother disagreed many times but as Grandmother started getting older they became close. They would argue especially about me but she always knew there was a line with Mother and she never crossed it. When mothers back was up she always backed down and let her have her way.  
There was food in the fridge and the cupboards were stocked courtesy of Barriman. We did little that day. We ate and bathed each other as married people do and played in my childhood bed as married people do. I guess I could have slept in any bed in the house but it felt kind of creepy even sitting on Mothers or Grandmothers bed. I was told they had a doctor's appointment in town and could have transported there but Grandmother had a fear of the machines. So they took in the day and took the train to town. They were on their way home and never got back here again.  
Life has so many absolutes. Me and T'Lin would sit out on the porch at night and listen to the noises of the forest around the cottage, sipping on coffee. She found the photo album and took great delight in snickering at my younger more awkward pictures. Here in our solitude after a couple years of hauling freight it felt like a vacation from life. The next day we gathered some flowers and visited Mothers and Grandmothers grave. We gently place the flowers and sat there looking at their head stones. After a few moments things began to feel awkward. That's when I knew we weren't alone. Drawing my phaser I said come out. T'Lin Took up a position behind me and was at the ready with her own phaser.  
A gray haired Vulcan man walked forward. His Vulcan friend thought my attention was diverted and tried to take my phaser and immediately felt the sharp edge of a knife at his throat.

Over the years T'Lin had developed a fascination with certain Vulcan knives and when he didn't let go of my phaser I tapped his belly with my spare in my other hand and said I never travel with only one.  
He raised his eyebrow and I raised mine. The older man said enough of this and waved him off. Come here girl. Don't you recognize your father? T'Lin raised her eyebrow and said I remember one who called himself father who abandoned me to an educational facility. And one like him who thought he could have me for the having. Tell me father does he still live? Pointing to the commander he said, He still does. T'Lin asked did they reattach it. I snickered. The commander said as if it never happened and that is the way I would like to leave it. I said Logical. Then you have no doubts that if you touch me again my wife will cut off your head. He sat down and the man sat beside him. I said, I remember you Commander. Stealth is a trademark of good training but hardly logical. The old man said you surprise me. T'Lin has taught you well of our ways. Sir, as her father I will of course accord you that respect but if you come to take her away. I will not allow it. She and I are one. He said Human Marriages mean little to us.  
The old man said, Your Grandmother never told you did she? Why you always felt and acted different from all the rest. I asked, you knew her? He said I did. Some fifty odd years ago, I married her. Then I went back to my world and took a mate and had a child, I never expected the twists of fate to unite you too together. I said, but they have, And she is loved. He said your Grandmother was not of this world. She was from a place called Trill. When I found her she was with child and I took her in and cared for her. During our travels in space she gave birth to the child, your mother and wanted to, how you humans frame it, Settle down.  
We visited Earth and entertained the thought of doing so when I was recalled. She refused to leave so I released her from her marriage obligation and left. She found love with a human male and settled here. The human male cleared the land and built this house. He farmed the land and did well for many years. On my way back home my time came and a young female stepped in to meet my need. I'm sure you still remember the madness of Pon Far from your experience's by now. T'Lin said I do father. I have had two the first was when I was taken on a slave ship.  
I escaped, and my husband here found me during my second time. He stepped in and met my need. We are mated. The old man repeated we don't recognize "Human" Marriages. I said in a logical world that saying would be true and apply, however we are not on a logical world and she is not married to a "Human" she is married to a Trill as well. A Human/Trill Hybrid. If Grandmother was one then Mother was half and I am one quarter Trill. That would explain the disturbing letters I have been reading from a box Grandmother had with my name on it. Sir I am also a Federation citizen. A graduate of the Academy and she is now a Federation citizen by right of her legal federation marriage to me.  
So if you want to throw away the Earth/ Vulcan Treaty, I would leave her alone and let us at least respect one another as family. What happened to her mother? The old man said with regrets she died in childbirth. I was told she was placed at a very good facility, so I went on with my life. I paid for your care till I heard of your escape and then capture by rader's. Till only a few days ago I had thought you dead child. T'Lin said, my father would not have left me in such a place. My education was not education they tortured me. They harmed me. They did things to me. They thought me defective since my mother died birthing me. I heard their words when they thought I couldn't.  
I held out two fingers and she held them and calmed herself. I said Sir, I have shared her thoughts. Perhaps if you did you would understand. T'lin was adamant she said she would never share anything with him. I said wife how many times have you told me to confront my memories and put them away. The old man said Commander, leave us. I will return shortly. I said, Sir, You are her father. We are together. We are one family. I offer to share with you what she has shared with me and how much she have meant to me. The emotions are strong. I know you have them and use logic to bring them under control. I offer a meld so you may see. His study of me was a close one slowly he reached over and we linked. But to his surprise I could go into his mind. I saw all that he said and knew it was true. And then I pulled back the Vail of my mind and let him see all that we share. He saw all that happened and knew she had found happiness with me. He saw all that the people he had trusted had done to her. As he pulled back out his hands were trembling.  
I held them gently and whispered Father all is well and I will care for her now so you have no further need of worry. I looked at T'Lin and said I know you don't trust him. But trust me, when I say all is as he has spoken he did not know and does love you. I changed places with her and slowly Father and Daughter found each other. As he pulled back T'Lin got up and ran over and hugged her Father for the first time ever. Now she knew his time was coming and all he wanted was to see her and know she was well. He would be leaving soon to die and be buried on Vulcan. Standing there at the grave of the woman he had once loved he once again found love. He found the love of his daughter.  
Our memories are many times all we have from our lives. Like pictures hanging on the walls of our minds, and now it was time for me to take a few pictures down and say good bye to my friend Jinko. We walked him back to his shuttle and exchanged Vulcan greetings and gestures. Our thoughts said volumes more than any saw. It was their way. The Vulcan way. The perfection of privacy wrapped by the warm cover of logic. Was now shrouded by the blanket of love. He knew he would most probably die in route back to Vulcan. At least now, his passing will be smoother knowing something of him will live on in her and through her it will live in me. We walked back to the house. The thoughts we shared were now helping her as much as me.

**The Lost Trill (Change) Chap Two / Segment Three.**

At home, we found that Admiral Barrister had transported a carrying case over with a note. In the note he said, I remembered after you left I had cleaned out Jinkos dorm and saved everything in case you ever returned. I was touched. As I opened the box all the memories came flooding back. But now with my memories better ordered by T'Lin I looked through it with much less pain and saved some pictures and letters.  
I saved them in a leather zipper pouch and took his photo ID and placed it inside as well. I took everything else and put his Graduation files and papers all together. That night at Grandmothers and mother's grave I dug a small grave of my own. It looked like a grave of a pet but meant so very much more than that. My Jinko was at rest now and it was time to say goodbye. I ordered a small headstone and had it placed at the head of his grave. We packed up the house and kept some pictures and the photo album.  
In a drawer I found more letters mother had hidden. She never wanted me to know of my Trill heritage. She feared I would be shunned as her Mother was. One day, I will have to visit this world and find out for myself. The wars I fought while growing up are all but gone now. T'Lin fills my heart and mind now driving out the darkness that was put away in the dark places of my mind.  
I looked up Trill in the Federation database. Not much was known about them. The Federation had just a Treaty of Friendship with them I thought, maybe with all our freight hauling we would stop and visit there. See if I had any family.  
But right now I had to settle up with Barriman. First, I had to be paid for the shipment of ore that got delivered even though some of it spilled out on the end of the tarmac. Then was the issue of the house. I don't know if or when I would be back. We shuttered up the place and shut down the house. It was all Hydro powered so there was no gas valves to shut off. T'Lin found my old teddy bear toy and kept it.  
With things resolved with her father she was almost a changed woman. We would swim and play in the lake on the property and warm our passions at night to help us sleep. Finally the stone arrived and I went alone to say my goodbyes. Hidden in one of his letters I found one he had wrote to a relative. Reading his pictographic language was difficult so I scanned it in my translator and printed out a human translation. In it he was talking about me. He had explained that he was going to tell me.  
His people go through a change, much like puberty to humans but way more different than I ever knew. He called it the phenousrauwl, basically, his body was transforming from male to female. In a few months his transformation would be complete organs and all and he would become a she. Literally, in every way, a total female.  
He said he had a friend and felt cared about. I never knew. His people were nearly Xenophobic about their privacy, and I always respected that. Now I know why. I think the rapist knew about his change and was taking advantage of him by threatening to expose him to get his way. May that sick bastard rot in the deepest part of hell for what he did to my friend.  
I brought three sets of flowers, One for Mother. One for Grandmother and then, I stood there and read the inscription aloud. Placing his flowers, I said, these flowers are for you "My good friend Jinko, Cared about and loved, Now and forever". I resolved to myself to find the relative he was writing to and tell her of his great friendship and of his passing. I owed him that and allot more.  
I strolled slowly back home T'Lin was waiting. She asked you ok? Smiling I said, Jinko's at peace now, and I think so am I. She hugged me warmly resting her lovely head on my chest. I playfully chided her saying careful now my Vulcan Princess. You're acting more like a human than a Vulcan. Hugging me tighter she took in a deep breath. Filling her nose with my scent she closed her eyes and smiled lightly saying, "Good".  
I whispered you know this place is mine now we can stay here if you want. Looking around she said Maybe in a few more years, when we are old, we can come back here but we have places to go and freight to haul. I said then let's get to it. We called Barriman and he said he made arraignments for an older decommissioned Soyuse class vessel. It was ten times the space. Even more, when we gutted some decks. And reduced it's power consumption. We beamed over to his office and shuttled up with our luggage. She wasn't much to look at. She had seen a few battles, but she was faster and could fly at warp 5 while my old ship could barely top warp 3. Her engines were all powered up and ready for flight.  
Star Fleet Corps of Engineers checked out everything. She would still be flying were it not of the newer more modern class ships out there. Her huge phaser cannon atop the saucer section looked menacing. Barriman said we had quite a few of their old style torpedo's still in storage and loaded you up with a double load. I asked expecting trouble? He said No, just wanted you prepped for any situation and can repel any rader's that might come your way. She is decommissioned so there is no ship name. I said she does now. I intend to honor my friend.  
I knew Jinko was a non violent species and would not like all the weapons, but he wanted to be cared about and to see the stars. Now he will fly through them forever. Please register our ship as the USS Jinko. T'Lin started in on the computer and said I will have the prefix code changed in a few hours and make her ours.  
He handed me a plastic case that had all the necessary papers for ownership.  
We opened it and found the part for commissioned name registration and filled it out. He signed and pulled off a copy and said I will file this for you. He said, Star Fleet doesn't normally trade in old Star Ships but was embarrassed by the orbiting mine attack on your old ship. I said John, for what you did with my family, and Jinko's things, Thank you. Look I was very hard on you back then, I'm sorry. I would like to put it past us and try to be friends. I handed him the code key to the house. It needs to be used and I don't know if or when I will be back this way.  
Barriman gently took the key from my hand and said anytime you want. It will be there for you. We went down to the cargo hold and did a complete systems check on the Cargo Transporters. Admiral Barriman said, Stay in orbit as long as you like. I have to go back to work now. If you need anything just call me. No promises, but I will see what I can do. You already have 600 thousand credits on account from the ore shipment, so getting provisions at base supply will be no problem at all. He handed me the tablet with the Credits. I said, I need to cash some in to have some funds for other things.  
Barriman said Cash out is limited to 30 thousand credits at any one time during a thirty six hour time cycle. I said, you need to invite more planets. He smiled, and I shook his hand. Then he stepped up on the pad and beamed off. Here we were, on a new old ship getting ready to start out again on a new life.

**The Lost Trill (Baby) Chap Three / Segment One.**

Till we got used to the different ship, we took some smaller loads to the colonies around the galaxy. Exploring our ship was almost as fun as exploring each other. We had become almost like one person and it was very comforting for the both of us. Our ship had a few less kinks and quirks as my old one. Every ship, though not alive acted with it's own personality. The computer data base was updated. We had better star charts and started warping further and further away.

Finally with our confidence in the ship restored, we went back out on our own. The vessel had all kinds of room so we set about scuttling some of the interiors to make room for larger amounts of cargo.  
T'Lin and I had several long voyage space runs and we would team up with a couple of other haulers. My ship was bristling with weapons so I acted as security patrolling for their safety, as well as bringing in my own loads of supplies. Star Fleet of course took an immediate liking to my guarding some of their shipments as they passed through some of the more dangerous areas. We were challenged a few times but our weapons though old, chewed them to pieces.

What also was growing was our database of people we met along the way. Soon we started developing a list of trust-able prospects to add as crew. I ran across a Commander Picard piloting an older ship called the Star Gazer. His captain was just killed on an away mission. I didn't ask too many questions. I felt Star Fleet would be asking enough questions on their own. We exchanged brief pleasantries and updated star chart data chips. I was always willing to help and their Stellar Star topography department on ship was more modern.  
T'Lin preferred to be alone with me. We would spend days hardly wearing a thing or nothing more than an old jump suit uniform while we rerouted conduits and pluming.

We gained .05 more warp with the extra sections all powered down. Outside, the ship started looking like an old gray ghost ship with all her viewing ports darkened. The engines were running with much less stress. We would mind meld a lot and she would show me things about life as a Vulcan. I found it fascinating. The meditation she taught me was very helpful, but on many occasions, it would end up in play. After a while, I got to be able to feel her presence without our looking. Married life with a Vulcan is vastly different from everything I thought I knew of my Mother or Grandmother. Being so new to all this. I listened and learned. We crossed paths with a Vulcan ship last week. We exchanged updated star data from our travels. I kept my conversations with the captain to a minimum and let T'Lin do much of the talking.

The Vulcan Captain found this most refreshing. He was puzzled at T'Lin's devotion to me as a "Human". We sat down to a small meal with him and his first officer. I could tell his look had questions too. 

So to break the ice I said, I know you have many questions on your mind. Feel free to ask? T'Lin gave me the "Be Careful Look". The Captain Asked, why did I as a human prefer T'Lin as opposed to one of my own kind? I said, I am not completely human. I also am part Trill. I studied at their Star Fleet Academy. I found that they use too many words. Raising his eyebrow, He said explain please. I said they say much but mean little and many times something other than what they say.

He continued. You mean they are deceptive. I said Sir, I found them unpleasant. My wife has been assisting me in ordering my thoughts. He said I noticed. She speaks for you? Sir, we here in space are only beginning. Your people have been in space decades longer. Out here, other things carry the weight of more value and importance.  
The Captain asked such as? I thought for a moment. I would say the most valued would be respect for others wiser than we are. Talking less and listening more.

Retaining an attitude of being more teachable than arrogant. T'Lin taught me the meaning of wisdom is to realize even with all I know I could still be wrong and I must always keep myself open to that possibility. He exchanged a look with T'Lin. He said, you married well. Being both teacher and student is a trait we don't find in humans. I asked it was difficult but I recently learned how to read your language. Could you suggest some books for me and T'Lin to read? Sometimes our journeys are very long and human books give me a head ache.

He said I would be delighted. I have a list and will download some from our database for you. It will be some time before we travel back this way. I would be interested in your perceptions. I wish the "other" humans we come across were more like you. I agree with your perceptions of arrogance. I said my time there was not pleasant. The Commander asked why? I don't know why but I find your question uncomfortable. I will try to answer as completely as I can. Human's when young do not always do as they are told. They tend to let emotions and the physical interactions of hormones guide their actions and minds. Because I was different, there was some abuse both physical and mental. So I stay away from Earth as much as possible. The Commander said I sense the emotion of grief weighing heavy upon you. I said one who meant much to me died because of this treatment.

Also, I had some family members who died not too long ago. I would prefer not to speak of it. The Commander said I apologize. The Question was too personal? I said we you and I are young. We learn by asking. I am not offended. There many questions I have about your ship and how it is ordered. Questions I know you cannot answer now, but maybe, years later, when older, it may be easier to discuss. The Captain said good analogy. I will send the book data over to you later. I said Thank you for the meal and discussion. We went back to our ship and rested for a while.

T'Lin said it has been a few years sense you ordered those hurtful memories. They still carry great pain don't they? I said great yes but much less than before. Now though it feels more like a weight of sadness attached to them. T'Lin said Husband be careful how you share with my people. I do not always find their interest to be rooted in good faith. I said Agreed, my wife. The commanders probing of my mind was unsettling. I let him see just about everything. I have little to hide. But he had interest in you. And I think he found you're mating to me distasteful. T'Lin said many Vulcan's will. It is sufficient that I do not. Smiling, I embraced her and said a fact that brings me great joy to my heart and endless peace to my mind.

Her eyes danced with happiness. Later, he transmitted the books over. And I said, this may take some time. Thank You for your generosity. The Captain said Not at all. It is refreshing to find a human mind so open to change. Till next time. He cut communications and leaped into warp and was gone. A check of our ship status was good so we went on our way to our next stop at Star Base 12. I had a small head ache and T'Lin was not feeling well either. She would never speak of it but I got real good at reading her body language.

The medical officer, on Star base 12, came over and gave me an analgesic and scanned T'Lin. Snickering he asked have you been on some really long hauls? I said a few why? Holding T'Lin close to me, I asked is she ok? He was smiling. He said more than ok. Your wife is with child. I was thunderstruck and T'Lin was very embarrassed and hid her face from me. The doctor said she is about one week pregnant. And will need a series of enzyme shots and some prenatal vitamins. The doctor said, I will administer the first series. Here are instructions for the rest. He put everything in a small zippered pouch.

The doctor said, for Vulcan's especially ones as young as your wife, this is a very intimate and personal time. She was searching my eyes with hers. I kissed her openly and hugged her. We went back to my ship. I made her one of her favorite soups and drew her warm relaxing bath. We said little at first. She asked me, do you want the child? I said Of course, I love you T'Lin. You know this. I am very happy with you and pleased that we have created a child inside your body. I slid in back of her and gently set her in my lap. Rubbing her back and areas she showed me years ago as pressure points for relaxation. She leaned back and I wrapped her up in my arms. There in the low light and steam. T'Lin said something profound. She said "I Love You Jarod". My heart skipped a beat.

**The Lost Trill (Baby) Chap Three / Segment Two**.

I could always tell in her mind how she felt, but to hear her say the words meant more than I ever knew, both for me and for her. Laying there in the tub of warm bubbles my arms wrapped around her. I took a deep breath and as the steam floated past. I kissed the top of her head and whispered in her ear. T'lin, I love you. Instantly, the words made her relax into my mainly kept to the lower class of supplies and food stuffs for shipment. This time I saw the red tag on the weigh bill and asked what this was. The shipper said it's just two pallets of low grade deuterium for their shuttles on starbase-10. I said I am not comfortable with things that go boom. The shipper said it's all or nothing. I knew how fast word can spread when a shipper starts refusing shipments. We would be out of business real quick.

Reluctantly, we took the shipment. The run would have taken only a couple days at ward 5.5, but we were also on convoy guard duty. Because of that we were limited to warp 4. T'Lin was a genius at electronics and had our forward sensors working at peak efficiency. We needed it to. A convoy of raiders was shadowing us. I piloted the Jinko directly astern and transmitted a two word message, "GO AWAY". They didn't budge. I had built an auto loading spiral slide guide for the torpedo's and had 6 ready. While on Starbase 8, we also got a hold of some design specs for a transverse targeting and firing system. Our copy was rudimentary but very effective.  
I locked on the lead ship and fired.

The lead ship blew apart as the second passed through his overloaded shields and destroyed it. I sent another message, "GO AWAY" this time I got a response but in a language I didn't know. T'Lin looked at me with total fright in her eyes, she said "Klingons". We accelerated back to the convoy and issued orders. "Battle Alert" assume defense cluster. Klingon's dead astern. The ships astern vanished off our sensors. I fired a cluster of rounds in a star pattern. And managed to damage two more ships. The others immediately backed away thinking I could see them through their cloak We were two sectors out when a huge ship blew past us at blinding speed and began firing on the raiders forcing them away at high warp. The new ship circled around as the convoy crossed into Star base sector 10 and applauded. I said, ok fella's you all know what to do so have your loads ready in case those pirates decide to come back.

T'Lin said, we are being hailed by the Federation ship. I said Let me listen. She flipped a switch. It said, I repeat, Federation star vessel this is the Uss Lexington, Admiral Barriman commanding. Identify Yourselves. I flipped a switch and said, this is The Uss Jinko, Captian Connar speaking. Is that you John? He said, Yep, as his ship moved up beside ours. I said, it's good to see you back in space. He said I had to threaten to resign to get it. He went visual. That was some smart shooting. After you unload, meet me in my office with your sensor data logs. You caught them off their guard and I would like to know how. I snickered. What? No dinner? At least buy me a drink. Laughing he said, you got it. I signaled back see you then. After 4 hours of unloading and some payment tips from the other haulers for protecting them, later, we first went to the medical bay to get checked out. My headache returned and I got another shot and it went away.

T'Lin's belly was just beginning to show. She wore robes to hide it but then the Admiral walked in as the doctor was examining her. He was shocked. He asked you're going to be a daddy? I blushed and T'Lin covered up and hid her face in my chest. John said T'Lin, I'm sorry. I do not mean to embarrass you. Having a baby is a beautiful time in any woman's life. It should be celebrated, not hidden. A couple of female nurses came over and comforted her. She had to go with them for a sonogram. I whispered and kissed her forehead. Its ok. You can go with the ladies. They won't hurt you. 

She looked at Barriman and said it's our way. It weakens us in eyes of others. Snickering, I said, you!, Weak? My love you haven't a weak bone in your body. I should know I have examined each and every one. She hugged me warmly and smiled. John saw but said nothing. His look said it all. As she went with the nurses they took her behind privacy screens to help her get undressed and get wrapped up in a medical gown for the test. John walked over and stood beside me astonished. He said if you could see your former self now, you have changed. I said except for this stubborn head ache I feel much better than ever before. T'Lin changed me. She is my everything. He said I know what you mean my friend.

A small spotted lady in Star Fleet uniform walked in. She gave John a stern look. She came over and said you could have left me a message that you were just visiting a friend and that you weren't hurt. I heard about you tearing out after those raider's. I was looking at her and then at John and back at her. All of a sudden I started snickering and finally let out a belly laugh. John was blushing as the woman wrapped up his hand in hers. Snickering I said well John are you going to introduce me to your friend here. I see I'm not the only one here with female entanglements anymore. Snickering, he said Jarrod, this is T'lana, my girlfriend. He blushed, deep red as she hugged his arm and smiled.

Snickering I said, gets lonely out here on Star Bases doesn't it? Still snickering he said, not anymore. I said, T'Lana I am Jarrod Connor and it's a real pleasure to meet you. A nurse came back over and said your wife is ready. Would you like to see the baby? My eyes got real wide. T'Lana said, a baby? I covered up T'Lin and introduced them. Using the covering to hide her bump the nurse started examining. T'Lin gasped as the scanning jell was cold. But when she saw the viewer she was transfixed. I was so close to crying. The baby was beautiful. T'Lana pulled John back saying we need to leave and give them their privacy.

**The Lost Trill (Baby) Chap Three / Segment Three.**

Later, we walked into his office. There was an awkward moment of silence and we all just snickered as T'Lin hugged up to me. We all sat down and I passed over the sensor recordings. T'Lin being second officer explained. When cloaked, their shields are weaker.

And they disturb the ionized space dust around them. Then every 4 to 6 seconds their shields fluctuate. T"lin said your sensors disregard this as normal background clutter. Your newer systems filter it out automatically. Barriman went totally white, He muttered the answer was right there in front of us all along and we never saw it. T'Lin, you just might have won this war for us. He hastily made a copy of T'Lins report and the sensor readings along with his own and ordered T'Lana to send this off coded high priority to Star Fleet tactical. In the office she was all business even saying, yes sir. As she walked by I muttered saying I'll bet that stings doesn't it. She shot me a look and kept on walking back to her desk.

A few moments later the message was confirmed and marked top priority. John said, be nice to my assistant. Her kind doesn't usually ever get out in space without a Dax. The word Dax exploded in my mind I shot T'Lin a look and looked back at T'Lana. I shook my head and murmured it can't be. Back pedaling as Johns face began to change. I said No-No I mean you have spots. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to offend. You are Trill? She said yes, looking hard at me she asked why. John gave me his explain now look.  
I said it can't be. I am Trill. It was a family secret Mother never wanted me to know about.

I have one of her letters here I was straining to read and showed it to her. John sat back down. I said, I couldn't get it to translate. T'Lana shook as she read the letter. A tear dropped from the side of her face as she said I know why it won't translate. This is in ancient Trill. Star Fleet doesn't have this in their database. T'Lin hugged up close. She could tell I was much shaken. T'Lana said, It says My dearest little one. Your mother has forbidden me to tell you about where you come from she says as far as she is concerned you are Human and will stay that way. But I must explain. Soon you will be getting into what the humans call adolescence. You will feel many strange things and begin to think differently.

Without guidance, I fear you will have many troubles. My people shunned me because I was born with what they called a recessive gene. Normally, they are born with beautiful spots all over their bodies. I was not. Many are born with different abilities too. I was not.  
The leaders viewed me as damaged in some way and made me leave as soon as I was old enough so I would birth no more like me at home on Trill. Just before I left. I met someone and we fell in love.

The leaders tore us apart and sent me away. I was with child and did not know it. I had your mother. I found love on earth and settled there never wanting to go back again. Your mother met a human male and fell in love and had you. She believed you would be spared the gene and would never need to know of Trill. T'Lana's hand started shaking. Gulping for some air, T'Lana continued, she goes on saying I try to hide letters for you but your mother always found them. We would argue a lot about it. Remember back when you broke your arm playing baseball? It took a real long time to heal. I took a sample of your blood and scanned it. You have the gene even though your mother had you with a human.

John said, that explains a lot. I always wondered. You seemed bored with the classes. Like you already knew what was being taught. He got up and went to T'Lana and held her as she trembled. He helped her over to a chair and sat down in the other. T'Lana explained Centuries ago,on our world, Our people were plagued with a vicious disease. Millions died. We tried everything. Finally the disease ran its course and we were left with children born with this gene she talks about in your letter. None of them had spots and the leaders feared they would spread the disease again so they shunned them and forced them away.

Many, forced whole families to leave. Only families with spotted children were allowed to stay on Trill and enroll in our schools. Jarrod, I felt something when I first saw you. A kinship of some kind but I thought it was excitement over the baby. You are human and Trill. Both at the same time. Your grandmother says in this last part. I don't know how far you will go or what you will grow into. No other blended child with the Gene has ever lived past twelve. They all died during puberty and you didn't. You were sick for a long time but you lived and all the others didn't. Guard your secret well… T'Lana covered her mouth gasping. She said you are the only Trill/Human Hybrid. A real live "Lost Trill". I swallowed hard and held T'Lin.

I asked what of our child? My God what have I done? If she has the Gene will she die? John stood and said not if I can help it. Both of you come with me. All four of us went back to the medical bay and batteries of tests were ordered up. I held her hand as she shook with fear. T'Lana held her other hand and did all she could do to comfort and calm her. T'Lin looked deep into her eyes and seemed to know she could be trusted.

They scanned me and took some of my blood and did a comparison. The child's blood work came back as her having the gene but otherwise completely healthy. I held her close to me. She tried so hard to hide her emotions but simply could not and for the first time real tears fell from her face as we kissed. T'Lana gave me a translation matrix algorithm to update my translator and I pored through all her letters to see if there was any clue. Nothing just more of the same and some pictures of where she had lived and the man she had loved. John said stop borrowing trouble you do not have. You and T'Lin love each other more deeply than any other I have ever seen. Just keep being who you are. We will all watch over T'Lin. I walked around the base feeling like I had a scarlet letter stamped on me. As A human, I am faced with two choices. End the baby now and save T'Lin as much pain as possible, or let her have the child and hope for the best.

T'Lin was strong. Stronger than any other person I have ever known but this fractured her calm in a very deep personal way. In the educational facility on Vulcan she was branded damaged/defective because her mother died giving her life. Would she be forced to relive that shame or worse, would she pass the shame over on our daughter? I have killed before, the first few times sickened my guts but I got used to it. This time though, killing an innocent baby while it's still inside the body of the woman I loved was for me unforgivable. We would wait, hope, and pray. John and T'Lana seemed inseparable. They met on a resort planet called Risa. He told me he saw her swimming and the second he saw her shimmering body as she came up out the water, he was captured. He said the way the sun shimmered off her body was mesmerizing. They struck up a conversation and were both hooked. He was happy. That's what counts, out here in space.

T'Lana told me stories and found me some books and other historical data on Trill. She and I became friends. T'Lin however was not comfortable with me being around her. A pregnant Vulcan can be very sensitive about their mates being around other females. T'Lana saw it and warned me so we backed off any further conversations for a while and busied ourselves with doing some base jumping. (Haul's from one base to another).  
A few months went by and T'Lin relaxed some more. I pampered her. Spoiled her rotten and in her way she loved it.

I could tell hidden behind those eyes she had an intense need for my approval. I made sure she knew she had it and a whole lot more.

**The Lost Trill (Baby) Chap Three / Segment Four.**

They took more of my blood and sent the scans off to the Trill Medical Directorate. Four days later the news came back. The virus was a match to the plague with one major difference. T'Lana and John had to read the findings twice. T'Lin was trembling as I held her. T'lana was blushing. It seems that your grandmother also knew another male. I said yes, I met him. He came by to pay his respects at the grave site. He went back home to die on Vulcan and it was his wish to be buried there near those of his linage. Well it seems that while they were together they... ah... John had to finish for T'Lana. Jarrod an antigen in his blood was mixed with the fetus that was in your grandmother's womb.

It seems that they had sexual relations before and after your mother's birth. Her lovers Vulcan genetic material introduced an antigen that seriously weakened the virus she carried. Then and this is where it takes a really weird turn. After she had your mother. the weakened gene was introduced to "Human" DNA from your mothers lover and it killed the gene.T'Lana said, we ran all kinds of tests. The gene that is in you and T'Lin is completely dead and only show's up as a genetic marker. You're both going to be just fine. T'Lin and I hugged and cried with relief. T'Lana Hugged T'Lin hard and she cried right along with all of us. Jarrod kissed T'Lin right in-front of everybody for a very long time. She resisted at first and then finally melted into his embrace. Snickering T'Lana elbowed John and whispered take some notes old man.

John swept her up in his embrace and kissed her real passionately and then whispered into her ear, "Later". Poor T'Lana was gasping and turning deep red. Holding T'Lin I chided T'Lana saying as she blushed, Oh now tell me your mind didn't just go there. John cracked up and T'Lana buried her face in his chest vibrating with laughter.  
T'Lin said you live there and gave me a wicked grin. Surprised I had to say Yep-Yep I do. Its only logical when confronted with a wife as beautiful as you are. Her eyes were sparkling. She said, "Good answer". And kissed me again. I said, careful my princess. Your picking up all my bad habits. Moaning, she said "Good"  
We all had a good laugh over That one, and all went out together and shared a celebratory meal. T'Lin and T'Lana ate fruit and salad and pigged out on it. John and I had stake. To my surprise T'Lin asked for a taste. She spat it out in her napkin saying it tastes as bad as it looks. I snickered and said at least you tried. Later after dinner John and I had coffee and the ladies had ice water. It was a good evening. Our first one as friends considering as a head master I wanted to kill him. Time, Travels, and love changed us both. Some old wounds healed. I remembered Jinko telling me how he hated conflict. He would be pleased at how his friend has changed.

**The Lost Trill (Loss) Chap Four / Segment One.**

The trip back to Star Base Ten was going without a hitch. Then all hell broke loose. Hiding in a nebula were five Cloaked vessels. This time though with some inventive adjustments with our sensors we were able to see them. T'Lin and I brought all weapons on line. I transmitted a message, "GO AWAY". No response. Then T'Lin translated it into Klingon, and said we can see you, "Go Away" I transmitted a coded transmission to the convoy to continue to Starbase Ten at their same speed and heading. Act like you can't see them. And sent another coded message to Star Base Ten. Under attack, Klingons. Suspect trap. Keeping our bow directly aligned at the waiting ships as we drifted past.

all of a sudden This huge Vorcha class vessel de-cloaked and we tried to jump to warp and gain some maneuvering room. His first volley took out my warp drive and the five other smaller ships attacked like a pack of angry wolves. Our shields were holding but just barely. T'Lins first volley of transverse torpedoes caught the attacking Vorcha by surprise. We managed to strike first blood. I was proud of my wife's accuracy. We managed to damage their main reactor but not for long. Phaser cannons pounded two birds of prey sending one into the other in a blinding flash of an explosion. We kept firing till the Starboard phaser canon took a hit and was destroyed. We listed to Starboard and let them see us doing it.

True to their nature and thirst for blood the attacked there and tangled with our tail canon and lost two more ships. By then The Vorcha has regained control and was concentrating their fire on draining our sheilds. All of a sudden the Lexington appeared and started pounding on the Vorcha I concentrated all remaining firepower on the Bird of prey severely damaging his port wing. It was time for his ship to start listing. The Lexington took a terrible beating several shots direct to their bridge. Our shields were almost gone when the damaged Bird of Prey got of a lucky shot and impacted on our bridge. The sudden vacuum threw both of us across the bridge. Hull safety shields activated but we were both body slammed against the consoles of the science section. Their was another flash of fire from the Bird of prey as Lexington destroyed it. All I remember was a flash, explosion, White hot heat and T'Lin's screams.

The Vorcha had had enough and left at high warp. The victory was ours. The technology to see through their cloak worked but what a "God Awful" price it cost ship listed in space. Starboard Nacell was nonfunctional. Port Nacell was all but blown off. Sparks and fires were everywhere. The Lexington beamed us away as the fires neared the shipment of deuterium and my Jinko vanished in a white hot cloud of bits and pieces. Lexington took some hull damage from fragments as they impacted on her hull. The Lexington sluggishly turned to starboard and turned back toward Star Base Ten. The Keushu warped in and assisted in damage control and medical care for the wounded. They intercepted a coded Transmission. Destroy Lexington and Jinko at all costs. Cloak circumvented.

We had found their secret and had a bounty put on us and our ships to stop the spread of intel. I remember steam, smoke smell I smelled burning flesh and heard T'Lin scream out. Then somebody gave me a shot. Three days later I awoke held down by a hospital bed shield. I saw T'Lana. She looked like she had been crying for days. They had her sedated. She had some burns. I heard a doctor say, I can't believe she dragged him out of the fire.

He was already gone and she did it anyway. In my raspy voice I asked who. Startled, the doctor ran over and gave me another shot and darkness followed. So much time went by. My beard was full and every muscle ached with non use. I awoke in another hospital bed and I was at a different place. I could feel natural gravity. The room was cavernous a large sweeping arch of monitors, beds and equipment. I asked for some water. My throat was super dry from what feels like an Oxygen tube down my throat. My head was bandaged. Right eye too. It hurt. Hell, everything hurt. A nice doctor walked over and asked do you know where you are? I said a Planet. The gravity feels wrong. He said, Yes this is Risa.

You're in a convalescent ward. I asked where is my wife? The doctor said T'Lin was extremely burned. They had to put her in stasis' and a Vulcan Medical Ship took her back to Vulcan. The doctor's next words hit me like a gun shot. He said, I sorry Mr. Connar, She lost the baby. Everything inside me screamed out with grief and sorrow. I got another shot and more blackness. They kept me under for another three days and when I awoke I saw those beautiful but very sad blue eyes of T'Lana. She was wrapped in skin graft material. Her eyes said it all, my tears burned. She held my hand my sorrow flowed like a dam burst. She kept saying I am so sorry.

She grunted as I squeezed and I immediately backed off. I said, I'm sorry. How are your burns? Wiping tears she said not nearly as painful as my heart. She squeezed my hand and said, I'm Sorry Jarod, John is dead. The doctor came over with another shot I gave him a vicious warning glare that made him back pedal a few steps. I could tell her heart was broken and just held her as she cried. The nurses moved her over to the bed next to mine and helped her climb back in it. They gave her a shot and she went to sleep. I called the doctor over and said tell me what happened. An old friend came over. Captain Picard walked up and said, I can't stay long but as soon as I heard you were awake I had to see you.

T'Lin is in very bad shape as soon as she found out about the baby she went insane and tried to kill herself. She is in a facility on Vulcan receiving some very good treatments. That was 6 months ago. You and T'Lana were so badly burned that we didn't know if either of you would survive. She walked through a wall of flame and dragged the Lexington's captain to safety. Screaming in pain she dragged his body and would not stop till he was dragged free. He died a few hours later from wounds and burns suffered through the attack. Eight days later. Star Base Ten was attacked and destroyed. The Admirals, timely transmission of yours and T'Lin's sensor findings and reports made it possible to turn the tide of war.

A few days ago, Peace talks at the Kittimer facility started. I said, give me a ship and I will kill every one of them. Picard said I believe you would. He looked at T'Lana and said Star Fleet wants to decorate her for her bravery. She told them to keep their medal and quit Star Fleet all together. I said, Sir, no medal is ever going to heal the hole ripped in her heart or mine. He said I'm very sorry for your loss. I have to get back to my ship. Take Care Jarrod. I said Thank you for filling me in.

**The Lost Trill (Loss) Chap Four / Segment two.**

Waking was an all new lesson in pain. My body ached all over. the nurse came over and smiled at me her face perfectly framed by the most loveliest spots. Clearly she was sent to care for T'lana, but I sensed a kinship and felt more at ease with her than the others. It was time for me to start functioning went over and washed her hands then put on gloves and ran them under the hot water to warm them. She reached under the covers and unhooked me from the urine collector. She had a towel ready for any spills. She gently rolled me on my side and pulled out the solid waste collector.  
I was sore and she cleaned and rubbed some jell medicine on me and I began to relax. She said you have been in bed for a long time so go slow. She gently cleaned me and helped me to sit up for a few moments before standing.

I said usually, I get the name of one who handles me so well. Her eyes were sparkling she said my name is "Bretal Dax"  
I said so you are Trill. Smiling she said yes. I was sent here to tend to T'lana by the institute. She is being considered for her very own Dax. It was offered before and she refused. Her wounds are healing very slow. Bre'tal said I fear her heart will never heal again. She loved a man. His loss was extremely hard on her. I said, me too, John was a good friend to me. Bre'tal asked you talk in your sleep. Who is T'Lin? I took several gulps of air and began to tremble my eyes welled up with tears. Instantly she knew she had asked the wrong thing and embraced me with a compassion I had never known. She held me as my tears over whelmed me, whispering in my ear I am so sorry. I wrapped my arms around her and said she was my wife. We were attacked by Klingon's. My ship destroyed. Both of us hurt badly, barely alive. They took her away to Vulcan. She lost our baby and went insane.

That's all I know. She rested her head on my shoulder and held me as I cried. Feeling her body against mine, was a new sensation. Not sexual as many would think, but a kind of shared kinship. Almost like love but very different. As I began to settle, she backed away slowly. She said you have never known or been trained in the ways of being Trill. I am told you are both Trill and Human. Many on Trill want to see you. Many are willing to help. If you come,. You will find a home. And know many things not taught, but experienced to be understood.  
I gently placed my fingers upon her head and she closed her eyes. I saw in her mind a world of peace and love and slowly I withdrew. Breathlessly, she said you have abilities. She hugged me again and said you are a beautiful man. Let nobody say different. Far too many already have. I felt your wounds and they are many. My Dax tells me, you starve for love. She cried. Wiping her tears with my hand I said, I think I have found some and kissed my nurse. Her eyes danced with fire sparkling like stars. She said, Thank You. It's been lonely here not knowing these people.

She asked ready to get up? She helped me off the bed and Jarrod stood for the first time in months. His legs wobbled with non use laying in that hospital bed. The nurse smiled at my effort and brought me a walker. She was stunningly beautiful. The glare of the sun as it shone through the window shined a silhouette frame of a beautiful body through that sundress she was wearing under her lab coat. My body couldn't help but react. 

She smiled and whispered don't be embarrassed, I understand and will never say anything to anyone. You have been here for many months. re-learning about your body will take time. She helped me put on a robe and assisted as I took one agonizing step after another just to walk to the window. Outside Risa, was beautiful. I watched as this elderly couple walked down the pathway in the gardens below. He stopped and picked a flower and gave it to his woman. She smiled and with a single look, love passed between them. As special and private and priceless as it ever was. They shared in an instant over fifty years of love and life. It was easy to see that even on this alien world more than a hundred light years away from earth. Compassion and love can be shared. Thinking to myself, I like this world. Maybe I could find a home here. At least I found a friend...

**The Lost Trill (Loss) Chap Four / Segment three.**

Our next day was allowing us to sit in wheelchairs outside. The warmth of the sun was luxurious. I snickered at T'Lana. You are white as a sheet except your spots. She threw a pillow at me and snickered herself. I rolled over next to her for some quiet talk. I said the nurses say they want to implant you with a Dax. She said I'm not doing too well. Jarrod, I feel so lost without my John. It's like I'm drifting aimlessly in space. Part of me wants to get better. But the rest of me wants to just crawl back in that bed and sleep away the rest of my life. I said I know how you feel. I miss T'Lin so badly, My arms just ache to hold her again but she is with them now.

No telling what brain washing they are putting her through. She was afraid of them for some reason. I saw it all over her when they were in the same room with us. She stuck to me like velcro. She has been there 8 months now with no word. Vulcan's use their logic to justify almost anything. That's logic's beauty and its flaw. Shivering in eighty degree weather. My eyes tearing up again. I said for all I know they may have killed our baby in disgust claiming it an abomination. T'Lana hugged me as best she could. After a while I calmed down. I saw in her eyes so much pain, I asked please, if you need the Dax to get better, I want you to take it. Don't do it for me. Do it for John. He would want you to carry on.

You two ladies helped me to see the better parts of a man I once hated enough to kill.

Whispering, I know we are just friends, but I have lost T'Lin and my baby. I don't think I could take loosing you too. My words shook her hard. Right out of the blue she kissed me and said I feel the same about you.I read the books you brought me. Such a strange world and people. Strange but I can feel a pull to go there. I will go with you. Be there when they do the procedure and stay as long as you want. She said, right now all I want is for you to hold me. We helped each other out of the wheelchairs and over on the chase lounge with the sun shade. We just snuggled up and held hands and watched the oceans waves and the people laughing and playing. Moments later. The nurse came by and we were both fast asleep. Smiling, she murmured, now your heart will begin to heal. T'Lana slept with her head using my chest as a pillow holding me.

Again as before it felt different, but just as real and as natural as breathing. It was nearing nightfall when the nurse came to wake us. We both blushed with embarrassment and felt guilty for getting so comfortable with each other. I smiled and my eyes sparkled, I kissed her forehead and said we will get each other through this, I promise, I will be there for you if and when you need me. She whispered, Thank you for today. I haven't slept this well in months. Bre'tal helped me to my wheelchair and wheeled me to another room. It had showers and a huge tub. She said time for you to get a bath. 8 months of bed baths just won't do it. I said, I can do this. Bre'tal said, not for a while. Not till your strong enough. She started undressing me and helped me get my naked body down in the tub of soap and bubbles. Once I was settled she closed the door and locked it.

She took off her lab coat and hung it up to dry. Then she untied the strap around her neck and her sundress fell away. She was breath taking. Her spots went all the way down to her feet. I kept swallowing air trying to bring my emotions in check. She looked at me and said, look, see my body, I share it with you. This is our way on Trill. She was muscular. I watched each and every step as she walked over and stepped down in the tub with me. She said close your eyes and with your hands feel me. I took a deep breath and held her. It felt as if she was melting in my arms. Her skin was velvety soft and cold at first but warmed up quickly. Taking the soap and wash cloth I slowly began to wash her body exploring every inch. She explained about her spots and which ones to mash for relaxation and others for sexual stimulation. I asked are you sure you want to do this?

Share your body with me? She turned around and moved close, saying Oh yes. We kissed and merged feeling each other's sensations. She helped me with my abilities to reach in further and feel all of her. Her mind was completely fogged with passion. I must admit mine was too. She felt me. She reached in inside me and felt my body. She felt what it was doing to her body and we just held each other. She talked in my mind. Bre'tal said this is what it was like for two Trill to make love, The total sharing of mind, body and senses. I smiled as I looked into her eyes. I asked in her mind you do this with all others at home? She smiled and said not all others. Only a select few. Here, just you and T'Lana when she is strong enough. At home only with a couple of close special friends. You're my only male though.

She kissed me saying you are far more than just a beautiful man. Feeling her body cresting, it was easy to keep pace with her hunger. After, we both rested and washed. She slid around and scrubbed and messaged my back. She said you have no spots but in the same places on our bodies you react the same way. Still in her mind I said really? She slid around front and leaned her back some as I washed it and felt its slender muscular tone, I would mash and rub certain spots. It was the first time my hands had ever even touched another body than T'Lin's and I felt guilty. Bre'tal helped me feel better but it will take time to get over the love and passion of T'Lin. Bre'tal felt my guilt and hugged me tightly to her body. I was mesmerized at how beautiful she was. She said, On Trill she was a counselor. This was part of her job and she was happy to do it.

On Trill many things will be different. You will not understand. I share my love to help you adjust to our way. She said I am happy that I pleased you. There is no shame. Nothing to feel guilty about. Here lets finish your bath and get you back to bed. This was a lot for the first time.

**The Lost Trill (Loss) Chap Four / Segment Four.**

I was tired. Bre'tal got cleaned up and dressed and helped me dress in new bed clothes. She looked at me and smiled her eyes sparkled. I didn't know it but mine for a fraction of a second began to sparkle. Bre'tal was taken by surprise. She said you're becoming Trill. Your changing!.

No other species we know of can do the eye sparkle and certainly no other can do what we just did. I gently held her hand and looked at it. I whispered, I hope we can do it again. Snickering she said maybe but not for a while. Your abilities are new and your body is weak. You must go slow and rest in between. On Trill, your mother or grandmother would have been tasked to do the introduction to the union. Ewww, I would never do that. Snickering as she helped me put on my socks, she said that's the Human side of you talking.  
Jarrod, I have feelings for you. I feel your pull but I also feel the pull of another. We call it a kinship. A mental connection we sometimes make. We can do this with any species but it is most powerful between our own people. I whispered, First, I saw how beautiful you looked, but the you, I see inside is far greater.

I will never forget but I still feel the pull and guilt of my wife. Bre'tal cocked her head to one side and said you also feel the pull of another. Instantly, I looked at T'Lana sleeping in her bed. I whispered, it can't be. We are friends. I make her comfortable. Bre'tal she is all torn up inside. She said you looked. I did as we fell asleep. Just for a brief second. Smiling, you care for her. Whispering, I did ever since that first day I saw her. But I was married and she had John. I would never do anything to try to hurt her, John or my T'Lin. I feel her kinship yes but her heart belongs to John and just might forever. Bre'tal said, you're still thinking like a human. It does you great honor. Go slow, be her friend. Be whatever she needs, whenever she needs it. For now just be her friend. T'Lana didn't move but she was awake and heard everything we said. I think Bre'tal knew. She acted like she was wakening her up for her bath and Bre'tal carried her in her arms to her chair, and wheeled her away.

Many hours later she came back. I was sleepy but she came over to me and asked if she could sleep as we did on the chase. I opened the bed sheets and blanket as Bre'tal helped her up in my bed I gave her one of my pillows and we snuggled and soon went to sleep. Bre'tal and T'Lana shared a look just before she closed her eyes and relaxed. I wrapped T'Lana up in my arms so she would feel safe. Bre'tal saw something. She saw healing. She saw our connection was very strong. Her scans showed improvement being with me. And these both pleased and saddened Bre'tal. We woke the next day again with her lovely head resting on my chest. Her blue eyes looked at me. My eyes looked at her. Again we both felt guilt. But this time she didn't try to leave. I pulled up the covers and cradled her in my arms. I kissed her and whispered good morning. She blushed and snuggled up and we both went back to sleep. We were both dressed in full bed clothes. We just needed the comfort of being close to help us heal. I thought in my head. The more I learn, the more I want to go to this world.

**The Lost Trill (New experiences and old wounds) Chap Five / Segment One.**

** I must caution you before you read any further. This is a mature story for mature detail is more in depth and Graphic. The subject matter very frank but clean and non pornographic.**

**(18+ is advised)**

We woke again and this time Bre'tal was sitting in a bed chair watching us. We started to part and she said stop! Deny all you want, but all can see you need each other. You each have a past. Remember it. Cherish the memories, but stop living inside them. T'Lana I united with you and know your heart, just as much as I know his. T'Lana looked at me and blushed. She tried to look away and hide her face. With two fingers I cupped her chin and raised her face up to see me. Her eyes were sparkling. Looking deep inside her eyes I could see how terribly hurt and frightened she was.

I simply said, I promise to be whatever you need, whenever you need it. No explanations, no guilt and No shame. She slid her body over next to mine and brushed the hair from my face. We kissed and started growing closer than we had ever been. Suddenly, I felt a power surging through my body and then the Transporter effect caught me. We vanished in shimmering light. Medical transporters on Risa were very different and far gentler than all others. The next thing we knew we were feeling artificial gravity of a ship. The state room was low lit and extremely comfortable.

Bre'tal opened the hatch and walked in. She was wearing a Trill uniform of some kind. She hid it well but I could tell she had been crying. A counselor's job can be costly. She said, you both are thinking as Trill. It's time to be Trill. Put away the old memories of the past. We have disembarked and are now headed for Trill.

It's time for you to be what you promised for each other. Time for you to be Trill. She turned and walked out, closed and locked the hatch. T'Lana said nothing. Her eyes sparkling she unbuttoned my shirt and kissed my chest. Placing her hand on top of the kiss, I gasped, feeling her. She pulled her shirt up over her head. She was beautiful I gently explored her spots and rubbed some Bre'tal told me about. She closed her eyes and moaned. We helped each other undress. Feeling the silkiness of her skin was driving me wild with desire.  
We merged and touched the sides of our heads in the Trill way. Our shared adventure was just beginning but the sensations were mind boggling. I felt her. I felt all of her. I felt myself inside her, I felt what my body was doing to her. Our minds flowed with needs, wants, and desires.

Like a river flowing with no beginning and no end our passions rose crested and subsided many times. I could feel her feeling me. She felt all I was, inside me. We kissed, gasped, and moaned with our shared Union of mind and body.  
Slowly, all the memories of our shared past with others began to slip away. I felt strength returning to my body and her to hers as we crested one final time. Our bodies spent our union continued. Her body was so comfortable, laying atop mine, we hugged up and slowly began to relax into an emotion I never experienced. It was as if all the pain of all the world was suddenly switched off. I felt as if I was floating in a pool of pure love. It was like swimming in fluid but I could breathe.

T'Lana spoke to me. She admitted she was awake and heard everything I said to Bre'tal. She admitted she was feeling the very same thing. I said I will be anything you need. She softly said you already are everything I need. That and so much more suddenly we were walking through this field of flowers. Our skin warmed by the sunlight. T'Lana said this is my special place. Each Trill has one. each is completely different. It is a place we can go and be at peace with the ones we love. I asked you love me? She said more and more each moment we share this union and I experience what it's like to be you. She said close your eyes and feel me. She brushed her soft hand through a clump of flowers. I said oh wow, to feel your body.  
She said here we share everything. I looked over to my right and over to my left. There was a large burned patch of the garden. I knew before T'Lana ever said anything.

I pointed and said past memories. T'Lana said, I brought you here because you need to make a decision. Go there and remember the past, or stay here and be with me. The choice was painful but in the end it was no choice at all. In our minds I scooped T'Lana up in my arms and turned away from the burnt patches and carried her in the other direction. I felt her heart leap with joy and we kissed very passionately. Moments later we awake and went to the showers to wash away the past from our bodies. Seeing each other naked felt as normal as breathing, then she looked down and gasped. I covered up saying sorry. Snickering, she played with me. She said no not that silly, look at your feet. You're growing spots! Bre'tal said you were beginning to change. I didn't believe her. I gulped and asked did she tell you what we did.

Hugging me, her head all wet she moaned and said more than that, she showed me when I united with her. I said, Huh? She snickered and said it is our way, when help is needed. A union needed for healing. Then she blushed and turned away from me she said unless you don't want me. I gently turned her around and picked her up in my arms. We merged and she moaned, I said does this feel like a man who does not want his woman? She arched her back and shivered with desire. She said, you draw and excite me like no other. As the steam of the shower rose up so did the moans of our desire as our minds became fogged over with the want and need of each other. After we settled and got cleaned off again.

I gently dried her. Her eyes sparkled as I went touching every inch of her body and she was driving me wild with her touch as she dried me. It was much easier to stand and walk now with the renewed strength of our union. We looked through the closets and drawers and found some clothes. We opened the hatch and a guard was waiting. He smiled and said follow me. We went further down in the belly of the ship. To a room that was used to replicate and eat food. Bre'Tal was sipping on some steamy fluid and looked up at us. She said nothing.  
She just stood there with a wicked look and stare. T'Lana took my right hand in both hers and hugged up against me. We closed our eyes and took a deep breath and let out a sigh. Bre'Tal snickered and said It's about time. Now sit here and eat. You both need nourishment T'Lana I need to tend to your burns. They look much better. T'Lana said they feel much better.

The food looked different, but tasted great. After we were full Bre'Tal guided us back to our state room. Once inside Bre'tal patted the bed and said T'Lana take off your clothes and sit here while I apply your salve. Suddenly she jerked back and said the bed is very wet. Giving T'Lana a look Bre'tal said your union was fruitful. T'lana blushed deep red and hid her face. I grinned and said, very fruitful. Instantly T'Lana smacked my arm and hid behind me. Her voice muffled by my shirt she said I was in need. Bre'Tal sat down beside her as she hid her face away from Bre'Tal. She rubbed her shoulders and back saying it was a very great need and nothing to be ashamed about. You are still young T'Lana and when you have your Dax, it will explain a great many things. Still rubbing her back Bre'Tal looked at me and explained. Trill women, when young may have several unions.

However, T'Lana here is very shy and only has had a few. When she was young the others noticed and ridiculed her. Called her many names. I said I know the feeling. Bre'tal said I am sure you do, stuck in an earth school thinking and dealing with the hormones of a Trill. You could have erupted, gone crazy and hurt many people. With shame, I said I thought about it. Bre'Tal, I know all this is hard on you. She held up her hand for silence. Bre'tal said I was hurt before but I have made my peace with it. I am a counselor and it is part of my job. Bretal tried to cover it but her nerve slipped and she wavered in her determination. I stood up and took her by the hand. I pulled her to her feet and embraced her. I placed my fingers to her head and whispered in her ear so T'Lana could hear. It is Trill to care is it not? She said yes. Then know my thanks and appreciation for your compassion and care as you did your duty as a counselor. I slowly released her into T'Lana's embrace. Bre'Tal tried not to but she let go some tears. We all sat back down and she said Thank you. Thank You for making me feel better. There is more though to your union than you know Jarrod. For our people, when body fluids are mixed or exchanged our bodies consume the material for one of two purposes. One is healing. The other is replication. T'Lana here is very young. She must pass through what humans call Puberty to change over to Replication. T'Lana here is the equivalent of 25 of your earth years. Her heart was hurting. Her body was hurting. Even now inside her, What you gave her is being absorbed and consumed to help her healing. 

Finally she came out from hiding and looked up at me longing for acceptance. I leaned down and kissed her. T'Lana brightened up like an old style light bulb. Bretal changed the sheets and T'Lana undressed. I watched as Bre'Tal applied the cooling salve to her burns. She said, you showed great bravery in enduring these burns. Most don't survive burns this bad. I gently sat down beside her on the side of the bed and said Great bravery and also great love. T'Lana's tears began to fall. I wiped them away, saying there is no shame in our past or in those we loved. They will always be a part of us, both yours and mine. I accept you as you are, and hope you can accept me as I am. T'Lana hugged me so hard. She said I accept you Jarrod. I am terrified of getting my Dax. I need you to get me through all this. Kissing the top of her head I said I am with you my love.

From now on we face what comes, a head, together. Bre'Tal stole a kiss and whispered now your heart is turning Trill. Bre'Tal said you both need rest and togetherness now. I took off my clothes and shot Bre'Tal a wicked look, then slid in the bed under the covers. T'Lana slid up beside me. Holding me, she leaned up and gave me a kiss. and laid her head down on my chest. We relaxed as Bre'Tal left and closed the hatch. Laying there together, I was learning more of what it's like to be trill. My thoughts of Earth, Jinko and the pains of the past were beginning to fade away. I asked myself if Trill should have been my home all along. I wondered how much pain would have been spared.

**The Lost Trill (New experiences and old wounds) Chap Five / Segment Two.**

We woke up the next day not knowing what adventure lies ahead. Not knowing and not caring. In the moment we were together snuggled and very warm. She was watching me sleep. I pop'd my eyes open really quickly and startled her. She smiled and giggled. The vibrations felt good on my chest and I smiled at her. I whispered you are so beautiful and rubbed her back. She closed her eyes for a moment and moaned.  
She propped herself up on one arm and silently stared at me. Using her fingers she gently rubbed my chest reaching under the sheets, her touch made me gasp. She said I see you wake up in need.

John used to... Instantly she started crying and I just held her. She said I'm sorry I wiped her tears away and asked why? Never be sorry for being yourself. I sometimes think about my T'Lin. I gently kissed her tears away. I said T'Lana for all this about us to work we must be honest with each other. I know you will have love for him for a very long time. Was he your first serious romance? Blushing, she said, no he was my second. My first was a very young boy. We met at school and quickly became friends. A year or so later, we were studying at my place and it just happened. After, everything began to change. I felt many new and strange feelings. But then he went away with his family and I was alone. It hurt so much being alone that when I finally got used to it I vowed never to union again.

Years later, I met John. He was the first human I ever met. He was so tall and strong. We fell for each other almost overnight. We were so happy together. Then he got transferred to Star Base Ten and I had to make a choice. I had to decide. Take a Dax or stay on Trill. John whisked me away and had a private ceremony and we married. My family virtually disowned me. I was terrified of the Dax's. I watched one being implanted. I saw how it changed the person. It was as if all the man was erased and this new being started talking with his voice. He wanted to go join a star ship and see the stars. 20 days later his Dax rejected him and had to be removed. He was cared for and honored for the joining. A Dax can't decide who to be joined with, but it can decide if they want to stay joined with a person. His whole family shunned him feeling he was broken or defective in some way. I said I know that feeling very well.

He was union with a pretty girl and she rejected him too. It was a long time before wounded feelings began to heal. Jarrod, when he joined he changed and his woman was told to go. The new person didn't want her anymore. Jarod I'm afraid when my time comes, I might not want you anymore and I couldn't take that. I have been inside you. I have felt your wounds, both to your body and spirit. The Humans were cruel beyond words, The death of Jinko still sits here, T'Lana placed her warm hand on my chest, like an open wound. Now there is so much confusion and turmoil over T'Lin, I never want to hurt you. I slid her over on top of me, let her feel my desire and said Right here, Right now we can't help those we once loved, but we can help each other and face whats ahead one day at a time. We kissed passionately and merged.  
Our minds linked again with the fog of desire. I went inside her and felt her fear. I warmed her body with mine giving her all the comfort I possibly can. A while later we were both cresting gasping for air.  
Holding as the power of the motions surged through our bodies like fluid lightening. T'Lana moaned and arched her back with release. My body answered hers filling her completely.  
And we held on tight as wave after wave of shimmering pleasure showered down our bodies. Once again sleep took us and we were still joined. I felt and saw her dreams and she saw mine. She saw how T'Lin and I first met and mated. and I saw her and Johns first night together. No one was better than the other. Just different emotions. Some more intense, some less.  
We were a couple hours away from Trill. After arrival, we were to meet two scientists and go see the Dax's in a lower cavern. T'Lana had to have her skin healed. My fluids could only do so much. I was falling in love with T'Lana and I had to face the very real chance that her new Dax, won't want me to be with her anymore.

**The Lost Trill (New experiences and old wounds) Chap Five / Segment Three.**

We have arrived. The Planet Trill looms ahead. I stare at the viewing screen as the Captain turns to look at me. He said so you are the celebrity Bre'tal has hidden in the lower decks. I said, I'm sorry sir I meant no harm, I just...I've never been here and yet I feel as if I've never left. Your world has many mysteries. The Captain asked, So you are him. The Lost Trill come find his way home. Sir obviously, my presence has irritated you I will leave. The Captain looked away and sighed, He said no it is I that am sorry. As a captain I have to deal in absolutes. Your existence is a mystery. As Captain Secrets are not my strong suit. A voice came from behind me. T'Lana said, then perhaps you should pursue another line of work. The Captain instantly recognized her voice. He bowed and said My Lady, I mean no offence. Your departure upset the family greatly. T'Lana said, My Family, I will deal with later. Holding my hand T'Lana proclaimed, this man is my Union. He will be treated with the same respect you accord me, Understood! The Captain bowed again to T'Lana and said yes my lady and then he bowed to me saying Sir.

Now in a much softer voice T'Lana held hands with the captain. She said My friend, How many years have we known each other?

His eyes sparkled, nineteen years and counting. I searched my memories and quickly said you, I know you. T'Lana showed me. You were her first union. The Captain said your memory recall is good. My Lady, it pains me to see you so injured. I'm glad you found a strong union to regain your strength. Captain as soon as we orbit. We journey to the symbiot pools and put an end to my injuries. I will contact my family after. The Captain started to resist but she stopped him. T'Lana said I Mean after. I will not have them gloat and fawn over my injuries and say I told you so. I will stand before my father as a strong princess. Come Jarrod. We must make ready.

As we walked back to our quarters we said nothing. but as soon as that door closed I pulled out a chair and sat down and stared at T'Lana. I said, First I am not angry. Second, I know you at least I thought I did. "My Lady" T'Lana knelt down. Holding my hands, she said there are many secrets about me and my people. To this entire world I am known as Princess T'Lana. I put away and hid my royal linage, so I could escape and see the stars. John smuggled me away. We met in the baths when he was here on leave. My family would never have let me leave so I agreed to marry him and abdicate my line of succession as Queen. I hid this from you and I am sorry. Looking deep into her eyes I said my love, I accepted you as you are and I meant it.

She kissed me passionately, and Bre'tal knocked on the door. Before we could react the door opened and a man slightly taller than me walked in first. Instantly, I stepped in between him and T'Lana was not amused. I held out my hand to her and she grasped it. I said he is father, we must respect this. And we both knelt down. Bre'Tal was surprised. She started to say something but the king silenced her and told her to leave. Once the door was closed his manner changed. He said it appears you have found a union worthy of your stubbornness. Rise, both of you. I should lock you up in the residence for the rest of your life for this. We almost tore up the treaty with the Federation over your stunt.

Look at you my child more broken on the inside than out. Come to me. I helped her up and over to him. and backed away. I felt his probing even as he gently held his daughter. He said your wounds are healing. This is good. The reports nearly gave your mother a heart attack. Your bravery was immeasurable. I feel your heals as well. I asked Sir, May I speak.

Grimcessing with some pain, I said I too am hurt and must sit. T'Lana rushed over and helped me sit on the edge of the bed. He sat in the chair and looked at me tenderly. He said I'm sorry. I did not know you were hurt. And you gave union to help my child. For this I thank you. But what I see is no ordinary Union. I think I see love. She held my hand in hers. I said Sir, Your daughter was very bad. Bre'tal told me most would not have survived the burns of her body. But the burns of her loss were far worse. I do love your daughter. And would give all I am to heal her and keep her safe. The King said it pleases me that she has found such a one.

When you first saw me your thought was protection. For now, You will stay and continue your union with my daughter. But I am only the first to convince. Her mother and brothers will be challenging. Child let me hold you. T'Lana crawled over into his lap and embrace. Griminessing as he squeezed. He let go for a moment. I joined with T'Lana and took her pain. The King was impressed. I said she is burned all down her back on her right side under her clothes. The door opened and two gurneys were brought in. I was helped in one and the King gently placed T'Lana in another. I had to break the link as we were carried out to a shuttle. The next thing I remember was waking asleep next to T'Lana. I tenderly looked at her burns and applied the cooling salve just as Bre'Tal showed me. Slowly she began to relax and sleep better. The Queen was watching and was as impressed as her husband. We slept off and on for a couple days. There seemed to be a presence here on this world soothing to me. A feeling of home I've never felt before.

**The Lost Trill (New experiences and old wounds) Chap Five / Segment Four.**

We woke in bed together. Our union was strong. Even the King and Queen couldn't deny it. I worried about the Queen. How she would like me. If she would accept me or scream and shun me as others have done in the past. I can't pretend to be someone else. I am not a Vulcan that can carry the hardened face of emotion control.  
It's not right or fair to me or T'Lana or her mother. Little did I know she was watching when I thought she wasn't and saw for herself how tender and loving I was to her daughter. How I tended her wounds, our unions, The love we shared, How I would tenderly hold and carry her to the bathroom and help her clean after. There was no hiding anything. not our bodies, or our love. T'Lana would comfort me when I would cry at night over my mate or my friend Jinko. I would hold and comfort her when she cried and mourned the loss of her John. Both King and Queen had their own Dax's, One day I was summoned to a meeting with T'Lana's mother and father.

I was so scared; I hardly knew what to say. I started things with, I know all this is awkward. You don't know me and I know very little about you or this world my Grandmother came from. It wasn't till after my Mother and Grandmother were killed that I even knew I had a Trill Heritage. I showed them my last letter from Grandmother. All the others were destroyed when my ship the Jinko blew up.

I come here a total stranger. There is one thing I do know. I love your daughter. If you had seen her back in that hospital on Risa you would have hardly recognized her. She was burned nearly from her head to her feet. For day's I watched as Bre'Tal and the others worked on her. She was all give up inside and wanted to sleep the rest of her life away. We didn't just meet or was put together. I knew the man she union-ed with and loved. He was a good man. The queen asked You and my daughter are now union-ed. I can't deny that. It fills my heart with joy to see your tenderness of her but soon things may change. Yes Maim, It's a real fear of mine your daughter came home to be joined with her own Dax, He or she may not want me anymore. She is terrified of the Dax. She told me she saw a joining change a person and that person had his Dax reject him.

The Queen was probing my mind and said you know this word Rejection, very well. I gulped some air to control my emotion as some of the memories came forward in my mind. I had to use my chair as a prop but I knelt down before her and said My Queen I offer myself. Link with me and know all. She was surprised; she murmured such great honesty and trust. She looked at the King for a moment and then reached down and linked with my mind. I offered no resistance and held back nothing. All my memories were laid bare for her to see. We both wept bitterly. Finally after a few moments she broke the link and I gasped and covered my face.

She was shivering. She leaned down rubbing my back as I hid my face away. She said such cruelty, pain, and death you really are of two worlds. I didn't think it possible .A real descendant from the old days. You are a real live Lost Trill. T'Lana's voice startled all of us. Bre'Tal was helping her walk. She said Majesties she ordered me to bring her to you T'Lana looked at a servant and said Bring him a wet cloth and towel to clean his face. Tending to me she said now you know what I know mother, and partly why I love him so much. He has been nothing but gentle and kind. I wanted to shrivel up and die and he helped me want to live again. I guess you know by now I have decided to take a Dax for my very own. I hope that will please you both.  
The Queen said Child, he can't have a Dax he is part Human. The Dax will reject him. T'Lana said, He has union-ed with me many times. Giving all of himself to me, Giving me his strength, his will to live, His love, all that he has to heal me and bring me home.

Can there be any greater honor. All he wanted was. All he asked of me was to love and accept him as he was. And I have done so. He wanted a home and people to belong too. The Human's betrayed abused and belittled him. He had no idea he was born different.  
T'Lana said I need to be healed by the symbiot's before I can join with one. The King said, your union shall live in our home as family for as long as he wishes. The Queen stood and stepped down to face me. I wiped my face again saying sorry I'm such a wreck. Embracing me she said, nonsense child. You are home. Here in this house, and here in my heart. She let me go and all I could say was Thank You as the servant helped me back to my room.

**The Lost Trill (Change and loss) Chap Six / Segment One.**

It was the sixth day of my impromptu visit to Trill. Her servants came to bathe her and dress her only in her robe. At first, I was told to stay in her room. But she balked at any attempt to separate us. We went to the baths and bathed in the effervescent waters. The rules were simple. No Unions till after the healing and the joining of the Dax.  
I was to help her feel more comfortable. Nothing more. We swam and both let the waters sooth our skin. I gave her a kiss and said I meant it, whatever must be faced we will face together. Her eyes were searching mine trying to memorize the contours of my face. The feel of my touch. and the scent of my skin.

The lab assistant came out and Bre'Tal came out for me. T'Lana was scared and her tenseness made her wounds hurt more. Everything here was a first. Bre'Tal explained everything as the nurse attended T'Lana. We went over to an elevator and all four of us, went down together to a lab on the next to the bottom floor. There I met Dr. Tolan and his son Jacivil for the first time. I helped T'Lana over to the scanning pad, Gave her a kiss and whispered it's going to be all right. Dr. Tolin, his son and the staff all stopped and bowed. said, My Lady we are ready when you are. She shot me a glance almost too scared to talk.

I spoke for her. Begin the scan. Dr. Tolin. I felt Jacivil. and said probe her mind not mine. Not without asking. Jacivil withdrew. He said, you are him. Man of two worlds. I said, I am and I am her union. Let's please get this over with. Bre'Tal said this won't hurt a bit you will just spin around. We must take your robe though. T'Lana said so many will see me naked. I asked, Dr. Tolin does all this Lab personnel need to be here? He said, All non essential personnel leave the lab. Now, all stopped and many left. Now,only a few remained. I reached and gently disrobed T'Lana. Just keep your eyes closed and try to stay still. The scanner slowly turned you around. All the burn marks were scanned located, charted, and downloaded into the computer. The data was translated in Symbiot language and sent down to the pools.

Dr Tolin asked, may we scan you it won't take long just some research. I asked you mean to go with the samples Bre'Tal brought? Bre'Tal was surprised and Dr Tolin blushed all pink along with her. Looking down at Jacivil. I I said as he was probing my mind I saw it. Saw it in his mind. Just so we have an understanding. If you want samples, be respectful and ask. Don't do things behind my back. I've had enough of that treatment from the Humans. Dr. Tolin bowed and apologized. I said, we will talk later. T'Lana is in pain and can't stand on her own much longer. My scan ended and I scooped T'Lana's body in my arms. Dr. Tolin walked up and examined her. T'Lana clung to me. Pulling away from him. He whispered softly, It's ok child this part and what comes next will hurt but only for a short time. We backed up into the elevator. I said Bre'Tal take our robe's and shoes.  
You and I need a long talk but later. We went down with Dr. Tolin to the symbiot caves It was steamy. Dark and all damp everywhere.

I stood there where Dr Tolin guided me. He opened a gate and I saw a hint of something swimming in the water. A strange grayish white light floated across the pool. I looked and saw a man come from another room and stick his hand into the pool. The light went over to him and he talked. He said, I see the brave one has arrived. Who are you? I said, I am Jarrod her union. I have done my best to provide for her healing and humbly ask for your help. The Man said, You are the one. The old ones sing to you. Man of two worlds. I said, I have heard them and felt their peace and love. They bring me great comfort. and I Thank them. The man continued she does not talk? T'Lana said I am afraid. This is my first time ever here. My wounds are hurting me badly. Can you please help me? Man of two worlds. What say you? All I know is from books I have read. She was very brave but her wounds and grief over the death of her friend she risked her life to save has robbed her of her strength and energy.

Please, I will give you whatever I can. Please help her. May I carry her into the pool? The man said, she is very young. Her body very small step into the pool with her and gently place her on the pool bottom. Give her the mouth piece and help her get in into her mouth. She must breathe through her mouth during this process. It will hurt only once and then never again. Lower her head down into the bottom of the pool and get out. Go into the pool next to her and do the same. I told T'Lana just try to relax. Keep your eyes closed here is a pincer for your nose.

Just breath in and out slowly through the tube. Ready? She nodded I lowered her head down to the bottom of the pool. I climbed out and over into the other pool and took the pincer and mouth piece and laid down flat on the pool bottom. I felt another gate open and something swam in fast. We both got stung with a paralyzing shock and felt weird and strange sensations. I could feel my strength returning. My burns went numb. T'Lana was thrashing about. Then she went still. She had to be stung twice to be paralyzed. Then, I felt her, I felt the symbiot talk to my mind.. She was kind and beautiful. She spoke to my mind with kind words. She read my mind and knew of my love for T'Lana but cautioned we may have to be apart for a while. She saw in my mind I had sorrow for another very close to me and sorrow for the death of my baby.  
I could feel in my mind her comforting me much the same way Bre'tal first comforted my body. She saw my memory of Jinko dying.

I was losing my control of my emotions and strained to hold on. She stung me again and told me to climb out and leave the pool. I rose up covered in some gelatinous gray gunk. Bre'Tal helped me over to the water to wash out my mouth and eyes. I removed the nose pinch and screamed out in an emotional release I couldn't control. Bre'Tal held me as I shivered and screamed. She kept saying let it out. Let it all out. I held Bre'Tal embracing her with much love. She helped me over to the showers and using her hands she washed me off rubbing my body to get the gunk off. Then she gave me a cloth and some special soothing soap. The rest of the gunk came off of me and I washed Bre'Tal off as well. Her eyes glittered with my touch. After we finished the man came back out again and the light touched his hand again. He said, T'Lana is ready but she is very tired. Very frightened and very tired.

She needs your help. I climbed in the pool and slowly raised her head up I un- pinched her nose and helped her with the mouth piece. She coughed and hacked as Bre'Tal and I carried her over to the water and began washing off her tiny body. I could see the brightness of her spots. Her wounds were she got her mouth cleaned out I heard her blood curdling screams she was shaking with the force of the emotions all pouring out of her. Dr. Tolin said, Hurry we still need to do the implantation while the paralytic is still in effect. We both washed her off quickly and bathed her with the soap Bre'Tal grabbed a couple towels and I wrapped her up in one and scooped her up in my arms. I said lead the way , before we both lose our nerve. We rushed back up in the elevator.

Bretal grabbed our robes and shoes and held them for me. T'Lana couldn't speak but her eyes said it all. I leaned down and gave her a kiss to reassure her and whispered, remember my kiss. Bre'Tal was staring at me I leaned over and gave her a small kiss and whispered. Thank You. Her eyes were dancing. I had to admit I was feeling something for her too. Little did I know how much I would need her.  
The elevator stopped at a floor just above. Bre'tal took T'Lana's towel from her body and I gently laid her on the operating table. I saw the symbiot in the prep tank. He looked big. I went back to T'Lana as the nurses dried her off some more and covered her with these blue cloths exposing her belly and abdomen. They gave her some more O2 and her vital's stabilized. Dr. Tolin gave her a mild sedative to calm her nerves.

After she fell asleep he made a small incision in her upper abdomen. Gently pulling it up to separate the skin from the abdomen sack, he made a small incision and picked up the symbiot.  
He held it out over her belly. It was still. Dr'Tolin said the symbiot will signal when he is ready. He will start wiggling his tail back and forth.  
I started to say something but one look from Bre'Tal told me to just stand aside and be quiet. I held her hand as the doctor slowly inserted the symbiot inside her body. For a moment it looked like he might not fit but he wiggled in between her organs and settled down inside. Dr. Tolin used the skin sealer lazer and closed her up. Bre'Tal held me, she squeezed my hand and whispered, first few moments will tell rejection or not. Once the symbiot is seated and made its first connections to her nervous system, she will wake up for a brief moment you can talk to her then.

The symbiot was a male but, it has had a female host before. It will need time to remember and adjust. She will sleep alone for the first few days. A bed next to her is where you and I will sleep and assist her as needed gave her the wake up shot slowly she opened her eyes. I looked down at her. She smiled sleepily and said hello. I said, rest. you and your host have had a busy day. Are you doing well? Is she ok? She smiled and said, Jarrod we both are. I said, Dax T'lana will tell you about me. you are in a female body now and need time to rest and adjust. She smiled, the Dax said your voice is so soothing. You are beautiful. With that, she went back to sleep.

Dr Tolin said, Now, we must see to your wounds Jarrod. She will sleep for many days. Bre'Tal is trained for this moment and will explain. Jarrod, she remembers you. That is a very good sign she will imprint on the Dax and he might not reject you. Listen closely Jarrod. All this is very new to you. Everything here is a secret kept for thousands of generations. You can never tell a soul what you have seen. The nurses removed the blue operating cloths and covered her body with a couple of warm blankets.

Bre'Tal explained, The warmth will promote a better sleep and the symbiot will rapidly grow more nerve connections. He looked up and saw the King and Queen holding hands, watching and signaled all is well. Both looked very re-leaved. He turned back to me. Ok Now Jarod there will be a separation period of one week where you may visit when she is awake but she must sleep alone Bre'Tal will comfort you and explain more about her needs.  
The nurses have all ready moved and prepared your beds. He tapped his hand on the table sit here and lay down. Bre'Tal helped and gently lowered my head. I was given a shot and the last thing I saw was Bre'Tal's eyes sparkling. Then the Dr. looked and jumped back. He saw my eyes sparkling as I closed mine. My surgery was a bit more extensive than a simple skin cover. A couple of puss shunt drainage tubes had to be removed. and the skin sealed by his lazer. He noticed. and showed Bre'Tal, saying, Its faint but,his feet has spots. He may be changing. Now that he heals he may change more rapidly. He gave me a final scan and they wheeled both of us down through a very quiet hallway. I was in and out of conciseness. We were loaded on a shuttle and taken back to the Capital residence.

Bre'Tal worked with the nurses and eased me over on to my new bed. She climbed in and snuggled up next to me to warm and comfort me. I remember waking briefly and saw nurses moving T'Lana gently over on to her bed. Three nurses covered us with blankets. Two for me and Bre'Tal and two for T'Lana. I saw four nurses being briefed by the Queen she watched her daughter with so much love in her eyes. I could almost see the sparkles from here. T'Lana had taken a big step into a far bigger world than she would ever know. I tried to watch but was so tired. I felt Bre'Tals head on my chest and her hand gently rubbing my chest. Second's later sleep took us both away.

**The Lost Trill (Change and loss) Chap Six / Segment Two.**

My sleep was deep but I woke up stiff and sore. My muscles now regenerated complained bitterly and the places where the shunt drains were screaming out in pain I tried to move and grimmest in stabbing pain. Bre'Tal woke up with a start. She slid back out and off the bed and grabbed a shot gun and gave me a pain shot. She slid right back in bed and snuggled up again I rubbed her back and played with her but with my left hand she giggled. Her eyes sparkled. We both smiled she said you're feeling better. I whispered and cupped her cheek with my hand and said you feel pretty good too. Her eyed danced and she grinned wickedly. I looked over and saw T'Lanas bed was empty and all the sheets removed. I asked what happened. Bre'Tal said, everything is ok Bre'Tal leaned up on one arm rubbing my chest. About an hour ago T'Lana had an accident. It's common with females on their first few days of being conjoined.  
The Dax doesn't have all his nerve connections and can't control her bowel and renal system yet. She made a mess in the bed and got scared and embarrassed about it. Her servants unfolded and pulled out her sheets at all four corners and slid her mess and all over on to a gurney and took her to the showers to be washed off. She continued, these early days both Dax and host must through trial and error to figure each other out. Find out what works and what doesn't. Your strength returns but slowly. It will be a few days before you can move about. Reaching down under the sheets she said I see you wake up in need. She slid over on top of me and slowly, gently we merged. I whispered I seem to be at your mercy. Bre'Tal said Just they way I like, and grinned wickedly. I whispered don't give any more samples to .

Bre'Tal froze. she laid her head down on my chest and said I'm sorry Jarrod. There has never been a blended species like you. You have no Dax yet you possess many gifts and powers of one who does. I was ordered to do what was needed to get the samples. I am a counselor. One of my "Gifts" is my body. I use it to please and calm. I do this because I want to. Not have to. I like you a lot Jarrod. I know I could never replace or equal what you feel for T'Lana and don't intend to try. She looked away, Do I displease you? Rubbing the spots all up and down her back I whispered, you could never displease me unless you lie or hide things from me. For what we share to work and last we must be honest with each other.

The gurney rolled back in the room. T'Lana was awake I said had an accident aeh? She blushed laying there as she waited on the servants to get new sheets and re make the bed. Are you you? or Dax? T'Lana said I am both for now. T'Lana is very weak. I tire quickly strengthening her and growing my nerve connections. The Conjoining was hard on her. She is in no danger but very tired. T'Lana said Bre'Tal will guide you. She will be your union now. She is weak and cant union. I thought for a moment. She needs my fluids to grow stronger? Dax said, it will help. Blushing myself, I said, Then Bre'Tal will act as go between. Remove my fluids extract it and inject it inside the host. Bre'Tal and T'Lana was surprised and Dax was shocked. Then another voice from behind me spoke up. It was the King. Bre'Tal slid down off me and hid her face from his stare. He said, Man of Two Worlds. It seems you can combine the best of both. You honor my family. He said, What you propose shall be done. It will only be needed a few times as the Dax grows stronger in her. I asked, now that we are family may I ask your name?  
Snickering he nodded as he sat down beside my bed, I guess with all that's happened introductions is the least of what is owed. He said Jarrod, My name used to be very similar to yours . I was called Jaron. Now, with my Dax I am known as Jar'don Tigan Dax. My lovely wife and Queen's name is Yanas Tigan Dax. Your total honesty and willingness to help no matter how awkward has won over her heart and mine. Jarrod, you are so unique our people talk about you daily in the council. Your blood has the antigen that cures the vicious plague of 300 years ago. Unknown to her I carry the gene, or I did till you came and made the cure from your blood.

Feeling wicked the King patted Bre'Tals butt. Snickering he said relax girl. Just admiring your beauty. She popped her head out from under the sheets and gave Jar'Don a look. He said, I was conjoined nearly one hundred years ago. My Dax was born Female. My first host was very much like your Union here Miss Bre'Tal. Yanas's Dax also born female. At first, our union was for convenience. a by product of a royal wedding. Looking at his daughter, after some time both hosts and Dax's grew to love each other and Yanas bore me two sons and then her last child. T'Lana here. It was a hard birth and she had to stop having children. She is the last of our family to take a Dax. You made that possible. We all feared she never wood. The whole idea terrified her. Confused, I asked so with you there is no gender barrier? You are male with the memories of being female?

He said It's more complicated than that. The servants have returned with a medical tray. Jor'don said, I need to go. Bre'Tal here is feeling Embarrassed. I will go speak with Yanas. We will bring you both food and clothes for when you can move about again. You will have your own room and your union will be with you at all times to assist and explain. He looked at her and said Thank you Bre'tal for all you did for T'Lana The Queen and I are in your debt. He walked away and Bre'Tal said Finally, I'm laying here merged on top of you and he walks up and pats my butt. Not what I call a romantic moment. Snickering I slid her hips back over and merged again with her. And said Awkward with a capital A. Your people are very open with all this. It's hard to take in all the complexities of relationships without a Gender barrier.

Warming me she moaned and said I have no confusion's about my gender. Kissing her passionately I said, No you don't I whispered in her ear as I filled her womb I have no confusion about how you feel about me, nor I you. We waited for a while till our passions settled and Bre'Tal covered her head under the sheets and blankets. She lifted up off of me and covered me with her belly. The covers were gently folded up till she was exposed. A large plastic syringe was inserted and two large vials of my fluids were extracted. Then the nurses covered us up. Bre'Tal was upset at being used as a vessel. I held and comforted her. She said, you know I am growing attached to you and one day may have to leave. I said, we will face each day as it comes. The curtains were drawn and T'Lana was injected with my fluids. One half vial at a time. T'Lana knew what he was doing and loved him even more for it. Her Dax didn't understand. All he knew was what an extraordinary and intimate gift he was giving to help his host.

**The Lost Trill (Change and loss) Chap Six / Segment Three.**

The world of Trill is a very secretive and strange place. Star Fleet only recently worked out a deal to use their resort facilities and have an officer Liaison, living on planet. The Queen mistrusts them. I heard her say so to her husband. We shared mid day meal together.  
She asked my opinion of the earther's I looked at Yanas and said I agree with you. Humans are arrogant and nosy. What you have here is vital beyond preciousness and so easily misunderstood. Secrets that must be guarded at all costs. They must be limited and watched to be kept out of trouble. Their minds are small and will offend with too many of the wrong questions. Yanas smiled. She said, we think alike.  
But what of the Vulcan's I looked out the window to a distance very far away. I said I knew one. She was once everything to me. We melded so I know their minds and how they think. Looking down out the window I said their minds are larger and more orderly but as with the humans, I would not trust them too fully. They use their logic to inflate their sense of self worth and to justify many things no one else would.  
I have seen things here I have sworn never to tell a soul about. I have seen their worth and are growing attached to the love that lives inside this world. The peace only the oldest Symbiots can provide.

If I had a voice. The council would hear me say trust neither with very much and watch both very closely. Just then, with my back turned, I heard a voice that made me smile and my eyes glitter. T'Lana was being rolled to the table in her wheelchair. She said, I am sure my father will make sure your wise words are heard before the council. The thought of so many strangers on our world, does not sit very well with my Dax. Yanas saw the sparkle in both our eyes as we looked at each other and then turn away blushing. Bre'Tal was not amused but kept silent. I said you sound much stronger Dax.  
T'Lana said, I am stronger thanks to you. I said, you should try to eat some. It will help. He said Thank You. I will. It feels good to be with family again. I asked are you still finding it difficult to adjust to T'Lana's female body? T'Lana looked cross at me she said I'm here too Jarrod. Setting my fork down and backing away from the table. I said, you are right of course. I'm sorry all this is really new to me. I am very happy you are well and the harmony in your family is restored. I just...miss you.. Please excuse me. I need to meditate.  
I havn't for a while and need some time. Bre'Tal please stay and eat. I'm just going out to the gardens right outside. You can watch me from here very easily.

The room was quiet as I wheeled away and left the room. I went just outside staring out over the ocean I tried to fill my mind and ears with the scent of the flowers and the rushing of the waves. Inside, T'Lana stared at me through the window. Yanas and Jar'don stayed silent and continued to eat their meal. T'Lana set her fork down and pushed away from the table. She said, excuse me and wheeled herself out the front door to the gardens. Bre'Tal said its starting isn't it. The separation. Yanas wiped her mouth with her napkin, and said yes. Looking at Bre'Tal, she continued, I know you love him. You don't hide it very well child. Embarrassed, Bre'Tal looked away.  
Jar'don said whatever happens from now on is between those two. We cannot interfere. Yanas reached out and held Bre'Tals hand to comfort her. She said I'm sorry, all this is hard for you. Looking down at her plate Bre'Tal sighed, and said It's harder than I thought. I know my duty and I am sworn to do it. I can feel him. I feel him like no other I have ever counseled. He is so open inside. So willing to learn, be appreciative and accepting.  
The humans were savage to him His heart is ripped to shreds inside. Some times at night we talk. All he wants is a home.

He feels so lost and unwanted. I do all I can but I fear it will never be enough. Outside, I was watching the ocean as T'Lana wheeled up slowly behind me. She said nothing and stopped far enough back to not disturb my meditation. Saying nothing I reached my hand out behind me for hers. She wheeled up and just held mine in hers. My back dropped and I relaxed. I said, I have wanted to hold your hand for more than a month now. Dax said, I know T'Lana loves you. If I could Id reject this host and give her back to you but we've gone well past the 96 hour barrier. If we separate she will die. She showed me all your memories. I don't think you could take that. Not again. I said, I did everything asked of me and more. I love your host very deeply. I love T'Lana, but I don't know you and I'm trying so very hard too. Dax said, the love you two share is very strong.

I felt it that first day and knew this will be hard. In a few months, T'Lana and I must go to the Symbiot institute for training. Soon, she and I will share all my memories. I have seven lifetimes of memories and training to impart over to her. Your desire for each other is strong. She was much more than a simple union wasn't she. I said, I would die for her. I tried hard not to get to involved but it just happened. John's death broke her heart. You saw and felt everything by now. Come closer and link with me. Know me and help me to know you. T'Lana let go and wheeled up close. We linked and shared minds. Back inside, Bre'Tal asked, what are they doing? Are they are linking and shearing their minds? Yanas raised her eyebrows and said that was unexpected. Bre'Tal said, he must be seeking to love her Dax.

Sharing all that he is within him for understanding. Jar'don looked concerned but motioned all the servants for all to stay back. T'Lana rested her head lovingly on his shoulder. Yanas shed a single tear and let it run down her face. She looked at her husband and said; remember when we used to do that?

**The Lost Trill (Change and loss) Chap Six / Segment Four**.

Yanas and Jar'don watched as more than an hour went by with neither moving a muscle. Poor Bre'Tal was trying so hard. Then all of a sudden T'Lana lifted her head I turned and gave her a passionate kiss. We stared at each other. Even from inside Yanas gasped as she saw with her own eyes how deeply her daughter was in love.

In her mind Yanas told herself at least, I got to see this. Bre'Tal was about to leave and go back to my room and wait on me there. She was going to end her union with me. It was too painful to watch me show so much love for wasn't fair to her. but before she could rise up from the table we parted she wheeled off to her wing and over to her servants. I wheeled away over to my room I got about half way and just stopped and bent over with my face in my hands. A servant fearing I was injured in some way came over and looked. Hurriedly she ran over to the dinning area and said Miss Bre'Tal come Quick! All came running Bre'Tal was first to get there and knelt down, she was pulling my hands away from my face. I was shivering and sobbing uncontrollably. My eyes were blood shot and swelling. The doctor was called as the servants rushed me back to my room. Bre'Tal was near panicked. She gave me a towel and a warm wet washcloth. Jar'don said we are with you and will help you get past this trauma. Yanas was frightened. She had never seen such a reaction. Both were more than convinced of my love for their daughter. Bre'Tal said Its the Separation isn't it? Yanas said child I don't know.

He is so new to all of us everything is a first. came running and gave me sedative and went to go see about T'Lana. as he left he looked at Jar'Don and murmured I was afraid of this. Jar'don picked me up himself and Bre'Tal pulled back the covers. Jar'don set me on the bed and ran over to see about his daughter Bre'Tal climbed in with me Yanas pulled up the covers and blanket. After we were set she went after her husband but at a much slower pace. Shivering and sobbing the tears flowed like an open faucet. I cling to Bre'Tal tightly. She didn't know what to do. In desperation, she kissed me passionately. She did so several times. Finally, after several kisses I began to slow my shivering and the sedative began to take hold. Over in T'Lana's room, Tears were streaming down their daughters face. Dax said, she is screaming at me from inside. We have made a tragic mistake. I wish I could give her back to him, but I can't. It would kill her. She is terrified. So young. She was way too young for the conjoining.

He showed me everything. All his pain and sorrows. What kind of world is this earth to do such a thing. He saw his friend being violated and killed to protect him. His friend took his own life and he held him as he died. These people are savages. I showed him me. How I am. What I learned all seven lifetimes all of it he kept asking for more. Then when he found out they would be apart for two years at the institute T'Lana started screaming and he asked me to kill him. I had to promise both they would meet again. asked, Dax I need to administer a sedative your readings are way out of balance. Dax said, good idea, Sleep will be better. Calm all three down. gave T'Lana the shot. It took a few minutes but she calmed. Yanas cleaned her face with a wet washcloth. She leaned down and gave her daughter a kiss on her forehead. As she drifted off to sleep. Yanas turned to her husband and said Jar'don we did all this. We forced this on her and she wasn't ready. Yanas held her husband tightly and wept bitterly. For the first time in his life Jar'don was unsure, what to do.

**The Lost Trill (Separation) Chap Seven / Segment One.**

The whole house was quiet. Yesterdays upset has proven Conjoining is not always the answer. T'Lana sleeps in her bed. Outside the glass door, a man sits looking at her, thinking. Jarrod turns away as Bre'Tal comes over to check in on him. She hugged him tenderly and handed him the book he asked for. Both were tired from talking all night. Bre'Tal loved Jarrod. All could see it and Jarrod cared very much for her. But his love was for T'Lana. It was clear something had to be worked out between the three. Separating them would only insure the destruction of them all. Yanas looked at Jar'don as he watched. Yanas hugged him both knew she was sick and getting sicker. Their two sons Norvo and Jental were messaged that their sister was back and having a hard time with her conjoining. They are on their way home. Jar'don hoped they would make it back in time.  
Jar'Don said, I suppose somebody has to say something.

Yanas said, if they must separate they must choose to do so on their own. If we force them it will destroy them both. Jar'don poured a couple cups of coffee and went outside to meet with me. I heard his footsteps and he walked up. He smiled. I could tell he was trying to be understanding. He sat the coffee down and pulled up a chair. I closed the book and set it on the patio table. Bre'Tal started to step over but suddenly stopped and went back inside. Jar'Don said your union is very protective. How do you feel? I said, blushing some, I feel embarrassed. I never should have responded like that. T'Lana and I talked about all this before the conjoining. I turned the book around so Jar'Don could see the title. It said "Conjoining". Dax and I had a long talk when we linked. I let my human feelings get the better of me.

Shaking my head I've lost so much all at once, I just couldn't take it anymore. Jar'Don sat back and asked what do you mean? I said, all my family, my friend, my first wife and our baby. It just all got to me. Jar'Don said, No wonder. You're still grieving. You have been spending all you're time serving, helping, and loving others that you didn't take time out for yourself. I asked, how much time does Yanas have left. Jar'Dons smile vanished. He asked how the hell do you know about that. Swallowing some air I said Dax knows. When we linked I saw. I suspected on my own but Dax confirmed her heart is weakening. Jar'Don backed down. Calming himself as best he could he said six months. Maybe a year. Looking at Jar'Don I said, It's strange. So many important things to do.

You always get so busy, you tell yourself I have time and push back till tomorrow what you should do today. But then it happens. The cord is cut and there are no more tomorrows then the shock of it all hits you in the guts so hard you just double over and can't breathe. I have something to say and I don't want this to come off sounding improper or offensive. I am grateful to be alive and here and to know you and your wife the Queen. Back on earth all that is left of me and my life are an empty house and three graves. I spent the better part of a year working and walking around as little more than a machine than a man. Not thinking or feeling anything. Too afraid to reach out and care for another. Then I met T'Lin and started realizing, just how important family really is to a person's life, Yanas was listening as she walked up and sat down she said please continue.

I've come to realize how important all of you are to me. Humans toss around many words that are priceless as if they have no meaning at all. Ah, I started blushing and looked away I said, this is hard. Yanas reached and held my hand. I said, if I could design a family. A mother and father to be my very own. I would be hard pressed to find any other better than you two. I have lived alone a lot. T'Lana is lucky to have you. Yanas gave my hand a squeeze to reassure me. She said, you have never known acceptance have you. Shaking my head, No, never like this. Your world feels like an answer to a long lost ancient prayer. Yanas said it's your world now son. Jar'Don was choked with emotion Here he was about to talk to this man about his leaving his daughters life and finds himself now feeling like he was just given another son. He took a long sip of his hot coffee.

A servant brought Yanas some hot tea to sip. We talked about T'Lana and her brothers. Jar'Don said You won't have such an easy time winning over their hearts as you have ours. They are very protective of their younger sister. Looking out across the sea I murmured, Two years. It may not seem like a long time for you but inside it feels like an eternity. I said I was reading in this book. Conjoined mates rarely ever return to their mates after the blending. It says here two conjoined are to never return. To do so would mean banishment for both. Yanas said we know. I said, you two are banished? Yanas said I was. He was told he can never marry again or face banishment himself. Yanas said My Dax and I will die together. We have made our peace with it. It was felt at the time that his conjoining must continue to care for the minor children.

That was years ago. Now they may change their minds. Jar'don said even if they do, I don't care. I love my Yanas here. No other could ever replace her. Sipping my coffee. I said, I am learning the preciousness of loving the two of you. That was it Jar'Don took my hand and pulled me to my feet and gave me a big hug Yanas was soon after. They both said welcome to the family my son.

**The Lost Trill (Separation) Chap Seven / Segment Two.**

A week has passed the book Bre'Tal got for me over half read. My talks with T'Lana were supervised at first. We never tried the link again. I could feel us growing apart. Eight days ago one of my conversations was overheard. I knew I was being watched and had no misgivings about it. Long ago, I had made the decision to just be myself, errors, faults, and all. If they want to watch, let them see the real me. My body grows stronger buy the day. I walk around with a cane now. Slowly, beginning to feel whole again. I had nothing to hide. The Trill was unaccustomed to such open honesty. My talks with Jar'Don about the Human's and Vulcan's have nearly all been proven true. The Human's are arrogant and the Vulcan's not much better.  
They were quiet and orderly, but even he can see how untrustworthy they use their Logic. Admiral Nechaive came by to visit with me. He brought me some things of Johns. He was smart to bring them to me and no other. John was still an open painful wound for the Princess and upsetting her in this political climate would not be wise. Then he opened his case and showed me a Padd. irst, He said I have received word from the Vulcan High Command. You were heard accusing them of using their logic to justify killing your T'Lin's baby as some abomination. I said careful Admiral around here it seems the walls have eyes and ears and mouths that won't stay shut and mind their own business. The Admiral said, I see T'Lin is still a very sore wound for you. I said she was my wife and a Federation Citizen by my rite of marriage. Everything was legal and registered. I had to make sure. That Commander Pas'on has been sniffing around her for years. I'm sure he was the one that spirited her away while I was incapacitated.  
The Admiral said, I am here to inform you that a official complaint has been filed and the council wants to meet you in person about it. Bre'Tal heard and came out armed and said he goes nowhere with you. I said tread carefully Admiral. My dislike for the Vulcan's is eclipsed only by my hate for the Klingons.

I served honorably in all my business dealings. My ship and all mine and T'Lins personal belongings were destroyed with my ship. The Admiral said you really need to see this and he handed me the pad. I turned it over and gently laid it back in his case face down. Admiral, I know you are an honorable man. But if anybody is to talk to me about T'Lin it should be the Vulcan representative. They have had her for more than a year now and every attempt to contact her or get information about her condition was hindered. Since the subject and complaint involves the Vulcan's directly, logically speaking, it should be them speaking to me directly; The Admiral said now is when you should tread lightly Jarrod.

The door opened and the Vulcan representative stepped out and said Admiral, The man is correct in his application of Vulcan Logic. Indeed an error has taken place and an apology is warranted. He sat down with the Admiral. He said I asked the Admiral here to handle this because it was feared you would not believe me. I said this matter was handled improperly. I was not kept apprised, informed, or contacted in any way. I tried to contact you and your office over a dozen times. Each time I was given an endless excuse for not being able to talk to you. He leaned forward and said Jarrod, Whatever you believe of the Admiral or me I swear to you I know the pain of losing a child myself. I would never destroy an innocent unborn child. Star Fleet medical was present when the deceased child was removed and the reconstruction of your wife's organs was attempted.  
She was burned and in terrible pain.

When she was told of the child she broke her nurse's arm and stole a scalpel and tried to cut open her belly looking for the baby. She is kept in a facility for the dangerously insane. A few days ago, she broke free and tried to kill herself again. Our best doctors from Star Fleet and Vulcan have worked with her but her mind is fractured. The loss was too much for her, I said take me there. I want to see her for myself. Meld with me and show me your honesty. Let me see your memories. Leaning back out of reach, he said you can meld?  
Human's can't do this. I said, I am not a human. I kicked off my slipper and showed both my spots. By now they were up my ankles. Nechaive's eyes got real big. You see Admiral. John knew the truth. He was a true friend and respected my privacy.

I am both human and Trill. I am a hybrid blend of the two species. According to what my grandmother said, I am the only one who survived past the age of twelve. It's one of the reasons Star Fleet medicine was so ineffective on me, and why it took me twice as long to heal. The medical care my Trill people have given me has all but healed me. T'Lin and I first melded and mated with me during her final cycle of her Pon Far. Our first time, She imprinted the ability on my mind and we shared frequently. The Vulcan ambassador leaned forward looking at me he said Please, see what I saw and feel what I felt. Nechaive watched quietly. As my mind met his instead of a Vail like, T'Lin. There was a door. I opened it and walked into a room.

Wrapped up was the body of my baby. I went further back and saw the surgery. Half of T'Lins face was nearly burned off. I saw the admirals hard eyes carry the look of horror as he saw the body still inside T'Lin. The doctors were very gentle and respectful. I heard the chants and ancient rites being spoken in the background. After, I saw as T'Lin was holding the wrapped up doll as if it were her own child. I saw her eruptions of violence and the day she stole the scalpel. I saw how she had to be stunned by phaser fire and rushed back into surgery. I saw and I felt his sorrow hidden inside. I listened as he spoke with the senior doctors. Slowly I backed out of his mind. My hands trembling. In a very soft low voice the Vulcan said I am really sorry about all this. I couldn't look at him. My emotions were about to explode, with a voice graveled with restrained emotion. I said you will see to her needs? He said yes. And this Coleenar process with help her? He said Yes, I asked this other Vulcan will tend to all her needs? And care and protect her in the Vulcan way? He said Yes. Admiral the papers please. He handed me a folder it was all filled out. I saw all the pictures and signed the paper. I said, I will want to be kept informed. Admiral said, I will make sure of it. I am so sorry Jarod. The Vulcan stood and looked down at me. I looked up into his eyes so he could see my sincerity. Tell the council I officially apologize for the accusation. Had I been informed and kept apprised, properly, it would not have been made. The Ambassador said agreed. I grieve with you Jarrod. I said he will play with your daughter in the land of clouds. My words shook him He said Thank You. Bre'Tal came out after they left. I asked to be alone for a while.

Bre'Tal hugged me and went back inside. Jar'Don, Bre'Tal and Yanas were watching me but stayed back. T'Lana saw and asked about me to one of the servants. She walked out and pulled out a chair and sat in it holding my hand. She said nothing. After a very long time, being motionless, she let go of my hand and squeezed my shoulder as she walked back. I sat there alone for many hours. Jar'Don came out with a cup of coffee after sundown. I said, thank you and sipped on the cup. He said you ok? My hand was shaking I said no.

I just divorced my wife and released her medical care into another man's care. He asked what you need. I said, right now I really need a father to hold me. He reached over for me and I held him tight and sobbed like a child. He could feel my heart breaking all over again and said nothing. He just held me for a very long time. Yanas stayed indoors to keep away from the chill of the night. She cried for me. It was very late that night when Jar'Don helped me to my room. I whispered in his ear Thank You father. His heart broke as he let me go into Bre'Tal's arms. Bre'Tal was ready to help me in the bed and held me tightly as I went to sleep.

**The Lost Trill (Separation) Chap Seven / Segment Three.**

Another week went by. The sun was warm and inviting. I took off my shirt and stretched. My wounds healed now with barely a scar. My strength back as if I was never injured. T'Lana stole a peak and grinned like a Cheshire cat. Inside her Dax saw and he finally relented. He said to T'lana in her mind, you share yourself with me. I will share you with him. But soon we must go to the institute. You must start your training.

Dax sighed and said, I see now this is much more than love.  
Adversity brought you two together. I will not use adversity to tare you two apart. T'Lana watched as Bre'Tal came out in a tiny swim suit prancing about and diving into the pool. T'Lana saw me looking at her and felt a tug at her heart. She walked over. The sunlight shimmering over her skin. Her symbiot scar all but gone now she laid down in a lounge next to Jarrod as Bre'Tal swam. T'Lana said, I saw you just now. I asked what? T'Lana said, I saw you looking at Bre'Tal the way you look at me. I said take off that swim suit and come here naked and I will look at you very differently. T'Lana said Ha-Ha. Father would kill you. I said, I know.

I looked over at T'Lana and said that's how much I love you. You have but to ask. I would die for you. She said, for me or Dax. I didn't hesitate a second I said both. My answer shocked her. Even Dax was surprised. I rolled over and looked right at her, and said I finished the book on conjoining and I think I understand. Dax, you are a part of her now. So much it's hard to tell which is which. Dax I love your host and I am trying hard to put away my preconceptions and inadequate "Human" training's and learn to love you. I reached out my hand. Dax was shocked. T'Lana reached out and held his hand. Inside her, Dax felt the man that loved his host so much. In T'Lana's mind she saw him shed a tear. In an instant my mind was transported to a private pool in the lower caverns where only the symbiots live. T'Lana stood in front of me. She lowered herself under the water and her Dax surfaced.

He showed me his true form. I didn't pull away. I stood there in the water. Off in the distance two huge symbiots were looking on. Dax swam over to me. I sat down in the pool and gently held his real form in my hands. I heard his voice say this is me. This is me. This is who I am. Can you really love me and the others like me? I didn't look away. I gently took some water and poured it on him to keep him wet. He swam closer and I embraced him. The Gray white lightening flashed all around us. All I saw was him. I held him. I touched him I rolled him over and looked at him. He said you see me as I am. Different. Humans say ugly. I smiled and said Dax. I am not human. I am Trill. But even if I were. You are different yes, But no less beautiful. I leaned down and gave him a small kiss and let him swim back across the pond. T'Lana sat back up out the water and Dax went back inside her. It was just an instant to the outside world. Nobody noticed.

Dax said To T'Lana, This man you love is very special. I felt his love for us both. No other has ever tried. He just did it. He kissed me. He kissed the real me and I felt it. I believe him now. I felt his love. T'Lana was very shaken. I looked and watched her eyes sparkle and let her see mine. Smiling, I got up and dove in the pool. I swam over to Bre'Tal and splashed her. Laughing, she splashed back. T'Lana got up and jumped in with us splashing. We were all laughing and playing. Yanas was watching as Jar'Don walked up from behind and took her hand in his. Yanas was so happy. She had tears streaming down her face. She said, Look my husband its happening. All three of them are reaching acceptance.

Jar'Don said, That is good. Soon he must leave and take Bre'Tal with him. I just left the council. The Vulcan's have introducing new ideas and It seems our political aristocracy may be coming to an end. Yanas turned. Upset she said we must make plans. Keep our children safe. I...she grabbed her chest and went to the floor. Jar'Don scooped her up and whisked her off to her room and sent for the doctor. Outside, nobody knew and we played for a while longer. Then all three of us gathered floating together. T'Lana said, my time comes Jarrod. I must go start my training. I want you to take Bre'Tal and leave Trill. I want you to take her to wife. Settle down on Risa. She loves it there. Bre'Tal was shocked. T'Lana swam over and gave her a big passionate kiss. She whispered, I know you love each other. It's time for the separation to begin. I was very quiet. I looked at T'Lana and Bre'Tal. T'Lana said I will be happy knowing she will care for you. Love you and make a good home for you.

I said, I do love Bre'Tal. I love you both. Bre'Tal looked at T'Lana. She said, I will pledge my body and my life but I will not marry him. That honor is for you T'Lana. I'll admit I was very jealous at first. But I made my peace with this. I agree with leaving Trill. I spoke to the medical staff on Risa and they offered me a job. Jarrod, Bre'Tal said, I can never equal what lies between you and T'Lana but I will do all I can to bring you happiness. T'Lana said, what say you Jarrod. Jarrod wiped his tears away. I'd say to choose between you two is like choosing to pull down one star from the whole night sky. It can't be done. Bre'Tal swam over to me holding me she kissed me passionately. and then noticed some servants rushing about. T'Lana noticed next and called one over.  
The servant said it's your mother she collapsed.

We all scrambled out of the pool and dried off quickly. We all went running into the house and the doctor stepped outside mother's bedroom and calmed us down. He said slow down. Your mother is going to be all right for a little while longer. She got over excited and her heart skipped a beat. It's fine now but very T'Lana and I knew the truth. Her time was coming. We entered slowly and quietly. Jar'Don started to object but one squeeze of Yanas's hand silenced him. T'Lana came over and knelt down to kiss her mother she said child, stop worrying I will be with you always. I am so happy you three have reached acceptance. And Jarrod. I know when the time comes you will protect this family just as Jar'Don has done all his life. I reached over and held his hand. I said, I will with my life and Jar'don here protect all you hold dear and love.

She said, my eyes have seen the love you two share. It is glorious. I saw it first in the eyes of my husband. Now to see it in your eyes my dear. It fills me with joy. Now all of you go. Your dripping all over the floor. I will be fine. I just have to take it easy from now on. I leaned down and gave Yanas a gentle kiss on her forehead and whispered in her ear for her alone. "Mother I love you". Her eyes sparkled and mine did as well. We left and T'Lana went to her room to prepare for the separation to come. I asked Bre'Tal to pack our things. And said I'm going down to the beach to walk and meditate. I had done this before so she suspected nothing.

**The Lost Trill (Separation) Chap Seven / Segment Four.**

I gave Bre'Tal a big passionate kiss. Hiding my intentions, I went back outside and calmly walked down the back stairs to the beach. I knew where the cave opening lead to the ocean. I went inside and followed down an ancient walkway. Suddenly, The entire cave mouth was covered in Gray lightening. It shimmered and sparkled like a force field. I closed my eyes and walked right through it completely unhurt and unharmed. I saw off in the distance the pool Dax had shown my mind. I followed the long and winding, narrow little pathway to the pool. I took off my shoes and clothes.  
Naked, I stepped into the pool and knelt down. The entire cavern instantly filled with Gray lightening. It danced across the water and hit me in my chest. Two more bolts hit my back. An old man walked over to the pool and touched the bolt of lightening and the power surge died down.  
He said, no one comes here. This place belongs to the oldest and wisest of us all. Have you come here to die? To sacrifice your body to us? I said NO, another of our people is nearing death. She is well loved, cared for and very much needed by her family. The man said The Queen dies? I said soon. He said, she has made her choice. She knew the consequences of returning to her past love. Banishment is the only way. She was warned and made her choice. I said and you have made yours. My tears fell like rain. She dared to love. Not out of arrogance or disobedience. She loved a Dax. And a beautiful family was made. If she must die then so be it. I plead for the family love made. It carries no price and brought much healing and joy to many including myself.

The man asked what do you want man of two worlds? I said is not love the secret of all things? What binds us all together and gives us purpose? If you want a life. Take mine. Let the Queen live. I ask for the Tezerax. The bonding. The infusion of the love we all live upon. Wise ones grant the Queen more time to care for her family. The man said this has never been asked for in over thirty thousand years. It will bond you to the Queen and her family forever. You will share in her banishment. Live and die alone. You who thirst for love as a flower dying in dry land are willing to make such a sacrifice? We have felt your tears and know your sorrow. Are you sure of this? I said Yes. More bolts of energy bounced around from symbiot to symbiot both large and small they were speaking to each other for a long time.  
Up in my room as Bre'Tal Packed she saw I had a place mark in the book on conjoining. Curious, she opened it. Screamed and ran over to T'Lana's room and showed her. She said, he's gone for the Tezerax. Jar'Don came and Bre'Tal showed him. Jar'Don turned stone white saying if he has done this he will die. He is still half human. One side cannot live without the other. The Tezerax ceremony will kill down in the pool, the energy bursts suddenly stopped. The old man said. Today you have shown us your heart is Trill. You may be of two worlds but your heart is of here and this pleases us greatly. You walk a great path and risk death to bring the love all of Trill has thirsted for. Many more of my tears fell into the symbiot pool. The man said your tears of sorrow will know tears of joy. The Banishment of Queen Yanas remains. It is our law. However, we will allow her and her host more time.

We will bond her spirit to her daughter. She will be her adviser, healer, and protector. Remain inside her body with her Dax forever till the host dies. Then both will cross over. I said all will be as you have said. The man said this will hurt a lot. You will carry our energy inside you. Your Human side may cause you to die. I held my arms out from my sides and said do with me as you will. I will trust in the Trill heart of love that beats within. Back at the house Jar'Don heard a noise and opened the sliding door. He heard my screams as the power of the Tezerax flowed through my body. I screamed with each bolt that hit me. My body began to glow with energy.

My eyes were like fire. After the energy bolts stopped I looked at my arms and hands. They were glowing blue. The old man said, leave this place and do not return. I bowed to him and the Symbiots, dressed and began my walk. Bre'Tal ran down to the beach. She could not believe her eyes. Scrambling in the sand, to regain her footing, Bre'Tal ran back up the steps she ran back saying, He comes. The Tezerax comes. All the servants scrambled to open all the doors so his way would not be hindered.

The night sky sparked with the energy discharges. I walked as if in a dream, my head filled with direct orders to fill out. Everybody in the house scrambled to leave. Servants ran out in the yard and dropped to their knees and cover their heads and hid their faces from the Tezerax. T'Lana was terrified at what the Tezerax had turned me into. I offered her my hand and she swallowed hard. Believing in our love alone she took my hand and felt the power that surged through my body. Her eyes also became as flame as we walked together into the house.

The power breakers all flipped and bulbs blew out all over the house. Bolts of energy bounced all across the room as we walked in. Yanas was very frightened. Jar'Don put himself in-between us to protect her. The energy bolts shocked him and forced him to the floor. T'Lana touched his chest and all his fear and panic melted away. Never had he seen his daughter surrounded with so much power. My love was protecting her. I placed my right hand on T'Lana's chest and my left hand upon Yanas's chest. She spasm-ed with the sudden shock but quickly calmed.

Power surged through all three of us Yanas began to glow blue. Her face changed to a younger version of herself.

Her breathing stopped being labored and became strong again. Yanas's eyes were on fire with tremendous sparkles T'Lana held out her right hand in front of my left and we slowly drew them closer together focusing all the energy bolts into a blue energy ball. With both our hands we pushed the energy ball inside Yanas. Suddenly, the cascade of energy bolts stopped. T'Lana passed out over her mother's legs I fell backwards upon the carpeted floor. All three of us were steaming from the massive energy exchange. It was a full twenty minutes before any dared ventured to move. All the walls inside Yanas's room were scared and burnt black with energy burns. It looked as if a war had been played out in that room, indeed all over the house. The doctor came running. Quickly he started scanning.

None of his readings made any sense. They were all normal but steam was rising off of everybody, literally as if rising from nowhere. Yanas was the first to start coming back around. The doctor looked at her totally frightened to even touch her. Her eyes were all sparkly again as they were in her youth. He scanned her. Her heart is still damaged but it is as if someone reached inside her and turned time backwards. Her body was strong again. Many scars she had from child birth were gone. Jar'Don stirred and shook his head. He saw his wife standing over him. Her eyes twinkling as the stars in the night sky.

He rose up slowly and without a word, Yanas kissed her husband with a passion both thought was long gone and never would come again. T'Lana opened her sparkling eyes and just looked at me. Laying there on the floor all covered in dirt and suit from burnt skin, she leaned over in front of everybody and kissed me. I cradled her in my arms and kissed her back. T'Lana went back to sleep and her father scooped her up. As he stood to leave he stopped turned and handed his daughter over into my arms. He said, Take her. She is yours now. Forever bonded in the Tezerax. T'Lana snuggled up in my arms her Dax remembering everything, he woke her up saying. You risked death to save us all. There is no greater love.

Both went to sleep and I carried her back to her room to rest. The servants all started to stir and slowly go back to their duties. Bre'Tal walked up to me her eyes searching for love. I gave her a kiss that would light the fire of our passions for the rest of the night. Her eyes sparkled along with mine. She took and bathed me her eyes memorizing every muscle and curve of my body.

Our moans and passions competed with those of Yanas and her husband. For the first time in years he had taken her to his room bathed her body and made love to her with the passions of youth. Adversity and age had tried to take love from this house and failed. T'Lana slept with blissful rest. Her heart comforted by the love restored to this house. Little did she know more love was yet to come.

**The Lost Trill (Goodbyes) Chap Eight / Segment One.**

Sitting outside in the sun as the servants were working all around. Many stole glances and feared me. I just smiled. Trill people have always believed differently than all the other lifeforms Star Fleet has discovered. Because of the conjoining, many gender barriers were pulled down. My "Human" side would view this as a perversion, but my Trill self see's only the love expressed. Many of their island resorts on Trill tailor to the sexual needs of their visitors, much the same way it is done on Risa, but here everything is vastly different.  
On Risa once pleasure is achieved most go their separate ways. Here, a young male or female aged before 25 uses the bio fluid exchange as protean fuel to be absorbed and used for strength and beauty to their bodies. Their spots are attached in many ways like an external Dax. Nerve endings to stimulate the body for all things. After 25 things get dicey as Trills go through a change and their systems take on a new use they call replication. "Humans" call it pregnancy.  
On rare occasions a "Human male may impregnate a female but the replication rarely ever lives past the first trimester and is absorbed back into the body. All Trills, especially Conjoined ones have one serious problem.

They can die of rapid poison contamination from histamine shock. If they get stung, they stand a better than 80 percent chance of death of both host and Dax in minutes. Most carry something similar to what 21st century "Humans" call an EPI Pen to ward off shock at least in time to remove the Dax before the host dies. But for the host a sting means a painful death unless euthanized by the Dax removal.  
Conjoined hosts become dependent on a antihistamine secreted by the Dax to ward of antibody rejection of their organism. A Dax can be implanted and later removed during the first 96 hours of conjoining. After that, removal means death to the host.

The people are all dedicated to a peaceful loving existence and have for centuries, adapted to the implantation of Dax and Host. They call Conjoining. It brings many powers strengths and knowledge to both. Many Dax's share the knowledge of many lifetimes to increase the wisdom, skills and training's of the host.

**The Lost Trill (Goodbyes) Chap Eight / Segment Two.**

Because of conjoining, many have become counselors for Star Fleet and travel the stars with their Dax's, learning vasts amounts of all begins here with T'Lana. Her Dax has many lifetimes to impart to her. As time passes, she will age at a much slower rate. Ruffly six month's to a years passage of time. And for it all to begin, I must leave. Today was to be that day. Many throw a party and all celebrate the coming of age for the Conjoined host and Dax. The servants busied themselves.The painters were inside cleaning up my mess. Electricians checking circuits bulbs and hidden wiring. I chose for our celebration a private gathering of Family. Jar'Don came out and knelt before me. I said, please none of this. We are all family now. Bonded by more than the Tezerax but by the love we all share. Jar'Don embraced me gently. He whispered you risked your life to give mine back to my heart. I will love you forever.

Yanas walked out her legs strong and sexy now. Her eyes sparkling with unbridled love. We embraced and she kissed me passionately. She said I cannot tell you how much all this has meant for me. I said, Father, Mother please sit. I was told by the wise ones that Yanas here was given another year to see about, and care, for the needs of her family. After that, Yanas you and your Dax will perish together. The blue energy ball T'Lana and I put inside you will leave with your spirit inside it and go into T'Lana. You will become her spirit guide till the day she and her Dax dies. Then all four of you will cross over.

That will be a great many years from now. But, you only have one year's time to spend with all those who love you. Jar'Don, you are still allowed conjoining, to continue to protect and council T'Lana, and her brothers. She said, How can I thank you for all this. I said, you both already have. You and Trill loved and accepted me when no other would. I feel at home now. Yanas, I will not be back to see you leave your host.  
I swear to you I will find T'Lana and You and Jar'Don will she her marry. I meant what I said when I whispered in your ear. I do love you. Jar'Don, we will see each other again. Our journey together, is just beginning. Bre'Tal stuck her head out the door and smiled. Snickering I called her over. We all hugged and gathered together and beamed over to the Habooshion baths, to a party of just family. I told Yanas I'm sorry I must leave before Janel and Norvo return. Yanas said you gave me the time to see them again. I will love you forever for this. We spent the day warming ourselves in the sun and cooling our bodies in the bath waters. Even the doctor came up and joined us for a few moments. T'Lana and I laughed kissed and played. Jar'Don and Yanas had a tent on one side of the plaza. Soon they were doing some playing of their own along with a couple of pleasure girls. We laughed and ate and drank to our hearts content. Bre'Tal, T'Lana and I sharing with no guilt or jealousy at all. Bre'Tal was rubbing my back and a pleasure girl was rubbing T'Lana's back all of a sudden T'Lanas friend left and Bre'Tal went back outside swimming.

T'Lana crawled over on my back and rubbed me. I turned over and kissed her with all the passion I held in my heart. We merged and shared our love. We used our gifts to reach inside each other and feel all the passions our bodies shared. She said in my mind soon I must say good bye my love. But for now let us hold and union with each other. We shared and shared. Her moans were competing with mine. Finally exhaustion took us both. At least I thought so. T'Lana had put something in my drink. Bre'Tal and I awoke at dusk and everybody was gone. My heart was trying hard to tell me what my mind would not hear. T'Lana was gone. The separation now completed. It was time to go. I suppose it was believed to be easier on me but it wasn't. Gone now, but a few hours and my arms ached to hold her again. Bre'Tal held me and tried hard to comfort me. I cried and cried. shivering with sorrow as she held and rocked my body. An hour or so later it was full dark. We dressed and beamed back to the house.

When we arrived a servant handed me a pouch filled with travel papers, my medical records my grand mothers letter some money for me and also a pouch for Bre'Tal. Then, as I turned to show Bre'Tal the servant beamed away and we were left all alone in a completely empty house. While we had celebrated the servants had packed up everything.  
I walked through the empty house. A house now just as empty as my heart. I looked at Bre'Tal and a big tear fell from my face she ran over and hugged me. She whispered They thought it would be better this way. They moved to their summer home and T'Lana went to the institute. We went to our room and got our bags. I pulled out an envelope and the book on Conjoining and placed the letter inside it.  
We walked in to the living room and I kissed the book and placed it on the fireplace hearth for her to see. We walked through again and closed the doors behind us. I looked around at the patio and pool we all shared. I was sad but for the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone anymore. Trill and her people had opened their hearts, loved and accepted me. At last, I know where I belong. No matter where we travel. I have a home. I pulled out the communicator that was in the pouch and signaled the transport, Two to beam up. We beamed to the transport waiting on us and began our journey to Risa. Our bags taken to our state room I sat down on the bed. Bre'Tal and I said nothing. She just sat beside me and held me. It was very late that night when sleep finally took us both.

**The Lost Trill (Goodbyes) Chap Eight / Segment Three.**

I walked up to the bridge of the transport and said please display reverse angle I want to see trill one last time. The captain looked at me. He was the same man that brought T'Lana and me to Trill. I was no longer the same man who came here. Healed on the outside but very much broken on the inside. I watched the viewer as Trill slowly became smaller and smaller. This time though the lines of sorrow were plain for all to see A big tear fell from my face and stained my uniform top with its wetness. He placed his warm hand on my shoulder and squeezed me. I whispered to him.  
Please, captain, Kill me I can't take this kind of pain anymore I've lost too many. said good buy too many times. Kill me so the pain will stop. The sincerity of my words shook him greatly. He said come with me, and led me to his ready room. We sat down. He picked up a tall glass flask of something blue and poured two glasses. He handed me one and said trust me on this. It's strong, just sip it. I took a sip and quickly found out he wasn't lying.  
He walked over and sat down behind his desk. I just stared at my drink. He said, I know what you are going through.

I felt it myself some 19 years ago. We were young and hardly knew what we were doing. I will always remember her touch, and scent. How she felt both on the outside and inside. This will take time Jarod. She told me to talk to you. Explain why things had to be this way. I said I read the book on conjoining. He leaned forward and said their are many things not written in books Jarod. Things like the days and nights that come after separation. Its real name is "The Taring of Souls" Jarod she is feeling everything you are feeling right now and its breaking her heart to do it. I asked then why do it at all. I would have stayed out of the way.  
The Captain said then she would never had finished the training and travel as her Dax wants too. Jarrod when you and her had your first union she gave you something very special. She gave you a piece of her spirit so you can always be together. None of this will make sense right now. Not much will. I sipped on my drink and asked if its not too personal, Why did you two separate. He leaned back and let out a big sigh. Taking another sip. he said Jarrod for any other man I would say it's too personal. but I saw her eyes sparkle when she held your hand and looked in yours. I got her eyes to sparkle but never like that.

I wanted to marry her so she wouldn't want to be conjoined. Marry her and settle down and raise a family. She was young and wanted adventure. She left me and went with that Admiral. I had almost convinced her to marry me when he came around. I took another sip and said her and John were in love. He said I know but not like she is with you. He took another sip and said she gave you her heart my friend. She loves you deeply and is feeling the separation badly by now. I know Bre'Tal loves you too. You will see T'Lana again. It may be many years later but when you do. It will feel as if no time has passed at all. I guess you have discovered, we Trills are different. I said, I am Trill. The Captain choked on his drink. I pulled up my pants leg and showed him. I said the spots didn't start to show till after my first union with T'Lana. They only go up to my knees. I keep them covered to avoid questions. I am a hybrid blend of both Human and Trill.  
The captain coughed and took a sip of water to calm his throat. He said you really are a man of two worlds. Finishing my drink I set my glass down on his desk and said, Not any more. I have rejected my Human heritage and claim Trill as my homeworld now.

On Earth there is nothing left but an empty house and three graves. That and a whole bunch of memories I never want to ever recall ever again. The bullying, Badgering, Assaults and other forms of social terrorism. Human's. The very word turns my stomach now. The captain finished his drink and said they seem to have no end to their level of arrogance. I said Agreed. he said You're going to see a lot of them on Risa. we should be there by noon tomorrow. I said great. Bre'Tal will have her new job and I will sit at home and contemplate what I must do with the rest of my life. Standing I said Thank You for listening and for the drink. He said, any time my brother. His words comforted my heart as I walked back to my state room and to Bre'Tal.

**The Lost Trill (Goodbyes) Chap Eight / Segment Four.**

At their summer home, T'Lana stands on the beach and stars out to sea. Yanas said, she cries for him. It's as if both are knit together. Dax tells me he is at his wits end over her. He says she screams at him. Blames him for losing the man she loves. Every night it's the same thing. He is trying to be understanding but call it love or whatever else you want she has it bad. Jar'Don said It was the only way. To make both say goodbyes to each other would have killed both. You saw what he did for you. How far he would go to prove his love for another. Yanas said he convinced me with the Tezerax. No other I know of has ever gone of his or hers own free will to the deep caves. I thought about going myself when the time comes but I am too afraid of the large ones.

Jar'Don said we chose love over conjoining and look what it costs us. I can't let that happen to our beautiful T'Lana. Dax has told me when she sleeps she dreams of him. She must continue her training and prove herself a worthy host or Dax will ask to leave and let her die.  
Suddenly T'Lana shimmered away. Yanas turned and looked at Jar'Don and said she has left us again. Jar'Don said Calm yourself. I know where she went. The patio was dark and leaves all wind swept around. The house all shut down and empty. She stood there and looked all around. T'Lana walked over to my old apartment and opened the door.  
She could still smell my scent. Even faint it fogged her mind. She walked through the house and then in the living room she saw the book I had left for her she pressed the book to her chest and dropped to her knees sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs.  
Outside Jar'Don shimmered over and heard her and came running. Laying there all crumpled up on the floor he ran to her. She screamed no let me go. Let me die. She took the letter out of the book and threw it at her father and screamed DAMN YOU ! For talking me into all this. Look around. He's gone and I will never see him again. T'Lana's words seized his heart like a fist squeezing the life out of it. He knelt down and held her she screamed out go away and let me die. What good is all this if all it brings is pain ! He had never seen T'Lana like this before. He took the letter and she snatched it back from his hands. Screaming again DAM YOU! For making him go away. Jar'Don said it's not our way. He couldn't stay. She screamed at him Way's Change. Look at you. You're not even a King anymore!

Finally he lost his temper and screamed back at his daughter. He slammed his fist saying NO ! Damn It ! I'm not the King anymore. And your mother is not the Queen. But I am still your father and you will sit here and listen! He took the letter and opened it. He said, my love by the time you get this we will be separate. I don't know how much pain your Dax can shield you from. I have no Dax. It terrifies me to be away but I know it's important. My arms ache to hold you but you must continue the training. My heart grieves not seeing you. But I know we will see each other again. I can feel you inside my soul. Endure the pain. Take the training. If you don't then all would have been for nothing. My love for you will not end. Not now. Not Ever. You're Father, Mother and I have made our share of mistakes and bad choices but I thank the Gods, he and your mother had you. Don't blame them. Don't hate them. Now or ever. I had no mother or father till I came here. I leave with their love in my heart.

A love that will guide me back to you. I told them once that if I could design a family for my very own I would be hard pressed to find any better than the Father and Mother you have. Truth is in all the ways that count. Your parents became mine in my heart and will be there forever. Love them and hold on tight. Let them hold you. Let them love you. You need to remember, you won't have that love for very long. No one ever does. I took a picture of you and them with me. I will look at it often because for the first time I can say I have a family. I have love.. T'Lana looked up at her Father. He was crying himself. All he could say was I miss him too..

They beamed back home and sat down with Her Mother. Yanas was upset but not nearly as upset as Jar'Don. He handed her the letter and all sat together and held each other crying.

**The Lost Trill (Alone) Chap Nine / Segment One.**

We have been a week here on Risa and guess who I found. My old buddy from the Academy. Trank. Then I heard my old Andorian beauty,Trina,whom I used to play with, got washed out for of all things, fighting I thought Them dead with all the rest. What's worse he told me they erected a statue of me and Jinko in the main courtyard, outside my old dorm. They added more sensors. And several places where a person can go and file a report of bullying anonymously. I couldn't believe it. Jinko would be so embarrassed. His people shied away from such popularity. I cared little about the affairs on Earth. Those two are a recipe for trouble. You add drinking and just about anything could happen and usually did. I was laying out on the beach with Bre'Tal when Trina Walked up. I almost choked on my drink from surprise. She took a job on a freighter till she found out the captain wanted more than just a shipmate. Finally she ditched him here on Risa.

Bre'Tal was immediately jealous of her and stayed glued to me at all times. I explained to Trina and Trank that I was through with hauling for a while and settling down with Bre'Tal here. Her eyes flashed like a plasma flair. Trina said somebody hurt you bad didn't they. I heard the stories about you out beyond the badlands near the klingon and Romulan border getting all shot up. I said, They blew up my ship right out from under me. T'Lin and I were burned and messed up bad. Trina said, You met a woman? I sat back and looked at Bre'Tal. She smiled and said It's ok to talk about her. She was a big part of your life. I said, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Trank asked ok who the hell are you and where is my friend Jarrod. I sighed and said Love found me. Both then and now with Bre'Tal.

Sorry guys, I'm not the wild child I used to be. Losing T'Lin almost did me in. she was a young Vulcan woman. She was pregnant with my daughter. During the fight we took a shot to the bridge. The rapid pressure loss threw us against the Bridge science station.  
It crushed the baby and we both were burned real bad. She went back to Vulcan. When she found out about her baby she went insane. They have her in an institution. I took a drink and my hand started to shake. Trina and I go way back to our first days at the Academy.  
She gently held my hand and said I'm so sorry Jarrod. I said, I went to Trill for over a year. Trank asked why would you leave here and go there. Trina was taking a drink and lost it when I said because I am Tril. She said WHAT ! I pulled my pants leg up and they saw my spots. Trina said that's why you were such a hot shot in class. I heard Trills are smart. I looked at Bre'Tal and held her hand. Smiling, I said they sure are. Trina gave me a wicked grin. So you and Bre'Tal here? Smiling I said yes, Me and Bre'Tal. Trank said I hear Starfleet owes you big time for helping them win the war with the Klingons. I said they didn't win. it was an armistice. Basically a fancy word for saying we are not going to kill each other right now. But, you're right. Those Pajama wearing bastards do owe me. I like it here with my union. Trina said she is your wife?

Smiling I said it's complicated. Trina asked can they do that thing you do? Blushing, I took a drink. Bre'Tal took the lead and said You mean sharing each other's thoughts and feelings during sex? I choked on my drink. Bre'Tal snickered, she looked at Trina. We have shared all of each others thoughts. Even the ones about you and him in a forest. I blushed again and said Bre'Tal ! Please ! She snickered and said well she asked? I stood up and stepped over to the lounge chairs. I sat down on the edge to finish my drink and blushed some more. Bre'Tal said, He loved his wife very much. I was his counselor here at the medical center where I work now. It ripped him up inside pretty bad. He is adjusting but many nights I wake up to him still crying for her. Trina said I like you. I can hear your love for him in your voice. Trina asked, you have one of those things inside you? I walked back over and said Trina, That thing is a Dax and she has one and I have talked to it. Bre'Tal took a step back. She asked when? How?. I said a few nights ago while you slept. She woke me up.

She told me she is very proud of you and she also told me some interesting things about your past that you hide from my thoughts.  
Bre'Tal fidgeted and blushed. I snickered as she blushed and stepped into her embrace and in front of both Trank and Trina I gave Bre'Tal a very passionate kiss. Trina whistled and we both blushed. She said, so much for any chance I may have had. I shrugged, and said sorry Trina but I am Taken. Bre'Tal smiled and said "Good Answer".  
Trina said well its getting dark and the club will be opening soon. I'm going to go do some man fishing and see what I can catch. Trank said I'm going to get one of those weird statues and see what I can find for the evening. Trina snarled at him saying "Dirty old man", come on. Trina said bye for now. We will catch up with you later. After they left, I looked at Bre'Tal and said Thanks for that.  
She said anytime. You still... I said yes. It's like an image lazer etched in the back of my brain. I still think of her. Bra'Tal said It's going to take time Jarrod. You know I will be anything you need when you need it. I snuggled up close and gave her a smooch. I said you are all that and a whole lot more. We went back to our Apartment and made a bubble bath.

I said stand right there and close your eyes. I ran my hand up her leg and under her sun dress, pressing some well hidden spots. She gasped and moaned I lifted her dress up over her head and gently caressed the curves of her body contours. She moaned again. I scooped her up in my arms and walked in the tub clothes and all. She snickered wickedly as the wet made my clothes stick to my body.  
It wasn't long before they went flying and we merged into one very foggy and steamy entanglement. We rested and soaked in the steamy tub. She bathed my body touching and fondling me. It wasn't long before we were off to passion land again. Holding and rocking with every crest and fall. She was a woman on a mission to make me forget for a while and she was very good at it.

**The Lost Trill (Alone) Chap Nine / Segment Two.**

Its been a month now on my stay on Risa. As pleasurable as this planet is, after a while it gets boring. Last night Bre'Tal woke up. I was sitting on the edge of the bed. I whispered go back to sleep. You have work in a few hours. I'm ok. One look could tell that was a lie. She slid over and hugged me from behind. The warmth of her body felt so good to me. She asked is it the same dream again. I said yes, I can't shake it. Bre'Tal said you miss her. It's only been a month.  
I let out a sigh, its more than just missing T'Lana. I miss Trill. I miss the singing of the symbiots and how it would sooth my mind. I miss my new Father and Mother. All this is a lot harder than I thought. It would be impossible without you though. I turned around, and held her hand. Bre'Tal, I want to go see the Vulcan counselor for the Federation. I want to ask him to erase my memories.

Everything about T'Lana. It's not fair to you. I feel the warmth of your love everytime I look into your eyes and feel your touch. Bre'Tal its not right being with you and loving another woman. It's not fair to you. Watching her eyes, I said I do love you. and you deserve all of me. Not just a part of me. I want you happy. Big tears fell from her eyes. Jarrod, You don't know how much it means for me to hear you say those words. I do love you. But I can't take you away from her. She is going through pure hell right now. learning about her Dax and fighting sorrow. For her the loneliness is maddening. She knows if the Dax leaves, She will die. And I am sure she has been considering it. You Two, are bonded in the Tezerax now as two souls in one body. Much as I am with me being here with my Dax. I love her and she loves me. She tells me that everytime we union it brings her joy. Jarrod, this separation will end. Our union will end. After this I plan to go back to the symbiot pools and return my Dax.

I said you will die. She said, my host will die but all that is me will live on in another host many years later. She smiled next time maybe I will be a man and get to union as you do. Don't be frightened or sad. It only hurts for a moment then after the separation I am free to float and swim to my heart's content. The host will feel nothing. Her body will just stop and be consumed by Trill. I feel your love. My host's body yearns for your touch almost as much as I do. Smiling, when we union do I make love to the host or the Dax? Bre'Tal grinned wickedly, her eyes sparkled in the dark. She said, we take turns. Sometimes it's , I do not understand. Smiling wickedly, she slid down under the covers and I gasped. She said you understand much more than you let on.

You honor me with your offer. She went back to making me gasp some more. After, we held each other and slept...Back on Trill, Jar'Don and Yanas was having a family meeting with T'Lana...  
Jar'Don said, I have here a report on your progress at the institute. T'Lana frowned but stayed silent. Dax tells me you have stopped yelling at him but you are just going through the motions. You still harbor real anger and resentment against him and us. T'Lana said you know why. Look I stopped pitching fits and sobbing and screaming at everybody. I thought you would be happy. I am doing my work, and following this things order like a good little robot. Yanas said honey it's a Dax and its part of you now. T'Lana said, Mother I love you. But this is and always will be just a thing that I was talked into taking and now forced to keep because I would die otherwise. I hate it. I resent it. I never wanted it. I was young, burned and in terrible pain. You two got what you wanted. I got my Dax. Sure its really smart but it's a male and I am a woman deeply in love and it doesn't understand anything about being a woman. All it wants me to do is follow orders. Well I'm following the orders. You say you love your Dax. You and Father both love your Dax's, well I don't. To me it's a monster inside me that doesn't know the first thing about how to treat a woman. Sure it can walk and talk. Make me pee and crap. It knows how to bathe my body and comb my hair but it doesn't know me. I don't know when this Dax was ever a woman but it must have been a very long time ago cause he seems to have forgotten everything about what a woman really is all about.

Jar'Don said it looks like your Dax did learn one thing about you. I said what Father. He said how to be stubborn. Child he is not in you to dominate your life but add to it. Provide moments to cherish. Maybe a new friend will help remind you both. T'Lana you remember little T'Pol. How would you like it if she came to live with us. T'Lana perked up. What happened father. He said Sadly, her father was killed in a transporter accident and her Mother has been recalled back to Vulcan. You and her were born on the same day in the same hospital. I made friends with her and her family as I came to visit you and your mother. She doesn't want her daughter to be raised in the Vulcan way. She has abilities and talents but needs love and care. Father are you adopting her? He said yes. You're Mother and I have talked about this and are not of like mind but there is no more time for discussion she will be arriving tomorrow. Maybe being a sister to her will help you and your Dax rediscover what it's like to be a girl again.

T'Lana thought, At least I may be a bit less lonley. I will try Father. She got up to leave. After T'Lana left, Yanas was not pleased. She said what you have done is foolish. She needs to be here with us and concentrate on her studies. That girl is a Vulcan, she should be with her own people. Jar'Don stood because he was angry. He snarled, Look at yourself. All about books and knowledge always studying. Always having your nose stuck in some book. Your Dax may be the smart one. But it's dumb as a post when it comes to real life. That Vulcan, is just a very frightened little girl in great need of being loved. It tore her to pieces when her father died.

He was a good friend. You heard her. Her Dax is acting like a man. He needs to romance her, Sing to her. The way my Dax sings to your Dax. Yanas said, and what if this Vulcan girl wants to union with our daughter. Jar'Don said,If it happens it happens. Maybe that is what is needed to remind Dax about being a woman again. My Love, All I know is we must try. Her and her Dax act as if they both have drawn a line in the sand and each are too stubborn to realize the joys of unity. T'Lana must learn to love her Dax. He needs to romance her. Bre'Tal said she and her unioned and she liked it. They shared many things. Maybe a union with T'Pol will be what she needs. Yanas said she needs her Jarrod. I miss him too. It still confuses me as to why he did the Tezerax with us. Dar'Don said he did it because he loves us and we love him. He bowed and offered Yanas his hand and said speaking of unity, I seem to remember a certain beautiful woman who wanted somebody to scrub her back for her. Giggling, Yanas said, you always could make me laugh.

**The Lost Trill (Alone) Chap Nine / Segment Three.**

The next morning was warm. It was a saturday. T'Lana stayed in her room listening to Dax. He heard my words with father and was trying to apologize for being so pushy. He even tried to sing to me. T'Lana just sat there and snickered he was so bad at it it made her laugh.  
Finally, T'Lana told him to give it up you can't sing, but thanks for trying. He said, I dont expect you to love me. But I would like for us to try to be friends. I said look, I don't like you and I don't want you, but I wasn't given a choice. I stopped yelling and I'm doing my lessons. I'm trying to be a good little girl. But you are as bad at being a woman as you are at singing. Dax said, It's only been what, a month now. Give it time. Then Dax said something that shocked T'Lana. inside her he appeared in his male avatar inside her mind. He said All right, I give up. Your right it's been three lifetimes ago and I forgot. Teach me. Help me to learn again. T'Lana said you're supposed to be the smart one. Inside her head he snickered and said who the hell told you that? T'Lana this whole odyssey we have together is as much an adventure into the unknown for me, as it is for you.

T'Lana said, first off, this avatar you created in my mind is wrong. It should be a female. T'Lana asked didn't you ever union with a female? He said, well, ah, yes, but it didn't end well. I was rejected. T'Lana said Oh. Sorry about that.

Use that memory to recreate yourself as a woman.  
Dax said that was a long time ago. T'Lana said, ok, and got up put her lesson book away and went into the shower. T'Lana took off her sun dress and hung it up on the clothes hook and stood in front to the full size mirror. Dax looked away. T'Lana asked are you shy? Blushing, Dax said yes. T'Lana said, look at my body. look at its size, shape, contours, and colors. Look at my spots. Feel them. Now step back and look at me. Look at my body and recreate an avatar version of me. Her vision changed and Dax looked at it. He said it feels so different. That is because you got too used to the feelings and senses of a male. We girls are very different. Were Softer, silkier more sensitive to touch. To being touched. T'Lana reached down and showed her lady parts.

See, there is more than one use for this than Peeing. There is also pleasure, For myself and the person I union with. Dax said, you mean him. I went to sleep the last time. I didn't think it was fair to watch. T'Lana blushed and said Thank you for that. Dax asked, is his union so strong? Is that why you love him so much? T'Lana sat down on the shower bench and ran her hand through her hair. Dax backed off saying sorry Too personal. Forget I asked. T'Lana thought for a moment and said, No it's alright. for this to work we are going to get a lot more personal than simple questions. To answer you, I must say it's part of the reason. I felt him. I went inside his body and felt all of him. I felt him as a man feels and felt what his body was doing to me. Every time he moved or touched me in some way I felt like my body was on fire with desire. My mind was so fogged. T'Lana pressed a few special spots and closed her eyes to remember.

She leaned against the tile wall and moaned. Dax was surprised that she could feel the sensation. All Dax could say was WOW! I never felt that before. Dax tried it and made T'Lana moan again. She said that's enough now we only do this when we are alone. And only when I want. It's never forced on a person. A union is more than the joining of the body it's the exploration of the body. Figuring out what you can do to make your union moan and please him. Now, stand up and walk around. T'Lana snickered No Not like that. You're walking to spread legged like you have a big stick shoved up inside yourself. Relax, remember how Mother walked after she had sex with Father? Remember how I walked when I left...T'Lana took a deep breath holding back tears, she finished her sentence.

When I walked away from Jarrod the day of our separation and beamed away with them? Dax said, I remember and started walking closer together. Walking like a woman. T'Lana smiled and said That's better. Mother's voice startled her she sat down and its ok child. This is a good thing. You're helping your Dax and he is helping you. T'Lana said, Mother, Dax knows virtually nothing about being a woman. I have to show him everything. Mother said, I'm glad to see you reaching out to your Dax. Now what was that about you watching your father and I union? T'Lana grinned wickedly and blushed. T'Lana said the first time I saw what you were doing to his manhood. I thought No way, this makes me sick. But then when I saw what he was doing to you, I started experimenting and took a young boy and had my first union. We did it all together.

I never felt such powerful emotions before. Yanas said You saw it all? T'Lana said, I took notes too. Yanas blushed deep red and T'Lana snickered. She said Mother, Jarrod is it for me. He drives my passions farther than I have ever been. He makes me gasp and cry out as Father does to you. Yanas blushed again. She said this is not the Mother / Daughter talk I had envisioned. T'Lana held her Mother's hand and said we don't have a lot of time. Maybe, its time to have this talk and many more. I love you Mother. We need to be frank with each other. Talk and share as woman to woman now. Yanas was overcome with emotion and held her Daughter. A moment later, T'Lana put her sun dress back on. Yanas was teaching her different positions for later. Jar'Don saw them through the glass wall and came over.

Both of them were whispering and snickering Jar'don asked what are you two doing. T'Pol and her mother are in the other room. Yanas said I was just showing our daughter some special positions she can use to please her man. Jarrdon turned almost purple with embarrassment. He put his head against the tiled wall and shook it moaning Oh No. Not the Mother / Daughter Talk. Not today of all days. They snickered at Jar'don. T' Lana said Its ok Father. Dax and I are talking notes for later. I will hide them with my first set when I watched you two do the whole thing. He whirled around and said WHAT !. Yanas and I both broke out in a belly laugh. He said, Not now, Please show some decorum and come out and meet T'Pol and her Mother.

**The Lost Trill (Alone) Chap Nine / Segment Four.**

We all walked back to the living room and Jar'Don introduced us.  
We exchanged greetings. T'Pel had a wicked gleam in her eye. Yanas was first to see it. T'Pol took an instant liking to T'Lana and sat beside her. We sat and talked some about T'Pol's education and T'Pel handed over a leather pouch that had all her medical and educational papers. She asked Yanas , I saw you teaching something to your daughter. Jar'Don face palmed and blushed. He muttered Oh Gods, I was hoping you didn't see that. T'Pel asked why? Its just all part of the Mother / Daughter talk. She just got her Dax. I am sure their will be many more talks. On Vulcan we Mothers are also required to school our daughters in the rigors of sex. Both its pleasures and its pains. T'Pol said Mother please. T'Pel said I found my talks with my daughter to be very educational.

T'Pol blushed and face palmed. T'Pel said I suppose the fact that she knew more than me was what made it so awkward. How about you Yanas? Yanas and T'Lana looked at each other and both immediately cracked up.T'Pel laughed and T'Pol just hid her face and snickered. Jar'Don said I need a drink, got up and walked over to the bar and poured himself one. To see T'Pel laughing and T'Pol snickering was very odd. T'Pel explained. Jar'Don, we belong to a sect of Vulcan called Syrrinittes. We believe and use logic to guide our live's not let it live our lives for us as the more militaristic do. We have thoughts and feeling just as anybody else does. We laugh and cry just as you do. It's the reason I wanted to leave my daughter in your care. I can go back. I know all the disciplines of their logic and can live amongst them with relative ease. T'Pol has been raised shielded from all that.  
She is Vulcan but was raised here on Trill, to think and act as more Trill than Vulcan. She knows to guard herself around the others but in no way can she come back to Vulcan unless she goes through the retraining. T'Pel said I will not have my daughter raised or trained in such a manner. She has been a delight to my soul, watching her grow up on your world.

Also, there is another reason. T'Pol said MOTHER !. T'Pel said child they have to know. T'Pol blushed and went outside on the patio and sat down at the patio table with her back to us, hiding her face.  
T'Pel said, A few years back, T'Pol got curious and initiated a union with one of your Trill males. It ended very badly. She prefers women and is embarrassed.

If the other vulcans find out she will be branded as defective and forced to go through some very horrible series of retraining of her mind and body. She gets it from me. I grew up on Vulcan but was exposed to my alternative life style at an early age. My husband loved me and I loved him. We married and I gave him a child. He kept the secret. We were very good to each other. When we got the assignment here it was a god send. He and I had places we could go to meet our needs. T'Pol had nonsuch training in the skills. She comes by her desires naturally. I watched as she blossomed into a beautiful young woman and never steered her in any direction. She started with a boy and he got rough with her. She nearly beat him to death. Ever since, she has only felt comfortable around other women. Jar'Don poured T'Pel and Yanas a drink. T'Lana said excuse me and went outside and sat beside T'Pol.  
Yanas said she feels a kinship with T'Pol. Good, they will need each other. Yanas shared a look with Jar'Don. T'Pel took a sip of her drink and said my husband had a kinship with you Jar'Don. He told me how he valued your friendship. Despite my feelings for women I grew to love him very much.  
I appreciate how much you made him happy. Here on Trill you two are the only ones I can entrust with my daughter.  
Outside on the patio, a servant brought us two glasses of ice water. It took some time for T'Pol to settle herself. T'Lana said its all right. Here among us you may express yourself as you please. You are going to be my younger sister now. So you like girls. So what. I unioned with a woman once and found the experience very pleasing. You have no need of feeling embarrassed around me or any of us.  
T'Pol said My mother speaks freely about things she should be quiet about. She too is like me. T'Pol said you have a Dax. You should know all about it. Snickering I said, I have a Dax that hasn't a clue. I have been teaching him how to be a woman. T'Pol snickered and smiled. She said you mean the Dax is a male? T'Lana said yes but I didn't need a Dax to see your reaction to me when I walked in the room or your feel your warmth and desire to sit beside me.  
T'Lana said, let's go for a walk down the beach. T'Lana took T'Pol by the hand and they went down the stairs to the beach they walked around feeling the wind and sun on their faces. T'Pol smiled and said I love it here on your world. Ive never been to Vulcan and have no desire to ever go there. Trill is all I have ever known.

T'Pol asked when you union does Dax see you. T'Lana said its complicated. Dax can see through my eyes and feel everything I feel.  
During times of intimacy though, he can go to sleep and let me be me. I suspect though, sometimes he snoops. They snickered, T'Pol found a small tubular shaped shell with many colors. She showed it to T'Lana, she said, these are rare this time of year. T'Pol washed it off in the surf and put it in her pocket. They went down the beach and found two more. T'Pol was delighted. She said now I have one for you and Mother. They started back and found them waiting for them out on the patio. It was the beginning of sun down. The golden hues painted a beautiful tan on the face of T'Pol and T'Pel. They stood together and watched. T'Pol handed the shell to her Mother. She said it's beautiful. T'Pol started feelings the pains of a coming Good Bye.

T'Pel said, Child I must go now. I will miss how lovely this world is and how lovely you have become. They both melded and tears flowed. T'Pel said, I will remember you in my mind and my heart always. T'Pol said I will too Mother. Will you come back?  
T'Pel said I will try for reassignment but it will not be for a very long time. T'Pol said, I love you mother and broke the meld. She hugged and held her tightly. T'Pel said, I love you too my daughter. In Vulcan style they cleaned their faces and tried to look as stoic as possible. T'Pol walked over and stood beside Jar'Don. He said I will care for her, always. T'Pel said, the adoption papers are signed child. He is your father now.

Obey his wishes. T'Pol said, "Live long and Prosper my Mother" T'Pel gave the traditional hand greeting and said, "Live Long and Prosper my lovely Daughter" She signaled the ship and shimmered away. Back on board ship. the transport officer asked, Are you well T'Pel? The shell had some sand in it and it was still on her hand. she brushed it away and said Sand got blown in my eyes. Let us take our leave of this world and go home. She was led to her Quarters. And the vulcan ship silently left orbit and then after gaining some distance they warped out for home. In her Quarters T'Pel took off her garments and got the shell. She went into the steam bath and sat down in the tub. Holding the shell she wept bitterly..

**The Lost Trill (Lost) Chap Ten / Segment One**.

On Risa, I was getting itchy for something to do. My time with Bre'Tal was growing shorter and shorter. She would come home so tired from work. Like a role reversal I was the one pampering her with body rubs foot rubs and long soaks in the tub. I got this cryptic message from Admiral Nechaive. He asked me to meet him at his office.. He came out and greeted me inviting me into his office. I said plum assignment being here on Risa. He paged his assistant and told her he was not to be disturbed. He said you better sit down for this.  
He hit a switch and said, I got this from Vulcan a couple days ago and was unsure how to tell you. The message was from the same Vulcan Ambassador, I met with on Trill. He said, Mr. Connar. I am sorry to have to tell you this but T'Lin is dead.

We did all we could. She was responding to the Colenaar treatments and then exploded in the medical bay. She managed to get a phaser away from a guard and used it on herself. I knew you wouldn't believe me, so I made a copy of our security tape and enclosed it with this message. I was trembling with anger. My eyes were filled with tears. I gritted my teeth and said Play the recording. Nechaive said Jarrod.. I said, just play it. He switched over to the tape I saw my T'Lin being guided from a room. She looked and acted almost normal. Then she attacked her guide and overpowered a guard.  
Her eyes were all glazed over with fright. I heard her say in Vulcan, "Stay Away" another guard walked in with his weapon at the ready. She shot and vaporized him instantly. Then I heard her say "Let Me Die", she pointed the weapon at her chest and pulled the trigger and vaporized herself.

The Ambassador came back on and said something but I didn't hear him. I was shaking so badly. I tried to stand but everything went black and I crumpled to the floor. Nechaive hit his emergency alert button and called for medical care. My trembling would not stop. My head hurt. I was out but not out I could see and hear but not talk. Then mercifully, it all went black. The next time I woke with my head bandaged. I was restrained. Apparently, I lost it in the Admirals office. I moaned and Bre'Tal came running across the Medical bay. Her eyes said much. She was terrified with worry. I said, my head hurts bad. She gave me a shot and whispered I'm so sorry Jarrod. I passed out again. I don't know how many days went by.  
My hair was short on one side and long on the other.

I could feel the staples under the bandages. They released the restraints on my arms and I rubbed my face. Trina was sitting in a chair asleep. I remembered what her body looked like under her dress. How strong and muscular she is. Her powder blue skin so soft and warm. How we would sneak off at the academy to our private place in the woods and go wild for each other. Trina was always so beautiful when she slept. Her antenna's would slightly twitch as she took a breath. Slowly she woke up her sleepy eyes smiled before her face did. I smiled at her as she got up and came to my bed. It was late at night. She whispered because many were asleep.

She said, you been undressing me with your eyes again. I said stand her a while longer and I will do a lot more than that. I slipped my hand just under her dress and Held the inside of her leg just above the knee. I rubbed her lightly with my thumb. She gasped and bit her lip. You see on an Andorian woman most everyplace is an erogenous zone but the inside of her leg just above the knee was Trina's special place. Each Andorian female has one and they are all different. She was getting all revved up when Bre'Tal walked in. Her antenna, were turned backwards and twitching. Bre'Tal snickered. She had studied interspecies mating rituals as part of her counselor training. Trina gasped again and whispered dirty old man. I whispered you're right I am dirty. Want to bathe me like we did in that lake. Bre'Tal walked up and Trina's blue skin hid her blush and arousal. She backed away saying I'm sorry miss Bre'Tal. We were just reliving some old memories.

Bre'Tal said please stay. I need to talk to you. I'm going to need your help later. I asked what happened. Bre'Tal scanned me and said you burst an artery in your brain. We barely, and I mean barely saved your life. I was looking around. In broken talk I said dmiral...Office... T'Lin.. Bre'Tal said there will be some memory loss. How much do you remember? Tears fell from my eyes when I said too much. T'Lin is dead. Trina felt my sorrow and held my hand. Bre'Tal held my other hand and said, I'm so sorry Jarrod. A great big tear fell from my left eye as I looked up at Trina. I asked why does everybody I love leave me. She squeezed my hand and said you rest now. Bre'Tal gave me another pain shot and my eyes closed. Trina walked off with Bre'Tal. They went into a break room and shut the door.

Trina was nervous. Bre'Tal poured her a cup of coffee. They sat down to talk. Bre'Tal said, I saw you two together.

He still remembers how to push your buttons doesn't he. Trina bit her lip and both snickered. Bre'Tal said, there will be memory loss. He focused on you. I don't think he remembers me. Trina said, nonsense, take him home and he will remember soon enough. Bre'Tal said, I am a Trill counselor. I was assigned to physically assist him as he grieves the loss of his union. His real union. Her name is T'Lana. He rescued her, unioned with her and helped heal her. She Took a Dax and now they have to be apart for two years while she attends special training. I will need your help to draw him away from me. I will need you to rekindle your romance with him. I know you love him. and I know he has many fond memories of loving you. Trina said but you love him too.

Bre'Tal said On our world we people have many ways that are very different. I plan to return to Trill and give up my host. He must never know. The loss of his wife nearly killed him. T'Lana and her mother are bonded with him through a ceremony we call the Tezerax. Its difficult to explain, but your right. I do love him and I have only another year and month before I must return him and break the union. Soon he will feel the first pull of the Tezerax. Yanas, T'Lana's mother has only a few months left to live. When she dies her husband Jar'Don will be devastated. I may be recalled to union with him and help him through his grief. If not, then I will surrender my Dax and go back to the pools.  
When Yanas dies, a great sorrow will fall upon him. He will need us both. I have done this once before but never with an Andorian female. Through his memories, I learned a lot about you and know you to be a fun loving good and honorable woman. We may have to Union with ourselves before the event happens. Develop a kind of Kindred mental link to be able to please him. Bre'Tal held Trina's hand and asked Just think about it. Trina didn't back away. She said, I have never been with a woman before. I will think about it...

**The Lost Trill (Lost) Chap Ten / Segment Two.**

I woke up moaning, restrained in a hospital bed. Bre'Tal came running over with eyes filled with fright. She looked at me with those lovely eyes of hers and said I'm so sorry Jarod. She gave me the shot and I blacked out again.  
The next time I remember anything my head was heavily bandaged and my beard was getting long. I asked What happened? Bre'Tal said you burst an artery in your brain. Apparently, when you crashed back on earth with your old ship an artery wall was damaged and went unseen till a week ago when... Stress made it burst. The pressure on your brain was enormous. We barely managed to save you. Jarod I was never more scared in my life. I held her hand and said, I love you too. Bre'Tal trembled with my words.  
Back on Trill the news was kept from T'Lana and T'Pol. Their relationship had grown from Kinship to a beautiful union and Yanas didn't want any of it spoiled by and Jar'Don however had separated and gone back to sleeping in separate rooms.

Yanas was getting weaker. The first polling's of The Tezerax had started. She knew soon she would have to say good bye. Yanas and T'Lana shared many adult talks about what was to come. How a great many things will be different. She asked please watch over your father. He can be stubborn but I love him. Yanas said I want him to continue working at Tigan mines. But you my daughter will hold the purse strings. I am giving you control of the mines. T'Lana was about to say something but Yanas shushed her. She whispered, He is a very good and loving man but he is not good with money. This will hurt him at first. I'm sorry but it must be this way. Also, since he and I are no longer royalty, those at the mine do not know this. To them you are still a princess and I want you to hire your father as your security cheif. Make it look like it was his idea.

The security detail will help keep the Vulcan's at bay. Yanas said when I pass I will go into you through the Tezerax. I dont know how long it will take inside you for me to get strong enough to talk to you. I may sleep for many months. Listen closely. I may only be a whisper.

The change will be dramatic. I will basically act as a spiritual Dax inside you. I will help him understand more about being a woman and share my memories with him. Yanas held her daughter tightly to her chest and said It fills me with joy to know you have accepted your Dax. He will fill you with many memories of joy as mine has for me. T'Lana said we still have a lot to work out but at least we are working it out. He likes to snup when T'Lin and I are together. Yanas snickered, How is that going by the way.  
T'Lana sighed and just stared at her mother with eyes glazed over with love. Both snickered and giggled. Yanas said later, when you are with somebody, your Dax can help enhance your pleasure. Mine helped me to please your father.

She even taught me that thing you don't like to do when...T'Lana interrupted, holding her hand up saying, Please Mother, Dinner will come soon and I dont want that thought swimming through my head right now.  
Snickering Yanas said ok-ok. One other thing, and this is important. I spoke with the attorney and set up accounts for you and T'Lin and a separate account for your father. These are all trust accounts that will release funds only once a year so you must be careful.  
Later, after I die, I set up instructions for my body. T'Lana tried to get up and walk away. She said mother, I can't hear this right now. Yanas gently pulled her back down to the bed saying you must. I asked to be cremated and my ashes spilled out at sea. I have always loved the ocean and this way I will return to Trill. No elaborate or expensive funeral. For a time money will be tight. The mines are profitable but only marginally.

I want you to have the cottage down at the mine. I hid many secrets and beautiful memories there for you to discover. Yanas's eyes welling up and spilling over with tears, she said, Child you will have to be the adult after I am gone. Your father will need you to be the levelheaded one as this will devastate him. My Lovely daughter, I only have a couple months left. Soon I will become worse. I already feel the pull of the Tezerax. I will be with you always after. Finish your training and marry that lovely man of yours. Give him many children and all the love you have in your heart. Dax will understand. I will watch as you walk down that isle from inside your heart filling it with all my love. They held each other tightly and cried in each other's arms. T'Lin came in and climbed up with her and hugged us both. She looked up in Yanas's eyes and said, I love you mother. Yanas's heart broke all over again she held T'Lin close and whispered I love you too. After some time Yanas let go and said now go get washed up you two dinner will be ready soon.

**The Lost Trill (Lost) Chap Ten / Segment Three.**

Jad'Don arrived a few moments later aggravated from work at the mine. A few moments later, our two servants have finished setting up the meal and called us to dinner. They then went into the kitchen and ate their meals there. Everything started well. Some light discussion about school and some talk about T'Lanas Dax, Then as the meal continued Jar'Don couldn't hold back his frustration no longer. He snarled those Damn Vulcan's have been filling the councils heads with nonsense again. Now they are putting pressure on the mines to increase our output another ten percent. He snarled sometimes I wonder if this stewardship of theirs isn't actually an invasion.  
T'Pol said Father, I am Vulcan too. Jar'Don stopped and took a breath. He looked at T'Pol and said you are right, I misspoke. I meant no offence to you. You are Vulcan and also Trill. I love you dearly my daughter its just sometimes I wonder who is ruling Trill now that the royalty has been dissolved. Yanas was always protective of the children and her father's mines. She became snarly at Jar'Don and soon the banter of anger was beling passed across the table along with the food.

T'Lin stood and waited for them to take notice and stop. T'Lana had never seen her upset like this. She said, I love you both. But I am who I am and I will not pretend to be anything other than what I am. My people can be trouble, but they still are my people just like you two are my parents not only on a piece of paper but inside my heart as well.  
When I came here, Love was in this house. Somehow It has become lost. Please try to find it again. Mother's time draws short. Please try hard. She walked away to her room and sat on her bed trying to read a book. Dax wanted to stay silent but T'Lana would have none of it. She set her fork down and said, isn't it amazing that one who has no Dax can be smarter than all of us who do. Little wonder why I resisted mine for so long. She stood and went to go hold her sister and comfort her. Jar'Don watched as T'Lana walked away and through the open hallway he watched as she hugged and held her sister passionately. Both Yanas and Jar'Don knew the girls were right. Jar'Don set his fork down got up and walked over to the window. Yanas saw his shoulders slump and knew he was crying. Her heart broke and she got up and walked over to him wrapping her arm around his waist. She said husband I'm sorry. All this has been very hard on you.  
Jar'Don said the girls are right, both of them. I don't know what I am going to do when it happens. I love you so damn much; I don't know what I am going to do when you die. I need you so much to stay with me. I thank the Gods for what Jarrod did. But we haven't much time and I am more scared than I have ever been in all my life.  
It seems the more I try to hold on the harder it gets. She said come, let's go talk to the girls. They turned around and were face to face with them. Big tears feel from both of them. T'Lin said I'm sorry for being disrespectful. I remember how it was when my daddy died. The giant hole it left in me. I was afraid it would suck me in. It almost did. I love you both. Please try to be happy with all the time that's left. When daddy died, mother's world crashed and burned. I know you're hurting father. We all are. They all embraced and sobbed for a while. T'Lana held her mother and Jar'Don held T'Lin. It was a long time before anybody settled. Yanas looked at her husband with eyes filled with tears and said we made such a beautiful family together. I do love you my husband. After a few hours we returned to our meal. It was cold but no one cared. The love in this house was lost and now it has been found. Afterwards, we gathered and looked at old pictures. They shared some old memories with T'Lin. Her smile had brightened the dark places in Yanas's heart. It was easy to see why she captured Jar'Don's. Later after clean up chores and showers or baths were done. Lessons needed to be learned from T'Lana's book were taken care of. The house quieted down. Yanas was restless, she got up and made herself a hot tea. She went into the girl's room to check up on them and say good night.

T'lin's room was dark quiet and empty. She walked over to T'Lanas and found T'Lin sleeping in bed with T'Lana all hugged up under her arm. T'Lana or Dax she didn't know which open her eyes and smiled. Yanas smiled and whispered Good Night and silently closed the door. Walking around the house she looked at all that she would leave behind. Sipping on her tea she slid her fingers across the top of Jar'Dons chair at the dinner table. Thinking about the man and all that they had accomplished in her life she gave herself a wicked look. She walked over and knocked on Jar'Don's door. The lights were out. She saw Jar'Don start to get up and whispered, don't get up it's just me. I couldn't sleep. Got any room in your bed for one more? Jar'Don smiled and held open the sheets and blanket. He said always my love. She came in and closed the door. Walking over she set down her tea on the coffee table and climbed in with her husband, lover and life partner.

They snuggled and warmed each other with the love in their hearts. Jar'Don knew she was too weak for anything else but was very glad to fall asleep with her back in his arms.  
Back on Risa, Jarod was on the mend. His memory was affected but only partly. He remembered everything about Trina and Bre'Tal. His hair was back and the skull wound was healed. The hospital released him but on probation. He was warned not to try to overdo.  
Trina brought him home and helped him in the bed to rest. She stayed to take care of him. She scooted over on the other side of the bed to watch over him. They both fell asleep and Bre'Tal came home to find them both in an embarrassing position. She milked it for a few moments and then just cracked up. It was good he had such a trusting friend. Bre'Tal was snickering as she was making dinner. Trina was embarrassed. She came in the kitchen to say how sorry she was when Bre'Tal whirled around and pinned her against the counter with a very passionate kiss.

Trina was shocked at first but soon melted in her embrace. Bre'Tal drew back and they just wordlessly looked at each other. Trina made her decision and kissed Bre'Tal back with the same passion. Dinner that night was later than usual as both ladies were on an odyssey of adventure in passions neither had ever known before. The soft and silkiness of Trina's power blue skin festinated Bre'Tal as they explored each other. Trina loved Bre'Tals spots and went exploring herself. They made dinner and after took Jarrod into the bath. Snickering and giggling they undressed him, and helped him in the warm tub. Then they both undressed and kissed and stepped down in the tub with Jarrod. Snuggling up in the warm soapy water was ecstasy for Jarrod. He watched as they played with each other and him. After, they snuggled up and rested. Later after they were all cleaned up and dried off all three snuggled up in the bed.  
Jarod was in the middle with two beautiful women on each side and never did he ever sleep so well.

**The Lost Trill (Death) Chap Eleven / Segment One.**

Another month went by On Trill...  
Yanas was getting worse. She stayed in bed most days now. The doctor had a heart monitor set up in her room with the volume turned off. He was monitoring her heart through telemetry. Jar'Don kept vigil refusing to leave and go to work most days now. Everybody at the mines prayed and kept a silent vigil of their own. T'Lana stayed by her side now. Waiting on her like a servant girl. Yanas told her where all the papers were and how to arrainge them.  
For Yanas, all was in order her life nearly complete. She called T'lin in for a private chat. Sitting there now more like her sister than ever before. She changed her hair to look exactly like her sister. Yanas said, I have a confession to make to you. At first I didn't want you here. I said you need to be with your own people.I have come to realize now that you are with your own people. T'Lana and your father will need you to be strong for them. I need to tell you something. The ceremony we all kept calling the Tezerax is a very powerful and firghtening process. Much like a static warp shell encases a ship going into warp, my soul and spirit will be encapsulated in a giant energy ball of immense power.  
It will leave my body and go into T'Lana. Don't be frightened. The man whom T'Lana loves, the one we call man of two worlds went down into the deep symbiot caves and requested the Tezerax to give me more life for my family.

He told then I needed more time to care for my family. Truth is you changed me. The extra time spent helped me to open my heart and allow you inside.  
There is no amount of award to compensate for what he done for me and all of us. T'Pol placed her hand on her bare chest and whispered, When you and Dad took me into your home I felt accepted. When you took me into your heart, you helped me to know love. I am grateful. I know your journey begins soon and it breaks my heart to say Goodbye. It breaks my heart because of the love inside me. Love you gave me that I will remember and cherish all my life. T'Pol said I will love you forever, and I promise to try to be strong for our family. 

Back on Risa...  
Jarod was trying to shake this heavy feeling of dread. He went to go meet Admiral Nechaive. Feeling bad about all that has happened he wanted to make amends. I used to hate all these uniformed political Bastards, but now I find over this last year they do have an honorable side. I even made some friends with a few. Trina and Bre'Tal and Trank and I all were called to a meeting. We went aboard a shuttle and went up to the space station to meet him. As we landed he was waiting on us. He walked us over to a viewing window of the docking port. He said, Jarrod, We have been friends for a while now and I count myself lucky to know you. Star Fleet felt bad about all that happened to you. The loss of your friend Jinko, and your wife T'Lin and your baby. I felt bad about it as well. It took some doing, but this ship is yours. I was stunned. I said You're kidding right? That's a Galaxy class vessel. The Admiral said I pulled some strings and had her towed from the salvage yard. She was the USS LIBERTY NCC-9724. She was the great experiment. A First Generation Galaxy Class refitted into a dreadnaught. A prototype of the later, newer versions. They had a lot of problems but they could put up one hell of a fight. Their Phaser Cannon alone could chew through most anything we came up against. Months after we brought the first ten on line we started having design problems and had to build the next ten from scratch. It took us four years to get the first new one on line. She retired the Liberty here. I have been having StarFleet go through her so she will be safe for you. Nechaive said, with her you can haul 50 times as much with each run. Generate your yearly income in one delivery. My eyes were wide as I looked at him. I gave him a big unexpected hug.

Nechaive said there are some strings attached. Star'Fleet still wants you to do convoy security duty and we will provide all the maintence you may need and patch you up from time to time. Bre'Tals eyes began to sparkle, Trank was itching to start crawling through her maintence tubes. Nechaive also said, Star Fleet wants to contract with you exclusively so no other off the books hauls. He smiled as my eyes sparkled.  
And said at least not for now anyway. I shook my head. It's too big Admiral, I would need a crew. Bre'Tal said you already have a ships counselor and medical physition. Trank said and I am the best engeneer, Star Fleet ever kicked out of the academy. Trina said I am the best Tactical they ever lost. I snickered, The Admiral said its settled then. You are now captain of your own ship again. She can stay here for as long as you like to take on more crew and provisions. The entrance is over in the South Terminal Gangway tube two. Nechaive shook my hand and said come by my office any time and we will settle up on the paperwork. After he left, we looked at the ship for a long time.  
Her hull was dark and pitted from space dust and back ground radiation. Not to mention she had been sitting in a space salvage yard for nearly thirty years. I said Trank you wanted a challenge, well this one's a biggy. Trank smacked my arm and said not so big as her captain, I think.. Permission to go aboard captain?  
Smiling, you're kidding right. We walked nearly half way around the entire docking bay area stopping at some of the viewing windows to take a good look at her. She's old to be sure. Old but still got some life left in her. We found the gangway and walked over to our ship. She cleaned up pretty good inside. There were a lot of walls beds, furnature and all that would be gutted to reduce weight, and power consumption. Her hallways would stay though. It would take many years but we could get her back in fighting and hauling shape. We rode the lift to the bridge and looked around. I was afraid to touch anything. Some controls were missing. Some exposed conduits and wires. Nothing Trank can't handle. I sat down in the Captains chair. I looked around at Bre'Tal, Trina , and Trank. I asked are you sure you want to do this. They all looked at each other and said Hell yes. Jarrod said I must admit I have been itching to get back out into space... Trina, Try to pull up the ships old log. We need to know where she went bad and why she was decommissioned.

Trank, The ship is yours. Do your majic. We need to restore her. Bre'Tal your with me. We left the bridge and went to the captains quarters. It was cavernous. I asked her, What about your job on Risa. She said I was about to resign anyway. I may have to go home because. I interupted her by saying, Because of the Tezerax. Yanas's time is almost here. I can feel it. She said all three of you are bonded in the Tezerax. When she passes you will need me and I will be there. So will my union Trina. I took a step back and said What!. Bre'Tal snickered. Ever since that first joining we have been seeing each other. You don't mind do you? Other than T'Lana she is my only female union in a long while. Jarrod, I have been schooling Trina to replace me. I gathered her up in my arms and gave her a passionate kiss and said no one can replace you. She said when the Tezerax comes, I may be recalled to comfort Jar'Don in his greif. If he doesn't want me I will remain here with you of course.

I asked, Bre'Tal is your Dax name isn't it? She said yes. My Host name used to be Elon'dra. I was thinking, and then maybe we just found our ships new name. After a few hours we all gathered back on the bridge and went to go get something to eat. Trank stayed back on ship. He was happy. He was in his element. He downloaded a copy of the ships schematics and went to crawling.

The ship had over a hundred food replicators so when he got hungry or thirsty he had no problems. The ship will become his home. It's where he is comfortable now.

**The Lost Trill (Death) Chap Eleven / Segment Two.**

Another month went by...On Risa,  
Trina and I had grown close again. I got addicted to her laugh and tickled her whenever I could. Bre'Tal saw a few times and joined in with us. Once Trina got the best of Bre'Tal and we both got her laughing and gasping. Trina knew which spots to rub and had Bre'Tal moaning loudly. After that the mood changed quickly to some fun of another sort, usually in the showers. We had been packing and just finished moving into our new ship. Star Fleet corps of engeneers just finished the over paint of "Liberty's" old name and painted on our newly registered name, the"USS ELONDRA". Bre'Tal looked at her name with 10 foot tall letters on our ship and just cried and cried. It meant the world to her. Because of her Dax though she only responded to Bre'Tal. It's only right anyway. She may be two life forms but she is one person to me now.

I had to admit, it was true. I loved her. I loved everything about her. Especially, I loved the way her eyes sparkled when I made her happy. The bridge is rebuilt. Controls from three other scraped starships now control the ship. A few bridge sections still didnt work but we have weapons, science, and communications and Navigation. The ships computer had some memory gaps but with some effort we managed to fill in the gaps with useful data. The Captians log was toast. First, It was downloaded improperly by Star Fleet (No Surprise There) and than was brutally wiped by the Salvage yard. We spent the better part of two days cleaning and defraging the system before it would ever work right. All three Nacells were all lit up and running properly. A fact that still has Star Fleet corps of Engineers scratching their heads. Trank was in his element, scrambeling and laughing like a hyeanna all through the jeffery's tubes. He had found his spot near the center of the ship and built his nest. He was snug as a bug in a rug. The rest of our motley crew was found and notified on Rigel-7. They were told we would be by to pick them up as soon as their sentences were over and they would be let out of detention.

It seems that some people can party too hard. Nechaive was astounded with the amount of work completed. I was watching Trina straining to ware that back pack Vacuum cleaner cleaning some rooms on deck 8. It was hilarious. She was not known for being clean and tidy. Back at the academy, that rat's nest of a dorm she used to have was raided several times by personal in Hasmat suites.  
I guess some of Bre'Tal rubbed off on her. I know a lot of her was rubbed on her but that memory I will keep to myself. The damned thing was so loud she didn't noticed me watching and smiling. She snarled at me for laughing. I went inside and closed the door. A few moments later we gave each other thing to do other than snarling. (By the way, doing it in the sonic shower is a trip and a half). We both went back to work with a smile on our faces.

Finally finished with deck eight she left the vacuum in the last suite and went to sick bay. Inside, Bre'Tal was unpacking and stocking the meds and bandages we will need if things get ruff while on voyage. Trina said you got anything for a sore back? Hauling that vacuum around is heavy. Bre'Tal scanned her and said muscle strain aeh? Come here. I have some ointment for that she said take off your shirt so I can rub this on you. Instinctively, Trina used the shirt to cover her breasts. She looked at Bre'Tal and both sickered. Trina dropped the shirt and gave Bre'Tal some eye candy to look at. She blushed with some dirty thoughts and not so old memories. Both laughed and Trina laid down on the medical bed. As Bre'Tal applied the ointment Trina started to moan her antenna turned backwards and was looking at Bre'Tal. She rubbed the ointment up and down her back. Bre'Tal was enthralled with the look and feel of Trina's powder blue skin. Such was my motley crew. Part brothel part crew, all fun...so far.

**The Lost Trill (Death) Chap Eleven / Segment Three.**

As her last month went by...On Trill...  
T'Lana and T'Pol walked on the beach to have a private talk. T'Pol said, my sister the time comes. The Tezerax has started. T'Lana held her hand and said my love, I know. Both looked out across the horizon at the storm that approaches. T'Pol held T'Lana's hand and rubbed it on her cheek. She said we have come far you and me. Our melds make us one in so many ways.

When you go inside me and feel me I feel you love for me and for all the rest of the family especially mother. T'Lana said I feel your love for her as well. Dax said I am as prepared as I can be, but no one can ever prepare for death. T'Pol said I pray it's quick and sudden so mother won't suffer. We held each other for a long time. T'Lana said I don't know if I can do this. Her eyes were filled with tears. T'Pol cried too and said all will be in pain and sorrow. Even me. No logic can ever protect anybody from grief and morning. The storm grew closer. T'Lana said we better go back to them off in the distance a figure dressed in black robes with pointed ears was watching. More trouble and sorrow may be on the horizon.

Yanas was sleeping peacefully. She did that most days. Jar'Don had just beamed back from work. He had with drawn into himself trying desperately to prepare for the coming pain. He went straight to Yanas's room and kissed her forehead as she slept. All of us was given a sandwich by the servents as even they really didn't feel like cooking anything elaborate. The storm blew in from the sea. T'Lana and Jar'don could hear the singing of the elder symbiots as the storm rumbled. All of a sudden the lightening from the storm blew out the house breakers. Jar'Don was asleep in his bed totally exhausted from work and worry. T'Lana and T'Pol got up and went into mother's room to check in on her. The bolts of energy from the Tezerax were sparking all around Yanas. It shorted out the lamp, Heart monitor and telemetry attached to Yanas.

Slowly the huge energy ball started to rise up out of Yanas. T'Pol had never seen such a sight she held T'Lana's hand tightly. Yanas's body shriveled and her face was gaunt and dry as her life left her body. The energy ball stunned both the girls with some kind of paralyzing beam. Both could do nothing but watch as the energy ball compacted itself and went inside T'Lana.  
As instantly as it started it all stopped. The house was dark and quiet now. T'Pol being stronger of the two woke up first. She saw the horrified look of their mother's body.

She scooped T'Lana up in her arms shielding her eyes so she couldn't see, T'Pol carried T'Lana out in the living room and dropped to her knees with grief and sorrow. T'Pol, a Vulcan was on the living room floor sobbing for her adopted Trill mother. She was overcome with pain and screamed out in horror. Jar'Don ran out of his room and saw the girls he ran into Yanas's room and his screams and wails said more than any words ever could.  
T'Pol and T'Lana had to be sedated as as soon as T'Lana woke up and one look into T'Pols eyes said it all. She screamed and struggled to get out of T'Pol's arms and T'Pol was straining to hold her tight to her chest. Fighting the medicine T'Lana broke free. In the may lay she accidently kicked T'Pol in the face leaving her crumpled on the floor screaming and sobbing into her hands as the green blood started coming out her nose. T'Lana's screams alerted the doctor and he bared her way into the room. It was too late. The memory of what her mother's body looked like was now seared into her brain.  
The doctors had to sedate Jar'Don to pull him off Yanas's body. A quick scan said everything, as the heart monitor on the scanner was flat lined. Yanas and her Dax was dead. The ripples in space started going out heading for one man on one ship, sleeping with his two women.  
On the Elondra...The Tezerax had found its man and he woke with wails of greif and sorrow that scared the shit out of both women. He screamed and sobbed Bre'Tal grabbed a hold of him tightly holding his legs down as he thrashed about. Bre'Tal said It's the Tezerax. Yanas is dead Trina and Bre'Tal pulled off their shirts and grabbed a hold of him, holding him. Trying to comfort him any way they could. Struggling to hold on and reach for the drawer of the nightstand Bre'Tal finally got it opened and grabbed the trank gun inside.  
It took three shots to get my writhing body to settle. Bre'Tal said quickly, We need to get him in water. Trina asked why. When Bre'Tal pulled back the sheets and blanket both saw and smelled the reason. Jarod had lost all bowel and bladder control and defecated in the bed during his screams.

Both got him wrapped up in a sheet so he wouldn't drip on the floor. Then hauled him up on his feet and carried him into the showers and hosed him off. Then into the tub. Trina took a phaser and vaporized the bed before it could drip on the carpeted floor. She came back in and held him as Bre'Tal called for Star Fleet Emergency Medical to arrive. It was a week later when I woke up. Trina and Bre'Tal were all bruised and battered and looked exhausted. Tear's fell from my eyes as an open hose as they came over and climbed in the bed to snuggle and comfort me. It would be another week before I could pull myself out of bed. Shakily, I went back to work on my ship. The work kept my mind busy. Admiral Nachieve came by to check up on me. We all met in the captains briefing room.

The Admiral asked are you all right? I said truthfully, no. I still feel a little shaky but in time with the help of my family here I will get better. The Admiral said Good. I have your first hauling orders. By 0800 tomorrow I will have the freight beamed over into your storage. Destination is Rigle-6 I said that works out. We have crew to pick up on admiral said good because there is a very large load waiting on you at DS-9 for here. The original hauler was killed in a raid on his ship. There have been reports of Dominion suiside raders in the area. I said and you need somebody with big guns. He smiled and said, your getting better all the time. I asked will any of my shipment to Rigle-6 blow up? The admiral said just about two thirds will so be carefull out there. I exchanged a look with my crew. And said well folks it looks like we are off on another great adventure.

I shook the Admirals hand befor he left. I called Trank and said we need to be able to fly this ship tomorrow. Is she sound? Trank called back on the coms laughing and saying a lot sounder that you are right now. I answered back saying you may be more right than you know. Trank said keep it together Captain. Take it one day at a time. I said good advice Captain out. I looked over at Trina she already had called up a cup of coffee for me. I gave her a big kiss and said ladies; I want to say how sorry I am for bruising you two up like that. Bre'Tal walked over and hugged him. Trina was close behind.

**The Lost Trill (Death) Chap Eleven / Segment Four.**

We all went and got some rest and made ready for the early morning load up. Star Fleet kept to a strict schedule and would have begun the loading weather we were awake or not. As I stirred, Trina jumped awake. I held and comforted her. She was still jumpy from the Tezerax. We got up, bathed, played and got dressed. The food replicators were all working so we had no food shortage problems.  
True to his word Admiral Nechaive had the corp of Engineers beaming over load after load at 6 am and they finished at 0800 am. We powered up the Elondra and called over to harbor docking control requesting permission to depart. For a thirty year old ship she made for an impressive and menacing site as she backed out the open bay doors. We turned and set course. I contacted Admiral Nechaive and asked if their was any extra information.

He said no and wished us a safe trip. We left space dock at impulse and then went to warp. Warp one and two, three and four, Five and then topping out at warp 6 so as not to over tax the engines. It all felt smooth. At warp six, we will be at Rigel-6 in two days. Trina was manning Navigation and I was manning the engine controls. I kept a sharp eye on the intermix exchange and manifold was a genius. He had solved some of the original bugs that plagued the ship thirty years ago. Now, she was purring like a kitten.  
Meanwhile back on Trill...The house was quiet. Yanas's old room was sealed. Nobody ever went in there after that night. The funeral was simple and small, just like she wanted it. Yesterday we took a boat out to sea and had a small personal ceremony of just our own. T"Lana held mothers ashes. When the time came she offered the earn to Jar'Don. He just couldn't do it so T'Lana did the honors.  
When they came back several miners were waiting on us. The word had already begun to spread. They bowed down to T'Lana knowing she was in charge now. While we were gone they had worked with our two remaining servants, to clean the house from stem to stern. They mowed the lawn, weeded the flower beds and re planted some flowers for spring and added some park benches for all of us to sit and watch the sea.

We thanked them for caring and sent them home. None of us were in the mood for visitors. Like it or not we had one. A tall Vulcan Ambassador was sitting at the patio table waiting. T'Pol instantly went on the alert and had her fingers on the phaser she kept with her at all times. It was set for stun but she knew how to change the setting real quick. They sat down and refreshments were brought out. The Ambassador said I came to speak to you about your daughter T'Pol. Her training here on Trill can only go so far. T'Pol was adamant. She said Trill is my home. I was born here. It's not logical to move to a planet and people I do not know when my family here needs me. We just returned from burying my adopted mother at sea. Jar'Don held up his hand for silence and T'Pol obeyed. He asked what your reason for this interest is.

He said she was seen out on the beach being affectionate with your daughter in an UnVulcan like manner. Jar'Don asked when was this? The ambassador said about a week ago. Jar'Don looked at T'Pol and said explain this. She said that was the night of Yanas's death. We all knew it was coming.

I was comforting my sister who was very upset at the time. She still is. As are we all. You should know even logic, as powerful as it is cannot shield one from the pains and sorrows of Greif and loss.  
He said Yes, couple that along with your youth, I could see how missinterpitation could come to pass. But logic can also give us strength to endure the struggles both ahead and behind. Being surrounded with so much emotion can be confusing. T'Pol said confusing? , Yes, at times but through the experience, I have come to learn more about my Trill family. It has helped me adjust and made my bond with them stronger than just some piece of paper. My mother signed long ago. I am one year past the age of decision.

I chose to stay here and care for my family. They are grieving. My path is clear. I will see to their needs because they saw to mine when Mother signed me over to their care. After that, I will contact my mother on Vulcan and counsel with her and my family here as to what Path my career will take. Now is not the time for rash decisions. Now is the time for meditation and contemplation. Consider what kind of a furure lays ahead for me. The Ambassador said I agree, Now is not the time for rash decisions. I will leave you to care for your family. Guard your emotions well child. You should increase your meditation times to find better clarity and strength. T'Pol said, Thank You sir, I will..

**The Lost Trill (Struggle) Chap twelve / Segment One**.

After the Ambasador left. We all went inside. T'Lana stated to speak but Jar'Don shushed her. He noticed a glass on the dinner table. He pulled out a drawer. Pulled out a bug sniffer and turned it on. Sure enough attached to the underside of the table was a listening device.  
He pulled it out from the underside. A servant saw and brought out a plastic food container. Jar'Don smiled and put the bug inside. Once sealed by the lid they will hear nothing. Jar'Don said take this and scan your rooms. T'Lana said but T'Pol was very logical and had very good excuses. Jar'don asked T'Pol do you think he left satisfied. T'Pol had fire in her eyes. She said Hell No. He wants me. Either as some pet project, or as his mate. I would die first.

Pack your things we are moving tonight down to the cottage near the mines. Everybody scattered.

An hour later another bug was found under T'Lana's bed. It was boxed up and the two placed in T'Lana's canvas bag. Jar'Don and the girls went to the council chambers. After beaming over, Security found they all three walked in armed to the teeth. Alarms went off and security tried to challenge Jar'Don. His girls slipped in behind the guards and caught them. The council leader said how dare you come in this council chamber with guns. He pulled out the bug snuffer and found another bug under the council's desk. He pulled it out and said how dare you allow under the guize of Stewardship allow an invader a foot hold on our world. Slamming down the bug on their desk. The Vulcans have been spying on us almost since they came. He pulled out the two other bugs and said this so called Ambassador planted listening devices in my home.

The Ambassador stood saying this is an outrage! Jar'Don whirled around and fired his phaser burning the Ambassadors arm. Grimacing out in pain, He sat back down. Jar'Don snarled, I just get back from burying my wife's ashes at sea and find you bugging my home and making inquiries about my daughter. T'Pol is born here legally adopted here and is by Trill law a Trill citizen. You so much as touch a hair and I will burn you down and all that came with you. Get off my world! Take all your people and go. Leave and never come back. One of the council, Mr. T'Grill stood to object. Jar'Don said, you may think you have dissolved the royalty but I still have many followers. So say the wrong words T'Grill. He sat back down slowly with his hands out.

He said, friend. I know you are hurting all of us grieve along with you. Yanas was the finest Queen we ever had. But all this violence only demonstrates how unstable a personality you have right now. How can you raise two children like this? Jar'Don didn't even blink an eye. He said by doing what every Trill would do to protect his family Dax or no. and before you seek to condemn me ask yourself this. If these invaders came after a member of your family. How long would it take before you resorted to violence? I'd say not very long. The council said you have proven your grievance against this man. He and his personal guard are banished from Trill forever. Another Ambassador must be chosen but you sir have disgraced yourself. I will be having a long conference with the Vulcan high command about you.

The girls pushed the guards over to the disgraced Ambassador and threw down their weapons on the floor at their feet so they would be caught up in their beam. All three shimmered away. Then a transport beam tried to catch up T'Pol. It was scrambled and shut down.  
Jar'Don pointed at T'Pol, See these bastards would resort to kidnapping! Get them all off Trill. The council said we can't. Many here came and intermarried. Two here on the council have Vulcan wives. We can't afford to start a war, even over one child. No matter who's child that is. Jar'Don said, No body touches one hair on my children's heads. Not even you. He stomped out and all three beamed away. By nightfall the house was all lit up and the servants walking around. Security forces came knocking. The servants let them in but it was too late. Jar'Don, T'Pol, and T'Lana had already packed and moved their things to the cottage and were gone.  
Security knew the mine personnel would fight to the death to protect them, so they gave up the pursuit.

**The Lost Trill (Struggle) Chap twelve / Segment Two.**

Our first voyage with this huge ship went without a hitch. We were met at the midway point by the convoy and all was breathing a lot easier seeing this huge battle curser escorting them. One by one each hauler beamed down their loads of supplies. We had to stay in orbit a full day for all the supplies to be off loaded. With this run we made half a year's profit. Our bank account just went from doing ok to rich and I started liking this. After we left Rigel-6 we scooted over to Rigel-7 and picked up two of the four crew members we were supposed to. Two flat out refused to work on any ship supporting and taking orders from the Federation. So we left them behind and set course for DS-9.

Trina was in charge of the crew. Bre'Tal was second in command because she was better at the economics of hauling than I was. She had a way of telling if we were being bull shitted on the shipping cost so we rarely ever got cheated. Also Bre'Tal and I started getting closer. I loved her. It was thought that she would return to Trill and aid Jar'Don but he refused. So I asked her to stay with me. Trina and me were still good friends and from time to time we had our fun, but Bre'Tal was it for me. Four hours later we arrived at DS-9 and found it being straifed by herogion raders. The same ones who wanted that load of supplies from the dead captain's ship. We increased to Warp 4 and blew through the cluster destroying two ships with our first volley.  
Colonel Kira's eyes went wide when she saw our battle cruiser on her screens. She hit her coms and said I don't know who you are but right now I owe you a drink just keep them off our backs till we get the Defiant launched. We swirled about and fired a set of torpedos and blew one ship into another. Both exploded. Their strafing runs damaged the mooring clamps and it took a bit for the explosive bolts to free the Defiant. Now free to navigate it was killing time. Herogion ships fired on our ship and we listed off to one side. Shut down our starbord Nacell and started to pull away sideways. That drew the fire of three ships thinking they had an easy kill. We whirled around and fired our main cannon and vaporized two ships The Defiant came up over the top of our saucer section and blasted the third to peices. She banked to starboard and we banked to Aft and went after the command ship. I fired and hit the shields of the command ship. They had good shields but I still managed to get through and damage their engines.

Like a team we both worked together strafing the large ship. Same battle tactics we all learned at the academy. Our upper saucer cannons fired and found a kink in their sheilds. Defiant pounded it till she split apart. And exploded. We both circled around the base making sure we had clear sectors. I hit my coms. "Elondra to Defiant what is your status" Kira came back we took a couple hits but nothing we can't handle. You? I said Captain Connor here to pick up a load and transport back to Risa. What about DS9. Kira said some damage to two upper pylons Number 3 and 4 nonfunctional. You handle yourself pretty well in a fight. I said not my first time around but Herogons are the worst.

They are sneaky bastards once they target something they want they will fight to the death. Suggest you send security to go through the shipment and let's see what is so valuable to them. Kira said 'Good Idea" Meet me at the security officers office for now dock on Pylon 5 we have to come around and dock temporally at another spot till they repair our usual spot on the ring. I said understood Connor out.  
It took some finding but Bre'Tal and I found the office. Kira was waiting with a man called Odo. I said this is my union, Elondra Bre'Tal Dax. And Im Jarod Connor. Odo shook my hand saying so you're the one I have been hearing all the chatter about. "Man of Two Worlds".  
Kira was wide eyed with shock shaking my hand she gushed it's really nice to meet you. Please sit down.

She asked so you're from Trill. I said yes, we both are. Kira asked do you know anything about an Ezri Dax? She went back home after the dominion war and nobody can tell us anything about her. I noticed Bre'Tals twitch but said nothing. I said sorry I haven't heard anything at all but Risa central space station just went on line about three months ago. I have an Admiral friend that works there. I will find out what I can and let you know. Kira said thank you. She was a good friend. So I'm curious. How does it feel to be attached to two worlds.  
Smiling I said confusing at times. My stay on earth was not a pleasant one. Odo was looking through a pad. He said I can understand that. Losing your friend Jinko really hurt you. I bit my lip and Bre'Tal took my hand. I said he was a good friend. I still miss him. Odo sensed he pushed too far and said I'm sorry here is the coordenance of his home world. It's not far. Just about ten light years away.

He downloaded the course on to a pad and gave it to me. I took it and put it in my pocket. Kira tried to break up the awkwardness and said how about that drink? I said, Love one then we need to examine that shipment. Odo can you scan for biogenics? Kira's smile vanished. I said, it would explain why they were willing to commit such forces for one ship. and from your scans Odo it seems they went out of their way not to hit the ship with their strafing runs. Odo leaned forward and looking right at me said we think alike. I will get started with the preliminary scans.  
I said coordenate with Trina. We can beam up each pallet as you clear them so they will be out of your way. I said if I remember correctly, Odo here was your union. Kira bit her lip saying he is but he has to go back to the founders soon. He can only stay for a few days a year. He is going and I am taking some leave. I was supposed to go to Risa for some relaxation. I guess I will ride with you if you don't mind. Snickering I have 600 suites and 200 births you can choose from. There is plenty of room. We went to Quarks bar and ordered up some drinks. I walked over and surprised Kira. I hollered "Quark", you old swindler. He whirled around and hollered back "Connor" you old pirate.

How have you been I heard about your ship. Too bad I said that's all right I got me a new one and pointed to the battle curser. He took one look and said remind me to never piss you off again. I said you mean like when you swindled me on that Borite shipment? Quark said we are even you got me pretty good on that Galanite shipment.

I shook his hand and said Ok were even. Call it a truce. Kira said three drinks set up at that booth over there. Quark knodded to Kira. We sat down and he came over with a tray and laid out the drinks. I set a bar of Gold pressed latinum on his tray. Quark piped up saying thank you I said that's ok I sold that Borite for double profit. Consider it a tip. I mumbled just so the girls can hear and said watch this. He got about half way back to the bar and I pulled out a scanner. he heard it and turned around acting all offended. I grinned big and waved the scanner in my hand. I said Just keeping you honest Quark. I know about how you water down your drinks. He snarled and walking back to the bar he said I would have been offended if you didn't. All three of us snickered and Quark muttered old bastard.

I laughed and said That's Mr. Bastard to you old friend. The girls cracked up. Kira said You and him must go way back. I said we do watch yourself around him he will steal the change out of your back pockets and since that cute butt of yours has no back pockets you really better watch him. Bre'Tal smacked my arm. We all laughed. I said Hey what was that for I told the truth. Bre'Tal saw her way in and sighed giving Kira a wicked look, She bit her lip saying it is kind of cute. By now Kira was three shades of red blushing and laughing. She settled and said thanks for that. I needed that laugh. Bre'Tal said being away from your man is ruff sometimes. Perhapse you should find a female friend to union with. Kira snorted part of her drink I gave her my napkin so she could clean up.

Bre'Tal snickered. I said on Trill there are no gender boundaries. Most Daxs have had both male and female hosts. Kira said you don't have one of those. I said I'm only half trill. My Human half would cause the Dax to reject me. But if I could, I would. Bre'Tal shot me a look. I knew I was going to get an ear full when we got back.

**The Lost Trill (Struggle) Chap twelve / Segment four.**

As we loaded the next to last pallet of supplies on board ship Odo found something. He opened the container. Hidden among the case of bio memetic gell was several Biogenic concussion bombs. The explosion would kill ten fifteen people around the blast. The Bio toxin would spread through the entire planets eco systen and kill every living thing on the whole targeted planet. Kira was panicked. She said Odo please be very gentle. DS9 is a sealed biosphere.

One leak and everything here will be dead in hours. I gently took a look and said Odo there is a crack in one of the containers. It's not leaking yet but if we move any one of these and the weight shifts we are all goners. I said stand back for a moment I have an idea. I pulled out my phaser and Tig welded one corner of the metal container to the deck. I said Odo, Back away slowly step lightly no stomping. I did the same. Everybody let's get out and seal this compartment. I adjusted the timer on the airlock docking clamps for a two minute delay and signaled, Bre'Tal, no time for questions position our ship just above the damaged vessel. And beam us all up quickly. Before anybody could object we shimmered and vanished.

We appeared I said follow me we ran out to the lift all got in and I said bridge. The lift took us straight there. Activate the tractor beam minimal power. Just enough to stop the old ships movment. The docking clamps detached and the ship moved I hollered Now!. We grabbed the craft and gently moved it away from DS9.  
I waited till we were almost to the corona of Bajors sun and sling shot the ship straight into her. Once we cut power and veered away. I got on the coms and said everybody hold on to something. and then I punched the ship into warp, for only a moment to get some distance. We dropped out of warp and watched.. Kira looked at me then she lit up like a light bulb and hugged me. I said, the radiation will kill the jell the rest will vaporize when the ship blows. Looking at my watch I said that means just about...Now! The flash was super bright the shock wave hit us hard. The corona mass ejection came right behind it as we barely moved out of the way.

The CME ejected off safely into space. I hit my coms and said Elondra to DS9. The danger has passed all are aboard and uninjured. We are all safe and on our way back. I drove the ship around and gently pushed her back to DS9 and gave the controls to Bre'Tal. I gave her a very passionate kiss. More importantly, I let Kira and all the rest see it. Bre'Tal is very protective of me. She has seen me at my worst and I can be real bad. We docked and the Commander was waiting on us. We all shared a drink as the commander and I filled the after action report for the Federation.  
After wards I said well Kira its time to get your gear and get on board. She said I have to wait till Odo leaves he always comes by to say good bye. He buzzed the door and said Hello everybody. Well I have to leave now. I looked at Jack and said Jack, what say you give me the quick tour of ops and loan your office to these two love birds for some privacy for a couple moments. We all filed out Kira mouthed a Thank you to me as I walked past. The door closed and they were alone. Everybody in ops could tell how hard it was for her to let go of her man. They talked and hugged and kissed many times then they went off in a corner for a moment out of site from the door glass. After, Odo walked out looking down and stepped over to the transport pad and said beam me aboard my shuttle. Kira didn't come out Jack and I and Bre'Tal went back inside. We found Kira sitting in the corner all balled up.

Bre'Tal rushed to her and held her lovingly to her chest as she sobbed. Jack sat back down at his desk and just watched He was worried about her. Every time it tears her up doing this. I wish she could let him go and find another to love. They try so hard she needs real rest. I said Jack can any body beam from your office?  
The rest at ops shouldn't see her like this. I looked at Bre'Tal she said agreed in her state right now she would feel humiliated. I reached down and scooped her up in my arms I said Jack I swear she will be protected. He said I know good luck my friend and thanks for today. I said any time. He flipped a switch and Bre'Tal signaled for beam out we shimmered away to the ship. Bre'Tal had a suite made up on the same deck as ours just two doors down. I carried her in my arms and Bretal went in with me. She undressed and pulled the sheets down I gently laid her down on the bed and gave her her pillow Bre'Tal slid in with her to comfort her as she rested.

I pulled up the sheets and blanket and left her in Bre'Tals care. And went back out quietly. Trina was waiting with questions. I took her into our room and Trina asked who is she. I said that is just a guest. a friend and she has had a real ruff time of it lately. Star Fleet and Bajora mandated she leave for a rest on Risa to help her. And we are going to help her so please be nice to her. I gave her a kiss and Trina grinned and said I will see you later ok? I said Ok and we went out the door down the hallway and up to the bridge and got underway... We set course for Risa and dispatched a message. Admiral, Lost two pallets when found Biogenetic jell bombs mixed with cargo. Old ship was destroyed in the blast. Will fill you in more upon arrival. All the rest is safe and we are on our way. Trina went down to the hold and supervised the cargo storage. Our crew liked it when she came down. They would whistle at her as she barked her orders.

From time to time she would play a bit but she knew discipline from her Republican Guard days. Pay Day was better now so the crew was happier. When we get to Risa. I'm going to rent the crew a private island and another for myself and the girls. The Crew will have some pleasure girls visiting and if they behave, they can stay. Otherwise its banishment to the lower decks of the ship.

**The Lost Trill (Help) Chap thirteen / Segment One.**

Kira started to mind fogged by breathing the scent of Bre'Tals Pheramones. She was more relaxed than she ever was Bre'tal always slept naked. She rolled over and said good morning. Don't worry. Nothing was done we transported you to our ship from the office so the Ops people wouldn't see you. It still hurts doesn't it. Kira let big tear fall. Bre'Tal I love him, but this time was the worst. I told him when he goes to stay and not come back. I can't do this anymore. The last time it took me months to feel anywhere near normal again. Bre'Tal slipped out of bed and let Kira see all of her. Kira gasped WOW! You are so beautiful. You remind me of...Kira caught a lump in her throat. Bre'Tal came over to her side of the bed and knelt down. Do I remind you of your friend Ezri?

Kira shook her head and had more tears falling. She said, No There was another. We called her Jadzia. We shared personal times together. She was killed on DS9. It tore all of us up pretty badly. Bre'Tal said come with me. She offered her hand. After some moments of hesitation Kira took hers and sat up. She asked where are my clothes? Bre'Tal pointed, over there in the chair. In the night you got hot and sweaty and were sleeply pulling at them. I helped you. Just your outer garments. Then you got comfortable and went back to sleep. Bre'Tal helped her up and Kira gave in to her passions and kissed Bre'Tal. She said you are in need. Bre'Tal scooped her up in her arms and walked into the bath. She set her back down on her feet and started the tub with rose water and added scents. When she turned. Kira had taken off her other garments. Bre'Tal gently caressed her saying beautiful. You unioned with Jadzia didnt you. Kira whispered only once. She had a way of going inside me helping me to feel things I have never felt before.

I'm standing here shivering and scared out of my mind but all of me needs this.. All of me want this. She took her hand and led her into the tub. They bathed and warmed each other as the tub filled. Both their minds became lost in their passions. It was a very long bath.  
It was high noon when I stopped by to see about the girls. I buzzed the door a couple of times. With no answer I entered the unlock code and it opened. I peaked and saw Kira's garments in a chair and smelled the scent of a rose water bath and grinned wickedly. I slowly walked up Bre'Tal long ago memeorized my footsteps. She rose up and said Shhhhhh She is sleeping. I could tell from that glass eyed look in her eyes they had unioned. I gently sat down on the side of the bed and rubbed her shoulder Kira woke up slowly. Her eyes were all glazed over. I said shhhhh don't rise up too fast. You were beyond exhaustion.

Totally upset and sobbing. We beamed you directly to our ship. No one in Ops saw or heard you. The Captain said I had a long talk with the Bajoran council. Many still feel the pain of lost loved ones.  
Your leave has been extended to indefinite. Their orders are to sleep, rest, eat, play to your hearts content. But No Work of any kind. Now, for the next order of the day, "Food" I got up and walked over to the replicator. Lets see, Eggs, Bacon, Sausage - mild, Gritts, Coffee, some cream and milk. Both Kira and Bre'tal stared at each other. I asked Bre'Tal your usual salad? She said, yes please. I asked either of you want any Orange juce? There was silence. Instantly I knew I had put my foot in my mouth. I looked down for a second, and then over to the girls in bed both was red with blushing. Kira snickered and said nope. Already had mine. All three of us fell out laughing.

**The Lost Trill (Help) Chap thirteen / Segment Two.**

On board the Vulcan ship The chamber was dimly lit. The old ambassador asked what is this all about. T'Pow walked up and said It's about. Vulcan law's and Vulcan rights. An accusation has been made. It has been proved by means of seeing the act through a mind meld T'Pel stepped into a column of light. T'Pow pointed to her and said you savagely beat and whipped this Vulcan Senator into acquiescence to do your bidding.

The old ambassador said that thing is a sirranite. It was the only way to get her to bring that mongrel child. T'Pow said Really, I just beamed down and spoke with their king and arraignments were made. In the darkness T'Pol spoke. "Mongrel Child" That is not a logical statement. Your voice is tinged more with anger than logic. Is your Pon Far Near? T'Pow placed three fingers on his head and checked. She said no. His heart is twisted. He is yours to deal with as you see fit. T'Pow walked away and the lights went up. T'Pol stood at one end of the walled deck. The Ambassador stood at the mid way point. T'Pel walked over to T'Pol and took her robe. Others one deck up were watching.

Her robe carried their family crest T'Pel held it up for the witnesses to see and then marched over to where she previously stood. Her eyes were as dark and filled with both rage and fear for her daughter. Loyal to her logic, she showed no emotion. T'Pol knew the Vulcan rite well silently she pulled out her swords from the crissed crossed scabbards of her holders. The old ambassador was incredulous. You mean you want me to fight this little child? T'Pow said "SILENCE" , Then he knew this was serious. if he spoke again he would forfit the match and be killed. He took off his ambassador robes and wadded it up in a tight ball and tossed it away. T'Pol stood there her eyes filled with rage well beyond anything these Vulcan's ever knew about. She crossed her swords before her chest spin around, knelt down and said to her mother, "Choose which sword to bare your blood" T'Pel said I choose and placed her hand on the right one and squeezed. The green blood trickled down the blade.  
T'Pol sheathed the other and then Holding out and presenting the bloody sword by laying it across her left arm she walked over to T'Pow. Stopping two steps away she knelt down and presented the sword. T'Pow asked This is the family sword? T'Pol said, "forged by my father's hand" She looked and saw the Trill crest of Jar'Don. Then she knew this far more serious to her than she knew. She bowed in acceptance.

T'Pol Stood and held aloft for the witnesses to see the blood. Then she drew out the other sword and tossed it over at the feet of the Ambassador T'Pow was surprised. She said hold. She took a step and said child This rite is to the death. Are you sure? T'Pol bowed to T'Pow. She said what's done is done and cannot be undone.

She raised up and said also, Its logical. The two stared at each other for a long moment. then T'Pow bowed to T'Pol saying It is. She stepped back and slapped her hands together. The match had started. Instantly the ambassador wanted to make quick work of this mongrel child. She defended herself honorably and tied up his sword in hers. She pushed him back to the center of the arena to get some moving room and twisted her sword cutting off a finger. He kicked her hard in the guts and pulled away managing a tip cut across her face.

Not to be out done T'Pol swirled back around the opposite way and got a nice long tip cut across his chest. Both stumbled backwards breathing hard. T'Pel held up her hand. T'Pow slapped her had together and said hold. T'Pel said look at both. They are used to the air of Trill not this ship or Vulcan. T'Pow said give them water. Both were tended to. After a moment, their aids were told to leave the arena. Quickly T'Pel whispered "Focus". T'Pol calmed herself. Gritting her teeth she stood crouched on one dise favoring her her right. She backed away as he pursued.  
He saw an opening and wanted to finish this child once and for all. That's when he overreached and was off balance. T'Pol's sword cut off his right leg at mid calf. She came up and with a swift upper cut took his right arm. Spinning around she grabbed the hair of her enemy and precisely sliced it off right between the vertebrae. The dead body fell over backwards with a dead cold thud. Now it was up to T'Pol to finish the ceremony. Dragging her foot behind her she grabbed the severed head and barely made it across the fighting line. Straining she went back to her knees and set the head at your feet.  
She took a couple of deep breaths and said "Mother, Your transgression has been avenged. Justice has been served. T'Pow clapped her hands once more and said aloud. The rite has been followed to the letter. Justice has been served. Dispose of the debri out the nearest airlock. "To the winner, your wounds will be tended and your honor restored. You will be taken to your mother's home to heal and become strong again. After 6 months you will attend the Vulcan science institute. The previous threats against you your mother and all your people will be as it never happened.  
Guards and assistants started for T'Pol she held her sword in a menacing position for a second but then dropped it in her mother's hand.  
As T'Pow turned to leave an evil figure in the dark said her training into the arts of killing. Is remarkably accurate. T'Pow said she is never to be harmed. If I find out differant. you will soon discover just how accurate my ability to kill is. The shadow bowed and said understood my lady. T'Pow escorted them to their quarters and the medical staff tended to their needs.

**The Lost Trill (Help) Chap thirteen / Segment Three.**

Ships log, Captain Connor speaking. After dealing with the smuggled cargo and the smugglers ship. We managed to leave DS9 Peaceably. but I sense a false calm around us. I have ordered continuous scans all around us as we go I increased our speed to warp-6. Now I must help with a damaged cargo of another sort. Kira feels like a woman without a world. Bre'Tal has done her job well. Her union with Kira has helped greatly but as all soon find out. True change comes from inside. Not out...I signaled Bre'Tal and she guided Kira from her tour to the holodeck. as the door opened and closed behind them the warm sun soothed their bodies. A holographic recreation of the Habootian baths along with naked pleasure girls and washing tables and message tables.

Kira pulled back on Bre'Tal she was embarrassed and scared. She said I'm not ready for all this. Bre'Tal asked Why? you have a beautiful body. Between war and Odo you have kept to yourself. You have forgotten how to turn the head of a man. To allure him. To draw him in. I called out computer remove the people. I stepped up out of one of the tents with another pleasure girl in hand. I said you to sweetie. She grinned and vanished. Kira was transfixed on the sight of my body. From my knees down I looked Trill. But from my knees up I looked more human. My swim suit was a little tight. Blushing I had to turn away from her to adjust myself, I walked over to her and we all sat down in the lounge chairs. I said I'm sorry. What you saw was a capture of normal life on Trill. I should have known it would be too much from you right now. First, we are three days to Risa.

After that, If you don't learn to relax and come back out of yourself I believe you will waste the whole trip hold up in some hotel reading a book and getting hammered on Mai Tais or something else.  
To explain, as a trill one is free to have as many unions as they want from both males and females. Their internal body organs are set to consume the fluids that are exchanged during climax as fuel for their bodies. From age 18 to age 25 this is what they do that is why most the pleasure girls are so very young. No one is ever forced to do anything they don't want to do. Now after 25 things can get dicey as the organs start to change and start the replication process. What you call Pregnancy. Bre'Tal is nearing that age.

She wont be able to comfort others as she used too. Holding her hand I looked at her and said, That is why I have chosen her to no longer be my union but be my wife. Great tears fell from her face as she heard the words she dared never to hope to hear. This is our last time of sharing with others. I have already informed Trina. She was upset but she understood. Kira said, I don't think I will ever feel comfortable with any other man. I sat up and said your right. You won't. At least not till you learn to take a chance. Bre'Tal here could use her pheremone scent to fog your mind and then give you to me but I've ordered her not to. I crouched up and went tense Kira got worried and Bre'Tal climbed over by my side to rub my back she said Jason, No.. I leaned over and kissed her.  
Bre'tal said bad place don't go back. I said, she loves me very much. She doesn't want me to go back and relive those memories again. Perhaps she is right. It's just when I saw you there in that office sobbing like that it brought a lot back. I knew I had to help you or you would destroy yourself. Kira asked are you sure? How did you know this. I said because when I was there I almost did. Kira I will help you as much or as little as you want. I care about you and want you happy.. letting out a sigh. Its been a long day. Let's go back, I'm Tired. Bre'Tal said, I must union with him tonight. We are just across the hall. If you get scared. Come, buzz the door I will let you in.

**The Lost Trill (Help) Chap thirteen / Segment Four.**

That night after the evening meal, Kira went to her room and Bre'Tal stayed with Jason in theirs. It was heavily muffled, but if Kira came over to the door and listened sharply she could clearly hear the moans and groans of Jason and Bre'Tal clearly enjoying themselves.  
Intently interested she snooped for a few moments and then started to feel embarrassed. Kira showered and steamed herself. And went to bed. After a few hours the ship quieted down and the hum of the engines was the only noise. Kira drifted off to sleep for a few hours but then woke up all restless. She couldn't get the site of Connors body out of her mind.

Kira buried her head in the pillow chiding herself, He's just a man. But he's two men all rolled into one. Finally, an hour later, completely frustrated Kira got up and threw on her robe and went across the hall. Sheepishly Kira buzzed the door and after a couple moments Bre'Tal opened it and allowed entry. Kira whispered, I can't sleep. Bre'tal looked and smiled. She took Kira by the hand and offered her the bed. Kira hesitated but then took off her robe and climbed in. Bre'Tal climbed in and they snuggled up together totaly ignoring Jason.  
Their sleep was peaceful and sweet. It was very early in the next morning when Kira woke up all snuggled over with Jason. Her head resting on his chest and they hadn't done anything. She had to admit this special man smelled wonderful. She sleeply opened her eyes and he opened his. He didn't move just said hi. Kira was nervous, embarrassed but somehow very attracted to had an impetuous streak that her friend Jadzia used to like. Kira rose up and gave Jason a very long and passionate kiss. He whispered you are very beautiful. Kira whispered you are beautiful too. Slowly over time their kisses got longer.

She snuggled up to him and she reached under the covers and what she found blew her mind with the possibilities. He whispered you don't have to do this. Kira whispered I want too after that it was all passion at full speed as both began to make wild passionate love to each other. It was like both suffered from the same addiction to each other.

Neither knew how long they were sharing nor did either care.  
It was well past noon when Bre'tal Found them asleep in each other's arms. She stepped just inside and the door closed and said finally. She went to go set up the bathroom. Both had woken sleepily and snuggled back down holding on to each other. Bre'Tal came back out and snickered. She took off her clothes and sat in a chair at the foot of the bed staring at them. After a few moments both woke up and Bre'Tal said. Jason Connor, You wicked man. Both turned several shades of red with embarrassment. Bre'Tal tried to hold her face but just couldn't. She started snickering and then everybody fell out. Kira rolled over on her back and just started howling with laughter. It was her first time sense she left and it felt good. What had he all knotted up inside was coming loose. The beautiful woman she was so many years ago was just now beginning to bloom again.

**The Lost Trill (Joy and Sorrow) Chap Fourteen / Segment One.**

Like a woman just awakining from a century long dream she blossumed before our eyes. No longer any timidity. No longer any frear. Rising up out that bed she felt good. She felt whole. It was a power Bre'Tal couldn't ignor. She walked over into an embrace of unbridled passion. Bre'Tals eyes spirkled like shimmering stars. She pulled back and said your heart is free. Welcome home "Woman of Kira"They kissed more as Conor got up out the bed. The bed sheets were a lost cause to clean so they were thrown into the waste and new sheets applied. All rejoiced in their new found connection of passion and love as they laughed bathed and last test had come. Kira stood at the door of the holosuite. Running inside was the very program that had frighten her so much just a few days before. She looked at the control readouts and smiled stepping through on her barefoot toes Kira now stood in the sun ready to brighten it far more than ever before. She looked around and smiled at some of the pleasure girls as they started to take notice.

Kira looked up at the sun took a deep breath reached back and untied the bow holding her magnificent sun dress on and just let it drop to reveal to all present her magnificent curves and silouette. Kira felt no fear as the Pleasure girls stared gasped and backed away as she walked the isle of Joy all the way to the lagoon.

Every eye was on her following each and every step. Taking delight at the flex of each and every muscle as it shone in the sun She took one step after another. She was walking slow to give everybody a good show. Taking a side ways glance at the gawkers as she walked past. Finally reaching the cool of the ephervesant waters she dived forward as her glorious body glistened in the sun. Her fear met. Her fear destroyed. Kira was now changed. She was whole and felt more like the woman she was at her youth. Over the years she had surrendered tiny bits and peices of her life to hundreds of others. No more and never again. No Vedic or Star fleet officer will ever rule her spirit again. And at last the bond she carried with Odo was shattered and would never tare her soul as it once did.  
Kira was free..

**The Lost Trill (Joy and Sorrow) Chap Fourteen / Segment Two.**

The joy of one would not last as the blasts started shaking the ship. The mad scramble for the door took place in almost an instant. Kira leaped out of the pool and put on her dress and flew out the door. The phulton lightwaves that caused the wetness of her hair and body vanished as she crossed through the event horizon just behind those doors. Her eyes once clouded with fear, doubt, and years of sorrows were clear as the water she leaped out of. In the place of all that once was the fire of anger kindled within. Fury at anybody who would hurt her friends. She ran full force into the open lift and waited as it screamed its way up the shaft to the bridge.

The ship was rocked and buffeted by the blasts. Kira ran out and leaped over the chair like a gazelle. And said, Captian Connor give me tactical. I said, you got it. Trina take over weapons and sheilds. Bre'Tal Navagation. Hard about. Keep them off our Dorsal shield. Kira said, I have a lock, "FIRE". Our beam streaked out and split the Tralix fighter in half. Now, like a hungry mother seeking to feed her own she went after another and another slicing them to pieces. Their command ship was different. It had a star drive that let them pop in and out of subspace. We were being pounded being attacked from all vectors. Fires were started on all decks. The suppression system, kept them at bay except for the one nearest the deuterium shipment. Our crew was working their asses off trying to save the load and the ship.

Moments ago, Bre'Tal had leaped into the lift and was gone. Now she was out there free floating in space hiding just behind the port nacelle. Bre'Tal saw a pattern and said to herself "This ones mine". Sure enough he reappeared and Bre'Tal took the shuttle out fron under the huge nacell and turned straight up. She opened fire damaging the under belly of the command ship. It tried to reenter subspace but Bre'Tal was holding fire on his sheilds so he couldn't reatenuate them for subspace entry.  
To the cheers and horror of everybody on the bridge they could do nothing to help but get a transport lock. Then she spiraled up into the ship nearly slicing it in explosion threw us all around the deck. Just then, her form shimmered in on the deck of the bridge. The screams of joy vibrated the walls and every deck plate on the bridge.  
Twenty minutes later we were escorted in. Damaged and bleeding of both ship and crew. Our starboard nacelle was leaking drive plasma so we shut it down. Medical crews from Risa arrived in shuttles. Fire crews put out all the fires. Three bulkhead doors were blown to suck out the plasma fires into space and stop the destruction. We had won the victory but lost a couple guys in doing so. Death could always hollow out all the joy of a victory. Little did I know how it would hollow out my heart. Kira broke her leg but hardly ever winced with any pain. Bre'Tal was banged and bruised from head to foot. Trina broke off one of her antenna and was sporting a really big black eye.  
Five ships, one command ship. It was obvious this was payback for what we had done to the smugglers shipment. We all looked and felt beat up. I let The Federation repair crews take over my ship.

I was thinking about my oldest love Bre'Tal and my newest love Kira, We hardly said a word as I picked her up and set her in the gurney.  
Our eyes said far more than Bre'Tal needed to know, and Bre'Tal already knew her time was coming to an end. She never felt right ever sence she beamed back aboard the ship. A ship captain was always the last to leave the bridge of his ship. The admiral himself came and shook my hand. He pat me on the shoulder and we left the ship in his own personal shuttle. He asked how do you feel? All I could say was "I feel beat up my friend. Real beat up"

**The Lost Trill (Joy and Sorrow) Chap Fourteen / Segment Three.**

The cast didn't last long. I knew Kira would never ware it. She is too independent a spirit. We laid out on a cabanna sipping drinks. Pretty soon we both were hammered and helped ourselves back to the hotel room. Kira was head strong. When she wanted something she attacked it and made it hers. Our moans and straining nioses filled the night air till early in the morning. The Govoner of Risa heard about our plight and paid for the shipment they got and told all of us we could use any facility we wanted as long as we stayed out of trouble. Little did I know trouble wouldn't be coming from the crew but from me. My ship was only half repaired. The newer engines assured a better power flow ratio and make it easier to track down any trouble.

I went back up to the hospital and crawled in and slept with Bre'Tal. She woke up and whispered Where is Kira. I whispered back at the hotel sleeping one off. Bre'Tal said you need to see to her now. I have way too many burses to tend to her now. I said I will as soon as I tend to you. Bre'Tal said I only have a couple of days of observation, and then they will decide how to release me. I should have known Bre'Tal was speaking in code. Trina got some surgery done to her face and antenna. Bre'Tal, unknown by me had sent for the Trill symbiot retrieval ship. I was helping Kira out of the shower when I heard its shrill engine noise.

I grabbed an attendant and told him to dress and bring her to the hospital. I took off on a dead run to the medical center. By the time I got there the surgeons had just removed Bre'Tal's Dax and Elondra was on her own I shoved everybody away and crawled up on the bio bed and held her in my arms. She held my face in her hand and said I love you and then her hand dropped to the bed and she was gone. I said No Baby. Wake up now. I need you I shook her and then exploded in Screams yelling at the top of mylungs."WHY"  
The doctor tried to give me a sedative. Admiral Nachaeive came and saw all he could say was God not again. The doctor said when she left in the shuttle the transporter had no departure scan so the computer did not know she was pregnant.

When the emergency protocol kicked in The computer accessed its origional files on Bre'Tal and only beamed back part of the baby.  
Her body became infected and went septic. She knew her time was short so she called for us. My mind exploded. I don't remember much from that point. Till now, here in the chapel. Please forgive me. Help me to forgive myself. I am what Kira call's me. I killed all those people. I loved her so much. Our baby would have been beautiful. Kira said Let me go. Kira pointed right at me " MURDERER. BLOODY MASS MURDERER" I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF, CHAPEL OR NO CHAPEL, WITH MY BARE HANDS"  
The admiral wrapped his arms around her waist. Holding her back. He blurts out Star Fleet Pardoned him. He is a real ambassador. You touch him and your career is gone. T'Lana stepped in between us. Kira, Please listen. You don't know the whole story. Something in her voice startled Kira. Looking at T'Lana's eyes. I don't know you or why this scum is with you but, that voice, I... The shock of realization made her eyes go wide and she screamed out in sorrow and pain, "Ezri, is that you? T'Lana started to cry. Kira started to cry and stopped struggling. They both sit down. The admiral relaxes his grip but still held on just in case. He says, I'm sorry Kira, you had just lost ODO. I didn't have the heart to hurt you again.

What happened? Kira asks. T'Lana still crying, Ezri's shuttle crashed and burned. I was so badly burned. My mind screaming with pain I gave everything that I had to keep my Dax alive. I was so badly burned. My arms and legs were gone. My body was all charred and hideous. I told Star Fleet not to tell you till after I was gone.  
God's Kira, Admiral Cartright said, I am so sorry you had to find out like this. Glaring back at the admiral, I will deal with you later. Looking back at T'Lana, Does Julian know? His stone emotion filled voice startled everybody. "I do Now" T'Lana still crying looked up into Julian' eyes. He tried so hard to be brave but the emotion was just too great. He dropped to his knees in front of T'Lana and buried his face in his hands sobbing No-No-No..

I started to speak but knew that now was not the time. Gathering himself, he tells the admiral the vedic called for him to rush here something about Kira being so upset she frightened her. His hands shaking something about a sedative. I see that I might need it too. Looking back at T'Lana with love in his eyes I had to speak. T'Lana this visit was for your benefit as well The Dax symbiot spoke to me while you were asleep. He knew you needed this before starting a new life with me.  
The vedic stepped cautiously over. Vedic Shukara. Kneeling at her feet, I invoke the Bajoran rite of confession. The admiral murmered, Oh Shit. Kira's attention was riveted. She fired back Shut Up. I continued, would you hear my confession with these people as whiteness? The vedic motioned for the doors to be closed and them to guard them from any visitor. Yes, I will hear your confession.  
Shaking I begin. The war was awful for everybody. Without any care for myself and respect for my crew I took one dangerous transport after another. Finally, I was assigned a massive transport of deuterium. I had to travel through an area of space known for pirates. I thought if we passed through at high warp we would clear it before they saw us. Two thirds through our luck ran out and three pirate ships jumped us. The people were Tralix. An evil and vicious people that jumped ships and stole them killing the crews.  
We managed to destroy two ships outright but the third had a different star drive. It was shielded so we could not scan it. I suspect it was Breen.

They could pop in and out of subspace at will and attacked us at multiple angles and vectors. Bre'Tal was monitoring the entire fighting scene and found a pattern the pirate ship did not deviate from. Our ship was taking a pounding. Blast holes and fires everywhere. Much of the crew was trying to keep the load from exploding and destroying the ship. I didn't notice Elondra leave the ship. She loaded a shuttle with five torpedos rigged to detonate on impact. The second the pirate ship popped back into normal space she rammed the shuttle down.  
The explosion of his star drive caused a 20 % degradation of her pattern. The computer automatically used her pattern from history to complete the cycle. What the computer didn't know was Elondra was pregnant. About a week later I was complaining of headaches and she was feeling sick so I took her to Star Fleet medical. She kept getting sicker and sicker. Her DNA was coming apart. Apparently, her body was trying to save a baby that was only partly there inside her.  
I stop and take in a ragged breath. Still shaking, I continue.  
The Doctors did their best but she and the baby died in my arms. I went insane. They tried to stop me. I hurt so many people when I left. I broke one mans arm and another's leg before I finally beamed out. 

I beamed up 300 Torpedo's from the Star Fleet Armory and went on a blood hunt. Jake wanted no part of my quest for revenge so I had him locked under guard in his quarters till it was over.  
I hunted down, savagely tortured, and slaughtered the Tralix in ways that would make a Klingon Cringe. Star Fleet didn't care. They wanted the pirates gone and if I got myself killed so much the better. I tracked them down to the asteroid they were using as their base and home world. I chopped it up slowly so the Tralix could see their death coming. They begged me to stop. I atomized them as they screamed to surrender.

I am what she says. I took and vented my rage and went to war with the Tralix and I slaughtered every man woman and child. Still enraged, I continued to hunt any that may be left. I could not stop my rage. I didn't sleep. I didn't eat. I would cry one moment and laugh the next. Finally, the battle damage took its toll on my ship and a power conduit exploded in the hall way wall next to my head.  
They say I was thrown over 200 feet down the adjoining hallway and splattered against the wall. T'Lana, Kira, everybody sat there stunned into dead silence. Kneeling there, I was shaking so badly I could hardly continue. Holding up my trembling arm and shaking hand. The fire cooked my left arm and leg, my face and much of my chest.

I was rushed to Star Fleet Medical and on top of all my injuries they found another brain aneurysm. The artery had swelled up twice it size and was about to explode. The Doctors said I was insane and had no control over anything. I was in a coma for almost a month when they called for a Vulcan specialist to meld with me and lead me back out. I didn't want to go. He could see all that I did He could feel my pain and sorrow. I told him. I begged him in my mind to let me die.  
Others may pardon me but how do I pardon myself? Shaking so badly, Dr Bashier came and gave me a shot. And gently lowered me to the floor. I begged the Vedic and Kira, Please, I am so sorry, Please forgive me. Then I passed out.

Jake walked in to help carry me. Kira jerked around Jake I'm so sorry, I thought you were in this with him. It's Captain Jake now and this. A small Trill walks up and grabs his hand. This is T'Lil…. Sisko.  
The call for med Tec's was fast. The gurney's came in seconds. Scanning, His artery is swelling. We have to get him out of here now. 

T'Lana was terrified she screamed at Jar'an she jumped up and grabbed my hand. Running another scan the doctor started to relax. Good, the sedative worked. His blood pressure almost blew the top of his head off. Jar'an. Don't leave me. I need you, are son needs you. "WHAT" Startled, Dr. Bashier whirles around and scanned T'Lana. My God. She IS Pregnant. Everybody lets go Now.. Finally in the medical bay Dr Bashier get T'Lana to lay on the bed next to mine. Giving her a Very light sedative to settle her nerves. He puts his hand on her forehead to get her attention. He is going to be all right. Relax, Stop Worrying. It's not good for the baby.

Their Security detail will be tripping out. They will want answers. Dr. Bashier whirled around. I told them your husband had a fainting spell due to high stress and blood pressure. He will be all right Look he is coming to now. Ouch my head hurts. Looking around. T'Lana are you all right? Dr. gently pushes me back down on the bed. "Not so fast mister. You need a little more time to stabilize. What happened? You had a classic High Blood pressure attack. Here take these. One a day and no more stressful events like this. I had to. My wife deserved the truth. Kira, The admiral, You deserve the truth. Turning To T'Lana. I'm sorry honey. I guess I messed everything up." No You didn't" That voice. Kira I raise my hands to guard myself.

Kira stepped up close. She had been crying. She read the entire report said the Admiral. I should have told her sooner but Star Fleet wanted the whole thing locked down and forgotten. When you gave up that information crystal and returned Elondra's ashes the president thought he could make all this just go away. Kira gently pushed my arms back down. I am sorry. I never knew how bad things got. I said, T'Rel has me in theraphy… to help keep me sane. Dr. Bashier looked up at the readouts. Alright your both cleared and can go. Kira and the Admiral help me stand. Let's go to my office. Jake comes help us. Jake still had the bag. We went into Kira's office. The door closed, I said Jake please hand me my bag.

I placed the bag on the floor infront of Kira. The last time I was here I took something you loved So, I am returning something you loved. The bag liquefied and ODO Formed. Kira exploded with delight and jumped into his arms kissing him admiral sat down astonished. Jake beamed. T'Lil not sure of everything grabbed Jakes arm. Jake whispered It's alright this is a good thing. Kira heard him and pulled away from Odo. It's a very good thing.

But how? Odo looked at me. Smiling tiredly, I said you tell her. Kira looked back at Odo. Its Jason here he did it. Back during the war he found a founder in a wrecked ship. He was near death. He put him in a stasis pod and smuggled him back to the home world. Turns out the one he rescued was the leaders son. She offered him anything he wanted. He told her all he wanted was a favor at a future time. Well a few days ago He called in that favor. And asked for me. I can leave when I want. But now, every six months I have to return for one month to reestablish the cure for their disease. So, Now I am the ambassador to the founder's home world. I will discuss any details the Star Fleet and the other ambassadors have and carry their concerns back with me when I rejoin the collective.

Kira was in tears. She was happier than she had ever been. You did all this for me. Brought us all back together. How could I ever thank you? By being happy and letting Jake and the Elondra come by Bajor and DS9 every once and a while to visit. I will never come back to this place if that is what you want. But Jake here had no part of my madness and should not be made to suffer for my actions. Kira let go of Odo for a moment. Walking over to me as I stood she said "You did all this just to apologize" You have no need of any apologies. It is I that am sorry. She slowly embraced me and I shivered with the memories. I asked, Admiral can you release Kira and Odo here for a few days? Why? The admiral asked. Well while we have been gone The Trill Ministry has been setting up a garden wedding in the central courtyard.

Looking at T'Lana,he asked that is if you still want me. The admiral said, Release her? Hell I'm coming to. Smiling, Good if you want we can leave any time."You mean now". Yes it was supposed to be a surprise T'Lana but I thought maybe you had enough surprises. Smacking my arm. "You damned right about that. Don't you ever scare me like that again? Everybody cracks up. Sheepishly, I turn to her and quickly agreed. Then leaned down and kissed her. Everybody laughed again and applauded.

Kira said, "Looks like you met your match. Sheepisly I admitted, I guess I did. They all laughed again. The Admiral said, We will be ready in about an hour. We will follow you in the Defiant. Kira said and by the way The Elondra can come to DS9 but not to Bajor. At least not yet. If they mind their manners I will release the ban from Bajor later. "Agreed" I said. And bid them farewell for now.

I am going to rest back on my runabout. Looking at my ship through the window." Kira said, That's a runabout? I said, Well I did make some design changes. Kira said, I can see that. Turning to the Admiral, Oh and by the way Admiral, here on this padd is the technical specifications for that EMP bomb I stopped the Defiant with. You might find it useful. My chief engineer is very inventive.

**The Lost Trill (Joy and Sorrow) Chap Fourteen / Segment Four. (The Wedding.)**

The trip back to Trill was uneventful. I was resting. Jake was piloting and T'Lana and T'Lil were in the back gossiping again. T'Lana blushed. Yes, I know, Rubbing her belly, And he has good aim too. Giggling...T'Lil reached out and touched T'Lana's belly. The baby kicked. Oh wow does it hurt? Giggling, well no but when he kicks my bladder it's not fun. They both giggle. T'Lil continues, is it different when you are pregnant? T'Lana bit her lip, A little but God he feels so good inside me. I just start to vibrate and then I'm gone.

T'Lana Laughs, yes our son is kicking like you would not believe, I spend allot of time in the bathroom. Other than that I am madly in love with me husband to be. Jar'an was awake and the girls didn't know it. I chimed in to their shared mental conversation. And your husband to be is madly in love with you. T'Lana you forgot to delink with me. T'Lana blushed, Sorry honey. Jar'an poked his head around the opening of the door. Staring at the both of them and gave them both a wicked grin. The girls blushed beat red giggling and hiding their faces.

Jar'an continued: By the way. If you both look under the seat covers, you will find two boxes. I just transported the other box over to the Defiant. The girls pulled out the boxes and opened them. Gasping with wonder. T'Lana's wedding dress was white with sequins and pearls. It was shockingly beautiful. T'Lil's Bridesmaid outfit was a beautiful sky blue. T'Lil, can you please help T'Lana get dressed? Thank You. T'Lana T'Lil are now talking where the boys can't hearthem, and thinks about a wonderful plans. Meanwhile over on the following Defiant, Kira opens the box. Gasping with excitement she exclaims. It's so beautiful. I got to hurry and get this on.. T'Lana and T'Lil finally finished getting dressed and ready for the wedding, Omg, T'lana you look beautiful. Tlana, fluffed T'Lil's dress, T'lil you look great yourself. Jar'an Chimed in with his mind. Oh, T'Lana we have one surprise guest for our wedding. Along with nearly everybody on the planet of course. It's being broad casted all over Trill. I took over the piloting of our ship from Jake so he could change. He went down to check on our surprise guest. Dr. Bashier was already dressed and pacing. T'Lana Links with her mind, go away you can't see me until the wedding. I chimed back Laughing, Then stop looking at mirrors. I can see what you see remember? T'Lana stomps her foot. "Damn it. Jar'an just continued Laughing.. You do know I bought that dress don't you. It's from Earth. Similar to one my mother wore at her wedding. I saw a picture and knew it was the right dress. T'Lana say's Yes, but you're not suppose to see me until we are married.

Jar'an yelled back to the girls. Well you don't have long we are about to achieve orbit. Your Vulcan friends have returned and will be attending. T'lil, you and I and Jake and our guest will be transporting down first to kind of set things up. Ok? We beam down and get our eyes used to the sunshine. The music playing in the background was the same love song her father sung to her when she was young. T'Lil started to cry, Oh Jar'an, its perfect. You thought of everything. Jake here helped. He did most of the communication with the ministry and the ambassadors. T'Lil's eyes went wide Dr. Bashier! Why are you here? Nervously composing himself, I was asked to give away the bride. I didn't want to do it at first but Jar'an here convinced me that it would help me say good bye to Ezri. Placing my hand on the Dr.'s shoulder, I added, And it will help T'Lana as well.

I pulled out my communicator Yes Jake, is everybody ready? Beam down Kira. She shimmered into view and the audience began to stand. Kira walked down the aisle to the half way point and took her position, standing to the right of T'Lana's spot Bashier to the left. T'Lil and Jake stood up front on the flower covered stage. I ran up to take my place and smiled at the minister. I called out in my communicator Energize. The music restarted and T'Lana began to shimmer into view. The whole audience gasped with astonishment. Standing there all in white with a glittering diamond crown holding her vale down. Her dress glittered in the sunshine with every step.

T'Lana smiles seeing everyone there, omg, Jar'an looks so handsome so do the rest of the people here. As she neared the mid waypoint Dr. Bashier and Kira took their places. Dr Bashier raised her vale and lightly kissed her on her cheek and replaced the vale. He took her arm and arm and walked with her, the rest of the way to the stage. Everywhere you looked, people was gathered watching, crying, and smiling. T'Lana , all teary eyed and smiling as her friends escort her down the isle, looking at everyone standing. Thousands and thousands stood quiet, gasping with astonishment as she walked past. Others in the courtyards watched the ceremony on huge monitors. All of Trill is watching this.

Finally, we make it to the stage and walk up the ramp. Her father wa all chocked up he gave her a small kiss and stood beside Kira as took her place on your side with T'Lil. You stood there with Dr. Bashier. The minister raised her hand. The music stopped and all went silent. Who gives this woman away? In a loud voice "Dr Bashier spoke "I do" he turned his hand a little shaky, he raised your vale.

He whispered in your ear, "Good by Ezri". "I will always love you". He lightly kisses your cheek again and turns and nervously walks over to Jakes side. The last steps T'Lana took to stand in front of me took my breath away. I say in my mind, "You are stunning"..T'Lana Answered, In our shared mind link, "You are so handsome". The minister signaled for all to be seated and began the ceremony. "All of Trill hear me". Today we rejoice not only in the union of this great love, but also in the return of one of our "Lost Trill" He has chosen the Trill name Jar'an and he has something to say. Glancing at T'Lana, I tell you in my mind relax. I will make this quick. T'Lana Smiles, Ok honey

Jar'an began to speak; I have traveled far and wide. Visited many planets and met many people. But never, till here, have I ever really felt accepted and loved as I do here on Trill. That is the miracle of Trill. You all did this and I am forever great full. May our love and joy be your love and joy now and forever. Turning back to face you I took your hands in mine. The minister begins. When love binds two of our kind together we are all called upon to share our joy. The love you two share lights the sky's inside our hearts and ours. You are now called upon to share with each other what resides in your own heart.

Still holding your hands I take a deep breath. T'Lana, most people are if they are lucky, are blessed to find love once in their lifetimes. I never thought I'd ever have a chance at love again. But the God's saw the hole in my soul and took pity on me and brought us back together. Never, have I ever loved and felt such love and contentment in my life. Your love has healed the wounds and scars no man can see. Nor any doctor can heal. All That I am, and all that I have is yours. Mind, body, soul, and Spirit. T'Lana , her hands shaking, took her deep breath and began: In all my travels to many worlds my heart cried inside me. I never thought we would ever be together again. We knew what love was as T'lana Tigan.

Now, I am the 9th host of Dax, my life and world changed when I was asked and given the honor becoming who I am today. But when I met you, you changed my life and my families life forever. You have shown me love and honor and respect. When I was given the honor to explain to you about Your Trill Heritage and help you with receiving your new Trill name Jar'an. You showed me the beauty and preciseness of love. Jar'an, All I have, mind, body, soul and Spirit is yours I love you my Jar'an. With all of my heart now and forever.

We both turn and knelt down before the minister. She smiled and placed one hand on my head and one hand on her's. The bond of marriage is a sacred one for all your live's. It began in love and is now complete, releasing us "Now turn and share your joy and love with all your Trill brothers and sisters" As we stood, the whole world faded away all I saw was your eyes. I drew you close and kissed you with unabashed passion in front of everybody. Breathlessly, as we parted our lips, the minister turned us to the assemblage. People of Trill I am honored and proud to introduce you to Jar'an and T'Lana Connor. The whole assemblage stood applauded and cheered. I drew our friends close on the stage and said "Thank you all for this."  
They smiled and greeted us as they walked off the stage.

The minister came up to us and together we walked down the ramp to greet the crowd. The Vulcan Ambassadors were seated in front. And stood first. Greeting us formally, May you live long and prosper. As one we both repeated the greeting to them and thanked them for their effort to attend and witness this ceremony. They said it was no effort. As you have said and know full well. We do not show our feelings in public. But we do still have them. We are returning to Vulcan. We will be back in one week.

I trust that will be a satisfactory amount of time. T'Lana said, Thank you, Ambassador. Peace and long life. She gives the Vulcan hand salute. They bowed their head with respect as they turn and walk down into the courtyard and toward the transport pad. Then our Admiral walks up saying, "Wonderful Ceremony". You look stunning. I have never seen you two as happy as you are now. Jar'an, I can hold down the fort for a while. You two go have some fun. Looking down at T'Lana's belly he chuckles and adds while you can. Still chuckling, he walks away. I say in my mind. Why is it every time I have a conversation with that man I feel as if I need a bath? T'Lana Says in your mind, because humans like him, sometimes have dirty minds, and it is not logical to behave in such a manner. Looks at the flowers of our home and how wonderful and beautiful everything is tonight.

They started setting everything up when we left for DS9. I hope you are not mad at me for bringing Dr Bashier. He took some talking to get him to do this but I knew both he and you needed this. T'Lana said, I know I could see into his eyes that he was a little hurt and wishes he could have had this with Ezri. Jar'an asked, Please don't hit my arm again but I do have one last surprise for you. T'Lana Looks at you, what?, I have everything I could ever want or need here and now. Jar'an continued, Well Trill people, when they marry, don't have a reception like humans do. So Admiral Cartright over there put together a little private thing on board the Defiant.

Seeing the Admiral talking to and smiling at a pretty little Trill lady, Chuckling, I remarked, I guess we will be seeing more of the Admiral than we originality thought. T'Lana smiles and giggles, I guess we will, she is my handmaid. She takes care of my every need when were on away missions and she will also be near if I need her when the baby comes. Her name is Arrina. Laughing, I shake my head. God's I just can't get away from these feddies and their monkey suits. T'Lana playfully scolds me saying, Behave my husband.  
She turns and kisses me with so much passion, have I told you how much I love you.

Told me? You show me with every breath. T'Lana Smiles, I need to sit down a little bit honey. Helping her he said, ok, sit here for a minute, I signal for Admiral Cartright to come over. As he walks over he takes his new friend arm and arm.

Raising my eyebrows, I say, I see you found a friend. All he could do is smile. Saying, I may be visiting more often. Rubbing his arm the little trill lady says and I may be giving you a reason to visit. laughing, I say, it's hot and we are ready to go to the Defiant. Looking around, I see everybody else has left so since much of the crowd is almost gone, he said, let's go. Nodding the Admiral taps his com badge and says computer, four to beam up "Energize" We shimmered and were gone. As we arrive on the ship we step off the transporter padd, holding on tight to her husband. T'Lana asked, what are we going to do on board this ship?

Pointing the way, I say, well, down this hall, is the party. Through this door here is some clothes for you to change in. So go and change and I will meet you at the party. It took a minuet but after you changed into your new clothes you join us at the reception. As you walked in I handed you a glass of ice water. The rest of us drank champagne. Admiral Cartright said, A toast, to the bride and groom. May your days of love be never ending. Here-Here they all cheered.

Admiral Cartright walked up and said you all enjoy the party. I have a ship to show off to my visitor here. Shaking his hand, I say, Thank You Admiral for everything. The admiral took his new friend and walked down the hallway arm and arm. I'm thinking in my mind. "Better give her a few days off"". T'Lana sits down to relax and drinks her water and asks for a plate of food. Rubbing her belly to settle the baby, she talks to a few people. Jar'an sat down beside her. As he sips on his champagne he spoke to T'lana with his mind. "Kira looks so happy there with Odo. Sharing little whispers.

T'Lana smiles tiredly, that's good honey. Jake and T'Lil are happy too. I think it's time we take this party to our special little place so we can get some rest. I stand saying, Ok Folks, Thank You all again. Kira here is a little something for standing there in all that heat. She looks at the padd. You have for a couple of days a private little retreat there on Bajor, to go and "Winks" relax. Jake you have a big ship out there with no crew so I think you can find a little private nook to relax in. My lovely wife and I have a date with our brand new home on our private island. Father worked with the servants and security and packed up everything and moved us in while we were gone too. Acting a little nervous, I said, so if you don't mind, we are going home now. Thank you again for everything.

Kira gave me a hug and said, Thank You for the beautiful dress and biting her lip she give Odo a sideways glance, the beautiful..Apology.

**The Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Fifteen / Segment One.**  
(The Birth)

The next couple of days were a blur of passion and the warmth of love. We went out and laid naked on the submerged chase lounge in our pool taking in the warmth of Trills glorious sun

I woke up around 4:00. My lovely wife nestled in my lap. Her beautiful face laid against my chest. I thought to myself, she takes my breath away every time I look at her. Never, have I ever grown to love anybody as much as I love my spotted beauty. I almost didn't want to wake her, but we needed to shower and get ready for our daddy dinner. I nudged you and you grumbled. Stretching, you opened your eyes. Kissing her, I said, we have been sleeping for over three hours. Its 4:00pm. We need to get things ready. Slowly we climbed out of the pool. The sun shinning off your wet Plump body. You looked gorgeous.

Oh Wait I have something for you. I climbed out of the pool and reach into the pocket of my robe as I threw it on. I slid mine on and handed you yours. Here Put this on. Its waterproof so ware it at all times. The wristband slid up and down your arm so it would be comfortable.  
T'Lana said, We must have been really tired honey, kisses you .We need to get going and get dressed. Dad will be here soon. I said, I know honey but this is important look here, This has a button right here when pressed it will automatically shut down the security shield and beam you direct to the hospital. Yours and mine here are set for two people.

I am having Trank, My chief engineer on the Elondra make a batch of 12 for us and some friends and your daddy. Trank first made this one for me to use for emergency beam out when deals go bad and I need to escape back to my ship.  
I reprogrammed both of these to be safe. T'Lana said I love you so much baby, she leaned up against my chest and kissed. She said, ok honey anything to keep us safe and the hospital on stand by. If you have any pain, don't wait for me hit that button and get to the hospital. It's programmed to send an alarm to my communicator.  
T'Lana smiled, Doctor said we would be fine. The baby isn't due until another month. We will be fine, I have the 2 most loving men looking after me. Jar'an said, The doctor also said Jer'el can come early too. So don't take that off for anything ok? Jar'an jumped. Speak of the devil the damn thing goes off. I flip it open Yes.. Oh Trank you have three ready? Good beam them down to my location. Out. flips communicator shut. A small box shimmers on the table. I picked it up and we went inside to shower. We played around a little bit smacking each other with the wet soapy wash cloth and finally got dried off and dressed.

T'Lana walks in holding your arm, smiling from ear to ear. I love you Jar'an. He said I love you too. I sat you down on the bed and asked, What do you want to ware? I will go get it.. T'Lana smiled you spoil me. I said, That's my Job.. T'lana said, Just pick out something simple and easy to put on. When is dad coming over? I put my light colored shirt and Tan pants and sandals. Checking my watch. If he is prompt, in about an hour. Here this is Tan pull over is kind of nice. You raise your hands and I slip it over your neck so you can pull it down. T'Lana said thank you. I reach down to rub your belly. Your birth sack is almost completely hard. Your body is growing fast. Kissing you as I rub. I love you.. T'Lana giggles. I love you too. That feels really good. You are too good to me.

Jar'an smiled wickedly. Yes, I know. I am way too good to you aren't I. Nibbling on your neck I whisper but when I'm bad I'm better. Laughing I help you up and outside to enjoy the cool night air. Seated at the patio table I get you a pitcher of ice water and three glasses  
I bring you a small bowl of melon to snack on while I pull dinner together. T'Lana Smiles, Thank you sweetheart. Ouch ! our son just kicked/Laughs. I leaned down and rubbed your belly to settle the baby down. He is kicking hard. He needs to stop that..I heard your dad walking down the pathway. and the gate open. He hollers out you decent? I looked at you wickedly. You said in my mind "Be Nice"  
T'Lana said talk to your son baby, Giggles he is so young and ready to come soon. I call out to Jar'don. Come ahead we are all covered up. The baby is kicking. I am rubbing when he walks up. I look up, and asked Jar'don You want to feel? T'Lana said go ahead father feel your grandson. Smiles glad my men are here to feel the baby kick. Jar'don took a look around and said yes can I? Come ahead, she is almost ready. Jar'don smiled, Wow!, I can remember you were trying to kick your way out your mom, the last month.

T'Lana Smiles, I have accepted whatever happens the baby must live. I want to do whatever it takes to save his life. Jar'don said Oh wow, He is kicking harder than you did. Jar'an said, And I will do whatever it takes to keep you alive my lady. Jar'don, Here put this on. Its an automatic transport beacon. It will shut down the dome shield and beam you and one more person Direct to the hospital. See she and I have one and now you do. Pulling out a seat next to his daughter I said here have a seat and tell me what you want for dinner. I turned and just started to walk away when I heard in my mind. Honey, I don't feel right. Whirling around I saw you cramp up. Oh Shit, no cramping honey. Cramping is not good.  
I reached down to rub your belly and saw a small trickle of blood running down your leg. You look up at me all frightened and said honey. I scooped you up in my arms. Jar'don jumped up so fast he kicked the chair across the patio. We hit the transport button on our wrist and we vanished. Leaping off the transported pad I placed you on the medical gurney. The Doctor ran over seeing the blood dripping on the floor. I told him the baby was kicking. Could be a birth sack rupture.

T'Lana started Moaning and crying please save our baby, Jar'an help our son.

T'Lana held on to my hand like a vice as we ran down the hall way to the surgery room. Your mind was a whirl of pain and fright. T'Lana was scared and crying. I don't want to lose our baby, Jar'an. The Doctor said, there is not much blood loss. You really got her here quick, probably saved her life. The doctor separated us. You start to panic and then I saw the nurse give you a shot. I start to protest and push my way through the doors and Jar'don put his hand on my shoulder to stop me. I whirled around and was almost stone white. I'm scared Jar'don...I'm really scared... All he could say is I know I am too. Got to let then do their job now.

I pulled out my communicator. Jake are you there? How many of our crew on board.. Good tell everybody planet side to stay where they are. Maximum warp out for DS9. Call ahead and Tell Kira T'Lana is in trouble in the hospital and we need her now. And Jake, Tell her its bad really bad and I am really scared. Jar'don was on his communicator notifying the Vulcan's and Trill Ministry. I called the admiral and told him. I was really shaking, when he showed up with three coffees. God's thank You. I was sipping and pacing getting more and more panicky. The admiral called T'Rel and said he needs you. Minutes later he was stepping off the blood soaked transporter pad. Looking at the blood trail the hospital personnel was cleaning up he quickened his step down the hall.

Leaning against the wall my hand was nervously tapping on the wall. Then I started pacing again the second time I turned around I walked right into T'rel's hand and instantly I felt his link. He grabbed my other arm with his other hand and guided me to a chair. Slowly, I started to settle. T'Rel said your mind has another voice. You are in communication with T'Lana's dax. What does he say? He keeps telling me to relax, but I cant...You Must.. You know this. Still vibrating this touch comforting I struggled to get the words out. T'rel if she dies... Tal'shia...Please...Shocked by the request he broke his link and I sagged in the chair. The admiral dropped his coffee and caught me just before I fell out.  
The admiral turned to the shocked Vulcan as he was composing himself. and demanded what is Talshia? Tell me now. T'Rel, Now composed, Vulcan ritual execution. he asked to die if T'Lana does..  
The admiral and Jar'don was in stunned to silence. T'rel Continued, He loves her so much he will not live without her. Jar'don sat down beside me and pulled me into his embrace trying to comfort me. Even The admiral was almost in tears. That clock moved in slow motion. Each hour, bringing one nurse after another, One piece of medical equipment after another.

As the hours passed. T'rel had to link with me a couple more times to stop my shaking. The High Minister and the Vulcan Ambassador walked up. They looked strangely at Jar'don. He let me go and stood to attention allowing the minister to sit beside me. Still shaking, I said Minister. Thank you for coming.. It's bad... I'm scared. He places his hand on my shoulder. Looking me in the eyes. It's always scary the first time my brother. looking at the door. I can't hear her.. Pointing at my head.. in here. There was so much blood. I got her here as fast as I could. Your ship called me. Captain Sisko said they were already on their way back at high warp.

The news made me settle some more so T'rel could link up with me and bring me back the control I needed. The high Minister backed away. The Vulcan ambassador explained. I am helping shore up his sanity. It was in a hospital like this one where his first wife died and he went insane with grief. More and more the hours passed. Beaming directly in the hallway Sisko Admiral Cartright and Captain Kira ran to my side. I was stone white with fright. I saw Kira and she ran into my arms crying. She asked did I get here in time. I couldn't answer. I just held on to her. She looked around. Finally the Admiral said we don't know yet. She has been there a long time. Many people went in but nobody has come out yet.

Admiral Cartright said I'm going to get coffee and looking at the Vulcan Ambassador some Vulcan tea? He nodded. Just as the admiral turned to leave the Doctor pushed his way past the doors. Everybody stood frozen. Where is the father he asked? Everybody silently parted. I started to shake again the doctor knelt down to comfort me. It's alright. T'Lana and the baby are alive. I almost melted into the Doctors arms. You need to come with me. I grabbed T'Rels arm. The Doctor seemed to understand and said nothing as he helped me through the doors. As we walked over to this small incubator the Doctor explained. You were right the baby kicked his way out of the birth sack. I m sorry but we had to remove it. I looked at Jar'el. I said Jar'el.. Nurse his name is Jar'el.. Silently she wrote the name down and put the nametag in place.

T'Rel held his arm around my waist holding me up and guiding me across the surgery bay to T'Lana. She wasn't moving. I couldn't hear her in my mind. I started to panic and began to shake. The doctor pulled over a chair and T'rel guided me into it. He took my pulse and immediately gave me a shot. After a moment my blood pressure began to go down and the shaking stopped. After checking me over for a moment he continued. She is alive. She is responding to outside stimulus but the pain and shock from the blood loss has forced her into a coma. I looked up at T'Rel. Can you do it again?  
T'Rel said, I never mind linked with a conjoined Trill. You will have to assist me. You mean linking with her through the Dax? Yes. It is dangerous. You both could die. T'Rel Please. I don't care about the risk. I love her. I don't want to live without her. I can't take loosing another wife. I will go insane again you seen it in my mind. You know I speak the truth.

T'Rel took only a second to decide. Doctor T"Rel said clear the room. Doctor, only you can stay and you must not say anything. Immediately the doctor gave the order and the nurse's left. Now alone, T'rel says one last thing. He placed his hands on the back of my head. Dr. what you are about to see has never been seen by anybody but us Vulcan's. Say nothing and watch. I felt T'rels Link. Gently I placed my hand on T'Lana's abdomen right where her dax was. I closed my eyes. Dax I said hear me.

Shake off the effects of the drugs and hear me. We need you.. We love you.. Jadzia, Ezri, T'Lana and me. .we love you.. Help me Link with T'Lana's mind. Help me get inside.. Our love needs our help. Slowly my hands and T'rels began to glow. The Doctor gasped, but said nothing. Yes Dax, I am in Thank You... Rest now...T'Lana my love.. can you hear me... Yes I know its pretty here, but our son needs us... I love you.. Take my hand.. We must cross the bridge... Its ok.. I know you are scared... I am here.. Thats it... Walk with me... Yes... Good.. I know it hurts.. But only for a moment... I am here... Yes.. just a few more steps.. Good.. T'Lana crossed back to the real world and began to stir. Moaning a little she opened her eyes. T'rel and I backed out of our link and collapsed to the floor.

The Doctor rushed to our aid. The Vulcan ambassador flew through the door at blinding speed and caught T'Rel as he tried to stand. He said Easy brother. You have had a busy day. T'Lana Looks around and asks where is my son? Is he alive, is he all right? Honey where are you? The Doctor checked me over as the admiral picked me up and helped me on the bed next to T'Lana. Still heavily drugged she reached out for my hand and I quickly but tiredly took it..  
Kira spoke up He is over here and he is alright and he's beautiful. The doctor was crying. Admiral Cartright asked what's wrong. He shook his head nothing is wrong. He just risked his own life to reach into T'Lana's mind and pulled her out of a coma. High Minister, Never have I ever witnessed an act of love that powerful. Their aren't words for it. Shaking his head he walked off to his office to compose himself.

T'Lana looks at Kira, can you bring me our son so I can hold him, and see him. I love my family so much. Please, I need to see him. Kira said The doctor said he needs to stay in here for a couple of hours but he is all right look and so beautiful. Crying T'Lana took Kira's hand. You Came for us!, Swallowing hard, tears flowing down her face she said Yes, I came. T'Lana said Thank you, my dear friend. We are very happy you came to help us when we needed you.

Smiles and Yawns, after a few minutes the neural shock of the mind link wore off. Finally, I was able to talk. I asked My love? You said yes? Can we give Jar'el a second name.. A middle Name?.. What Name? Can we call him Jar'el Narisse Tigan? Kira broke down burying her face in her hands. T'Lana Smiled. What do you think Kira Her face in her hands she could not talk. I reached out to Kira and called her to my side. She was still crying. I held her hand. Kira, You came here. You said yes to sharing your body to save our child. I don't know of any greater love. So long as we live, you will have family here on Trill. The High Minister smiled.

You chose your friends well. I must go and inform the others. Before he left he placed his hand on my shoulder. Welcome home my lost Trill, Welcome Home...Jake? I asked, he stepped up. Jake you and Kira are family. Would you both consent to becoming God Father and God Mother to Jar'el?  
T'Lana, All drugged up, Lays there and smiles at all. She said, Please, we would love to have you as god family. Our home will always be open to you. Both gasped but readily agreed. Jake said I need to tell the others. I said wait Jake. No body here for a couple of days. Then only two at a time ok? Smiling and chuckling he said ok and went out in the hallway to use his communicator.  
I held on to Kira, as she started to walk away. You are family now. Weather in our hearts. our home, or our table their will always be a place for you and Jake Odo would be so proud of you right now. She smiled and said Don't worry he knows. Admiral Cartright walked back out into the hall and Odo walked back in. in that gravel voice he said well, I see you don't need our help anymore. Placing his arm around Kira's waist he said we have a resort pass to make use of.  
Smiling I let her hand go and Kira and Odo left arm in arm..  
T'Lana waved good bye. Thank you, both for coming have fun you too. Jar'don sneaked in and took a look at his grandchild. He was so happy. A nurse was checking the monitors and regulating T'Lana's pain meds. Its ok we are just helping T'lana relax and fall asleep. She will be in allot of pain and we want her to sleep and relax.

But you will still be able to talk to her. Quickly he took a picture and said 'to T'Lana. I will inform the servants to make all the necessary preparations. All will be ready when you return home. Addressing me he said T'rel is fine. He and the ambassador returned to their compound for meditation and rest. He said he would return tomorrow. I will go for now and check on the home. What he spoke was not what he was saying in our minds. He was ecstatic. And can't wait to hold him himself. The nurse dropped the railing between our beds and pushed them together. Both exhausted, we fell asleep holding hands staring at our little bundle of love.

**The Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Fifteen / Segment Two.**  
(Retribution)

It took almost a month to get T'Lana settled and healed enough to transport home. She slept the whole trip back and rested all that night. Morning came and I can hear everyone busy about the house. The nurse came in and checked on T'lana and Jar'el and made sure They are doing ok, She gave her, her pills and and told her to relax and she will bring the baby and his bottle to her. She asked if she could get some breakfast for me and Tlana we said yes please. Nurse do you know where my brother and father are? How is my brother doing this morning?

Jar'an R Tigan You called out, as you chimed into our mind link. I smiled hearing your voice in my head and said good your awake. I am outside honey. I needed some alone time to meditate. Too much stress yesterday. Jar'don is security screening the replacement Nanny. The other one was working for the High Minister. Both your brothers are doing fine. Norvo and his wife are using the pool. Jan'el and I just finished meditating. T'Lana said, Omg, that's why she would not come to me and the baby, Honey we need to be more careful. I am glad to hear my brothers are doing well, I Have a text message from Minister T'Pow. She will be coming to Trill to talk to us.  
Jar'an asked, Did she say as to why? T'Lana said, Classifed is what she told me when I asked. She would tell us when she arrives. I have set up quarters for her, if she decides to stay.

I ask, You think she would want to stay here and not at the vulcan compound? T'Lana said, I am not sure what she is going to do, But says she has asked to speak with us privately. I asked, All of us? T'Lana said Not sure until she arrives. She knows that I am not able to travel. So she is coming to our home. I bet she wants to see the baby and doesn't want anybody to see her smile. I saked, Does Jar'don know she is coming? T'Lana said, No. I had just finished talking to her. Will there be a problem? I said, No, I don't think so. But security and servants will need to make ready for a dignitary visit.  
T'Lana said, indeed I asked, How are you feeling today? You took your pills right? T'Lana chuckled, I am feeling ok sweetie and yes I took one for pain and my harmone pill. Good I said, I don't like yelling at my wife. I will be back inside in a minute. T'Lana said, Ok sweetie, I would like you to walk with me.

I checked in with Trina and Norvo briefly and called Jar'don to fill him in on our dignitary visit and then came back inside. Hi Honey. You ready to stand up and walk around? T'Lana said, Hi honey, and gave her a kiss. I am ready to stand and walk around. Wrapping my arm around your back. I supported you so you can pull yourself up. You seem allot stronger now. Does it still hurt? T'Lana said, I am a little sore still but I am ready to learn and walk and be backon my own soon. Snickering I steered you away from the patio door. I wouldn't walk out on the patio right now. It seems our guest, are swimming naked and playing around from the sound of it. T'Lana laughs, lets just walk around inside the house and check on the baby. Chuckling, You know she and I were together once. That doesn't make you jealous does it? Much to Norvo's surprise just a second ago she invited me to jump in. T'Lana said, I am not jealous because that was before we met. You are my husband and I love and Trust you.

I am happyier than I have ever been. Chuckling, I prefer your spots than all that blue skin anyway. T'Lana Smiled. Holding you up I slowly turn to face you and kisses your lips. I love you. I said, I think I might have to have a talk with Norvo though. T'Lana smiled, How are my brothers doing honey? Well, I said, Jan'el is fine. He is down in the lower garden scanning plant samples. I told him we can have some plants sent to Bajor if he wants them. He said he has to get permission before bringing off world plants on Bajor. Something about a blight caused by somebody's potted plant that was left behind when they left.  
And judging from all that moaning Norvo is feeling just fine right about now. T'Lana said, I really enjoyed dinner last night having all the family together. We continue to walk around and sees dad as he comes in. Hi dad, Look at me I'm getting better. How are you?  
Let me get you over to the bed.. I opened the door a crack. If you two are close to getting finished, We do have some Vulcan Dignitaries arriving soon. You might want to do round two indoors where it will be more private. Both of them giggled and scurried out of the pool and put on their robes. T'Lana laughs, Honey remember when we used to do that? As they walked through the gate Trina called out Thank You. T'Lana asked, Honey how much longer do I have to stay in bed? I laughed wickedly, don't worry honey. and we will again and soon based on how you are healing.

Well, You can with the nurses help sit out in the patio chairs to have your meetings but I will ask the Doctor to come by and examine you.  
Whispering in your ear. You know, I am kind of jealous. He has seen you naked more than me. Jar'don is here. He is in the Kitchen having some coffee. I will call him in as soon as we get you covered up. You know he doesn't like seeing you nearly naked walking around.  
Jar'don you can come in now. She is decent. T'Lana Laughs, Honey I'm sorry the doctor has seen me naked but you know why and as Jar'don walks in T'Lana kisses me passionately. Clearing his throat as he walks in.

We both look up. T'Lana smiled, Hi dad. How are you? I miss you  
Jar'don walks over and sits on the bed and hold my hand. You look much better today. I hear you are walking more. T'Lana said, Yes and wanting to move around more but Jar'an and the doctor says I have to stay still. My body has to heal more. It's good that you are back. Did you find any more listening devices? Jar'don said Two more. one in the office and one in the kitchen. The one in the kitchen had a fingerprint on it. That's how I knew it was the nanny. I clinched my fists. This is intolerable. This is our home. I know we have had to open it up to strangers for meetings and the baby's needs but using a nanny. That's disgusting.

T'Lana Damn it. I don't care what we have to do. Our home must be made safe for us all. It will be.I sware it. Do me a favor T'Lana. When the Vulcans get here show these to them. Tell them we are doing regular sweeps and found the person planting them We traced them to the High Minister.

Their righteous indignation will put the ministry in a bad spot. Its time we make them squirm for a change. T'Lana was furious. The High Minister of Trill is doing this to us? Why would he want to know what we are doing and talking about? I said, He and his Star Fleet President cohort are looking to discredit me. Maybe take my job. Maybe take back my ship. They cant get at me directly so they are trying to sniff around and find a weakness. Jar'don spoke up. I know that pissed off look Jar'an.. I made my choice. I don't want any violence. THAT'S IT!, I said as I stood up and pace around. He is not sure how far I will go and is afraid this might blow up in his face. So he is digging for more dirt and find a weakness.

T'Lana said,There is nothing to find and for them to come into our home and try to spy on my family. Guess what? Two can play that game. Perfect idea T'Lana. If its dirt he wants.. Dirt he gets. Jar'don please get me a small bag of dirt. I need to pay somebody a visit.  
T'Lana Laughs, Good one honey, I am so happy that my father and brothers are part of our life and the baby is safe. But no one will come into our home and spy. I grinned wickedly. We will play their game. But we will win. I hand T'Lana one of the deactivated listening devices. Give this to the Vulcans and tell them exactly what I said. I have a counsel meeting to go visit. Jar'don gave me the bag of dirt and one listening device. We kept the other for evidence along with pictures of the others and a signed statement from the fired nanny.

T'Lana I said, Their is a public broadcast of the counsel meeting today. Watch it.. You will like this. She motioned to one of her servants. Turn on the view screen so she can watch the broadcast. Jar'don I said, Come with me. You have your Transport beacon on right? Good you will need it. T'Lana said, I bet this is going to be good, Just be careful please.  
I hit the buttons on the transporter and we shimmered away. Arriving at the counsel chambers I showed my Ambassadors id and went in. The Counsel had just finished a dispute over some crops when I walked up to the podium. At home, holding the baby, T'Lana fed him as she watch the view screen, look Jar'el your father and grandfather or on the view screen. Ministers, I bring disturbing news. One of our brothers has turned on another Trill brother. I showed the listening device. At my home three of these devices have been found. I gave the device along with a copy of the nanny's statement condemning the high minister.  
As you can all see. Our beloved High Minister is involved. One week from now, because of some trumped up charges my Security Chief here will face a trial for the life of his Dax. Ministers. I would highly suggest that each of you have your offices and homes checked for any more devices like that one. And as for you, High Minister. I invited you in my life, in my home and was actually working up to calling you friend. I grabbed the bag. Well if you want dirt on me. I pored the dirt out on the floor. Here it is. Then I turned and walked out on the counsel leaving the crowd in an uproar. We walked out and hit our beaming buttons before anybody could react or ask questions.

T'Lana Sees my father and husband come home and tells them good job. I love you both. I said, treatchery like this really pisses me off. I really wanted to say more but we caught them off guard and now Our High Minister does not stand a hope chance in hell of getting reelected. T'Lana said, I am very proud of you for what you did.  
Grinning wickedly, I said I not through yet. I pulled out my communicator. Jar'an to Admiral. Please beam over to my island we will be handling ambassadorial duties here in my office till I am convinced there are no more listening devices hidden in the office. And you should have your offices scanned as well. Jar'an Out. Jar'don I want an armed security detail at every beam down point on this island. If any body trespasses arrest them. If they resist shoot them. Just don't shoot to kill. I want them screaming with pain.

T'Lana how did the Vulcans react when you told them of the device? Just then High Minister T'Pow shimmered in. T'Lana Greeted her. High Minister T'Pow. I would like you to meet my husband Jar'an and my father Jar'don . Gentlemen this is High Minister T'Pow.  
I saluted her. Greetings, Minister. I trust you have been treated well. Can I offer you some Vulcan Tea? Jar'don walks up with the Admiral in tow. Thank You Jar'don. That will be all for now. Please see to the tasks at hand. Admiral please sit. You look like you could use a drink.  
I said, Minister TPow. Please be assured that a complete security sweep has been completed in the home and out here in the gardens. We can speak without concern. She said, Greeting's it is an honor to meet you both, forgive me for being in your home. I know that T'lana is unable to meet with me else where. My reason for coming was to meet with you and Jar'an ,We have been having problems with someone getting on to my personal ship and leaving these items.

We are unsure what this devise is. Hands it over to Ambassador Jar'an. Perhaps you can tell us what it is. Shows us a box with four more of these long tubes. T'Lana please show the minister the device we found. She handed her the container. This is one of three, we found here. It looks similar to these you found. Jar'an asked,Jar'don what did your security people find out about it? He said, It's a listening device designed to record and then transmit as the beaming shield deactivates. Yours Minister are probably set to transmit when you drop your ship's shields for beaming. I showed him a copy of the signed statement of the nanny involved condemning the Trill High Minister.

I clinched my fist so the minister could see it on purpose. My apologies Minister. I find it difficult to restrain my emotions over this issue. But since you honor us with this meeting I am trying. I am sure you find this distasteful to say the least. Of course my Vulcan brothers have my trust and friendship. With your wisdom applied. How should we peruse this issue? The Admiral just sat there stone white with fright. The minister thought for a moment. Indeed we must stop the ones that are putting these devises in our ships. A security sweep was completed. I am please they are not able to reach our homes. Clearly, your security personnel have been efficient thus far in your investigation. I will leave this matter in your hands. It is highly illogical, for people to act in this manner. We must stop these traitors.

I thank you for your trust in this matter. I can assure you minister this issue will be dealt with. Jar'don walked over and placed a portable monitor on the table. Please forgive the intrusion but a call from the Federation President is coming in. Please put him on screen. Before he could react I called out Mr. President. I trust you are well. I am sure you recognize High Minister Tpow of the Vulcan high command. Showing the devices. It seems this unpleasant issue has extended to involving our Vulcan friends. The High Minister and I have counseled over this matter and it is determination that I track down all involved and see to it justice is done. My investigation has found the individuals involved and as we speak those involved have been dealt with. The Admiral didn't say a word. The president was sweating.  
He said I see. Minister Tpow I trust my ambassador here has dealt with this issue and we should have no further occurrences.

Jar'an said,Minister, I will have my security see to the destruction of these devices. I handed them off to Jar'don, who set them down on the concrete and pulled out his phaser and vaporized them.  
The minister stood and said, I am pleased that this distasteful matter has been dealt so efficiently by your office and your security force.  
May you live long and prosper. T'Lana Tries not to show emotion, but that was something. Thank you. Minister. T'Pow asked, Where is your little baby? I would like to meet your new family member. After a moment with the child Minister T'Pow came back out of the house. We stand except T'Lana, and give the Vulcan salute. May you live long and prosper. With that Minister Tpow walked out to the open patio area and beamed up. After she was gone I whirled around and faced the monitor.

Screaming, I said listen up you low life piece of genetic garbage. I just saved your sorry ass for the last time. You crossed the line. I know about the transmissions you made to the Trill High Minister. One word and you would be swimming neck deep in an interplanetary incident. You came after me at home you came after my family. Those charges against Jar'don had better disappear. And, as for you, I did everything you ever asked. Even when you chewed me out for using the Diplomats office for personal use. I was honest enough to admit to my error and corrected it. But I don't care what office you hold. If you ever cross this line again and go after my family I will personally pilot my ship to your doorstep and shove my phaser so far up your ass you will need a dentist to get it out.

I clicked off the transmission before he could say anything. and whirled around to face the now totally frightened Admiral. I do not know how involved you are in this and I don't want to know. You showed me what kind of man you really are when you slid that pad across my table. So even as pissed off as I am I'm going to give you that second chance. Now get out of my site till tomorrow. I need to cool off before I kill someone. He jumped up and ran out and beamed away. T'Lana was shaking Jar'don had his hand on his phaser. I sat down at the table and closed my eyes for a moment. The area was stone quiet The servants were afraid to get near. After a moment I looked at the both of them and broke out in the biggest grin they ever saw.

That's when everybody knew they were punked and part of the biggest act they have ever seen.

I called Trank. And said Thank you for the Vulcan devices. You earned your bonus. T'Lana was first to talk. With dad holding her hand she was shaking. What the hell was that all about? You scared us. I thought you had gone insane again. I'm sorry Honey. I had to. The Vulcans ,The President, and The Admiral would have seen through the whole thing if you knew. So I had to keep the all of you in the dark Jar'don had enough against him. If this all went sour he would face more charges and I can't allow that. I pulled out a chair next to T'Lana. Really it was all an act. Once I found those devices I knew what to do. I could not let you even see it in my mind. If the Vulcan's caught on to the deception I had planed everything would have fallen apart.

T'Lana said, God you scared me, I didn't know what the hell was going on in your mind. And that is the way I planned it. Not even Jar'don have any idea what I was up to.. Just me and Trank. My chief engineer. Not even Jake. Honey there will be times like this when people will see our happiness and try all they can to destroy it. They want everybody to share in their misery and I refuse. You are my wife. You Jar'don are my wife's father. And as far as I am concerned you are my father now. There is nothing I wont do. No limit to how far I will go to protect the people I love.

T'Lana Takes my hands and pulls me close to her and kisses my lips. Breathlessly, she pulled back and said, I love you and our family. Thank you for protecting us. Well. I rubbed my hands together. I suspect there will be allot of changes tomorrow. I don't know about you but I have worked up an appetite. Anybody else hungry?  
T'Lana said Yes my love I am very hungry, How about you dad?  
Still a little nervous, he said Yea, I could eat. Snickering, I stood up and he took a cautionary step back. Seriously people. It was all an act to shut everything down in one fell swoop. Jar'don moved his hand away from his weapon and we shook hands. That's when I pulled him to myself and embraced him as a father. We both started crying. I looked back at T'Lana and she was crying.

Jar'el just slept through the whole thing now he wakes up crying for his food. I scoop him up. You knew didn't you. That's why you didn't cry when I was yelling. 

T'Lana reached up to you both to hug you both. I handed T'lana the baby and you started to unbutton your shirt to breast feed. I turned to talk to Jar'don and he was already at the gate. Snickering, I said to him as he walked through and closed the door behind him. You are so squeamish. T'Lana Laughs, Dad honey you can come back in I am covered up. The servants nervously started coming out from where they hid. I called them all out. People I have treated you well. I have protected you well. I have paid you well. All that you heard frightened you for that I am sorry. This island here is our world. Our place of happiness and saftey. A group of people wanted to ruin all that. Well, Tonight I just stopped them all dead in their tracks. You are not family. And some call you servants. I hope to be able to call you friends. Stations please everything is going to be all right The tension left the group and all went back to work.

The nurse came out and asked if i was ready to put Jar'el back in his crib. No we said, not just yet we are enjoying holding him and playing with him. Come back later after my family has had a chance to love up on Jar'el. Jan'el, Norvo and Trina walked up. Wondering what happened. We heard some people coming and going and some yelling. I looked over at Jar'don. Snickering he said only the largest longest running bluff I have ever seen. Turning to me I am never playing cards with you. Laughing and joking as we ate, somebody shimmered in. Damn I forgot to turn it back on. It was the Admiral but he was wearing Trill clothes. I just wanted to say thank you. Here, is a message from the Trill High Ministry. They want to express their sincerest apologies for the Ex High Ministers actions. He has been removed from office and will bother you no more.

Turning to Jar'don, they also asked that I bring you a message. All the charges the high minister made. Have been erased from all files and no longer exists. I for one wanted to apologise for my part in this. I resigned as soon as I got back. This is my uniform now. Well anyway that's all I had to say so I will be leaving you to your family thing. As the ex-admiral started to leave I called out Admiral wait. Just what the hell do I call you now. Jackson he said. Well ,Jackson get over here and sit your ass down and have something to eat.  
I caught site of a servant girl that was looking at Jackson and smiling. I leaned over and whispered in his ear. That servant girl over there in the blue green outfit was looking at you and smiling. Why dont you go over and talk nicely to her.

Jackson looked up at me and smiled and walked over to the servant girl. About an hour later I looked up for him and they both were gone. I snickered to myself and let it go. I called the doctor with the communicator and asked him a question. Closing the clip I scooped T'Lana up and headed for the pool. She screeched and protested. Everybody was cheering. I walked into the pool clothes and all and sat her down into the pool chair. She started to get mad and just then realized the water made her abdomen feel better. I hollered out everybody in the pool! T'Lana laughs, You bratt I told her the doctor said it was ok.

Some stayed clothed some not. I didn't care. Even Jar'don climbed in and did some splashing. Right then, all I wanted to do was spend time in the water with my wife. T'Lana said, I want to hold your hands and walk around in the pool. I said, In a minute honey, their are too many in here splashing I don't want them to bump into you. Between our family and the servants the whole island was abuzz with laughter and joy. T'Lana Giggles, Omg .it great to see everyone having fun. I snuggled you up in my lap and laughed as your brothers splashed you. Next thing I knew Jan'el had pulled a servant girl in the pool and was splashing her. I pointed it out to you and whispered in your ear.  
We lose more servants like that. Jackson found somebody too. They have been gone since an hour ago.

T'Lana said,He is a big boy. Yes, I said, That is till she gets a hold of him.. Then not so big.. T'Lana laughs, Two by two everybody left and went to get cleaned up... Maybe.. Finally Trina and Norvo got out. She looked at me and could see how much I was in love with my wife and smiled. She took off her shirt and tied it around her waist. Other than that she was naked and I didn't care. Then, it was just us. Gently, I helped you to your feet. Holding you up we slowly danced looking in each other's eyes the world faded away and we slow danced for a while. Everybody could see through your shirt when it got wet, but I didn't care I was just a husband helping his lovely wife walk around the pool.

T'Lana Smiles and laughing, looking into his eyes, she said you have made me the happiest woman alive. Kisses you as we dance into the water and the stars above us. And you have made me the happiest man alive. Actually I was glad when the Doctor said I could take you in the pool.

Even with all those bed baths you were still getting a little gamy.  
I scooped you up and we walked out and I set you down in the pool chair. We pulled our clothes off and squeezed the water out. I draped her shirt back on and put my pants back on. Then I picked you back up and carried you to our bed. T'Lana said, Thanks a lot. Between you and the nurse not leting me up and in the shower. I am glad to be out here with you. Well , Starting tomorrow The nurse or I will help you get in the shower chair and you can wash your self. Or maybe I will wash you. All dried off snuggled and warm I slide in the bed next to you and wrap you in my arms. Smelling your hair. I went to sleep. Snuggled and tired from all the days events, you finally fall asleep.

**The Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Fifteen / Segment Three.**

(The Wonderful Gift)

The swearing in ceremony and speech went well. All these meetings are being a bit taxing. Some of these issues the other ministers could handle. I think they test me to see how far I will go. When the two giant Galaxy class saucer sections were being lowered through Trills atmosphere, to our growing Continent, All of Trill saw how far I would go. Now we will grow our food and plants year round. The press conference went very well. Even the reporters were applauding. Still I get the same nagging feeling T'Lana had that first day. We have a traitor amongst the ministry. Trill Ministry, High Ministers Office, Message transmission to High Minister T'Pow. Vulcan representatives still wareing heavy robes. Can Lighter ones be designed. Planets ecosystem conducive to lighter clothing. Productivity and efficiency will be increased with this….  
Trill Ministry, High Ministers Office, and Message transmitting to U.F.P. counsel and president. Shipment received in good order. Thank you for the assistance. Personnel visiting planet have enjoying their stay much better after following rules changes. Advise as to when President can meet and counsel with all representatives here at Trill.  
New Ambassador Mr. Jackson filling in well and doing a good job. Recommend perminate. Trill Ministry, High Ministers Office, Message to Captain Kira, of Deep Space station no: 9. Medical supplies and other deliveries confirmed by Captain Jake Sisko of USS Elondra. Please advise if any other items are needed. I hope you like the garden I had installed for you.  
A piece of Trill and Bajor for you to walk through when you need time to think. Lastly, advise if doctor received his personal gift. His efforts for Minister Telora are deeply appreciated. At DS9 Kira is having coffee with Dr. Bashier. That was allot of stuff Jake brought us. And have you seen the garden yet? It's stunning! Kira asked he wanted to know if you got the personal gift. Dr Bashier pulled out the memory stick. Yes I have it. I'm not sure what's on this. He said in his note its real personal so I need to be alone when I activate it. I was just going to use Quarks holo sweet and find out. Will you come with me? Just for the start. Ok, but if that is what I think it is you will want to be alone.

Quark came by and said your time is ready. So Kira and I went up stairs and into the holo sweet. I plugged in the memory stick and typed in the access code. Instantly a copy of Dr Bashiers private quarters appeared. Then, a hesitation. Then the real reason appeared. Standing there in her federation uniform was Ezri Dax. Hello Julian. Hi Kira, This was meant for Julian alone but since you are here, I wanted you to know how much I have missed you.  
Julian, this is no fantasy; I am an artificially created Avatar. I can interact in every way with you. The moment this program began your brainwave pattern was scanned so I can be attuned to all of your senses.

Kira, at this time I would like to ask if you would please allow Julian and me some personal time. Kira was crying and it made Ezri's Avatar cry too. Hugging they said their good bye's. Kira wiped a tear from Ezri. It's real Juliann. I don't know how but it's real. She walked outside and the door closed. Julian, I know this comes as a shock to you. I was created with the memories and feelings stored in T'Lana and her Dax. Jar'an knew you were having difficulties and created this gift for you. She walks over and hugs Julian and then kisses him passionately. You see everything the same. The same body. The same love. The same memories. All the data is on that memory stick. Now here is the hard part. You can only activate me ten times after this introduction. After that my memory will degrade and the stick will erase itself.

Feel me. Feel my link. Touch Me.. I love you my Julian. Then she kissed him again and they made love just as they did so long ago. Touching Sharing, Feeling each other. Loving each other. Every memory as it was. Every feeling exactly like it was before.

As the time was up Julian didn't want to leave. Clearly shaken by the experience. He held her in his arms. Please don't go. Julian I must. The part of me inside T'Lana still loves you. I love you but at some time you must let me go. Jar'an downloaded my last message I had recorded when I died. It will play at the end of the tenth use of this memory stick. Then everything vanished. Kira was waiting outside. The door opened and Bashier was just staring at his hands crying like a baby. He started to drop to his knees in raw grief when Kira ran up to him to hold him. All he could say was what a wonderful gift. Kira held him both crying rocking each other as they cried out their grief.  
Meanwhile, back on Trill. I arrived home before T'Lana and check on Jar'el. Then I checked my messages.

The usual island maintenance stuff and then scrolling down I found a message from DS9. It was coded personal so I had to use my private access code to call it up. It was Dr Bashier. He was still crying. Managing to talk he could only say, I don't know how, I don't know why, But you showed me a love I thought died with her. Thank You is not enough. What a wonderful gift. I will treasure it forever. I'm coming for the medical conference on fertility issues being hosted there on Trill and I would like to see you. The Message ended there. I thought to myself good. I just hope T'Lana will understand.  
When humans love someone. Its forever...Pulling out a small desk drawer he found another memory stick. It had Elondra written on it. Staring at the stick, I said, With you, I would make peace with my greatest enemy.

I heard the transporter turn on and put the memory stick back in the drawer. Honey You Home? T'Lana steps off the transporter pad, Yes I am here with dad. We are coming into the living room. Hi honey hugs and kisses you, How's Jar'el? Ready for his mommy. By the way Dr Bashier will be here next week for the medical convention we are hosting. I would like for him to stay here with us in the private guesthouse. You know the one with the private lagoon. Have you heard from T'Pow yet? I sent her a message. T'Lana said, No nothing since this morning she had to take care of some issues on Vulcan.  
She will contact us tomorrow she said. Matters at state she had to take care of. I feel her pain I said. These ministers are really trying my patience. They bring everything to me. I ask them what they would do and then say well then do that. Dad calls out from the kitchen, Daughter and Son would you like anything to eat or drink? How about a round of melon and ice water for all of us. T'Lana added, And some red and green grapes with red cherries please.  
I added, Yes, Me too please. After helping you out of that heavy robe. I sit down on the bed. You think a High Minister can get his first lady to rub his back? I take my shirt off and you are checking out my spots. Wow, very handsome and touches your spots. Be nice now. Dad is just in the other room. You don't want to short out his brain do you?T'Lana said, Sorry, Please excuse me for a little bit I want to see our son and get out of the rest of these heavy robes. I will be right back.  
I already took one off. How many do they make you ware?  
T'Lana said, I have to wear 3, One for trill, 1 more for me that shows I am that I am an Ambassador and the last one for the Ambassador for Vulcan. They can get very heavyalong with,my clothes underneath.  
I said, This is intolerable. That much weight has got to slow a person down. No wonder the power drain from their compound is so great. They must be cycling and chilling air by the tuns. What they don't understand is those chillers are dumping Tons of CO2 in our atmosphere. So you are waddling around like a pregnant person under all that weight. It's stupid.

T'Lana laughs why do you think we move slowly? Giggles be right back, going to change. Honey have you fed Jar'el? I said, My breasts don't work that way. Jar'Don stuck his head around the corner. Will you two cut me some slack here? T'Lana laughs, The bottles in the fridge my love, omg still laughing. She asked, dad would you like to feed your grandson? I hand Jar'don the bottle. Jar'Don, Grinning from ear to ear. scoops up little Jar'el and gives him his bottle. Been a long time I said. Sighing he said sure has. Snickering, I said, Maybe its time you started making another baby. Before he could react, I turned on him playfully. You know I see those girls checking you out. Don't start with me, Jar'an.

T'Lana Came back in wearing a little dress of our people and relaxes watching dad and Jar'el. Awww dad he really loves you .he is holding your figures. How sweet. What do you think T'Lana What about setting up Jar'don here with that really cute girl that cleans our bedroom. T'Lana said, great idea honey. Jar'don said all right now child, not you too. Sighs. I just don't stand a chance do I?  
Seriously Jar'Don, How long has it been since you got laid? And don't count the avatar.

T'Lana blushes, giggles and eats the fruit and keeps her mouth shut.  
Thanks T'Lana. I really appreciate all the assistance. Jar'don said Jar'an, If I wasn't holding your baby I'd punch you in the nose.  
T'Lana said, you two behave. You're holding my baby. Jare'el chimed into our mind link, mommy, daddy, grand pa funny. shh not suppose to link remember that baby. I look over at Jar'don. Women. Tell me they don't rule the world. For the first time he snickered. See even you can lighten up sometimes. All right you two. I will date somebody... Good I said. It worked for B'elanna and she was far worse than you were.

T'Lana smiles, Here comes lliaina, She wants to meet you dad.  
I said, Here, give me Jar'el and go get her a drink out on the patio.  
Jar'don shot me an incredulous look. I still know what to do. I'm not that old. T'Lana Laughed, Go you two and have fun. Chuckling, Jar'an said, I'm not going I got mine.T'Lana shot back, Damn right you do. Here I said, Take these two glasses of ice water and go for it.  
T'Lana walks over to spy on dad while he sits down with lliaina, at the patio table. Reaching for the baby, she chimes in the mind link.  
Come here Jar'el. Are you still hungry? Yes mommy, he said. Ok honey T'Lana opens her shirt and feeds you. She covers you up so grandpa doesn't get blushed again. Giggles

I chime in on the mind link, Hey Jar'el save some of that for me.  
Jar'el said Daddy tickle mommy again haha T'Lana said, Daddy hungry too, giggles, Jar'el reaches for your hand. I said, Oh you want me? Ok lets go to the bed so we can be more comfortable.

**The Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Fifteen / Segment Four.**  
(Adopted Sister)

The day started out rainy, The water cool to the touch. I have been awake for a couple of hours watching you sleep. Watching Jar'el sleep. I have been blessed with so much. Now I must wait for you to tell me what I already know. What Dax told me. I know you loved your sister very much. That she was allot more than just close. T'Lana stretched, and wakes up, see's you watching me sleep, What is wrong honey? I love you and our son. Smiling, I took the time to meditate. As I came out of my meditation I open my eyes to see you laying there all warm sleepy and smiling. I got up from my desk with a copy of the message from T'Pow.

Your sister will arrive this afternoon. T'Lana was so excited she jumped up from the bed. You found her omg, It has been so long. I hope see is well. Honey you said, Blushing, T'Pol and I are a lot more than just close. We shared everything and explored everything. She was your first "experience"? Don't be embarrassed. To tell the truth Your Dax told me all this a long time ago. It's been more than ten years now. She will be different. I can feel your love for her. You were young back then. There is no shame, in the love you two share. But I am sad, you thought you needed to hide this from me. I love you. No act, No thought, No Desire, will ever diminish that. She will be more disciplined more reserved. She will have greater control over her emotions. Try not to be disappointed. She will be different. My communicator chirped. Flipping it open I said, Yes stand by, dropping security dome now.

You may bean T'Pol to my location. Stay inside honey and let me talk to her first. Maintain the link and then come outside with some ice water. She started to shimmer and then standing there with her garment bag stood T'Pol. Traditionally greeting her I gave the Vulcan salute. Live long and prosper T'Pol Zee Tigan. I find it agreeable to have you here at my home. You are well? Yes, she said. I noticed on the orders that you are now the High Minister of Trill. I am. She said, I hear your thoughts. The link is strong with you. Is it strong enough to hear the thoughts of your sister? Just then, T'Lana walked out. T'Pol stood frozen in total shock for a moment. Started to shake and unlike the other Vulcan's, began to cry. T'Lana stretched out with her mind. I have missed you so much. That was all she needed to say. T'Pol dropped her garment bag and walked quickly into her warm embrace.

Totally ignoring me they kissed. Drawing back T'Pol said in her mind. I have missed you too. It seemed to T'Lana that no time had passed at all. I could see the love in both their eyes. Clearing my throat reminded T'Pol, she was not alone. Trying to compose herself she said sorry sir. I missed my sister. T'Lana giggled, I said come here and sit down and have some water. You look a little flushed.  
Nervously she shifted over to the chair and sat down. I don't understand. T'Lana sat down beside her and put her hand on her shoulder to reassure her she was safe. Sipping on the water, poor T'Pol was still trying to compose herself. Snickering a little, I decided to let her off. I said, Relax, You are among family.

Your sister, T'Lana is now my wife. I am Jar'an. And that man walking out with the little bundle in his arms is Jar'don, your father. Handing the baby to T'Lana, and this little one is Jar'el, my son. T'Pol looked into Jar'dons eyes and in a small voice broken with emotion she said Daddy? Smiling Jar'don said yes, My old host died and I was able to conjoin once more. I am here now. Instantly T'Pol leaped into his waiting arms. Hugging him tightly. I missed you. I never understood why I had to leave.T'Lana glared lethally, at Jar'don. Had to leave? Jar'don said, T'Lana please understand. The Vulcan minister at that time saw you two together. She believed that Trill was a bad influence on T'Pol and that she needed to learn about her Vulcan heritange. She threatened to expose T'Pol to the Vulcan high command. They would have shunned her and she would never be accepted among her people.

Jar'an spoke with determined authority. She is family. She is among her people. T'Pol said daddy please don't send me back there. It's dead there. Nobody smiles. Everybody hides his or her true self. T'Pol, You are home now. You are going nowhere. In public you must control your emotions and be as they are. If we have visitors you must be careful. But here with family. I order you to be yourself understood? T'Pol was staring at Jar'el. Playfully offering him a finger. Jar'el seems to like you T'lana said. A lot of things have changed T'Pol. She asked, this home is all yours? The whole island actually said T'Lana. We have the guesthouse ready for you. It has a place for meditation and its own very private lagoon to swim in. Jar'an and I met before I was conjoined. T'Pol Turned to Jar'an. And said thank you. I haven't smiled this much in longer than I can remember.

Jaran took T'Pols hand and gently guided her to to her feet. And embraced her warmly, T'Pol here you are loved. Jar'don said Yes child, you are loved. But you must be careful Understand? Yes Daddy, Wow, T'Lana your husband is so warm. Jar'don would you please escort your daughter to the guesthouse and come back here. I have some new security protocols to go over with you. Jar'don said Yes Sir, and Thank You. T'Pol said, Yes Sir? You work here now? Jar'don took her hand. Great many things have changed child. Great many things. Still sitting at the patio table you turned and gave me a worried look. In our mind link, Don't worry T'Lana, I won't hurt him.

But to take a frightened child like that and send her off to a terrifyingly strange world. He had better have a really good explanation. Jar'don took his time coming back. He knew he was going to get it. Walking up slow, he sat down and said go ahead let me have it. T'Lana Comes and sits down next to dad and Jar'an, Why did you send ,my sister away from me. We where family. Jar'don closed his eyes and took a deep breath. That was over Ten years ago, After Yanas died, I had people demanding I send the both of you away. Remember those times when we had to pack and move in the middle of the night? Back then we had just formalized relations with the Vulcans. The were so advanced and Smart and strong. Our leaders did virtually everything they said. Their High Minister saw you two together. Saw you two sharing the link, and saw you two...  
I interjected. Expressing their love. Jar'Don said Right, Thank You.  
T'Lana said, Saw us doing what dad? We was family. Mom was dead and my brothers never around. All I had was my sister to talk to. I loved her so much.

He continued, Child, when we express our love, it is not the same way others do. The High Minister said if I didn't sign over custody of T'Pol she would expose her desire for women. And then I would have been declared an unfit father and loose the both of you. Jaran leaned back in his chair. So much pain for so many years. Well that all ends now. I love the both of you. You know that. Well now its time she knows we all love her. As she is. Not the cookie cutter personality some egomaniac wants to impose on her. Sometimes it's a good thing that some of the old ways died off with those people.  
T'Lana said, Father you could have told me, I was so heartbroken, I did things I should have not done. I reacted harshly, Hell no you didn't. Never, I mean never be ashamed of expressing your love in any form. We are all different. But wither she has spots or not she is family. You have nothing to be ashamed of and neither does she. T'Lana said, I am very happy now, I have the most loving husband and my family is all here and alive. We have a son now and he is the most wonderful child.

I told her, Your Dax showed me what you two were like. I saw nothing to be ashamed of, Except of those who tried to sit in judgment over you. And you Jar'don. I was furious at you at first but now I understand. Looking at my watch. You need to go, you have a dinner date to prepair for.  
T'Lana Sighs, Gets up and takes the baby to the nursery to feed him,bathe and change him. Tears in her eyes. Walking in behind you I wait till you put Jar'el in the crib, to put my hands on your shoulders. My Love why do you cry? T'Lana said, I am so happy but still a little upset at dad. I understand why. Honey, I said, It was give up one to save both. He had no choice. I understand about the Vulcan's. The same thing happened on earth. They wanted to control us. They believed their way was the best way and held us back for more than two hundred years. Honey, what you shared with her, in no way diminishes my love for you. I feel the stirrings she brings up in you. We are blessed to have each other in our lives, but she has no one. For a very long time has felt very much alone. She will need our love, lifting up your chin, and our understanding. Kisses you passionately.  
T'Lana said, All those bad things I did because I was mad at everyone. I ran away and joined star fleet. Then I came home. Wrapping my arms around your waist, you came home and found me again. You took a broken heart and shattered soul and healed it.

Very few have ever done that. To me or anyone else. Now it's up to us to do it again for her. We can't change the past. But we can help her with her future. Just then, there was a knock on the door. I opened it and there stood T'Pol. She looked frightened. What's wrong honey? Everything, nothing so confused. Your home is Beautiful. Being alone still hurts doesn't it? I said. Come in for a while. Let's have coffee and dinner. Want a salad? Hell no she said. I want a cheeseburger and fries. T'Lana fell out laughing. You remember, She huged her sister and kisses her cheek. You are home now and safe. We love you.  
She turns around and hugs and kisses me. You also healed a broken heart and showed me love I thought could never be again. We have the most wonderful family and our son.

He is so handsome and loving. So I said, cheese burger and fries all the way around and ice water and we can have ice cream and coffee after. I will have it all set up out on the patio, in a few minutes. You girls talk. Use the link if you want I won't listen in, I promise.  
T'Pol opened up her mind link and she was much stronger now than when she was young. That Man you have is very different. He can feel me inside. Knows me. And he doesn't judge.  
Sitting on the patio talking to T'Pol and holding her hand like we did when we was kids. Its ok sister you are safe and home, You never have to leave us again. I promise...T"pol, asked Please tell me everything, What have you been up to sister? I missed you so much. I never knew why I was sent back to Vulcan,  
The High minister of Vulcan saw us together. Said she must be trained in the Vulcan way. Threatened father to get his way.  
But now, things are changed. Mind links with her and we feel the love of friends and family again. See I told you everything is ok now. My husband and son are all my love. Like we shared so long ago.  
I poked my head around the corner from the kitchen. It's all ready now. Let's eat. We all went out T'Pol put her arm around T'lana's waist and pulled out her chair for her. I noticed but let it go. We all sat down. Dinner was a little bit of a comedy of drips from the melted cheese and the laughter of a love held back for far too long. T'Pol asked where is daddy? Snickering, well you see that light down there. He is on a dinner date with a really cute woman. We won't be seeing him any time soon. Everybody cracked up.

T'Lana mind links a memory into when they was teenagers, Giggles I remember that. Smiles sister, I love you and miss you. T 'Pol, I say in her head, I love you and my husband and son. You are never going to leave the family or me again, Sitting back in my chair, You know we do have a swimming pool and hot tub, if you want to relax before dessert. T'Pol said I haven't been in a pool in years. I don't have a suit. That's ok, neither do we. I jumped up and ran over into the pool clothes and all and splashed in. Come on in its great!  
T'Lana Laughs and throws T'Pol in the pool. Soon we were laughing and splashing and playing like little kids. Then I heard something. I said SSSSHHH I hear something. A girl is moaning.. She calls out Oh Jar'don MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. we all knew what he was doing and cracked up. I turned around and T'Pol was kissing T'Lana. Nothing more just a kiss, but it meant the world to her. I swam over and T'Pol got nervous. I said relax, be yourself. You felt me when you arrived. You know that I know. Here amongst us their is no shame. Understand? T'Pol said,I understand, I wanted to kiss T'lana for one last time. I know she belongs to you. With that I put my hand on both their heads and linked in a personal way. Never be afraid to share your love here. Never again. And I lightly kissed T'Pol. and went to T'Lana's side and kissed her. T'Lana said, My husband and sister and my family are all back together again. Dad and our brothers are very happy now. 

I interjected, Yes and Dad is a little happier now. We all cracked up.  
Turning to T"pol I said, Its been a long time since you have known such freedom. Enjoy it. In front of T'Pol I kissed T'Lana passionately. We pealed out of our wet clothes and swam naked T'Pol finaly began to relax and took her clothes off too. I splashed her several times. Laughing and playing with out judgment. Without Sex, and Without Shame. T'Lana Smiles and links with Jar'an, Thank you sweet heart. I said, Your welcome. Her healing has begun. She has been hurt. Someone she loved, A man, has died. It shook her up badly. Don't push her. And please don't push her away either ok?

T'Lana said, I never will honey, She knows my love is yours and our sons first, Then family and our all of us laying naked on the in water pool chairs. The night sky full of stars and Jar'dons girlfriend moaning. I finally said Damn, It really has been a while since he got laid.  
All of us cracked up again. I never saw a Vulcan laughing. It was a wonderful site. And she needed it.  
T'Lana Laughing, Omg dad sounds like he is really having a wonderful time. It is good to see my sister laughing again. I said, I didn't think the old man had that much left in him. T'Pol laughed so hard she rolled off the chair and under the water. Came up spitting and laughing.

T'Lana snuggled up behind me, holding me in her arms laughing.  
T'Pol swam over to us both and kissed us saying thank you for all this. It means the world to me. She gathered up her clothes and squeezed out the water. I'll stop by for coffee in the morning. Slipping the dress back on she trotted off back to the guesthouse. Snickering as she walked by Daddy's house. Now T'Lana, I said, she can heal. She loved a man. a human, he died. It's a raw wound she hides inside. T'lana said, I did not know, Maybe she will find love again here. That's possible, I said. Dr Bashier is supposed to be here next week for the medical conference. You know, I'm still amazed at the gift Dax gave me. I can see her soul on the inside. I can see the hurt. I can see the love. She is still allot like the girl you knew. T'Lana said, Honey lets go inside and check the baby and have some alone time.

Yes, I said, Talking like Jar'el, Yes my love lets go inside and maybe mommy can tickle daddy.. T'Lana laughs.

We climb out and grab our wet clothes and lay them on the chairs to dry. And walk inside naked to the warm showers and soft chairs of our little bathroom love nest. The next day…..Message To T'Lana Connar from Jar'an Connar. Arriving home shortly, Briefing T'Pol on office duties. Sister has already increased efficiency 30 %. New Vulcan uniforms designs almost ready. Robes will be for winter and cold climate planets. We should be home in about an hour.  
T'Lana Hears the computer beeping, comes into the living room and sits down. Holding Jar'el and sees your face come up. Sends message back, Ok honey I will see you both at home for dinner. Love you  
T'Pol, You have done well today. I am impressed at your office skills. All this may seem trivial, but I need somebody I can trust. T'Pol said thank You Sir, I will be ready to leave for the island in a few minutes. Please sit down T'Pol. Sir? You know I can feel you inside. Why are you nervous? Its the Vulcan's Sir, I have to be so careful around them. Yes you do. But even they sense your condition. Your time is almost here isn't it? That seven-year itch all Vulcan's must endure.T'Pol Blushes, How do you know of Pon Far? He explained my first wife was Vulcan. I helped her through hers. Your hand is shaking. I know you prefer women, but I also know you had a great love for a man. A human, who died. .I asked, How long do you think you have?

Embarrassed, T'Pol looks away. Yes, when our daughter died it killed us both inside. Trip was later killed on board ship in the engine room.  
And I said, Ever since then, You have been afraid to feel again.  
Looking back at me, feeling the warmth of my compassion.  
T'Pol Finally admitted, I have 2 Months before I must mate with someone, I would need to mate with a man. When its time or it could kill me. How can you know so much about me, since we just met.  
Pulling my chair close, First, You must know. When my first wife died, I was afraid to feel. Your sister and her Dax unlocked something in me and it kind of creeps people out when I use this gift of seeing inside. I meld regularly with a trusted friend named T'Rel. I believe his "Event" is coming due as well. Would you allow me the honor of seeing to your need?

T'Pol said, Yes, but tell no one else. Promise? I don't know why but ever since I met you, I felt I could trust you. I can feel you inside.

T'Lana's Dax shared some memories she experienced before her conjoining. I know all this is strange. I would like to "Meld" with you. May I? T'Pol said, You may try if you wish, my mind is all messed up right now. I placed my hands on the sides of your head. I can feel you. Can you hear me in your mind? I sense resistance. No wonder, you were forced. Child don't be ashamed. T'Pol said, Yes, I can hear you. Tries to pull away, I was forced the first time in a mating meld. I pull back out of the link. Are you ok? T'Pol Cries, yes I pull you close and hug you. You are loved. By Daddy, By T'Lana, And by Me. In Time, as you are ready, I want you to be able to Love again. You have had to suppress it for so long. It is scary to step out and Feel. I felt Trip's love for you. T'Pol said, Yes and I loved him, Frustrated she pounds her fist on her leg. Emotions are illogical.

I raised my eyebrow, Yes they are. And do you know the most illogical and irrational part of emotions? You will always love him. As I will always love my first wife. But I love T'Lana differently. You never love the same way twice. Let's go home. T'Pol wiped her eyes, Indeed, Please lets go home. I have had enough of work today. I told her, Some meditation would help you settle your thoughts. Not much at first but if you can stick with it, It will help. Stepping on the transporter with T'Pol, and we shimmer away. Back at home T'Lana is waiting and as usual worrying.  
T'Pol said, Indeed, I have been on Vulcan too long. I am afraid of my own reflection. Please I trust you will you please help me.  
Yes, I will. Small steps at first, But I will. T'Pol said, Only you and T'lana please don't tell anyone else. Agreed, I said, Just us and no one else. Arriving at home I said why don't you and T'Lana spend some girl time with the baby. I will be in the office for a few minutes.  
T'Lana said, Hello honey welcome home hugs and kisses you, Sees-something is wrong. T'pol what is wrong sister? In my office. I send a message To T'Rel. request advice on Pon Far...I heard the fear in T'Lana's mind. So, I walk out and place my hand on T'Pol's shoulder. It's ok child. You can tell her. T'Pol Nervously looked around to make sure the servants were gone. My Pon Far is coming and I need to find a mate in 2 months, My head is so messed up and I am scared and don't know what to do.

Here Child, I said, your shaking, Sit down and have some water. They drilled so much suppression in you. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.

T'Lana said, Zee, its ok we are here for you and will find away to help you ok. Hugs her tight it will be ok. T'Pol clings to T'Lana. So I told her. It's close to her time and she is frightened. Its like a bird that had its wings tied down for so long she forgot how to use her wings to fly again. T'Pol looked at me and said now that is creepy. Sorry Child, I said, This gift kind of works like that. Stay here tonight. There is plenty of room. I open my mind link to T'Lana, she was forced melded. Mental rape. That coupled with the loss of her baby and her mate a human named Tucker. She is almost in neural shock.  
T'Pol asked, are you sure I am not in the way? I stood T'Pol up and embraced her warmly kissing her on her forehead. Does it feel like you are in the way?

T'Pol smiles no. I don't. T'Pol looks over and sees the baby. He is so sweet and happy. I said, go ahead, Pick him up and hold him.  
T'Lana said, go ahead and pick him up he will not break.  
Jar'el chimed in his mind link, Mommy, Daddy... Sister Sad.  
I said, SHHH Jar'el. No Link. She might hear. T'Pol Picks up the baby and holds him, Hello little one. I am your Aunt Zee. Jar'el reaches up and grabs a finger. T'Pol Sits down and holds Jar'el and rocks him your parents are right little must be quiet no one should know how gifted you are.I open my mind link up with T'Lana. Jar'el here may heal more than I will be able to.. Wait! You can hear him and me and T'Lana? All right, Now that's creepy.

T'Pol smiled, yes, I can hear you T'lana and I where able to link as children. I never forgot how to do it. It was something that our father taught us both. Putting my hands on my hips, I wonder what else she taught you as children, that you never forgot. T'Pol grinned wickedly. Other than that. T'Lana was snickering. Any body seen Jar'don today? I'll bet he is a little bowlegged by now. T'Pol and T'lana both laugh as the baby falls asleep in her arms. T'pol says how much she would love to have another baby one day. Scanning you with my medical Tricorder. Well there is no medical reason you can't have another. Maybe, with the timing right, We can arrange that for you. At least, you have the possibility.

T'Pol looked at you, Do you really think that it will be possible to have another baby? I have a good friend coming next week. A Doctor Bashier. Bending down to look into her eyes.

He has a silky voice and dreamy eyes and is super smart.  
Ask T'Lana about the rest. Her Dax used to belong to an Ezri Dax who was Jullian's girlfriend. I whisper into T'Pol's ear, And you think your head is messed up. Hey, T'Lana said. You want to eat this food or ware it? T'Pol snickered. And smiled. Some things did not change. Laughing, What do you mean eat or ware it? I just sat down in my chair and propped my chin in my hand.. Women... Both the girls laughed and kisses jar'an on the head. Properly chastised, I asked, Could we please eat now my lady? T'Lana Sits down and eats dinner with my husband and Sister, Now This is the T'Pol I know. Smiles and laughs welcome home sister. We have missed you.

Well T'Lana, tell T'Pol about Dr. Bashier. Is he as dreamy as I said? T'Lana gave me a wicked glare. He is magnificent. Tall and smells so good. He has a stare that could melt your soul. Jar'an here arranged for him to give me away at my wedding. T'Pol said, I heard about the wedding but was never able to watch it on the view screens. Well we do have a recording of it. You can watch it here. May I watch it tonight? I can't sleep. It rare that I sleep anymore since my daughter's and Trips death.

You can watch it right here with us. Maybe later, we can see pictures of your baby girl and Trip ok? Well drink your coffee and we will have some ice cream. Just then, the door to Jar'don's house opened and he slowly began to walk up the sidewalk. It took the old man a while but he made it to the Patio table and sat down slowly. I held back as long as I could and everybody else was too I just started snickering and then like a dam bursting we all cracked up. Poor Jar'don so red faced, just put his head in his hands. Both the girls began to laugh and we both said we remember those days of making love nonstop. Yes I would love to see your wedding and I will show you what pictures I have of Trip and our little girl. T'Pol Starts to tear up.  
Sipping my coffee, I chime in to our shared link. That was informative. Talking to Jar'don, Want some coffee? The poor man said Thank You.

Snickering I said better than any Avatar ever could be aeh? He turned beat red and hid his face in his hand. Jar'don said Your not going to let this go are you? Laughing, I said, Nope. T'Pol, I asked, Are you ok? Looking into the night T'Pol said, Seeing all this again, it is so wonderful to be back.  
The cords have been cut off your wings Child.

They will be sore for a while, but in time you will grow strong and fly again. Just remember small steps. Jar'don looked around. That sounded profound. What did I miss? T'Pol said, Thank you, still crying I have been so alone for so long. I missed my family. I miss Trip and my baby. Being on Vulcan has been so hard.  
I took a moment to think T'Pol, The old habits and wounds of the past will always be with you. But with love and time you will get better. Look at yourself now. You're getting better already.  
T'Pol said, Holding my nephew really was so wonderful. He told me mommy and daddy's home yours too. That's why I kissed his little head. He is so smart and yet so young. Well Jar'don finished his coffee. I have to go work my shift at the spaceport. Good night folks and Jar'an, Thanks.  
Just then, Jardon dropped his cup. Jar'el said what? Jar'don, Jar'el has been using the link to talk to us. T'Pol said, I am sorry, father did not know? Well, I said, He was dealing with allot so T'lana and I wanted to wait to make sure Jar'el was able to do it regularly. T'Lana said, its ok dad was going to find out sooner or later, We where trying to keep it a secret. T'Pol, Some people will view little Jar'el as being different. All my life I have had to deal with people that judge me. That's why I have this island now. A safe refuge, where our friends and we can go and shed any guilt or shame about being different.  
So for now, I would appreciate it if you told no one outside this island about Jar'el. Ok? T'Pol said, With my life and honor as a Vulcan, you have my Promise. Good, Now about that wedding movie. It's inside. Just come and sit on the bed and press this button. Click. The walls opened, and view screen lowered. And we access the file like this. Click. The movie started. T'Pol was raptured. It's so beautiful. Your dress. The flowers. You did all this for my sister.. All this and more, I said. Wiping tears she continued to watch. T'Lana sat down beside her on the bed holding her in her arms as they watched and cried. After the movie stopped, I looked over and little sister T'Pol was asleep in her sister's arms. I chimed in my mind link to T'Lana. She is exhausted. Let's tuck her in. She can sleep here with us.

Tlana and Jar'an woke up and T'pol was still asleep, Lets let her sleep she needs the rest honey. Tlana walks into the nursery and checks on Jar'el and picks him up. Carrying him she walks into the living room and feeds the baby. Honey can you fix us coffee please. I love you.  
Here is your coffee Honey. I need to talk to you about your sister. I sense a wall put up by you. She knows things are changed. Yes, she likes girls, but she has known the power and passions of bonding with a man now. She doesn't want your body honey. She only wants your love. And in less than 2 months, she will need to know a man again, or die. Don't fear her. I love you. I trust you. She just wants to be physically close to you. To touch Or even to kiss you. It's just her expressing her genuine love for you. Not her desire for sex with you. I melded with her at the office. She knows that page has passed. Next week we will set her up with Dr. Bashier. If that doesn't work T'Rel is single and his time is drawing near too.

T'Pol said, We have have gotten to know each other a little more, today while I was feeding Jar'el. All she what's is to be loved by me and her family again. T'Pol told me she felt like a baby when she slept next to us last night. Slept well is right. That girl can snore. It's like I said last night. She is like a bird that has had its wings tied down for so long, she forgot how to use them. Now, here, she is cut free, but her wings are sore and weak. In time she will grow stronger and start to fly again. She is out there in the garden Trying to do her Meditating. She seems to be having problems. I will go out there and do my meditation with her. It may help her. Ok sweetie, Kiss, Maybe all three of us should be with her and help her link.

Walking outside, I sit down beside T'Pol. Beautiful day. Looking at T'Pol. You seem to be uncomfortable. T'Pol said something I ate, disagreed with me last night. Where does it hurt honey? Pointing to my belly. Here or lower down. She said lower down.. Ouch, she griminess-ed with pain. I looked down and between her legs a small patch of blood was forming. I took of my robe and wrapped her up in it. Standing I scooped her up and carried her into the house and showers to wash off. T'Lana was about to panic. I whispered in her ear. She is having her period. Its the first sign of a female Pon Far event send a servant to the guesthouse to gather her clothes and things and bring it all up here. Standing there naked I looked into T'Pol's eyes. Do you trust me? She looked down and so did I. Oh, Sorry about that. I grabbed the blood stained robe and wrapped it around my waist.

Better? She shook her head yes. The cramps hurts but its normal so lets get you out of these clothes and washed up. Standing there naked like a child, with total trust, she let me touch and hold her. Never taking advantage or even touching area's only her mate should touch. Also, to make her comfortable, I had T'Lana there in the shower with us. And with her help cleaning the private area's, we got her cleaned up. I noticed the scars on her back. They were old but still very visible. Child, Who beat you? Students and choolmaster did this while I was growing up on Vulcan. They beat me, to make me like them. T'Pol growled, Those Bastards. And they say they are civilized. T'pol you are never going back to Vulcan again. I promise. I sat down and held her tightly, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled tight and began to cry. I swear to on my life that no one will ever beat you again. T'Lana can you help her with using those period medical supplies. I don't know if she ever used any before. No wonder she is so frightened.

T'Pol tells me, Honey I will take care of T"pol, Will you please go and check on our son? Let me look after her from here on. T'pol, sis you know what to do with these items right? Yes sister I have used these items before. T'Lana, For a while, I want her to live here in the main house with us. Is that ok? T'Lana said, Yes, it is ok and I would not have it any other way. T'Lana is right. In your growing condition being around a man will be difficult. Please forgive me. T'Pol looked up at me with tear stained eyes. Nothing to forgive. You love me. You care. You don't judge. You really love me. T'Pol, I said, do you want me to tell your daddy about all this? About the beatings? T'Pol, still shaking, said, Yes, Please tell my father.

T'Lana Comes over and sits down next to T'pol and holds her in her arms rocking her back and forth. All of us were crying. It will be alright sis. T'Lana Kisses her forehead. You are so loved here.  
I walked out and grab two robes and wrap a warm soft robe around T'Pol and one around T'Lana. She sat back down and continued rocking and hugging T'Pol. I will go check on Jar'el and call Jar'don.  
T'Lana said, OK Jar'an, please hurry back to us. I grabbed a towel and washed off the blood from my body and went out and dried off.  
Throwing on my clothes, my hair still wet I grabbed my communicator. I looked at Jar'el he was sleeping and ok. I walked outside. Flipping open my communicator I hollered.. Jar'an to Jar'don. Where the hell are you? I don't give a shit what you are doing. Get here in the house in our showers. Your daughter T'Pol, is hurt. Slapping closed my communicator. I stomped back in and grabbed up Jar'el and went back to the showers.  
There in the shower chairs T"Pol falls asleep in T'Lana's arms. I see Jar'an come running back in. T'Lana look at me.. Saying to my mind she is finally asleep. Jar'el is fine. I will look after him. You take care of T'Pol. Her daddy is on the way. Good thing I'm holding the baby. I so want to kick his ass over this. T'Lana says, Calm down. She needs us calm and so does the baby. I hear foot steps, Jar'don comes running in. Is she all right? Growling at him I got nose to nose and backed him up. They beat her. Continuously for years they beat her. Those fracken pointed eared bastards beat her into submission. You sent her to a hellhole.

Now, before I loose my temper, I'm going to the kitchen to care for my child. I suggest you stay here and do the same for your child.  
T'Lana asked, Honey where is the baby? Be careful with your temper. I have him honey, he is fine. He saw Ant hurt and is mad too. Its ok Jar'el, She will never be hurt again. Here, Honey, Have a bottle.. Jar'el chimed in, Daddy, Mommy, Granpa, Aunt ok? so sad.  
Yes Jar'el, we sad. Bad people hurt Aunt T'Pol. They never will again.  
T'Lana said, Nobody will ever hurt this family again sweetheart. Now daddy is going to hold aunt T"pol and I am going to finish feeding you.  
I walked back in the showers. Jardon was cradling T'Pol in his arms, shaking with grief over what they done to his daughter. I knelt down to be eye to eye with T'Pol. Honey, you feeling better? I swear to you honey. No one will ever hurt you again. Monday, when we go back into the office I want you to resign your commission and break all ties with the Vulcan's. If they so much as squeak any complaint I will break all ties with them having anything to do with Trill again.  
T'Lana, Walked back into the shower. I turned back to her, T'Lana, Please tell T'Pow, about this. She is an honorable person. T'Lana, pulls her communicator out and contacts Lady T'Pow and asks if she can meet tomorrow.

Oh my god!, I turn to T'Lana, Do we have any Trill students in Vulcan schools? T'Lana said, no thank god. I ask, Isn't their a student exchange program? Surely that program ended long ago.. I hope so.. Beating an off worlder is a serious crime here on Trill. T'Pol said, All trills go to the Academy here on trill, None on Vulcan. What about Vulcan teachers and principals? T'Lana said, none are allowed to teach on trill we just now open to off worlders. I looked at T'Pol's father with anger. Jar'don.. Pull yourself together.

Speaking to T'Lana, Honey, Maybe you should take T'Pol in the bedroom and let her sleep. That way you can watch Jar'el. T'Pol was shaking. Still haunted by the memories. I melded with her as T'Rel Taught me. I called for calm and focus. Smell the ocean and the flowers. Feel the breeze. Rest your mind now. You are loved.. Rest now.. Ok? I pulled back out of the Meld Link. Ok T'Lana please take her to bed. Her is some extra towel's in case you need them.  
Jar'don asked what else is wrong with her. Its personal Jar'Don. Girl stuff. Her Time is coming. I have made arrangements for that but she is so scared. She has suffered far more than we ever knew. I should have seen this when she went swimming in the pool. It was just too dark.

T'Lana Took T'Pol by the hand and leads her to the bedroom, Seconds later, she screams out I need help in here. T'Pol has passed out. Jar'don scooped her up and laid her on the bed. I was already scanning her. No injury's inside. She is exhausted. Her Endocrine system is way out of balance. She hasn't slept for allot more than just a few days. I gently shake T'Pol she stirs. Honey? When you eat? Do you go and throw it back up? Weakly, T'Pol said Yes. I continue, For how long now? She said, 4 Months. Need to stay slim. To find a good man. T'Lana was horrified. Sister why haven't you told us we could help you, we are your family and you will be ok and will start to eat. It doesn't matter what you look like as long as someone loves you for you.

I gently kiss her on the forehead. Not any more. Relax now and sleep. Jar'don Hand me that Hypo. I dialed up a mix of multi vitamins to help balance her out, and gave her the shot. T'Lana, Stays with T'Pol and makes sure she sleeps and has the nanny take care of changing his diaper. Rest Now, T'Pol, T'Lana will be back in a minute. I guide T'Lana and Jar'don to my office and close the door. Jar'don, The walls in her mind are all down because of the loss of her strength.  
What I saw in her mind. The memory fragmentation They beat her into submission. Possibly used electron shock therapy to scramble and retrain her brain. She needs a Doctor. T'Lana, call your personal Doctor. Pay him in cash. No paper trail. Let him use our medical scanner not his. No Vulcan butcher will ever set a hand on her again.  
T'Lana said, Understood, I called, He is on his way. No Vulcan will touch her again .That's my promise too.

Jar'don, I remember how T'Rel Melded with me and ordered my mind. I can go in and help her. Order things restore memory fragments. Suppressed memories and emotions. It will take a while. She is your daughter. Do you want me to do this. She will remember everything. good and 'don said, When she left they cut off all communication. No messages, Letters Nothing. I have seen you use this gift of yours. I don't understand it. But if you can help, Please do so.  
T'Lana, I'm going in her mind. What ever you see. What ever you hear do nothing. I looked over to Jar'don. Remember when I drew T'Lana out of the coma? I got to go deeper Keep people away. No body but us and the Doctor. Understood?... Good. we walked out of the office.  
T'Lana, Make sure the nanny stays with the baby and the three of us stay in the bedroom alone,for T'Pol. I sat down on the bed and closed my eyes. Then I placed my hands on the sides of her head. Inside the link, Hi Honey, All is well now. Your body is resting. Now we can talk.  
I smiled and said, Who are you little girl? Jar'ans voice changed to that of a small girl. T'Lana instantly recognized it is Young T'Pol. She said, My name is T'Pol.. My daddy killed in transport malfunction... Alone... Spotted man find me...Love me…Give me home... Sister so sweet... We shared everything... Swam and played together...She older.. Grew faster.. Very smart.. Protected me.  
One Night.. Spotted man was crying... Sister's Mommy Gone... Sister crying. I hold her.. So sad.. Shaking..  
T'Lana could take it no longer. Holding dads arm turns and cries into his shoulder. Sister Brothers packed up and left... Spotted man wanted them to stay...They argue... Spotted man pack everything...Move to small place.. Strangers watching me...  
Gray haired man watching me.. Our ears same... He no smile... Eyes Cold... Argues with Spotted Man... Makes him cry...sign papers.. Gray haired man takes my hand... Go on long trip...  
Trip to Strange Place... Dark... Cold inside... Hot outside... Always Quiet. Many tests.. Needles...Hurt...Cold Table. Many strangers... Hard eyes... Wires... Needles...Hurt...Pain... I get free Run Away... Gray haired man beat me... Made me stay in small room.. No Window.. No sunlight.. Dark ...No Talking... More wires... Needles... Arms... Hands... Head... Pain...Exhausted, I have to pull back out for some Rest.

T'Lana was her hand on his chest, Dad how could you let them do this to her, We loved each other she was my baby sister. I open my eyes My voice is horse.. Please, Some water. T'Lana gets me a glass of cold water. She is scared. Honey, are you both ok? I take a long drink. My voice changed didn't it.. Took another sip.. Her Voice... In her state all her walls are gone. She is too weak to resist..Took another sip... They pumped her body with drugs.. Shocked her more times than she could count. Beaten, Shocked, Drugged. Its a mess in there. The bastards tried to wipe her brain. No memories, No ergs, No desires for women. She kept hearing Retard over and over again.  
I'm ok just tired. The Doctor will be here soon. Don't leave her alone. she might hurt herself..

This wasn't retraining.. She was tortured...T'Lana was angry and crying. Damn them and damn you dad for letting them take her and do this to my sister. It's not his fault. I heard the argument. It was like going backward in time. It really was as he said. And allot more.. Tell her Jar'don. Tell her or I will. Jar'don dropped to his knees and sobbed like a baby. T'Lana got scared again, Tell me what?  
They wanted to take you too. Everything done to her was to be done to you too. He fought tooth and nail but could only save one of you. He has buried his grief for a very long time. That's why you stayed Jar'don. To protect her.

T'Lana asked, Why me? I am not Vulcan. They have no claim on me.  
Her desires for women attracted attention. They believed you both to be...Retarded... her's was more pronounced. All you two ever knew was you were making each other feel good. Expressing your love. Probably one of the reasons the Vulcans hired you in the first place. To keep watch on you. See if you would go after her. Then they would grab you and retrain you..Because you are Trill the authorities would not allow it. Not so with T'Pol.T'Lana said, When I was visiting and at meetings, on Vulcan I could hear in my head people talking about me. I could hear in my head, someone told T'Pow I was the one, She told that person I was never to be touch or harmed.

T'Pow, just may have saved your life. As messed up as she is inside I'm amazed she is still alive. There is no telling how long this perverse corruption has continued or even who else is involved.  
I take another sip of water. As fate, would have it. They put her on a ship of humans, thinking if the mental training didn't hold she was no great loss.

They never expected she would fall in love with a human Male. Or even risk having a child with him. They thought she would go after one of the human females.T'Lana says, I so agree honey, I am sorry daddy. They tortured her, and then wiped her mind of the torture. T'Lana Sits down and cries, its all my fault. We was so close I loved her so much. I'm sorry to say, My request to return her. Brought her mind back full circle. Her retraining is unraveling. Her emotional stability is really weak.T'Lana asked, Can we help her? Of Course I will, Honey. But it wont be communicator chirped, opening it I listened. Slowly, I got up and turned off the security shield. Go ahead Transport. The Doctor shimmered and stepped off the pad. Jar'don guided him to T'Pol.

I reached for T'Lana, Honey help me to the office. T'Lana asked, Why are we going to the office honey? To talk privately. I'm too tired to use the , T'Lana comes with you to your office and shuts the is allot of pain in there. So alone. So frighted. The only way to destroy the hold a memory has on you is to face it. She will have to relive allot and its ugly. I pointed to my head. chimed in the mind link, and said, Doctor is coming. He has questions tell him nothing. Ok honey , T'Lana said, I hear T'Pol asking where we are.  
I walk out with T'Lana. Looked at the bewildered T'Pol. Hi Girl, you've had a busy day.T'Pol said, I love you and miss my big sister. Doctor says I can stay here with you and my family. Yes sister you are staying right here with us and staying on a vacation for a while.  
How is she Doctor? I asked, Well a Vulcan doctor should see her, but I see no predominate damage. You need to take better care of your body young lady. It's a good thing you have so much love around you.  
I pressed a couple bars of Gold pressed Latinum in his hand. There is no reason to bother those people is their doctor? If I need anything I can always contact T'Rel.

The doctor closed his hand and put the contents in his pocket.  
No real concern,said the Doctor. But I have seen this before. Your time is coming and only one thing will resolve your "Difficulty". First, Rest.. Drink lots of fluids. High protean meals. and reduce stress.  
T'Lana held her hands. Polly,she said, I will be right here the whole time with you and we will find you the right man to help you when it is time. I promise. The Doctor shook my hand and said well I'm off to finish my weekend. I said thank you so much for this. It is extremely personal and we could only think of you to trust.  
The doctor stepped up on the pad and shimmered away. I reset the security shield. I turned and told Jar'don double, the security patrols especially the boat patrols. Anything tries to come sink it. Maintain power to shields at full power. Jar'don asks what do you feel? I responded, Our good doctor has a bad mind.T'Pol heard me call her the name she has not heard in along time and she smiles. I hear you she said. T'lana smiles. We love you so back to Jar'don, Scan this room for any devices. T'Lana explains to me, she and I had nicknames for each other. Tpol sits up and hugs and kisses her cheek. Now I know I am home with my sister.

Scanning... Jar'don went around the room. and picked up a signal. Check the sheets.. No wait.. Its under the bed.. He bent down.. Yep.. there it is.. he handed it to me. Its Vulcan.. Take it outside and destroy it... No! wait... I pulled out my communicator. Jar'an to Vulcan compound. Second assignation attempt stopped. Killer vaporized. Impersonated Vulcan. Activate Security code level one. Evacuate to your ships and break orbit. I cut transmission. Wrote on a pad. Bag that thing so it can't hear. Once bagged. When the doctor mentioned his weekend plans, I sensed a memory overlay. The kind only a mind meld can do. Polly, I said, Everything is going to be all right. Rest now. You and T'Lana do your nasty girl talk. We love you so much Polly, T'Lana says, remember that ok ,even your nephew loves you.  
You sleep here with us tonight I said.. Chiming my mind link. Jar'don, Double all security, but don't let anybody see you do it. Let's see if we can catch somebody being bad. It's going to be a long night.  
T'Lana said, yes it sure is going to be along night, Polly is asleep in my arms. Chiming T'Lana's mind link, She Loves and trusts you. In her mind, you are the anchor that has been holding everything together. T'Lana said, I love her so much baby. And I said, And I love you both. Keep that phaser of yours handy. Things might get ugly. Set for heavy stun. Vulcan's can resist normal stunning levels.  
I'm going to trap a rat. And I just may squeeze the life out of him.  
T'Lana said, I will honey.

**The Lost Trill Chap Fifteen / Segment Five.**

(Vulcan's Disgrace)

It took a while, but things finally got quiet. I moved everybody to another bedroom and had fake bodies set up in our bed. It was dark out on the water. The undersea monitors I had chained to the sea bed, around the island, detected movement. Visual showed nothing. It wouldn't be the first time somebody used a cloaked vessel to do their dirty work. I had shape charges buried deep in the sand. The sensor vibrations in the sand from their footsteps told me where they were. 6 of them. Tall males from the depth of the foot prints their vibrations made.

They got closer. I chimed in to Jar'dons mind link. Hold back let them come. We will take them out on the patio. Each was using some personal cloaking device. Thermographs picked them up. There I said, the narrow spot in the walking trail. Take them there.. Ready...Now! Instantly, all the lights came on and Phaser fire was everywhere. I touched off the shape charges. 4 of the six were killed outright. Their bodies torn apart from the blast.

The other two split up. Jar'don went after one. I went after the other. My weapon was set for heavy stun. I reset it to kill.. I saw him. His cloak reflector's were damaged by the blast. He was looking up at the upstairs window and raised his weapon to fire upon the house. Instantly, I took aim and fired. Lasering his weapon in half and cutting off his hand in the process. The Vulcan attacker screamed out in pain. I stood over him and pulled off his cloak mask. It was Tra'le. Cheif of security for the Vulcan compound.

T'Lana was frantic. She came out phaser in hand along with T' secons she saw him, there was no escaping her reaction. T'Pol looked as if she was going to pounce on the prisoner. You! She growled.. Bastard,, Torturer, Murderer, Butcher-er..I handed her a long hard rubber hose.

Here enjoy yourself. I want to hear him scream.. T'Pol grabbed the hose and began to beat the man senseless. Screaming in agony from the beating he was getting. I yelled out what's the matter Retard. You can dish it out but can't take it? Exhausted, T'Pol stepped back wiping the splattered blood from her face.

T'Lana had never seen such violence and carnage. T'Pol was just about to start again when T'Lana grabbed her and hugged her to calm her down. I pulled out my communicator. I pulled out my communicator. This is High Minister Jar'an. The Vulcans just invaded my island compound and home trying to kill my entire family. We have wounded and dead here. Mostly the attackers. On my orders, surround and seize the Vulcan compound. If anybody resists, kill them. I flipped a switch. Jaran to Jar'don are you ok? He walked up covered in blood. Turning on the prisoner, but your friend is in little pieces as you soon will be you pointy eared bastard. I said, Call your people bring six body bags.

T'Pau is going to receive a special delivery. I picked up the cut off hand and gave it to Jar'don. Have this sent to T'Pau. Tell her I will be expecting her In the main hall tomorrow at high sun. I was so angry I didn't even notice I was bleeding from a shoulder wound. I touched the blood. Staring at it I began to shake. You bastard. You attack my home. Endanger my family. I picked up the hose and hit him right in the nuts. You're never going to have a family now. Then I hit him again. Screaming in agony. I said go ahead. Scream you bastard. You will scream from now on if I get my way. Scan him for weapons or poison.

Then tie him up. Gag him and throw him in the body bag. In fact gather and bag up everything and bring it to the main hall guns and all. Nobody gets cleaned up. Get a camera crew out here. I want all of Trill to know what happened here. All of Trill was in shocl The media flew their shuttle over Jar'ans home. It looked like a war zone, with bodies in body bags, Explosion Craters, Blood all over the patio and the family. At high sun we shimmered in beaming straight to the main hall. The audience gathered, was a gasped at the site before their eyes. Armed troops were patrolling the streets everywhere and now all of Trill will know why. Dragging the squirming body bag. I grimaced at the pain in my shoulder. The other ministers threw off their robes and came to our aid. T'Lana was holding Jar'el tightly. Watching but was very scared. T'Pol stood there and kicked the moving body bag and still covered in blood walked over to Jar'don who was dripping in it.

Pushing everybody back, I stood back up. I screamed out in white hot rage, Look at me, last night all of Trill was betrayed. A group of Vulcan bastards, hell bent on assassinating myself, T'Pol and the rest of my entire family, showed all of us that we can trust them no more. The site was gruesome and I meant for it to be so. I pulled my communicator out and growled, beam her down here.. Pointing to a spot of blood on the floor. Right here, Right now. Nobody had ever seen the anger I was displaying. All stood frozen and deadly quiet. She shimmered in with two escorts. My police seized them and took their weapons. T'Paul stood alone among the body bags and blood. Still in pain from my wound, I showed her the blood on my hand. Vulcan's have spilled the blood of those who trusted them. These bastards tried to kill me and my family last night. What have you to say about this. T'Pau looked around and knew there was nothing she could say.

With all of Trill watching, She dropped down to her knees and bowed her head to the floor. I stood over her wanting very badly to kill her and I told her so. She said For all of Vulcan, I beg forgiveness. Screaming with rage, Forgiveness! Jar'don open the back of T'Pol's uniform and show her. T'Pol turned around and Jar'don ripped open the uniform. All of Trill saw the savage scars, Burns and mangled flesh on her back. Everybody gasped and began to cry.

T'lana was nowhere to be found and guards are missing as well.

Pointing at her Look at what your people have done. Twenty years ago you Vulcan's took a child away from her father and savagely beat, Tortured mentally and physically raped her into submission to your way of life. Kicking the bag Jar'an said, this thing here. Tried to hide all this by murdering me and my family. T'Poll started to shake. She shook free of dads grip and walked slowly over to the kneeling High Minister of Vulcan. Her face stained with blood and tears. She stood over T'Pau. Your planet and your people are dead to me. I never want to see you again. And then she spat on T'Pau. And stumbled back over to her father.

Exhausted from blood loss and lack of sleep, I told her. I want your word. That this low life piece of genetic shit will scream for the rest of his life I unzipped the bag and T'Pau saw who it was. Also, I want you to take your people, all of them and leave this world. We will honor our trade agreements with Vulcan. But no Vulcan will set foot on this planet for a very long while. Take all this mess and go. Your compound will be pulverized, even if I have to tear it down with my bare hands.

The dirt underneath will be scrapped and dumped in the deepest part of our ocean. Nothing will be built there ever again. It will be converted into a park where anybody can go and express their love any way they choose. I signaled them and the guards threw down the Vulcan guns they captured. Take your garbage and your guns and go. Release her guards. I turned away and stumbled a bit. T'Pol ran over and hugged me. As T'Pau stood, T'Pol said to her I am Trill. And she turned her scared back to her as she helped me to a chair.

T'Lana came through the crowd. Her guards bloodied and torn dragging another body bag. T'Pau wait I have something for you, Gaurds come over with 2 Vulcan's were found hiding and badly beaten. Remember what I told you before? Good, now take your trash and your Vulcan butts off our world. I promised to kill anybody that hurt my family. That one is Dead.

Bit by bit the bodies and guns shimmered and vanished till only T'Pau stood alone. She said I am sorry. Then she shimmered and vanished. Their ships loaded, the broke orbit and left. T'Lana Walks over to Polly and hugs her tight, I love you sister and always have and will. You are home now let's get our family home and take care of them. The med tech's were tending to me when my wife ran up and hugged me. Jar'el said, Daddy strong now. T'Lana looks up in my eyes and smiles, Ask's now can we please have a normal life. I spoke to the Minister Counsel. The army is to stay in place. No outsider trouble will be tolerated. I am taking my family and I'm going home. Take care of things for a while. Contact me only if you have to. Let's go.

I looked at my wife and TPol and Jar'don and then at Jar'el and said what's Normal? We all laughed. Then we shimmered and vanished. At home, I got bandaged up. Security crews were cleaning up the mess outside. A few hours later, it was all gone. We piled up our bloody clothes in the fire pit and burned them.

T'Pol looked up and over to Jar'an. She let go of T'Lana's and daddy's hand and walked over to me. She didn't say anything. Nor did she have too. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed tight, and said Thank You.. Now I really am home..

**Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Sixteen / Segment One.**  
(Secrets)

Waking up was fun, as we were both stuck together. Pulling apart pulled on some sensitive places. Once we got apart I went and got us both a hot washcloth soaked in warm water. Feeling a little better, we both laughed at ourselves and climbed in the showers.  
Little Jar'el chimes in Our Mind Link. Mommy, Daddy Funny haha..  
T'lana said, Jar'el honey one day you will know the love your father and I have. You will find you a beautiful woman to love and have forever. Jar'el says in our minds ewwwwwwwwww girls. We both laughed.

I chimed in to the link. Son, when you are older, I have some secrets to share with you about girls. Getting dressed I thought well us men are off to work and you women get a chance to play. I just got my pants on when I was almost floored by a stabbing pain in my head. I yelled out and hit the floor. T'Lana screamed my name. Scrambling back to my feet. I hollered out. I'm all right. My vision blurred for a moment and then came back. T'Lana was in a panic. She was about to hit her auto transport. When I said No No, It's not me! Oh Gods No! Not again. I scrambled madly to my feet and ran out the back of the house in a dead run.

T'Lana followed me screaming. The security forces went on alert and Jar'don came out running. I ran right past him Hollering it's Polly! I tried to open the door. It was jammed. Jar'don and I both teamed up and forced the door open. Polly was laid out on the floor all twisted up. I ran in and scooped her up and hit my auto transport. Jar'don hit his and T'Lana ran back into the house and grabbed Jar'el and hit hers. Polly tried to link but was very weak. Crying, Help me please someone help. The second I stepped off the transporter pad Alarms were sounding. Nurses and doctors came running with a freshly made up gurney. The doctor was the same one that worked on T'lana. He asked is it T'Lana? I said no its Pollly Bashier. Notify her husband Jar'don. He is on staff here.

They tried to stop us from coming inside but there was no chance of that. I felt her spasm in pain and collapse. It almost knocked me out too. The Doctor scanned Polly. What is this? She looks like a Trill but she is Vulcan. I had to tell the Doctor She was taken as a child and tortured by the Vulcan's, because of that, she chose to be like us. It almost killed her. She turned her back on them and had herself changed as much as she could to be like the people she loves. Like the daddy she loves. Jar'don here adopted her as a child and raised her as a Trill. Bashier was shaking the tricorder. This can't be right The Trill doctor scanned her with another scanner and looked at Bashiers. Confirmed. It's Tazacks disease. Nurse 15 CC's Attanol. Just as soon as the nurse gave her the shot, she began to stir. Polly opened her eyes. And said, my head hurts. Bashier stayed by her side comforting her. The Trill Doctor said if she lay there just a few more minutes. There would have been no saving her. Bashier heard that and ran across the room and hugged me hard. Thank You-Thank You he said. When he let go, I sat down hard and almost passed out myself. Bashier caught me and scanned me you forgot your blood pressure pills again didn't you. I said, I was a little busy.

T Lana asked her Trill Doctor what is Tazacks Disease? The Doctor sat her down next to me. It's a Vulcan neurological disorder caused by traumatic events. Literally a brain overload. According to her history, she suffered from it after being forced during a mating meld rape. It was cured but only two events I know of can re-trigger it. One is another force meld and the other is pregnancy.

Thinking back to what all we went through when she came back. That would explain why she had a hard time focusing when she meditated. Doctor Bashier heard the word Pregnancy and whirled back around and scanned her again. Swallowing hard and getting a little weak in the knees He said she is pregnant. Jar'don had to catch him and sat him down in the chair beside me.T'Lana Laughs, men here the word Pregnant and get all crazy in the knees. Laughing, the Doctor checked and rechecked his findings.

Girl you have to take better care of that body of yours. Snickering, I said Really T'Lana? I thought it was that getting all crazy in the knees that got you pregnant in the first place. Polly, still bewildered, looks at Julian and everyone around. Will we be all right? T'lana swallowed hard and looks away with tears in her eyes. She tries to speak, But couldn't. The Doctor came back over to Polly, after checking my blood pressure. The trill Doctor said only a Vulcan mind meld from a skilled professional can stop the disease. Rechecking the scans, he said you are just about a week pregnant. Incredible!, I said. That's when she got married. Patting Jullian on the shoulder. You got good aim doctor. The other doctor and the nurses laughed.  
T'Lana got real quiet and that disturbed me. Honey, are you all right? Jar'don, let's get her out of here. This is where it all happened. She needs some air. Jar'don said, the press is outside. You take her and our child home. I will deal with these folks. He hit his auto transport and they shimmered away. Jullian I said, just be with your wife. She is going to be ok. I will send for a specialist and get the Tasacks matter taken care of. After turning to the Trill doctor, Jar'an asked, Can I borrow that white over coat? I'm a little under dressed. Sure he said, Putting it on I went out to face the press. They were scrambling for any bit of information. Folks I said, I understand you have a job to do. First, let me say that the first family is all ok. I had a slight strain when I scooped up Polly and rushed her to the hospital.

Dr Bashier came out and stood beside me. He said Polly wants to see you. Ok Folks, I have to go now, but the good news is the good doctor here is going to be a daddy. Polly had an imbalance caused by being pregnant and not knowing it. Needless to say, All this has come as a shock to us. But Polly is doing much better. A female reporter asked, "Is there any complications due to her being Vulcan? I got angry but held it back. Taking a deep breath. I told them all. Polly was once known as T'Pol Zee Tigan. Folks, where is your compassion. Where is your love. That young lady lying in that scary hospital room was viciously beaten and tortured by her Vulcan Teachers in order to force her to be like them.

You all saw the scars. You all saw the blood. You all remember the day those pointed eared bastards left. True, she was born Vulcan. . Fighting back tears, but her heart is Trill and I love her with all of mine. Sternly, I added and so should all of you! The female reporter took off her flower and gave it to me. Please give this to her from us. In front of all the camera's I knelt down and let that reporter place that flower in my outstretched hands. I held it to my bare chest and bowed my head to her and said Thank You very much. Looking around at all the others, I said you all could learn something from this woman. Then I stood and went back inside and placed the flower in Polly's hair. I stretched out with my mind. T'Lana.. Polly is fine.. T'Rel can fix her. I feel your fear. I'm coming home now. Polly will be released in about an hour. I love you.. T'lana was in tears and mind links back with you ok, I am ok.

This was too close my love. I had to run real fast. I am so sorry I scared you so. Something in my head said run no time run. I think it was Ezri..She gave something to Polly when she touched her. I don't know what it is. But it's important. Go comfort Daddy. He is scared..  
T'Lana said, Going back in the hospital scared the hell out of me, I felt sick to my tummy. Still crying. I said, I'm sorry baby, It all came back didn't it? Crying, yes honey, I saw myself laying there covered in blood. Thinking I lost the baby and knowing now I can never have another one. Crying so hard. It's ok baby I'm coming home now.  
I gave the doctor back his over coat. Thanks. I turned to Jullian. It's up to you now. Take care of her and get her home just as soon as they let her go. Don't use the transport device. Fly her back in. I will send my shuttle.  
Jor'don keeps knocking on the door, Dad uses a site to site transporter beam and beams into the bedroom. Finds T'Lana lying on the bed crying. Jardon asked, talk to me baby please. I shimmered in and hollered Jar'don.. T'Lana! Jar'don said in the bedroom. He got up and unlocked the door. I came in and hugged T'Lana tightly. I'm sorry honey. I didn't have time to think. Are you all right?  
T'Lana said, hugs me. Everything just hit me too hard.  
I pulled T'Lana close. Listen to me. Polly will be ok and we don't have to go back to that place. T'Lana said, Ok, my sister was in pain and you and it just gave me a sick feeling and I hear father's thoughts too. Crying, sorry leans over to the trash can and throws up.  
I said, EEEEWWWWWWW...Jar'don. The doctor said, she can be release in about an hour. Please fly back to the hospital and pick her up. Bring her and her husband home. T'Lana said, Sorry I am just a little upset. Yes I said, I guess that's the down side of the mind link. You feel their pain too. Checking you with my medical scanner. Called the nanny over. Please watch the baby and have one of the servants bring her some ice water and crackers.

One of the servants heard T'Lana Throw up and came right over with a cold compress and water and crackers. Shaking my head. Are you mind linked with them? T'Lana smirked, Not that I am aware of, You can hear me being sick. Dad comes back to me and links to my head, Dad what are you doing?Dad says trying to comfort you the way I made your mom feel better. It's ok to feel what your sister feels, You love her and she loves you. That's the bond that no one could break.  
I Chimed in to our shared link. So that's why My head felt like it was going to explode? T'Lana said, I feel everything, Her fear. Your fear. Why, I feel sick. Thinking back... And that's why I was so sick when T'Lana was giving birth.

The mind link, like the bond of love is forever. Looking over at Jar'don, My Gods, Jar'don. When Yannis died.. It almost killed you too..Is that why you and your sons argued? Your link is different now. Stronger.. More focused.. Lilianna is helping you.. I can feel her.. In you.. WOW.. Wait.. My eyes went wide.. Ezri..didn't leave.. None of them left.. The spirits.. They are here.. Trill is their home. I looked at T'Lana and back at Jar'don and smiled. Lilliana has been here before. You die and come back don't you? How many times have you come back? Jar'don stared at me for a long time. T'Lana couldn't read him. His mind was too strong. Jar'don pulled up a chair and sat down.  
T'Lana looks at both of us and says take care of our family, T'lana was and is my best friend and I know she is upset from what happen tonight. I am in T'Lana and will never leave her. Just as Ezri I will sleep inside. Looking at T'Lana, I smiled. Hello Yannis.. Now I know the secret of Trill. And why you protect it so. You have felt me.  
You know I love them both. Yannis in T'Lana's body leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek. You are a good man. Keep our secret. Others won't understand. I said I will, now and forever. Looking back at Jar'don, Nothing further to say Jar'don. I understand. Please go and bring our daughter home. Jar'don smiled. You are not lost anymore. He got up and went to go get Polly.

His mind link now gone. T'Lana came out of her trance. I looked at her with so much love. I just met your mom. She has a lovely spirit. She loves you so much. That's why she and all the others never leave. The bond of love is forever. T'Lana Looks at me and says, I'm Erzi. I need to speak to you .I do not have long. I said, Hello Ezri.. I understand. We are many.. But we are one.. Ezri's spirit continued, You must listen and protect our family, Only trust those around us. Her greatest fear is death. And she can feel everything from everyone around her. I will see you again in two months when its time of journey though our pasts hosts. You are a good man Jar'an ,Tell Julian congrats for his wife and baby.

I told her, I will. You gave Polly a piece of you didn't you. To bridge the DNA Gap and give her a child. Ezri said, Yes ,I did so she could conceive. It's only right to give the man I loved once the happiness he deserves. I asked, are you coming back through her child?  
Ezri said, No it doesn't work that way, I am only here because of my friend T'Lana I live within T'Lana. I only gave Polly and Julian what they so desire. Love of a child what we never had a chance to have. I hope you do not think that is wrong of me to want to help them?  
Then you approve of what I did for Kira?

Ezri Smiles, Yes I do approve. I love Kira too we kissed and loved life. Kira is head strong and we where the best of friends.

Sorry its time to go T'Lana is getting weak. Do not let her nurse the baby tonight. She will not be strong enough too. Promise until we meet again ,you will take care of our family. I said, I promise. Rest now. We speak later..T'lana came back. Jar'an I cant see you. What happen to me? You over stressed your body baby. Just rest. The baby has already been feed. All will be much better tomorrow..  
Baby why can't i see? My body feels like i have been through the journey already. I sit down on the bed beside you and gently brush you hair from your face. Well, In a way, You have. Yannis, your mother and Ezri spoke through you. T'Lana said, and I am blind from all this tonight?

Rubbing your shoulders. Just for tonight. Your body is tired and it must rest. Polly will be here soon. I must.. no.. I must stay here. I will send T'Rel a message on the link. I need to be with the woman I love..  
T'Lana Huged meso tight ,I am scared and but not afraid. I love you and our family. How is Jar'el, I need to hold him too please.  
I picked up the nasty trash bucket and washed it out. Jar'el has had a busy day. He is sleeping. I scoop him up and bring him to you. You cannot breast feed tonight. The spirits consumed allot of your body's energy to speak through you. The nanny has all ready fed him.  
Polly comes home and is placed in the guess

room next to us ,Julian knocks on the door just to let us know they are home and Polly and baby are doing very well. Julian asks what is wrong with T'lana? She is fine Jullian. Being at the hospital brought back too many bad memories. She will be better by tomorrow. A Vulcan friend will be here soon. He knows what to do. You and Polly can trust him. I trust him with my life. He wont stay long .Tell Polly before he comes so she won't be frightened. Ok, Jullian said, and thanks for today. Good Night.

After Jullian closed the door and left, T'Lana Holds Jar'el and Jar'an in her arms, I wish I could see both my men's handsome faces love you both. Lightly kissing both your eyes. You will again tomorrow.  
Will you tell me everything tomorrow? I am so tired. I love you so much. Kiss our baby, I kissed our baby on the forehead.  
I told T'Lana, I did.. He is still sleeping. I'm putting him back in the crib... You rest now. Come to bed when you are finished honey. I want to sleep in your next day, I was awakened by a beeping sound on my media controller. Ah, The news is on. I click the control pad and the view screen rose up and turned on.  
And Now, We interrupt this broadcast for an announcement from our High Minister. People of Trill. In the time I have served on this wonderful world, I have seen my Trill Brothers and Sisters advance both in education and the security of our planet. Our new and well trained police force has kept the peace fairly for both citizens and visitors. If any have an unjust issue, I want to know about it. If I find the issue to be just, I will say so.

If I find an issue to be unjust, I will take severe corrective measures. Visitor relations have never been better. Every day I receive reports of Trill Brothers and Sisters meeting and falling in love with a visitor. On occasion, this issue has become a source of friction. Today, in the hospital, I was reminded that we need to focus more on our love and compassion. Of all the peoples, of all the worlds, of all the cultures and languages, there is one constant. And that constant is love. We as a people posses a vastly different definition of love than many other cultures. Not long ago, I had a visitor shake my hand and tell me, When you say I love you, I actually believe you mean it.. I have never been so greatly complimented. Then today I am faced with continued anger and mistrust over a helpless Vulcan Child. I tell her every day, I love you and I mean it.

Can all of you say the same? You should. I and my family have the most reason to hate the Vulcan's. Today, I choose to turn away my anger and reopen talks with the Vulcan People. I have requested only two Vulcan's representatives be here at this time. The Vulcan's know and understand that this is probationary and can end at any time. Representatives T'Rel and his wife T'Lin have known our people for many years and I feel they will do a good job.

T'Rel Shook my hand in my office his new wife T'Lin was grateful for both these men. Her family can't pressure her to marry anymore and she actually found a Vulcan man she can love.I told him. (In front of the press.) You are my friend, but trust between our peoples will take time. Please review the trade documents I have questioned and adjust them as requested. T'Rel said I will do my best. Live Long and Prosper Jar'an, High Minister of Trill. I said, Live long and prosper T'Rel and T'Lin, as friends as Vulcan's and as a family. Then, I had a private matter to take care of. A Thank You known only by me and T' flowerpot was heavy, but the white rose plant inside smelled sweet. Jar'don and a few security people came with me. Nobody asked any questions. There wasn't any need.

Carrying that pot meant allot to me. What I didn't know was the cameras that followed me would make sure it meant allot to all the people of Trill. Our little group walked down the pathway of Ezri Garden. To the monument, and the plaque that bears her name. Silently and with reverence, I kneeled down and cleaned the plaque and the ground in front of it. The press cameras clicked.  
The video recorders were all lit up. But no one said a word. Many in the park stopped and watched. Jar'don gave me the shovel and I dug out a spot in front of the monument and gently placed the rosebush in the ground. It was beautiful. The white roses were blooming so I gave it some water and bent down and gently kissed the top rose. With tears in my eyes, I whispered Thank You.

The press looked puzzled. I got angry at first but then relaxed. Addressing them, I said, The day we dedicated this park. We were blessed with a visit from Ezri's Spirit. Today, I am here to say Thank You to her for the wonder she did for my family. I love my wife with all my heart. She helped give Polly a of the mixture of human and Vulcan DNA,The doctors didnt she could never have any children. Her first Child died some years ago. With tears of joy, I can tell you that my little sister,Polly is once again with child. Now, I must go and be with my family and share my love with them.

As you all should do with yours. Then I turned and walked back up the path. Leaving the press behind, we all shimmered away.

**The Lost Trill (New Family) Chap Sixteen / Segment Two.**  
(Baby)  
The next day, I was awakened by a beeping sound on my media controller. Ah, The news is on. I click the control pad and the view screen rose up and turned on. And Now, We interrupt this broadcast for an announcement from our High Minister. People of Trill. In the time I have served on this wonderful world, I have seen my Trill Brothers and Sisters advance both in education and the security of our planet.  
Our new and well trained police force has kept the peace fairly for both citizens and visitors. If any have an unjust issue, I want to know about it. If I find the issue to be just, I will say so. If I find an issue to be unjust, I will take severe corrective measures. Visitor relations have never been better. Every day I receive reports of Trill Brothers and Sisters meeting and falling in love with a visitor.  
On occasion, this issue has become a source of friction.  
Today, in the hospital, I was reminded that we need to focus more on our love and compassion. Of all the peoples, of all the worlds, of all the cultures and languages, there is one constant. And that constant is love. We as a people posses a vastly different definition of love than many other cultures. Not long ago, I had a visitor shake my hand and tell me,  
"When you say I love you, I actually believe you mean it".. I have never been so greatly complimented. Then today I am faced with continued anger and mistrust over a helpless Vulcan Child. I tell her every day, I love you and I mean it. Can all of you say the same? You should. I and my family have the most reason to hate the Vulcan's. Today, I choose to turn away my anger and reopen talks with the Vulcan People. I have requested only two Vulcan's representatives be here at this time.

The Vulcan's know and understand that this is probationary and can end at any time. Representatives T'Rel and his wife T'Lin have known our people for many years and I feel they will do a good job.  
T'Rel Shook my hand in my office his new wife T'Lin was grateful for both these men. Her family can't pressure her to marry anymore and she actually found a Vulcan man she can love.  
I told him. (In front of the press.) You are my friend, but trust between our peoples will take time.  
Please review the trade documents I have questioned and adjust them as requested. T'Rel said I will do my best. Live Long and Prosper Jar'an, High Minister of Trill. I said, Live long and prosper T'Rel and T'Lin, as friends as Vulcan's and as a family.  
Then, I had a private matter to take care of. A Thank You known only by me and T'Lana. The flowerpot was heavy, but the white rose plant inside smelled sweet. Jar'don and a few security people came with me. Nobody asked any questions. There wasn't any need. Carrying that pot meant allot to me. What I didn't know was the cameras that followed me would make sure it meant allot to all the people of Trill.  
Our little group walked down the pathway of Ezri Garden. To the monument, and the plaque that bears her name. Silently and with reverence, I kneeled down and cleaned the plaque and the ground in front of it. The press cameras clicked.  
The vedio recorders were all lit up. But no one said a word. Many in the park stopped and watched. Jar'don gave me the shovel and I dug out a spot in front of the monument and gently placed the rosebush in the ground. It was beautiful.  
The white roses were blooming so gave it some water and bent down and gently kissed the top rose. With tears in my eyes, I whispered Thank You. The press looked puzzled. I got angry at first but then relaxed. Addressing them, I said, The day we dedicated this park. We were blessed with a visit from Ezri's Spirit. Today, I am here to say Thank You to her for the wonder she did for my family.  
With tears of joy, I can tell you that my sister Polly Zee Bashir is pregnant . We almost lost her today and I believe it was Ezri who warned me. We got her to the hospital just in time. The Bashir family, is greatly loved and now soon to be greatly blessed with a beautiful healthy baby. Now I must go and be with my family and share my love with them. As you all should do with yours. Then I turned and walked back up the path. Leaving the press behind, we all shimmered away.

**The Lost Trill (Adversity) Chap Seventeen / Segment One.**

Meanwhile, back at the Council chambers the public meetings started. I knew my fellow ministers could easily handle these matters, but I needed to know the will of the people. I could feel the murmurs as the Vulcan representatives walked in and handed me the documents I questioned. Fed up with this foul attitude, I stood and said Hold. T'rel. T'Lin. Remain here please. Pointing at whom I thought was the leader in the crowd. You sir. Yes You. Stand forth and face me as an equal. I climbed down to the ministry floor. You and many others here are distressed at the site of these people? You want them to leave? Or do you want them to die? The man stood his ground. And said I want them gone. The crowd was definitely with him.

I gave them a look and they quieted down. Addressing the man before me. I asked, Why?. He didn't hesitate a second in responding. Because they hurt our people. Because they hurt you and your family. And because they took away the woman I loved. You dared to extend the power of your love to another? An outsider? A Vulcan Female? The man relaxed a little bit. Yes Sir, I did. She wanted to stay. They came and took her when they left. I walked back up on the podium and grabbed a pad along with the Vulcan documents.  
Giving the man the papers I said, Look at these. Can you read them? He said No. Pointing to these documents, I told him. Well in with all the trade agreements signed by the previous High Minister, are many signed documents such as these. Back at home, T'lana senses something is wrong and mind links with father and Jar'an to find out what is going on.

Jar'don said he is leading. Meanwhile back in the council chambers. Would it surprise you that T'Rel and his family translated these documents and a large quantity of our natural resources were given as gifts to the Vulcans? Would it surprise you to find out that this woman his wife, T'Lin came to me sick and injured and I healed her. Would it surprise you that this man T'Rel, her husband, came to me beaten by a mob hell bent on revenge for something they did not do?  
And I helped him back to health? Handing the man an information pad. Write this woman's name down on this pad and hand it to T'Rel, and ask him for his help. He did so and walked over to T'Rel. Sir, he said. Will you please find her for me? T'Rel looked around the room and took the pad. I will do what I can. The man walked back over to me. Today, I said, you have just shown me, and many others, the power of your love. You hate these people just because they are here, but you swallowed your pride and asked for help.

Turning and addressing the crowd and camera's, And this is what all of Trill needs to do. Set aside their anger and bitterness. These two people are not your enemy's. They never were. Walking back toward the podium turned back to the crowd and said, Now I'm not going to say to trust all Vulcan's. These documents demonstrate that it will take even more time for them to earn our trust. But these two people, T'Rel and his wife T'Lin, Have earned my trust. In time they may earn yours too.

We as a people are like no other when it comes to love. We are all called to lead by example, to those around us visitor or Trill. If we cannot turn away our anger and lead with love and compassion, then we can't lead at all. Everybody, Even the other ministers stood and applauded. After a moment to let what I said sink in, I raised my hands for silence. Now people can we get back to today's business?  
I chimed in my mind link to T'Lana, The Anger of the people still burns against the Vulcan's. It will take time for it to cool. All is well for now. T'lana Smiles, chiming back, I am glad... Had morning sickness this morning, honey. But I am ok I asked, did the Doctor visited you today. What did he say? T'lana said, That I am pregnant and we are doing well, he said I should not have a problem carrying this baby to full term.

I ask, Child and Birthsack are growing at the same rate?  
T'lana says, Yes honey, both are growing at the same time, I will have a checkup every 3 weeks until the child is born. I said, Good to know. These meetings here are so boring.. T'lana laughs I know baby. I tell her, I got to go for now baby.. See you soon. T'lana said, Ok sweetie.  
One thing the doctor did say to stay stress free and take it easy. I said, Yea...Right...Like that's going to happen with this family...  
I asked, Did Norvo get all settled in on the back side of the island?  
T'lana laughs. Jar'el chimes in Daddy mommy happy. T'lana Jar'el hush, yes dear he did. Daddy Daddy Daddy I chime in with Jar'el. Hi son. I hear you. I love you. Jar'el said, Mommy secret. T'lana said, son hush. I asked, What Secret? T'lana said, Don't worry honey, Jar'el please hush. Mommy has to talk to daddy. Trying to reassure T'Lana, I said, Yes...Son...Mommy Does need to talk to daddy. Jarel just would not let go of this. "DADDY DADDY DADDY" I said, Ok son.. Tell me Mommy's secrets. Jar'el said, Daddy three  
I said, Three what? T'lana said, Jar'el hush Honey I wanted to tell you when you came home. Now I am trying to listen to the people and to my wife and child in my head. I was getting irritated. All Right! Somebody say something..Now! T'lana said, We are going to have twins sweet heart, that's why Jar'el is saying 3  
My mind screamed,WHAT!

T'lana said, Yes my love we are having twins, that's why we are very blessed. Shaking my head.. Twins?...HOLY SHIT! TWINS!  
T'lana Laughs in your mind. Yes baby twins. Although I never heard a thing, The last case just got finished. Minister Telora looked over at me and thought I was going to pass out. I sat there mumbling for a moment. She asked if I was ok? I said, The doctor examined T'Lana. I looked up at her. She has Twins. Minister Telora cracked up. Hey everybody she said. Our High Minister is going to be a daddy twice over. The first lady is having twins! Everybody was laughing and applauding. I just sat there stunned. Shaking myself out of shock I said I got to get home.. I hit my auto transport and shimmered away. Minister Telora was still laughing as she walked out. T'lana still laughing, let the link go, Seeing you beaming in, She said, I told you I wasn't feeling well last night. Stumbling in to the bedroom and sitting down hard in the bed, And Now I'm not feeling well tonight..

Talk about good aim…Twins? Boys or girls? Do we know yet?  
T'lana said, We don't know yet, you me and our son knows.  
she reached over and hug and kiss doctor told me to take it easy and to avoid stress if I can. Jar'el was so excited when he heard the doctor say I was with twins. His responds was ewwwww girls. She hugged and kissed me back. T'lana Dax Daddy Daddy Mommy Girls ewwww. Jar'an was snickering Son Please. T'lana Laughs, Jar'el hush let daddy and me talk please. Girls ewwww. Hey Son. Girls are fun. You will get to teach them things.T'lana Rubs her belly, That's for sure honey. Oh and you know what Son?

They can teach you things too. T'lana said, Yes my sweet baby we love you and your brothers or sisters very much. Lying on the bed I placed my head on your belly. We are going to be a big family. You and me Trina and Norvo, Daddy and lilianna.. T'lana rubbing my head, If we have girls we need names and boys names too. Thinking out loud I said, Oh my gods we are going to corner the market in dirty diapers. T'lana laughs. Kisses my head. Tickling your belly.. We do have a pretty great family.. T'lana agrees, Yes baby we do and very happy family. Except Jar'el he doesn't like girls. Grinning wickedly, Well.. Speaking strictly from experience, when a boy figures out what a girl can do, that changes real fast. T'lana Smiles, I know the love we have for each other. One day our son will know this with the woman he chooses.

I know, I said. What worries me is all the girls he's going to go through, Just to find that perfect one. T'lana said, Look how long it took us to fine each other. Yea, I said, But look at what we all went through just to get here. T'lana said, Yes my love, I only hope that this time around will be ok. Suddenly my communicator chirped I pulled it out It's a text message. It's from Jan'el on Bajor. Kira miscarried this morning. She was hysterical and they had to tranquilize her. T'lana says, Oh no baby. Rubs my belly, Gods no. Excuse me a moment. I got up and went to the desk communicator and switched on the view screen.

Admiral Cartright, This is High Minister Jar'an.. Hello Jaran he said. I know I heard. Where is she. Down on Bajor. Admiral, hows your wife doing? She is in her last month. Why? Admiral we have had some serious violence here on Trill. A couple of assignation attempts. Is their any chance that somebody could have tampered with the fluid sample? No. Why? Someone wants to hurt me by going after those people I care about. Be careful. I have reason to believe whoever is pulling the strings, Is very high up in Star Fleet.

Be careful of your wife's baby. Human/Trill combination can leave a large baby in a small birth sack. Remember the last month of my wife's pregnancy? The baby kicked his way out. Human Trill Mix can create large babies. If that happens she could bleed to death in minutes. T'lana becomes very nervous about our family and our unborn children. Please have Jan'el bring Kira back here. If Bajor objects, Tell them it's a personal request From the High Minister of Trill. Cartright said I will and good luck.  
Trill out. Clicked monitor off. Come in T'Lana. I know you are listening. Come here honey. You walk over and climb in my lap. I love you honey. We are safe. T'lana said, I am afraid for the safety of our family and our unborn children. Honey, please don't let this gift be destroyed. Promise me. He Rubs her belly. I clicked the monitor on. No honey you stay here. Jaran to Ambassador Jackson. Scan your wife for the possibility of Katamine poisoning. We may have more trouble. And Jackson.. Tell no one.T'lana gets up and goes over to jar'el and picks him up and takes him to the couch and sits down. Jar'el chimes in, Daddy mommy scared.

Clicking the monitor controls. Jar'an to Jar'don, Have security scan the water supply and check the programming On all the replicators. Scan for ketamine contamination. Jar'don keep your wife away from all food and drink till it's scanned. We have another rat on our island.  
T'Lana stand there for a second. I pulled out my scanner. Good. No contamination. You and the babies are safe. Take this and scan the baby's milk and the other food in the kitchen. Honey, I know you are scared. It will be all right. I promise. Jaran to DS9. Cartright here. Contamination is confirmed. Security alert. Stop your wife from drinking or eating anything. Scan the fluid sample and stations food and water supplies for Ketamine.

In small amounts it's harmless but in pregnant females it can kill the baby. Jaran To Planetary Security, security alert level five all visitors are to be detained and scanned for Ketamine contamination and please have someone from the military scan the continent's water supply. T'lana Prays, Oh gods please watch over us and protect us. Ezri please help us. T'lana Puts Jar'el to bed and walks into the bedroom, Screams Jar'an help me. I jump up and run in the bedroom, what's wrong! T'lana Dax Sharp pain in my back. Omg, that was painful. Gods honey, You scared the shit out of me. Rubbing your back. There feel better? Scanning you again. See just some muscle spasms. Here scooping you up and placing you in the bed. Lay here and relax for a minute.

T'lana said, mmmmmm that is better thank you. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. The doc did say no stress. Like that is going to happen with all this. T'lana Dax lays on her side oh god that was painful. Doctor said that would happen because of the twins. Jar'don knocked on the door and came in I scanned everything and everybody. Your not going to believe where I found it.

Its in the pool and in the hot tub. The house water system is contaminated as well. We are back flowing through our filtering system The island should be free of contamination in about an hour. The city water supply is another matter. I closed the main valves and we are desalinating the water direct from the ocean. T'lana laments, Oh god why will they not leave us alone Trill has never harmed anyone. We only accepted people to open our borders. Mmmmm god the pain in my back again. Honey please try to calm down Ketamine is also an inert substance found our water filtration systems. We could just have a leak and nobody saw it. Jar'don checked the replicators. He has a couple dozen more to check but yours here at the house are just fine. Good Thank You. Please carry on. I went to the replicator and ordered up a big bowl of watermelon and berries and a huge glass of ice water.

Here baby eat this and relax. I will be right back. Jar'an to all television networks I need to make a public announcement.  
T'lana said, I don't want anything, not hungry. Too worried about our people and family. Dad did you know I am pregnant with twins?  
Jar'don almost faints. Twins? Wow!, Looking around to make sure nobody is listening. You and Jar'an need to slow down. You're just like Yannis. Can't get enough. T'Lana laughs wickedly. You seem to have lost some of your squeamishness. Grinning, Jardon said, Lilianna has been working it out of me.

T'Lana grinned wickedly at her father, Amongst other things I'm sure.. All right girl, now you're getting nasty. I got to get back to work. Meanwile back in the office, The networks all chimed in ready 3-2-1...People of Trill. By now you have been in contact with our combined police force and military personnel. We have found evidence of a contamination of the substance called ketamine. We believe we have located the source but for everybody's protection our security personnel are scanning everybody for any excess contamination. To all visitors. Please be patient. Once you are scanned you will be released to go your way.

All our entertainment facilities are being scanned for safety as we speak. So please everybody Remain calm. Hopefully we will have this matter resolved in a couple of hours. That is all Thank You..  
Flipping switches and changing channels, Jaran to Sisko. Please scan planet for any concentrated supply of Katemine. We may have an environmental issue here. Thank You.  
Rising up from the chair I got dizzy. I went and got some water and snuck a couple bites of T'Lana's melon. T'lana Lays in bed and stretches, honey what's wrong gets up and comes to you. Are you all right? I stop. You are right. We have people to see to all this. I am just trying to do too much. My God, What if Kira playing in our pool contaminated her body. If so the Fluid sample would abort. We may have killed her child and not even known it.T'lana Gets up out of bed and checks on Jar'el and finds him still sleeping. Walks into the kitchen looking for Jar'an, he is nowhere to be found. T'lana Hears your voice baby where are you? Chiming in to our mind link. I'm out here at the patio. Looking at our paradise and wondering if it was our fault Kira is suffering. T'lana Comes out to join me, Please don't blame yourself or us we all swam in the pool.

I know, It just doesn't make sense. Odo would have felt the Ketamine just as soon as he jumped in. Scanning the water in the hot tub and then the pool. These readings make no since. There is Ketamine present but nowhere near levels needed to cause an aborted pregnancy. T'lana Sits down in the chair, so what does all this mean?  
It means we have somebody that wanted to hurt Kira knowing they would hurt me. My communicator chirped. I pulled it out. It's a text message. Jan'el has Kira sedated. Transporting to island spaceport.  
T'lana Dax omg. Jar'an, how can we help here? God this all makes me sick who would want to hurt our best friends?

Walking over and sitting down beside you. An old enemy. The Federation President. But something like this would take a long time to show up. T'lana What about our children Jar'el and our unborn? I am afraid the pool and hot tub might have affected me. I held her hand, No honey, I scanned you and the babies. You are fine.  
My communicator chirped again.. It's another text message from DS9. Fluid container and Kira tested positive for Ketamine poisoning. DS9 checked bolt by bolt No further contamination.

T'lana said, Our children are safe. That's all I care about is the safety of our children right now. Snickering, I said, My fearsome little mother. I love you so much. T'lana gives me a hug, mmmmm. I love you to my brave husband and father. Well, by morning we will have Kira here. Where we can love her and comfort her. And the contamination will be gone from our island. Fortunately due to the late hour many of our people are at home.  
T'lana stiffens, JAR'AN, ITS ME EZRI, I CAN HELP.  
Hello Ezri, I love you for what you done but you can't stay. T'Lana is carrying twins. Can you transfer from her body to mine? Ezri said, I know this, will make sure she and the children are safe. No I am part of Tlana. I can help Kira if you let me. I said,Good, Rest for now. When she arrives we will help her. Ezri said, What I have planned you can do. If, you are willing. You know I love them both. What do you want? Ezri said, When it is time I can transfer enough energy into you to save Kira. and gave her what we gave T'lana a chance to have a baby. That would mean I would have to have sex with Kira again.  
Ezri said, No. T'Lana would never forgive me for that. Ezri said, Only a touch on her bare belly all you will have to do. I said, Rest for now. We will talk later. I love my wife. My body is , said, must leave so T'lana will be ok. I promise. Bye for now. Ezri, before you go. I kiss T'Lana's lips. That's for you. T'Lana you ok?T'lana, Yes, I think so. What just happen?

Ezri came out. She and I are going to team up and help Kira. But you and me need some food and rest. T'lana said, I agree my love. I am very hungry. Let me guess. A cheese burger and fries.. T'lana said, yes please and chocolate shake while going to dial up the request on the replicator, MMMMmmm That sounds good. I think I will have the same. You rest here at the patio table. I will get the food. T'lana smiles, ok sweetie, I will stay right here. Wait, One moment.  
I stretch out my mind to Polly and Jullian. They are on their way. Polly got scanned and cleared. Jar'dons eating with Lilianna.

T'lana was sitting. Looking around I see father and his wife coming into view. Dad glad you too could come. How are you guys?  
Yes,I added, Lilianna scanned clear didn't she?Jar'don said she is fine. It looks to me like all this is to cover up a targeted poisoning. Looking over at Jar'don, I agree. And when I find this rat I'm going to squeeze the life out of him. Somebody did this to cover up a direct attack on Kira and Telora she is in the hospital. Damn! They knew that if they hurt her it would hurt at Jar'don. I understand from your wife that she wants some alone time with you. That was you lilianna that sent me that image of the romantic dinner?

Lilianna and Jar'don said...Creepy... Jar'an. By the way the security lock down has been lifted. We found the source and sure enough the Filtration units have been tampered with. Each one had two filters operating with the barrier shields sliced open with a knife. T'lana says, Omg, Our filters too? Yes.

Somebody has gotten on our island to cause trouble. I will recheck the entire island personal tomorrow. Oh by the way, Your swift action saved three pregnancies in town tonight. Not to mention our girls here. How about Minister Telora? Is she alright? You said she was in the hospital. Jar'don said It doesn't look good. T'lana getting more upset. The more I hear all the hard news it just doesn't seem fair, omg You Jar'don. Please take your wife home and relax. I waited till they closed the gate. T'Lana ate her meal like a lawn mower eats grass. Damn girl eating for four? Giggling her chubby cheeks stuffed with food.

T'lana said, Sorry I am hungry, I could go for some ice cream  
Laughing, I said, Ok,Honey, you know, before when we were just us. Things like this happened all the time. According to the old minister's record logs. Minor acts of violence were covered up in order to allow more visitors to our world. Now that we are the first family of Trill Its on our heads to handle matters like this. Good thing is we can handle all of this. Baby's are alive tonight that would have suffered and died. Can you ask Ezri to help me help Minister Telora? Here is your ice-cream..T'lana takes my hand and places it on her side where the Dax is and I close my eyes. Talk to her honey she listens to us.  
Ezri I need your help for another. A woman, who has suffered much for a baby. Can you please grant me the power to save her baby?  
Ezri said through T'lana looks over to you and answers. I will do my best. But be careful we could hurt T' I understand. Put T'Lana first. Keep her said, Too much energy taken from her is dangerous. I asked, What do I do? I love my people. They are hurt because of me. Take my energy if you have to.

Ezri said, I will use both of you. Must touch their belles and that will be all. One at a time. Ezri says, I need to leave now. I will listen and wait for you. My sister needs to rest. I said, We must go now. Can you do it now? Ezri said, You need me now? One on their way here, but one is in hospital now. Baby poisoned by Ketamine and dying.  
Ezri said, Take us there now. I hit my auto transport and we shimmered away to the hospital. The second we appeared alarms sounded. Press was everywhere. The doctor came running .I picked up T'Lana/Ezri and placed her on the gurney. I whispered to the doctor. Take us to Telora now. Ezri said, When we arrive hold my hand and do not let go ,and place your other hand on the tummy of the sick mother. Only need 1 minute just a touch.  
We were rushed to her room. The minister was in the hospital bed her husband by her side. Doctor leave us. Guard the door. Ezri speaks to my mind does she trust us? Telora, We are here to help. Do you trust me not much time. Decide. Show me her belly. She pulls the sheet aside. I ran my scanner for effect. Confirmed Katamine poisoning. What you two are about to see tell no one do you understand. Ezri spoke. Hold my hand. Now place your other hand on her belly. Ezri said, you will see a blue glow of light and it is over.  
II grabbed the side of the bed to brake my fall. Everything went black for a moment.T'lana stirred. Jar'an, What happen to me?  
Telora screamed and the doctor flew back in and was scanning me and her. His blood pressure is off the scale. He gave me a shot and my blood pressure went back down. I started to wake up. OUCH My head. Did it work? The doctor helped me to stand. Telora and her husband were crying and hugging me The ketamine is gone. Doctor please help me to a chair. Please check T'Lana and the babies. Is she ok?

The doctor scanned T'Lana. She and the babies are fine. You sir are another story. I don't know what power you have but I do know if you use it again it could kill you. T'lana mind links Ezri I warned you to be careful. I spoke aloud when I should have used the mind link, but I had a headache. For the life of an innocent child I had to risk it. If we don't love each other we are all just walking pieces of meat that are dead and don't know it. Can I have some water? T'lana Wakes up and mind links did it work? I looked over at T'Lana Can't link. Head hurts, but it worked. I asked again, Can I please have some water? Somebody hands me a cup. I start to take a sip. I smell some thing. Scan this and the water pitcher.. The doctor scanned both. Gods, Its salted with katamine. Find the nurse that brought this in and arrest her.T'lana asks, What's going on? How is everyone?

I pull out my communicator. Jaran to hospital security Lock this hospital down. Nobody in or out. T'Lana asked, Honey what happened is somebody wanted to kill her and her baby and they were just here to finish the job. You are fine honey. Chiming in mind link the doctor knows nothing about Ezri. T'lana Sighs oh god how is our friends and there baby?Ezri cured them. But it hurt me. T'lana said, gods baby, says in a link you can't do it again. I told her. Trust me I know. My head feels like it exploded. My blood pressure shot off the scale. Her spirit is far more powerful than I ever imagined. Security knocked on the door.  
I told them, we have a killer loose in this building. Get 50 cc's Diasapan Mix it in a spray bottle of 1/2 Alcohol and water. Shake bottle and spray hands. It will stick to the Katamine and glow blue under black-light.T'lana lying on the gurney next to the bed of our friends wondering why someone wants us dead. Some nurses brought us in some fruit and coffee. The security guard scanned it and cleared it. T'Lana perked up and began to eat..T'lana said,I eat like a horse being pregnant with twins.  
Telora starts to laugh and grimaces with pain. The doctor scans her. Looks like its time to deliver the baby. You just started labor. Doctor I think that is our Que to leave. T'Lana grabs another berry and a big sip of coffee . We all laugh again and I hit my auto transport device and we shimmered away. We arrived back home and you protested. You wanted to stay. Honey, we already saw her naked and laid hands on her. We have to give them some privacy. T'lana She was going to have the most wonderful act. Having a baby.

Well give it a few months and you are going to find out all about it. Are you still hungry? T'lana said, I would love to have French fries and a shake I said, Let me guess. A chocolate shake. T'lana Giggles yes baby, sounds Ok lets get two. I'm hungry tonight too. But then you and I need to get some sleep. Kira will be here tomorrow.

**The Lost Trill (Adversity) Chap Seventeen / Segment Two.**  
(A coming Storm)

The next day came early. It was dark and gray. A storm was coming from off shore. The wind carried the scent of water everywhere. I was awoken by the chirping of my communicator. I slipped out of bed and put on some clothes and went into the office. It was Jar'don. he was at the spaceport. He said, Just recieved delivery of Kira.  
Jan'el had to fly back with the shuttle. She is still sedated. You might need Jullian on this one. She tried to hurt herself. Please bring her here and put her in the guestroom. Thank You Jar'don out  
I clicked on the Communicator again. Jar'an to Doctor Bashier. Kira has arrived. The situation is more serious than I expected. I will need your help. Please come as soon as possible.T'Lana just woke up and walked in.

She closed her robe as her father and a security guard were carrying Kira inside in a rescue gurney. She had on restraints and that disturbed T'Lana. She started to protest. I hugged her and told her Kira tried to hurt herself. T'Lana whirled around and was crying on my chest. So Much. I guess she could only take so much. It was the third try. It took but she was poisoned with katamine just like the others. Just as Jar'don and his assistant were leaving Jullian shimmered in. We don't have much time Jullian. T'Lana, I am going to need your help. Anything she said. Go lock the back door and come back in here naked.

The site of you is what I need to stimulate me. Then you can get the fluid sample in this container and give it to Jullian. We have all seen each other naked before so this should not be a problem. I taught Kira how to do the link many years ago. I will use the link and stimulate a memory of her having a sexual encounter. She will think she was dreaming, but her body will react as if it was actually happening to her. T'Lana, Its the best I can do and still preserve my fidelity to you. My body is and always will be yours, but we have to work fast while she is sedated. In her present frame of mind there is no chance of this working if she wakes. Jullian don't watch just concentrate and insert the fluids when I say.  
Jullian went straight into doctor mode, then to work scanning her making sure she was clean of any toxins. He said ready. T'Lana came back in the room naked staring only at me. She took the container from my hand and did what she had to. The sample was large and still warm when she handed it to the doctor. Then I linked with Kira and stimulated her mind. Soon her body was reacting and at the right time I told Jullian do it...now.. T'Lana cleaned me up and put her robe back on. We elevated Kira so the sample would stay in place.  
I eased myself out of the link and went into the other room with T'Lana. Jullian please stay here. I need some alone time with my wife.

Ezri comes out and says I need to act fast before it will hurt the babies and T'Lana. Are you ready to help our friend? We walk back in..Yes I said, lets do this now. Jullian uncover Kira's belly and step back. Say nothing. And do nothing. Ezri its time..Ezri walks over and places her hands on Kira. Her hands glowed with a blue light and Ezri says she is now with child. Erzi fades and T'lana passes out from being over tired.  
Jullian and I carry T'Lana back to bed so she can rest. I saw his look. I knew he had questions. So I motioned him to follow me to the sat down with a couple cups of coffee. For a long moment we both just stared into our coffees. I kind of knew what he was going to ask, so I started first. Jullian, what I am about to tell you about, you can tell no one. He said understood. We Trills possess a special ability. When you and Polly make love she uses the link to enhance the experience right? He said, Yes. Well others and I have the ability to use the mind link far deeper than any know. It's like wareing another person as a second skin. I cant control them.  
Only experience what they experience Ezri just came and used her powers to take what we did and make a baby. If you scan her, she will be pregnant. It is a dangerous thing for the host, so Ezri may not be able to come back. Trill spirits consume tremendous amounts of energy to manifest themselves. At times they must feed off the hosts body. Their life force. That is why T'Lana is sleeping.

Ezri fixed both you and Polly at the wedding. It was her idea. She loved you so much she wanted you to have a chance at the child she wanted to give you herself. Jullian started to cry. That's what we argued about, the last time I saw , I reached across the table and hold his hand. Last night Ezri had to heal a baby at the hospital. She flowed through me to do it. In an instant, A lifetime of memories flowed through me. I saw and felt you two together making love. She told me she was going to come back to you and marry you when the crash happened. By then we were both crying in our coffee. And now, the hard part. She wanted me to help Kira because she loved her too.

She was confused by all the emotions and needed time to sort them out. Her and Kira had an experience together before she met you.  
She chose you in the end and was coming back to set things right with the both of you. I squeezed his hand tight. Ezri loved you so much. She carries that love forever as a spirit. With your permission, If we have a girl, I would like to name her Ezri, in her honor. And I would like for you and Polly to be her God Parents. It was more than he could take. Jullian broke down and sobbed like a baby. I just held and rocked him as he let out his grief. As he started to calm back down. I held him tight and said remember all this is just between us. No one else can know not even Polly. At least not yet.I went in and checked on T'Lana.  
She was still sleeping. I heard Kira stirring. I used the mind link and told Jullian to come Kira was waking. Kira saw me and said hi. Why am I tied up and naked. Smiling wickedly I said, Well, I just couldn't stand it any more so I spirited you away from DS9 tied you up and ravaged you for days and days on end. Ha-Ha-Ha, we did that already remember? Untying your hands. You have had a real bad time. But T'Lana, Jullian, Ezri and I fixed what hurt your heart and shattered your soul. Pulling out my medical scanner, I scanned you. See their three weeks pregnant. Kira's eyes went wide. She knew from the smell what was done. But she didn't care. Kira jumped up off the bed standing there completely naked and wrapped her arms around me and gave me the biggest most passionate kiss she ever gave me.

I pulled away. Kira? All dreamy eyed she said yes? You are dripping down your leg and you need a shower. Snapping back to reality, Oh yes of course you are right. She was looking around. I pointed Its over there. I will have somebody bring you some clothes. Grinning wickedly, I think I still remember the size.T'lana, Waking up, calls for me again Jar'an, Where are you? Coming honey Grinning wickedly, Kira said yes, you sure did. Pinching her butt she jumped. You go get cleaned up I will be back later.

T'lana now upset, Jar'an where are you? I cant see or move, crying JAR'AN. Jullian gave me a look. Yes, I know. I love my wife. Kira and I had a very torrid white-hot affair that burned out almost as fast as it started. So yes, we do have history. She is Odos. Jullian said That's not it. You might want to change your got a little on you. I said, Gods, why now. Coming Honey just stay there.I take off my pants and run into the bedroom. I'm here honey Hugging you. Ezri used allot of energy to fix Kira. You will be back to normal soon. I have already checked on Jar'el.

I had an accident and messed up my pants so I am just going over to get on another pair. Kira is awake now and feels much better She jumped up and hugged me and got some of that fluid sample on my pants. She is taking a shower Jullian is watching over her. I plop down in the bed. What a morning! What was that you said about a normal life? T'lana said, I guess we will never have a normal life baby. Mmmmm Jar'an baby, are you here? Yes, right here honey.  
The children are they all right? Helping Kira took too much out of me. I know honey. I love you. There was a knock on the door.

Honey its Kira. And she is dressed and smells better now. T'lana Covers up and gets comfy, ok let her in. Kira peaks in. Hey how are you? Jar'an told me what you did. You took a big risk. T'lana said, We did what we had to for you dear sister, But Ezri will not be back for along while. I have to rest and for our children. Kira, You are family. Just as soon as I heard. I had to help. Somebody did this to us. You were poisoned by a dose of Ketamine. Many here were poisoned. Minister Telora's baby almost died last night. Ezri healed him. She went into labor soon after. We don't know what happened yet. Admiral Cartright is scanning every body and everything down to the last nut and bolt. His wife was poisoned too. They got to her in time.  
Kira, T'Lana needs to rest and we need to talk. You sleep T'Lana, I will set up some breakfast and coffee and bring you something in about an hour. T'lana asked, Kira please come over here and give me a hug, before you leave. A Hug, Kira said, As she climbed in the bed. She hugged us both so tightly and kissed us. I owe you everything. Both of you. I love you both.

T'lana hugs Kira tight we love you too, I wish I could see you. But gave me time I will be back to normal. Come Kira lets let her sleep. We walked out and I closed the door. And went into the kitchen.  
T'lana said, bye, I will see you later. Love you Kira. We sit down at the table and I hand her some coffee. Sipping it she said thanks just the way I like it. Sipping my coffee as I sat down. Their is a great many things I know you like Kira. Somebody on DS9 and on Trill has tried to commit the most Horrible of murders. Murdering the unborn. It's one of the only few laws that Trill still carries the death penalty.

Hospital security captured a nurse but she swallowed poison before we could question her. I am really worried about you. We may not be together, but I never stopped loving you. Hurting yourself like that really scared me. I saw what happened. I was in your mind while you were out. I brought back a memory of the last time we made love so I could stimulate your body to give us an egg. Then Jullian gave you my fluids. Ezri took the mix and did the rest. The shock of what was done out of love was almost too much for Kira to bare. She started crying the biggest tears. I could not hold back either. I got up and came over and held you so tightly. Whispering, she said I can still feel you inside me. I said and I will always remember what it feels like to be inside you. I just held her and rocked her gently as we both cried.  
T'lana Slowly feels her way around and walks in and asks am I intruding on anything? After a long moment I sat back down. Kira, none of this is your fault. You are not defective in any way. You are beautiful. Inside and out. I turn to help T'Lana. I thought you were going to rest. Here Honey, please sit. I was about to tell Kira what Ezri told me.  
T'lana feels for the chair, my sight is coming back. It's sill a little hard to see. Julian scanned me and checked the children before he went to see his wife. Jules says I am tired but I will be ok.  
I ask,You want a cup of coffee Honey? T'lana responded, Yes please, where is Kira sitting? Kira says right here honey and takes my hand and helps me sit down. I am happy your are still here Sis. Hugs Kira so tight, whispering in Ezri's voice. She say's I love you always have and always will. Ezri leaves and restores my eyesight. Kira said, I love how you two dote over each other. It's so cute. Well I seem to remember Odo doting all over you when he was here. Here honey, your coffee. Oh you can see again. Good.

Kira, last night when we were saving Telora's baby Ezri's spirit went through me. In an instant She shared a life times of memories. She also gave me messages for Jullian and you. Some very personnel messages. T'Lana held Kira's hand. Ezri loved you and Jullian. When she crashed, she had decided to go back and set things straight.  
Now it's up to me. I know how close you two got. About the kissing and the sharing of things like two women do. Kira was shaking . Honey, I said, don't be ashamed of expressing your love ever.

Certainly not here I have seen the love two women share and its beautiful. Nothing to be ashamed of. I never did that before. Only the one time. Odo doesn't know. He can never find out.. T'lana Oh I did not know honey, Looks over at Kira and asks how are you feeling? Kira responds I feel so much better and my new baby is healthy and due in 6 months. Kira asks me how I was feeling? Kira I feel wonderful and stronger now. Continuing my line of conversation, This is murder of the worst kind. Murder of the unborn. One of the few laws that still carries the death penalty here on Trill. Ladies, I know who did this to us. Who is behind it. It's the UFP President. He has hated me since I talked Elondra into leaving him and marring me.  
I am going to catch him up in his own words. I am calling him here to handle direct talks for the new agreements between Earth and Trill. 

Oblivious to my conversation the two girls were off in their own worlds Talking and whispering and giggling. T'lana and Kira both laughed They just realized we are due about the same time.  
I ask, did you two hear me? T'lana said, Were sorry yes we heard you. Sitting back I just laughed. You two are more alike than you know. Both of them said Yes we know. We both know you. I added, And I love you both my ladies. T'lana Smiles, I am so happy and relaxed now. I love my husband and my family. Kira, I also gave you a piece of me. I did so out of love. T'lana stiffens and leans back and closes her eyes. Ezri's voice comes out, I gave to everyone I ever loved and cared for. I love you all.

Back in my office, I finished my coffee. The two ladies are gossiping as if nothing special happened. I can tell T'Lana is just going with it. Kira will always own a piece of my heart. Hopefully now she can at last begin to heal. I am so different now. Caring for my Trill brothers and Sisters, has changed me. Life seems so precious to me now. What I didn't know was how the people would react to what we did to save the babies. In truth I don't know what I will do when I get my hands on the killer.

Message to Admiral Cartright. Congratulations on the birth of your child. It is good to know all is well. Kira though is another matter. All this really tore her apart inside. She is better now, but true healing will take time. Message to Ambassador Jackson, Please convey my sincerest appreciation for the UFP Presidents concern. Trill extends formal invitation for your presence here on Trill for the final Talks concerning our trade Relations. Message to High Minister T'Pau, Please respond to my message. Enough time has passed. We have had hard times all around and request your permission to speak with you at your earliest convince. Ambassador T'Lana. Hi honey, Where is Kira? Is somebody watching her? T'lana chimes into our mind link, Yes, she is laying next to me in bed, Kira is fine and sleeping. Good. Her mind is going to need the rest. And you should too. We all took an awful dangerous risk to do what we did to Telora and Kira. We can't expect Ezri to be able to do anything till after the children are born.

T'lana Gets up from the chair and waddles back over to our bed and gets in, The nurse is with Kira and we need our rest baby.  
How is Polly doing? Last time I saw her she looked like she swallowed a basketball. T'lana I checked in on her too. She is doing well and asleep too, Honey we are all going to be all right, I love you.  
Looking at my watch.. Oh shit. I have to go to the counsel chambers. I sneak in and kiss you good bye. I will be back as soon as I can. I hit my auto transport and beamed away. What greeted me at the counsel chambers really shook me up. I walked in to take my place and all went quiet and bowed. I heard my foot falls on the stone floor and took my seat. Calling the meeting to order. I called for the first case of the . Telora stepped forward to the podium. High Minister I need to speak. And then he bowed down on one knee. I came down off the raised podium. And said rise and greet me in love as an equal. Your heart is heavy? With big tears in his eyes he raised his hands to embrace me. I did so with genuine love and compassion. Please my brother, speak your mind. I stepped back to hear his words.

High Minister all of Trill is in your debt. Thousands of unborn were at risk and you saved them. You truly are a leader of love. You despite being high minister threw off your rank and status to come to the aid of my wife and myself and almost died in doing so. In honor of you, and this completely unselfish act of love. My wife and I ask for the honor of naming our first born baby boy Leo Jar'an Telora. Both of us were crying as we embraced yet again. The crowd erupted in applause and cheers. All the ministers were on their feet cheering me. I looked around I was wiping my eyes, as the crowds cheers died down. The people were listening. The camera's rolling so I took a moment to swallow hard and compose myself.

I have never been so greatly honored. Thank you. He asked me why I did what I did that night. I did it because I love all my people. You all made this possible. When I came here the very concept of love was foreign to me. You people. You and my lovely wife taught me the power of love. You taught me that as a leader I am called to love.  
Well, Love, as we know it, is not love till we give it away. For without love we are all just pieces of meat walking around, not yet realizing that we are dead already. I was dead inside and you healed me. Should I do any less? Mr Telora, Please convey my warmest congratulations on the birth of your child and I would be honored to Lind my name to him.

The crowd erupted as we embraced and he left. Now can we call this meeting to order? Thank You. The day's trials came and went quickly. All seemed in a much better mood.

The crowd didn't even whimper when T'Rel came into the room and handed me the pad. Reading the pad I addressed the cameras. To the man who came here last week. Ambassador T'Rel has found who you were looking for. With special permission of the Vulcan High Commander herself T'Pau has authorized her return as an act of peace and love to the people of Trill. So if you are hearing my voice, be here next week for she will be arriving then. The crowd erupted in applause again for both T'Rel and me. To his credit he bowed to the people and left the counsel chambers.

Holding up the pad. People, I still do not trust the Vulcan's, but this is an excellent beginning. Now lets get back to today's business.  
Looking around at the other ministers, Oh is that it? Snickering, Minister Telora usually did all this court stuff, but she is busy being a mommy, so this meeting is adjourned and lets go home folks. The crowd laughed and started to file out.

Arriving back home T'Lana handed me a medical pad. Take a look at what this pad and what it says about mine and Kira's babies. Our children are growing at a normal rate and Kira little baby is now 1 month into the pregnancies. We are doing very well.  
This is good to know my love. But my concern is what is in her mind. Kira is a very headstrong person. But something fractured her personality. She needs to be watched. Her hormones are way out of balance. T'lana said, Don't you worry, I and my old friend Kira we will spend the day together, plus we have a nurse here too. Everything will be ok.  
I walk in my office and turned on my Communicator to send some messages. Message to Admiral Cartright at DS9, from High Minister Jar'an Tigan. Kira's toxin contaminated state eliminated. Pregnancy restored. Request access to Kira's private medical files. Please copy database and transmit to Dr. Jullian Bashier, Trill Capital City Hospital. Her body is repaired. Her mind is another matter. Psychological profile consistent with that of a rape victim.  
T'Lana chimed in our shared link. I read what you wrote. God's please tell me it's not true.

ask, You still with her? Yes were walking on the beach. She feels at peace here for some reason. But we just got back home now. Who ever knocked her out and injected the baby with Ketamine could have done anything to her. There is a dark spot she is using nearly all her strength to hide it from me.

I hear laughter coming from the bedroom, I find T'Lana and Kira lying on the bed, with popcorn and sodas. Laughing their butts off.  
Message to Jar'don, Please gather supplies and install Video cameras and proximity Microphones to cover a span of 1/2 mile north and south of boardwalk entrance to beach. Bury and hide all equipment from site. Install shielding to prevent detection. I am going to hang a very big rat with his own words. I chime back into T'Lana, Good. She needs to laugh. After tonight she will need to laugh. The night was cloudless. The stars shining and twinkling brightly. Kira T'Lana and me are sharing some alone time. We laughed and talked. Some of the sparkle has come back in her eyes. Now, I have to shake her well being. Kira, when I was in your mind, helping you, I saw you argue with the Federation Doctor. I felt genuine fear. And now what was done to you took the use of another drug. It's called, Rohipnall.

It's a neural paralyzer. Honey, you still had traces in your brain when you came here. Kira got real quiet. T'Lana held her hand. I know about the memory you are hiding. Kira started to shake. T'Lana got up and hugged her are a strong woman. Used to having authority over others. Giving orders and having them carried out. Linking with Kira, I can see the dark spot. There is nothing to be ashamed of. He took advantage of you. He murdered your baby and raped you didn't he? Kira scrambled to her feet and fell down scrambling away to the steps and curling up in a tight little ball.  
Shaking, saying Go away. Begging Please, Please go away. T'Lana was furious at me. How dare you she hissed. I didn't break my link. She is facing the memory. Its hold on her is almost gone. Now, I have to extract it. Pull it all out. Kira screamed.. Shaking... Crying... She reached up to me.

I grabbed her hand. Hold on Kira, Hold on.. She screamed again and I pulled her to her feet and held her tight. She clung to me sobbing. He did it. The bastard did it.. Oh God why, she hollered. I held her in my arms. I swear to you. I will avenge this. We love you. It was never your fault. You trusted. He did this and I will make him pay. I signaled the nurse and she gave Kira a hypo sedative. I scooped her up. T'Lana followed as I placed her in our bed to rest. T'Lana I know I promised not to kill that bastard. Do you still want to hold me to that promise? T'Lana was holding Kira. Rubbing her head as she slept. She looked up at me with fire in her eyes. She hissed Hell No.

Hunt him down and end this. I said will do..I ran into the office and sent coded priority one signal to DS9. Admiral Cartright came on. I hissed, Arrest the doctor now. The bastard murdered Kira's baby and raped her. Used Rohipnal to paralyze her. Oh and Admiral, Make him scream. Admiral said, with pleasure. He terminated transmitting and went to arrest the doctor himself. T'lana being ever the protective mommy, was hugging and rocking Kira in her arms,.You could have harmed the baby doing that, Jar'an. Meanwhile back at DS9..The admiral stomped out of his office and a security detail followed in step behind him.

Everybody saw the look in his eyes and scrambled to get out of his way. He went to the medical center and faced the doctor. He asked why? The doctor knew he was found out. All he said was Orders. Admiral Cartright hit him so hard he flew backwards, half way across the medical bay. He turned to his detail and said bring him. They scraped him up off the deck and dragged him away. Back on Trill.. I told T'Lana The baby is unharmed. Her mind is another matter. I did what I have to do. She showed me. Her mind recorded the event and tried to block it out.

T'lana said, Damn, still we worked to hard to bring her back the baby she lost. I countered, And now, with her mind right she will be able to raise that child. T'lana asked, who did this to her? I said, The very doctor she trusted to get her pregnant in the first place. Admiral Cartright is probably bouncing him off the cell walls by now. T'lana said, I hope so sweet heart. Kira needs peace and move on with her life. I told her, She will be shaky for a while. She will need the love of her friends and her husband. As a citizen of Bajor, we will have to notify them. But I will leave that up to Cartright. Soon the Federation president will be here and I will end this.

I started to walk away, then I Frose mid stride. I heard something very faint, Jar'an can you hear me? Its Ezri, check Kira baby and T'lana. Sense something wrong. and fades  
I grabbed a medical scanner and checked Kira's baby. T'Lana come with me. I scooped up Kira and hit my auto transport. We stepped off the transported pad with Kira in my arms and alarms started going off. Doctors came running I placed Kira on the gurney. The baby is in distress. I hold on to T'Lana as she wanted to go inside. She hissed at me, jerked loose and went in anyway.  
T'lana Stands back against the wall holding her belly and praying the baby will be all right. Minutes later the doctor comes over and says it good thing you got her here fast. The little baby and mother will be just fine. The doctor looks at me and says your turn little mommy, lets take a look at you. I said, Go ahead T'lana all this excitement could have affected you. It's good to get checked out. Doctor what is wrong with Kira? The doctor was cross with Jar'an and T'lana, You too need to rest or you Tlana will be placed on bed rest for the next 2 months. I ask again, Please doctor is Kira all right? The Doctor looked at Kira, Kira has been going through to much stress and it affected the baby too, So for the next 3 months she is to be on bed rest. Only allowed to get up, shower and relax.

I explained to the doctor, Doctor, she was attacked. Her mind blocked it out. She just came to terms with it. Did it hurt her?  
The doctor checked her scanns, No. Kira is a strong woman and in 6 months her child will be born, She and T'lana are not to leave home until the baby is born. Now your turn let me see how your blood pressure is. Ok Doctor, I'm sure its a little high having to carry Kira and all. The doctor was real cross with me. What do I have to lock everyone down to keep you healthy? Doctor, I have a duty. He interrupted me. You sir have a duty to stay strong and healthy for your family. Ok doctor. You're right as usual. I promise to take it easy. Did we loose any more babies to the Ketamine contamination?  
The Doctor said, No, thank god you got to everyone in time.

Breathing a sigh of releif. Ok Thanks Doctor. Now I can relax. Can I take Kira home? Doctor said, yes and make sure that both mommies take it very easy. The doctor gives me a blood pressure shot. You may look young on the outside but your insides are wrecked. Scars everywhere. Broken bones everywhere. Skin burn's, Skin Grafts. You have to take care of yourself. We need you High Minister. Please take it easy. I will. Doctor. I will return the gurney tomorrow. I hit my auto transport and we all shimmered away. Back at home, T'lana said, Well hell, I can't go nowhere for 2 months. I am going to go stir crazy. Not really, I said, You have Kira and me to play with. T'lana said, Bed rest yea right, Kira and I will have each other for company. Baby, promise me you will slow down and take it easy. I need to check in on Jar'el.

T'Lana was walking through the house. All was quiet. T'Lana closed and locked the doors, checked on Jar'el and walked back in the bedroom. She found her husband lying on top of the bed asleep.

She woke me up and took my clothes off and we both slipped into the bed and T'Lana snuggled up to Kira and went to sleep. The next morning as I woke, I noticed Kira was gone. I got up and slipped on some pants and shirt to go look for her. I found her in the kitchen sitting as before at the table all dreamy eyed, sipping on coffee. I yawned and stretched and said hello. As I reached for the coffee she got up and hugged me tight. Thank you for everything. I just couldn't process what happened to me. Not since the Cardassian occupation, have I seen such evil. And not since I came here have I known such love. I held her tight and kissed her forehead. Whispering in her hair so only she would hear.

Here my Bajorian Queen you will always be loved. Now please sit down. The doctor has you on bed rest so you can't stay up for very long. Oh by the way, I got a recorded message from Admiral Cartright. He say's to take your time getting well. The Bajorian High Counsel has been informed of your situation and approved your leave for as long as you need. Seems the poor Admiral had an accident last night. He hurt both his hands questioning the doctor. He said he made a full confession. That rat bastard will be eating and drinking through a straw for a very long time. His confession along with what I get out of UFP Jacobs will seal his doom. I'm so sorry I had to hurt you last night, but I had to see.

And more importantly, you had to see it. You feel better? I feel safe when you hold me. Backing away, Oh wow that didn't sound right. I helped her back to the chair. I would gladly hold you for as long as you need. But you have Odo for that now. T'Lana said you felt more at peace when you were walking on the beach yesterday.  
You were remembering when we first met. I'm glad you remember. I can never forget it, she said. You changed me.. Walks into the kitchen and wonders what is going on, Kira was not in bed. Gets dressed and wonders into the kitchen, Hi guys. Kira your supposed to be resting. Hugs and kisses my husband walks over on hugs Kira. Kira how are you feeling today?

Kira said much better thanks to you two. I said, you both are supposed to be on bed rest, Handing T'Lana her coffee, and sipping on my own. Please girls sit down. You're getting to heavy to scoop up and carry to the doctor told me to take it easy too so how about veging out in bed for the rest of the day. Kira, Odo must be told. How do you want me to handle it?

I can send the Admiral if you trust him. T'lana Smiles, I am hungry. Kira do you know what I like to eat? Cheese burgers and fries and milk shakes. Kira sidestepped my question. She said, I would like that too. I said for breakfast? We both looked at you and said Hell Yes. Both giggles. I throw my hands up. I give up. Cheese burgers it is. Walking over to the replicator I chuckled, Cravings.. Aww what the hell I'll have one two. The girls started giggling. I set the food up on the kitchen table. The girls started munching and giggling before I could sit down and get started. Slow down Girls. Enjoy the food. I chuckled, It's so good to have you here Kira.

T'lana said to Kira, I do think we have created a monster, laughs.  
Noticing Kira drip Cheese and Ketchup, Chuckling, I said yea, a messy monster. T'lana Laughs, Rubs her belly, its going to be hard soon, will not be able to walk. I will be waddling. Laughing, I said, Looks like I will need to take the both of you in the shower and hose you both off. Kira asks, when will my husband be home? I said, He will be back at DS9 in about a week. Of course you and him will stay here till the child is born. Kira, I can't believe what you both have done for me. I will never forget. I said, We love you. Whatever you need just ask..

Kira spoke up, my own room and bed, I think and know I will be ok now. Pointing down the hall, we have the guestroom you broke in last time. It's just down the hall. After Odo gets here we will set you both up in the guesthouse. T'lana and Kira smiles, and giggles at me. What? Omg I have cheese all over my chin. Laughing, I had to admit. Now I need a shower. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. We all laughed. After we finished eating, we all felt like we ate 20 pounds of food, but it sure felt good. I give Kira some towels so she can use the guest bathroom.T'Lana and I went into our own and she layed out on the shower lounge.

I had some fun soaping her up and playing a little as I washed you off. I washed off and shut the water off. I heard the guest shower running and thought nothing of it. I went and brought you a towel and we dried off. The shower kept running. I stretched out with my mind link.  
My eyes went wide. T'Lana come with me. I knocked on the bedroom. Their was no answer. I open the door to go in. Cautiously, I knock on the bathroom dooragain. Kira you ok? She didn't answer. I went in and found Kira all balled up on the shower floor, just rocking and shaking. I turned off the shower.  
T'Lana grabbed her towel and gave it to me. I dried her off and wrapped her up in it. Kira wasn't talking but she clunged to me fiercely. I sat on the guest shower chair holding and rocking Kira. T'Lana said nothing. Just towel dried her hair. I chimed in my mind link with T'Lana. Still choking back emotion, she is just like Polly was. She is all broken inside. This will take a lot of time and a lot of love to overcome. T'lana Covers Kira with a very warm robe and tries to hug them both rocking with them and holding tight. I said T'Lana lets put her to bed. I pick her up and carry her back to our bedroom. T'Lana climbed in the bed and pulled the sheets back. Gently, I layed her down in the bed. Kira didn't want to let go. T'Lana used her mind link to break her concentration and focus on her.

Kira hugged T'Lana tightly. Just shaking. I covered them both and put some clothes on. T'Lana just rocked her. Letting her cry out her grief. Kira stirred and woke up still wrapped in the large bath towel. Instantly she realized she was not in the guest room. For a second she didn't know where she was. Then I walked around the bed and said hi. She smiled and said Hi. What happened? You went into the shower and collapsed into a tight little ball and was shaking like a leaf. Do you know who I am? Kira snarled at me, Of course I know who you are. Ah snarling, That's a good sign. Have you ever had any seizures? Not since I was a kid why? I think this entire trauma may have triggered one. Can I link with you? I can tell if the meds you received have altered your brain chemistry.

T'Lana just came out of the bathroom and climbed back in the bed. Kira said, I could link with you now. Oh, I said, This might be interesting. I pulled a chair over and sat down. T'Lana started to protest I raised my hand and said no. Let her try. It will strengthen her mind. I felt her reaching out. Weakly at first but she got stronger. She felt my warmth. Felt my love. Then she saw something. Something I've kept hidden for a very long time. Her eyes went wide gasping she pulled back out. You have a dark spot. A very old one.. T'Lana and Kira were both scared.

I buried my face in my hands and said out loud I swore I'd never go back to that memory ever again. All this has dug it back up. I started to shake and cry. T'Lana was at my side instantly rubbing my back trying to comfort me. Kira was transfixed.  
She asked what happened? I got up and ran to the bathroom and threw up. After cleaning up and washing my face, I could see, from the looks on their faces they were both very worried. They always thought of me as the strong one taking care of them. I sat down. After a long moment of me just staring at the floor, I began. I'm 54 now. 47 years ago, a man came. He touched me. He did things to me, made me do things. After he was through with me he just walked away laughing at me. I never understood why. Kira and T'Lana were both in tears and shaking from the shock of what was being revealed to them. I never said anything. I felt so guilty. So ashamed.  
9 years later a neighborhood boy tried to.. do things with me. I went from being afraid of my own home to being afraid of my own neighborhood. After a while he disappeared. Later I found out he killed himself. I never had anybody I could trust to talk to. School was a lesson in bulling and torture. I was called so many foul names like Queer, Fagot, Retard and so many others, that no girl would ever date me.

I spent my entire 4 years in high school alone. My first time with a girl didn't happen till I was 22. I spent my 21st birthday hunting down the bastard that molested me and I found him with a little Adorian orphan. I saw those eyes. He was so scared so hurt and ashamed. He ran away. I beat that man to death and went looking for the boy. I found him in a nearby orphanage. He had killed himself. The authorities investigated the entire case. They found out that man had been feeding off the orphans and had violated as many as 12 others that they know of. They said I acted in defense of a minor child and released me. I hoped aboard the next available ship and left earth and never returned. I have been in space since I was 22 years old.  
That Vulcan woman T'Lin. When I found her she was being chased. She was so dirty and shaking and I later found out was entering her Pon Far Event. I helped her, and she became my teacher. She showed me things and helped me too. She melded with me and taught me how to file the memory away.

So now you know. Why you, T'Lana, Polly, and you Kira mean so much to me. That's why this sickens me. Because it happened to me and I felt so helpless..I ah... I swallowed hard. I just shook my head and couldn't speak. Just sat there shaking and crying. T'lana Came to me and hugs and kisses me, feel your children inside me. Feel the love your son and daughters have for you. Feel the love that we all have for you. You are never going to be alone again. Both girls pulled me into the bed and hugged me and comforted me. We all cried.

And just held each other for a long time. I said, T'Lana, Kira, all this. Can't tell anybody.. Not even Odo. T'Lana you saved me and showed not only what love is but how to love again. I love my family and Kira, you will always be family to me. I would like to say it gets better. It's always there. Burned into the back of your brain. You do get stronger and one day you will be able to file it away in your mind and go on with your life. Kira, you have a beautiful baby on the way, and a wonderful husband to care for you two. We may live separate but we will always be a part of each other. T'lana Sits down and relaxes holding her husband and kissing him, Kira we always be family and friends. I love you all Jar'el links in me love mommy and daddy.  
For the first time today, I smiled. Chiming in my mind link. Jar'el, you always seem to know what to say. Thanks son. I love you too.

Wiping my tears, I say, Why don't we have soda and popcorn and go soak in the pool? T'lana Smiles ,mmmm babies are kicking. Giggles, son your sisters are wanting to come out and play with you.  
Jar'el says EWWWWWWWW...Girls! Kira can hear now and we all laughed. I walked back in with two robes. Here are a couple of robes. You two get naked and go ahead and enjoy the water. It has already been checked and the whole island has been cleared of any Ketamine contamination. I will bring the popcorn and drinks.  
Jar'el chimes in, Daddy mommy Kira, me go too. I will leave that up to your mother son. T'lana chimed in to Jar'el No baby when you are older and able to swim you can go into the pool with your sisters and the rest of the family.  
I added, But only when we are with you. Never alone understand?  
I have to go send off a message and I will be right back. Stepping in my office I typed up a text message. To Admiral Cartright. Odo is expected to arrive at DS9 day after tomorrow. Since Kira is a Bajorian citizen, Please transfer prisoner to Bajorian authorities on planet. Odo would kill him if he is still on station. T'lana relents and changes her mind. Goes in and picks up Jar'el and takes him out to the pool and puts him on a baby floater. Holds him close so he doesn't fall off.  
After bringing all the snacks and drinks I pealed out of my clothes in front of both the girls. T'Lana was whistling at me saying take it off take it all off. Kira was cackling with laughter and giving me the hungry eye stare. Grinning I did a strip tease and then walked into the pool and slid on the pool chair between my two girls.  
Jar'el chimes in, daddy being silly mommy. Laughing, yes son I know and I love you all so much. Relaxing I heard Polly. She got an eye full of my strip tease and asked if she could join us. Jullian will be around later. He is still at work. I whistled at her as she was taking her clothes off and she did a strip tease. Kira only saw her bulging belly. Wow you're really big. Polly says hello everyone, Coming in with her big baby belly showing. T'Lana said, My god sis you look like any day now. Polly says i am due in the next couple weeks, I cant wait to have my baby come into this world. Laughing, I'll bet Jullian is a nervous wreck..

Polly said, we both are very nervous,we can't wait to have our son in our life's. Polly looks at T'lana and Kira. Wow you guys are starting to get big like me. T'Lana honey, we will need to hire another nanny for Polly. T'lana said, I agree sweetie. We are going to hire at least 4 nannies to help us. We better call the service where we got ours and let them know. Laughing, I said, I just don't see Polly changing diapers all day. She will be puking her guts out. T'lana Giggeling, Calls for the nanny to come and get Jar'el ,am afraid he has gone to sleep. I said, Our family is going to get real big real soon.

We all just sit back and enjoy the day. I gave Polly my chair and snuggled up with T'Lana rubbing her belly and other places. Kissing her passionately. Polly teasingly said you two going for triplets? T'lana said, NO Triplets, My body would not be able to have another baby in here. Its all ready crowed. Rubbing her belly I whispered to the babies, Don't worry girls we will make more later. T'lana Just smiles and giggles. Hey Polly, Have you and Jullian thought of a name for the baby yet? Polly said, Yes we did. We are going to call him De'van Jules Bashier.

**The Lost Trill (Adversity) Chap Seventeen / Segment Three.**  
(Family Blessings)

T'lana Was sitting by the window, looking out into the ocean waves and drinking coffee. It is so beautiful out there this morning. Kira is sitting next to me and is at peace. I chime in my mind link to T'Lana, Sending T'Rel to see if he can help. Suspect rape took place in her shower At DS9. That's why she reacted and had a seizure. Had nurse adjust her med. probably why she is more peaceful now. Odo traveling at high warp from DS9. Should arrive soon. Admiral Cartright may be with him.  
Her mind is focused on a memory tied to the ocean. It was the first time I used the link on her. It's like a child learning to swim, being afraid to swim and holding on to the edge of the pool. I will be home as soon as I can. I don't know how she will react when she sees Odo.  
Message to Bajor High Counsel. From High Minister Jar'an of Trill. Your officer Kira of DS9 was viciously attacked and raped by a Federation officer. Redeployment back to DS9 not possible. Request new orders transferring Commander Kira to Trill as Bajoran Ambassador. Also request open trade talks as Trade with Federation in jeopardy due to recent events. End  
T'Lana smiles, I feel funny. Giggles I get nervous. Are you going into labor? T'Lana said, Don't think so. Not time. mmmm you feel so good. Ouch someone is kicking. Rubbing your belly, I said, Easy little one It's not time yet.  
T'lana said, mmmmm baby they both are kicking laughs. They are linking into our minds. Sorry mommy daddy giggles, giggles  
Hello Ezri and Yanas. You need to calm down. Mommy is counting on you. Mommy tell them, Yes please, mommy and daddy are having alone time The girls feel you. Daddy warm. Make mommy warm.  
We both giggle we want play. The girls say, We come see brother.  
Jar'el chimes in EEWWWWWW Girls. I just laughed.. T"lana was laughing. I ease myself out. Ezri says daddy don't go. Laughing harder, I said, That's our daughter. We were both laughing hard.  
I chimed in to the girls, Just like your mother aren't you Ezri.  
Giggling, she said, yes daddy. I lay my head on your belly. Don't worry girls. I'm right here.

Humming low, vibrating your belly. Mmmmmmm The girls say, We like daddy humming Daddy rubs belly to calm them. I tell them, Girls go back to sleep. Kissing your belly. Daddy loves you...HHHMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm. The girls chime in, Boys ewwwwww giggles. Now Girls.. Be nice..You can mess with his head later. They start giggling. I tell them, Now girls you will be here soon.  
My communicator chirped. As I reached for the damned thing I said you know one day I'm going to throw this thing in the ocean.  
T'Lana laughs. Opening it up. Oh two messages. I accessed the first message, Holy shit, Polly is in the hospital in labor! And Odo has arrived. T'Lana said, damn. Omg baby ouch girls stop. I ask, Where is Kira? The girls chime in, Not us mommy. I chime in, what? Tlans said, OUCH!, sharp pain like before.

I look around, Where is Kira? Are you feeling her? I grab my medical scanner. I looked for Kira in the bathroom. I call out loud, Kira where are you? She answered, On the Patio. Good Kira. Please stay there. I go back to T'Lana, Are you feeling Polly? T'Lana said, mmmmm not sure. The girls say, Daddy it not us. Girls link up with mommy double her power. T'Lana stretch out and tell me where. T'Lana, Screams Polly her baby is coming. Delink from her..Now! Her pain will drive you into early labor. I know she is scared. This is her next step. Love her enough to let her go. She screams girls help mommy. Reach out with my mind, Focus on me! Focus on my link.

T'Lana, Screams looking at you. Mmmmmmm It's stopping, baby help me. I push deeper into her mind, Feel me...Feel my warmth... Feel my strength... Feel my love... mmmmm, holding you tight. Polly is fading  
Mmmm, Better now. Good I said the down side of our link. We feel everything. T'Lana said, yes. Omg, that was intense. At first I thought it was I. Well, next week it's your turn. Still want to try to do this natural? Or do you want a c-section. T'Lana said, Natural unless doc says different. The drugs will not affect the babies honey. I almost lost you last time. T'Lana asked, What do you think? I said, I really think c-section is the safest way.

T'Lana said, Ok baby, if you think its best. You stay here I am going out on the patio and talk to Kira. T'Lana said, ok baby. I will be right back. Here I will leave the doors open so you can hear. She said, mmmmm, ok baby. Walking out on the patio. Hi Kira, She said, I was just sitting out here sipping tea and stareing at the stars? What was that entire yelling going on in there. Well T'Lana forgot to delink from Polly and Polly is at the hospital giving birth. So T'Lana got to feel the pain. That's the downside of the link. So when you link with another or me. Please remember to delink from them before you walk away. Well, I have some surprises for you. Some friends have come for a visit. They began to shimmer in. Look here they come. It's Cartright and Odo. The second Kira saw Odo she leaped up and ran to him hugging him tightly. She said, Oh Gods Odo, I missed you. Admiral Cartright walked down to where I was and shook my hand.

T'Lana chimed in, mmmmm, Nice to hear all that she says in a link. The Admiral chimed back. It's good to hear you too. Shocked well maybe we can teach an old dog new tricks. Lets go inside and give them some alone time. T'Lana chimed in with a frightened voice, Honey I need you.

The girls chimed in, Daddy we kicked mommy to hard we sorry.  
My mind exploded, WHAT! The girls chimed back, Daddy mommy need you. I look at the admiral, Oh shit, not again. I run in Are you ok honey? T'Lana said, No, omg, I am in pain, the girls kicked me hard.  
Admiral, please stay here with Kira and Odo. I scooped T'Lana up and hit my auto transport, mmmmm, baby it's not time. We arrived at the hospital and the alarms went off. I don't think we have a choice. I layed you on the gurney. The doctors took us inside the medical bay and gave you a shot.

I held your hand. I said, Doctor the babies are in distress.  
The doctor completed his scans. Distress hell she is in full labor we have to do a c-section now. I said do it doctor. Help her please. The doctor was ready for me. He turned and gave me a shot. I got dizzy and passed out. Cartyright, Kira and Odo snickered and said good move doctor. T'lana moaned, The babies are fine, they have another week. The Doctor saw to it that I was layed out on a gurney. And turned back to T'Lana. Yes the babies are fine but you are not. There is a tare in the birth sack. It's a small one but their right where I have to cut anyway so relax. He gives her a shot. When you wake it will be all over.  
T'Lana said, What do you mean? One of the nurses said, The doctor has to knock you out to cut out the babies. T'Lana said, No not time. I struggled to tell her. The drugs are strong. Getting real fuzzy.  
I said, early yes but not too early you are bleeding into the birth sack. If the babies start kicking again you could die. T'Lana screamed, NO PLEASE ITS NOT TIME. Omg starts to cry and scream. The doctor gave you another shot. T'lana starts to fight and push people away from me. Kira is by your side holding your hand saying, It's all right honey. T'lana was in full panic. NOOOOOOOOOOOO. MY BABIES NOT AGAIN PLEASE NOOOO. I struggle to speak, slurring words, The more you struggle the more they kick, the more you bleed.  
She screamed, JAR'AN PLEASE. IT'S NOT TIME SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE.

I push back the overcoming effects of the sedative and scramble to my feet . I reach out. T'Lana.. I am here stop panicing. The girls are fine. Please feel my love. Getting tired. STOP FIGHTING!  
The next sound I heard was a baby crying. Oh wow she is beautiful honey. The Doctor said, Jar'an, T'lana is asleep now and one of your girls is here. Then a small slap and the other baby started crying.

Oh wow they both already have they're spots. Doctor tells you the children are very healthy. I started loosing my balance. Cartright caught me and picked me up and put me back on the gurney. The doctor added, But T'lana can not have any more children This really has taken to much out of her little body. I am sorry. I grabbed her hand. Hold on honey the doctor is almost finished. The Doctor said, you guys were blessed, but sorry to say that this is going to be hard. You have 3 wonderful children. My mind is so fuzzy. Kira is laughing. Odo is amazed. Through the drug induced haze I struggle to say what? Doctor tells you that T'lana is in a coma and will be ok. We had to put her in a coma to calm her down.

Drunk with drugs, I ask, You mean I have three babies?  
The doctor laughes. No son. Just your son and 2 daughters. Is T'Lana going to be fine? The doctor says, she will be, wait, her monitor alarm goes off. Get everyone out of here and take care of the girls. T'lana is in distress. Omg, her symbiot is in trouble. It is going to be ok we got him. dax has calm down. It was the children and the meds. Don't remove him. Will kill host. It was our fault we forgot about the dax symbent. My world went black The last thing I saw was Kira holding one of the babies.

Doctor comes back and shakes me back awake. And tells you that T'lana has come out of her Coma. The doctor gives me another shot to counter act the sedative. It took me a minute to shake the cobwebs out. The nurses rolled our beds together and I held T'Lana's hand. I told her I love you. She is too tired to speak. Uses the link, I love you in a mind link, I am sorry. I link with her and said, And you wanted a normal life. T'lana started crying in my head our children are they ok? OK? They are beautiful. Kira walked up with one. See? She was the first born. Laughing. That would be Ezri..  
Look honey they both have their spots already. T'Lana was fading, she said, yay, I am sorry I fought the doctor. Where is Jar'don? He should know about his daughters. He is a grand daddy now. Kira started laughing. He is in the other medical bay with lilianna. The poor man is in shock. She had her baby too.

Chuckeling, honey, that's a nurse. The doctor is busy making your daddy a daddy again. A really drugged T'Lana said, awwww I can't see what happened. Cant feel my body. It took allot out of you honey. You need rest now. In coherantly, T'lana said, I am afraid. I love jellybeans. Trying to think, Omg did i say that?

I said, Its alright, Just sleep now. Laughing, I said that's ok honey I like those Candy Smarties. T'lana asked, Our daughters. Are they ok? I said, Yes. I heard the doctor say no more children. He doesn't think your body can take it anymore. T'Lana said, We have three. And they are beautiful. My dax, is she ok?Your dax is tired and sleeping just as you should be.

**The Lost Trill (Adversity) Chap Seventeen / Segment Four.**  
(The price of vengeance)

The day had at last arrived. Standing here at home all by myself, looking around at all that was built out of love. My place of peace has suffered so much violence this past year. And now as I see the shuttle of the man I am about to kill, I know that after today, nothing will be the same. I wrote special instructions, just in case I don't survive this. I had to keep T'Lana and the kids safe. I would die for them. But as I see all this beauty around me, and feel the warmth of all the people, I find myself a little unsure of my task. Maybe I can find a way to live for them. Jar'don is manning the recording station.  
Everything is ready. I just pray the Gods will give me strength to do what must be done. Climbing in the ground transport I drive out to the Spaceport. My security detail was ready to receive the dignitary As soon as the shuttle doors open his security detail formed up along side mine.  
I clinched my fist biting back the pain I feel in my chest. I took one of my pain pills and steeled myself to shake his hand. Acting like nothing ever happened I greeted him. President Jacobs. Welcome to Trill and to my private island. I am sure our trade talks won't take up too much of your time. One of his guards came forward and one of mine did as well. We all climbed in the ground transport. Did you receive my gift? Jacobs relaxed a little. Yes Jar'an, thank you for that Avatar thing you had created. I didn't create anything. Do you remember The Metrons? A Captain James T. Kirk came across them on one of his missions.  
They are highly advanced. Well during my profiteering days, I managed to assist them in a few small ways. When Elondra died, I knew they possessed the power to restore her to life. Jacobs said, So that's why you took her body and tore out of earth's orbit like you did. Exactly. I managed to get to them but it was too late. All they could do was extract and copy her memory engrams.  
I asked them to make two. One for me, and one for you. I was on my way back to give this to you, when my aneurysm took over and I went mad. Jacobs said I played it only once. It seemed so real. It is real. That memory stick scans and reads the brain wave patterns of those in the room. Whatever she said to you I will never know.  
Driver stop here please. Jacobs asked why here. I looked longingly at the surf. Just taking in the view. Jacobs asked, Why are you telling me all this? Why the gift? Why now? I said, Let's take a walk.  
What we have to say to each other is not for others ears. Jacobs said, agreed. So we walked down the short boardwalk. Jacobs said Jar'an you have changed and I don't mean just the spots either. We took a walk on the beach. Our guards stayed at the edge of the boardwalk.  
Jacobs, we both have vastly important jobs to do. Well at least you do. I won't anymore very soon. Jacobs asked what are you talking about. I said I want peace between us. We have spent a lifetime hating each other and what has it gotten us? I grimaced in pain and pulled out the bottle of pain pills. My hand shaking, I took one.  
The trap was set and the hook was in. Time to reel this rat bastard in. Jacobs, I am dying. I showed him the pill bottles. He read them. So you have a bad heart?

Yes in a few weeks maybe a month, you will have your final revenge and I will be dead. Looking at the man eye to eye. Can I please have my last days in peace to enjoy my family? I won't cause you any more trouble. Jacobs took a long moment to size me up. Then he blinked.  
Jacobs looked away at the ocean for a moment. He said, I too am tired of all these games. Elondra's avatar told me she wanted adventure. She didn't want to be tied down with children and family. So to whom will I be completing my trade talks with? I said, With me. I am still high minister. This will be my last act in office though.

Minister Telora will be taking over. Can I ask you a question? I know you hate me. And to a point as I look back I have to admit I probably deserved your hatred. But why Kira? She has nothing to do with us. We broke up long ago. Hell man she even took a shot at me as I left. Chuckling Jacobs said yea, I heard about that. Too bad she missed.  
No I didn't give any orders to rape that woman. That sick bastard did that on his own. I just knew it would hurt you if she lost the baby. We start walking back. She did loose that baby. But we were able to restore her pregnancy. You know fighting me is one thing. I never did anything to hurt your family, so please can we stop this? I guess so, he said and handed me back my pills. Jacobs said you have been a worthy adversary but it's time to move on.  
We walked back to our people. And climbed in to the ground transport and went to the conference center. The camera's and press were there and nobody said a word as we took the podium. What Jacobs didn't know was our entire conversation was broadcast to the Federation counsel and all the people of Bajor.  
Before he could react the other ministers and a heavily armed delegation from Bajor walked in. President Jacobs. Under the authority of the interim president I am authorized to place you under arrest. You are charged with Murder, Rape, and the attempted mass murder of over one thousand Trill unborn babies and the attempted assassination of the high minister of Trill.

Kira walked in. Her face was like stone but her eyes were on fire.  
She walked up and hit the minister in the gut so hard he went down. Like flames spitting out her mouth, she hollered. You murdered my unborn baby girl you rat bastard. Then she kicked him in the nuts hard. You're not going to ever need those again. She moved to kick him again. I hugged her to stop her. Kira didn't care who saw. She clunged to me sobbing in raw greif. The Bajoran delegation started to shackle and remove Jacobs. One moment, As high minister I make one request. When you execute him. Do it slowly, I want him to know the agony I feel in this woman right now. Trill will always be a friend to Bajor. Their leader said, And Bajor will always be a friend to Trill.

The leader motioned for Kira to go with them but she refused.  
After a moment the Bajoran delegation took their prisoner and left. The other ministers started to leave as well. I asked for them to stay. And after setting Kira down in a chair, I addressed the people. Wincing with pain. I turned to the cameras. My beloved people of Trill. I must announce that I am stepping down as your high minister. I have named Minister Telora as your new leader.

She will lead you well and with much love. Minister Telora walked up and knelt down. Placing my hands on her head. Do you solemnly swear to execute the office of high minister wisely and to protect the bonds of love the people share with you now? She said I do. As she rose I stumbled a little. My people, I have served and loved each and every one of you. I am humbled by the warmth of your acceptance and love. I had to do this because my heart is giving out and I need surgery to repair it.

My hand is shaking cause quite frankly I am scared. I would appreciate it if you could keep me and my family in your hearts and in your prayers. Everywhere in the room and all of Trill people were shocked scared and crying. I started to collapse and Kira jumped up and grabbed me. Telora came over and said what can I do. I leaned close and kissed her cheek and said, Lead the people. Then I hit my auto transport device and Kira and I shimmered away. Back at the hospital alarms were sounding as we appeared. I barely made it off the platform and collapsed again.

I pulled Kira close and told her I still loved her. And blackness took me. They rush me into surgery. Odo came running and Kira sobbed into his chest. It's his heart. It's bad Odo. It's real bad. He held out long enough to catch the monster that hurt me and killed my baby. Odo said, I know, we all saw it on television. They had to sedate T'Lana and put her in a medical coma. She felt his heart stop.  
Kira sobbed Oh Gods No!... The hours clicked by maddeningly slow. The press people stayed back and very quiet. Many were praying. Outside as far as the eye could see the people had gathered around the hospital. Some stood. Some knelt down. All of them were praying. We even saw visitors praying too.

Millions of people around the world were praying. There was so much love poring out of them that you didn't need the link to feel it.  
All of Trill went silent. You could hear the breeze passing through the trees. Then the doctor walked out. Kira knew that look on his face and began to sob again on Odo's chest. He held her tight as the doctor began to speak. The High Minister of Trill Mr. Jar'an Tigan is in grave condition. The damage to his heart was extensive. On three separate occasions his heart stopped. The last time, The doctor began to cry I couldn't get it back. He came back on his own, but he is very weak. I have done all I can. The rest is up to the Gods now. I'm going to rest now, and pray.

Instantly the media shot the news around the world. People on Earth. People on DS9 and Bajor. People on Trill and a hundred other worlds. Stopped what they were doing and prayed for a man they hardly knew. Kira went in to see him. He seemed so frail and small in that big bed. Across the hall T'Lana layed motionless. Kira went in to check on her. She stood over T'Lana and said, Ezri, if you can hear me. I thank you for what you did for me. Please Ezri. Can you save Jar'an. He needs you.  
T'lana started to glow blue white. Startled Kira stepped back. Powered by the love of so many millions, Ezri came up out of T'lana stood and took on solid form. Ezri checked herself. I have never felt so much love. Kira gently hugged her and opened the curtains. Look Ezri. All of Trill is praying for Jar'an. Ezri started to cry. This is the Trill I know. So much love. She glowed bright green for a moment and then opened the door to cross the hall. The people saw her and bowed down. Ezri went in the surgery bay and the whole room went dark. It was like the power had been shut off. Nobody moved. No body made a sound. Ezri began to glow the brightest green Kira has ever seen.

It kept getting brighter and brighter forcing all to look away. Then Ezri turned and touched Jar'ans chest. His whole body glowed bright green. Then all of a sudden there was a bright red flash, and the room was dark again. Maintenance fixed the breakers and got the lights on. The doctor checked on Jar'an. They got the heart monitors reset and back on line. Jar'ans heart was getting stronger. Slowly, but surely stronger. Kira wept big tears saying over and over again Thank you Ezri! Thank you, Thank you. The crowd outside came to life with one big roar as he news filtered out to them. They brought T'Lana out of her coma and gave her the good news. They moved her and all the babies in the same room with me so she could see and be with me. All around the galaxy their were cheers as the people received the news. T'Lana held my hand as I slept.

Doctor will not let me get out of bed, my body needs to heal. I want so much to hold my husband and cuddle with him as our babies sleep. Can feel the love of our family and people. I began to stir. Head sore chest hurts. So much pain. The nurse gave me a shot. The pain eased. My blood pressure went back down. In a weak raspy voice I said hello my love. T'lana Dax-Tigan Smiles, hi baby sorry I felt all your pain. They put me back in a coma, I love you so much. I do not ever want to lose you. Ezri fixed me. Kira called her out. So tired. It's over now. T'lana said, Now I know why I feel so drained and tired, my body hurts and have a bad headache. I said, No honey that's just you getting old..

T'lana said, Ha Ha. I said, I did promise you we would be two wrinkly spotted raisins messing up the pool. T'lana, Ouch, laughing I love you. The doctor came back in to check up on me. The wound looks good. You heart is getting stronger.

I see you are still having blood pressure issues. That may be from all the meds we pumped in you. Oh and by the way I did a DNA scan on you. You are all Trill now. 100%. Get some rest. Kira walked up. Hi there. You avenged me. You risked your life to free me. I swore to you I would. I love you. How's the house? Kira was crying and couldn't talk. I reached out with the link. Hey now. No more crying. Now is the time for your joy. People all across the galaxy heard what you did. Everywhere they were praying and sending you their love, as I do now. The doctor says I'm going to have a boy. I'm going to name him Jar'an. Odo is setting up our new home and I have to set up my new office.

T'lana asked, Doctor when can I take our family home?  
I toled her, Not for a while honey Ezri is still fixing me. Kira and T'lana said what? She changed herself and went inside me. She is fixing me. Now I know T'lana, what you mean about two minds. T'lana was upset, How could she do that? Omg, I know now why I feel as if I am missing something inside me. I smiled, Don't worry honey. We are ok. She will always be with us. She changed me. The last of my humanity is gone and I am all Trill, and all yours honey. Kira wiped her eyes and kissed my cheek. She whispered in my ear so only I could hear. I will always love you too. Then she turned and waved good bye to T'Lana and the kids and was out the door.

I just layed there smiling at my beautiful wife. T'lana Smiles laying back down holding your hand and listening to the children giggle.  
As always, Jar'el was the first to speak up. Daddy's different.  
T'lana added, Yes children daddy will be so much better and so will your mommy. We all love you so much. Daddy will be home with us to help take care of the family. Aunt Kira and Polly and Lillian will be home to look after the family.

**The Lost Trill (Secrets) Chap Eighteen / Segment One.**  
(My Secret Place)  
It took a long time for the pain in my chest to fade. As the weeks turned into months, my wife stayed by my side. She could have gone home weeks ago but would not leave me. I guess anybody who would voluntary stay and eat hospital food just to be with their husband must either have a cast iron stomach or really love me. We would spend hours using our mind link to have all kinds of conversations.  
One night when it was late, we started up our link and started talking about what all we were going to do with the rest of our lives. That's when I decided to show her my secret place. She asked, what is this place you are showing me Jar'an? I said this is our place. There is no one here but us. In her mind, I said now close your eyes. When she opened them we were standing naked on a beautiful beach of a private lagoon.  
The air, the wind, the sand and water. It all feels so real. I am all the way inside your mind now. I kissed her passionately. We swam and made love on the huge beach towel. Getting tired I whispered. So I pull back out and T'Lana wakes up and realizes she made a mess in the bed. She was so red faced with embarrassment when she had to call for the nurse to change the sheets. After the nurse left the doctor heard and came to check up on T'Lana. She was so embarrassed. The doctor looked at her then at me. I pointed to my head. He just shook his head and snickered all the way out of the room.  
Just as soon as everybody left. She fired off at me. Don't you ever embarrass me like that again. I just grinned and snickered. I can feel you. I can feel all of you. Everything you taste and touch. Don't lie to me. You know you liked it. T'lana said, I felt so embarrassed, I loved our dream state it was wonderful. I love you so much and the children listen to them talking in our minds and saying daddy mommy we love you.  
Jar'el? Are you being good to the girls? He giggles me big brother, yes daddy. Jar'an said, Good, Son, Girls have long memories. So be nice ok? The girls chimed in, Daddy Brother, he be good we beat him up...both girls giggles I said, Now-Now. Play nice. We all laugh. Jar'el asks, Daddy sisters are different they have their spots. Where mine? Jar'an said, You will get yours later and all the girls will be chasing you all around the pool. T'lana said, Now honey don't tell him that.  
Laughing, I said, Why not, you chased me. And caught me several times. Giggling, T'lana said, Because I love you and wanted you.  
I said, I still remember you smacking me in the back of my head with that wet towel. T'lana said, I remember you smacking me in the butt and throwing me in the pool. I said, As I recall, You didn't complain much when I jumped in and snuggled up to you. Besides, you needed to cool off.

T'lana Giggles, I love you so much baby. Laughing, I said, I love you too. And you too kids. See mommy and daddy likes to play sometimes too. Daddy likes to tickle mommy.I snicker, Opeaning my link, Ezri is laughing. She loves the kids. She is telling me to rest. T'lana laughs, we all need to rest. I ask, has Yanas talked to you? T'lana said, Yes, Mom is very happy for us and loves her grandchildren. Just then, High Minister Telora walked in. In our mind link, I say so much for rest. Hi mommy how's the baby doing? Everything is great at my house. How about you? You seem allot stronger today. Stronger yes but it doesn't last. I still get tired easy. How's Politics? She snickered and said boring. I bring news of the convicted ex-president Jacobs. He was executed today at noon Bajoran time. Why so long?, I asked.  
Well he had filed numerous appeals and his family was putting pressure on the Federation council to overturn his conviction. I said, I should have killed him myself. And what about the rapist? He turned evidence against Jacobs in exchange for his life. He may be regretting that. They had him castrated and he will spend the rest of his life on a prison planet. I said, They should have given the knife to Kira. Well that's part of my reason for visiting. Kira was asked to come witness the execution and castration and she refused.  
She wants nothing further to do with Bajor or DS9.

Their minister asked me to see if you can talk to her. High Minister, she is still hurting and right now she is all big and fat with the baby. You remember how joyously miserable that felt. But I will talk to her the next time she visits. She said Thank you. I must go. More boring meetings and all. By the way when do you want your job back. Laughing, I rubbed my chest. And said, not for a long while yet. The Doctor comes in and checks on us, T'lana grows impatient. Doctor when can I take my family home? The doctor examines me. Runs a few scans and checks the heart monitor.  
Checking my chart. Well I think we can conditionally release your husband. He must rest. Looking at me, and I really mean rest. No work. None! You must not use beaming technology for at least another month. And...Nurse would you give us a moment please? She said, sure doctor and she left the room. The doctor closed the door. Look T'Lana I knew your mother and you are just like her. Go really easy on the sex. Jar'an I mean it. Too much sex too soon will just bring you right back here and I may not be able to fix the damage next time. If it wasn't for what Ezri did You would be dead by now, so don't push your luck. Yes T'lana, I know about Ezri. I birthed her too. You and her could be sisters, they way you act. All of Trill, prayed for you Jar'an. Including me. All of Trill, loves you two, Including me, so please do what I say.  
I said, I give you my word doctor. I will be on my best behavior. The doctor shakes my hand. You were one of our best leaders. I hope one day you will lead us some more. I said, I guess I will have to address the press before I can get out of here. Can I use that wheelchair? Doc said good idea. I climbed in and he wheeled me out to the press corps. As soon as they saw me the room exploded in applause and cheers. Camera's flashing. TV Camera's running. All wanted to know how I was doing. I raised my hands for quiet. After a moment they quieted down and let me speak. I took a second to wipe my eyes. My Trill Brothers, and sisters. I am so incredibly honored and humbled at the love you all have shown to me, and my family. Now, I must go home and rest. I have no plans to seek office any time soon.

I have a loving wife, and a wonderful family to raise. I have complete confidence in High Minister Telora's administration and I support her. I love you all. So very much.  
So now if you will excuse me. I want go spend time at home with my family. The doctor had the nurses' load up his medical supplies and the nanny helped gather and load up the babies. The doctor provided a medical shuttle and we all loaded up and left for home.  
I called ahead and Jar'don lowered the shield dome so we could land. But not at the spaceport. Jar'don had constructed a landing pad near the residence. I thought what a great idea. Now the babies won't be scared by all the noise. As we landed I saw Dr Bashir. I knew my doctor had already contacted him with instructions for my care. Then I saw skinny Polly and Kira walking out of the house to the patio table, with a food and drink tray. The shuttle door opened and Jullian climbed in. I stood and he said I am so glad to see you. I open my arms and Jules warmly embraced me. He helped me out and down off the landing pad.  
Kira ran up and hugged me as best she could being so great with child. Wow, Kira. Not long now. I gave her a warm hug and kiss. Polly was ecstatic to see me again. She hugged me tightly. Hey there family. No more crying. I am home and I love you all. Polly you got skinny again. Hows the baby? He is wonderful. Hugging me again she whispered and so are you. I love you so much. You kept your promise. A loving husband and a baby. And what about your's. Awwww, they are so beautiful.  
Polly, I'm tired. Hey Polly please help me over to that chair. Jar'don and Lilianna brought their baby and we put them all next to each other. We took many pictures and then settled down to eat. I raised my glass for a toast.."Here's to Love and Family".. I love you all.  
T'lana Kisses me with so much passion, I am so glad you are going to be ok. Thank you, Ezri for saving us all. I love you sister so much, You have the family you always wanted thru us. , Inside me. Look we are all here and alive and healthy. In my mind. I say Thank You Ezri for saving my life.T'lana Chimes in on your link, Yes thank you from all of us. Without you sister we would all be dead.

**The Lost Trill (Secrets) Chap Eighteen / Segment Two**  
(Kira's Baby)

The next day seemed different. It was different. No more meetings, or politics. No more threats to me or our family. I feel as if a weight has been taken off me. Smelling the crisp morning sea air.  
Carefully, I slip out of bed and sit outside in my patio chair and meditate. I can hear Ezri stir inside me. Yawning and stretching. I said in my mind Good Morning Ezri. I love you. She smiled. Her eyes were so full of love. Ezri, can you tell me about T'Lana's dark place? A man came didn't he. He hurt her. She killed him didn't she. She went mad didn't she. Ezri looked shocked. I told her look at my dark spot. I know the feeling. Ezri started to cry. I cannot say.

I promised not to. I stared at Ezri for a long time. Then I hugged her and said I will honor your promise. She said, Thank You. I love you so much for protecting my sister T'lana. SSSSSSssssshhhh, she is coming. Walking out in her open robe my beauty was yawning and scratching her butt. She silently walked over and climbed up in my lap and we cuddled for a while. Moaning sleepily, she said the bed got cold when you left.  
T'lana Kisses me with so much passion, Sees in my mind. Erzi you promised me not to say what we saw. Ezri said, hush little sister when your ready you can and will tell your husband. I chimed in, Ezri told me nothing. She said she promised not to and I honored that. You can tell me anything you want.  
When ever you're ready. For now, don't be cross with your sister. She didn't tell.  
Can you go and get me some coffee? And maybe a Danish.  
T'lana said, Yes baby, be right back ...Gets up and closes her robe and goes inside for coffee and Danish. T'lana comes back with coffee and Danish's, And sits them down, shaking with tears running down her face. Chiming in our mind link, Sorry Ezri. I love you and our family so much.  
It pains me for what I saw, T'Lana kisses Jar'an with so much passion. Kira came dragging and yawning, out the guestroom, Big belly and all. She saw me smiling at her and tried to close her robe. Her big belly in the way she finally said aw the hell with it nothing you haven't seen before.  
Snickering, I said yep been up close and personal. She sat down at the table with her cup of coffee. I lean in and whisper. I still remember what you taste like. Kira blushes all red faced and giggles. T'lana, Kira and I noticed you are upset and we are both concerned. What's wrong honey?  
T'lana climbs back up in my lap and I hug and rock her till she is able to talk. She said, Nothing really, Don't worry about me it is you Two I worry about. Kira said you two? I said yes, Ezri and me. She is inside me. Kira said WHAT!.. Kira, do you remember when she fixed your baby she glowed blue, well because of my human DNA she had to change herself to go inside me. That's why she glowed green. And why she flashed bright red. That was to cover up the fact she went inside me. Turning back to T'lana, As for you my spotted beauty. If you don't stop worrying so much I'm going to throw you in the pool again. T'lana Whispers in my ear. No, this host killed a man and beat to others half to death. This dark place is so bad it almost drove her insane.

I asked, is the host happy? Are you happy? Is Dax happy? Honey we must leave the past behind us. Kira sat back down with her coffee. We all have endured some of the sickest, most violent things possible and we are all alive, and happy, and healthy. Please I just want for all of us to be happy. Kira has had to kill. You have had to kill and well, I slaughtered almost 11Million people when I killed the Tralax.T'lana said, I have to tell her story honey. It was a blood bath. They were going to do really bad things to other woman and me. We had no choice. I kissed her.

Those last four words summed it all up for me. I love you. I love all of you. I love the good and the bad. T'lana hugs and kisses me with so much passion, I love you too. Kira where is Odo? He is still sleeping in his pail. I said, I heard something about you not wanting to go back to Bajor. Honey, if you want to live here on Trill you are more than welcome. But ,there is a problem isn't there. Kira shut down completely and said flatly, I don't want to talk about it. She finished her coffee and got up. I need to shower and get ready for work. T'lana said, Kira, we love you. That's why we are concerned.  
With a soft voice, I reached out to her. I said Kira. She froze in her tracks. Please talk to me. She whirled back around to face me. You're not going to let this go are you.

I served, I gave, I risked my life, I trusted. I, was violated, I was raped. And after all that, do you know what the Vedic said to me? He wants me to send Odo away and marry a Bajoran man and have a Bajoran baby.  
Well to hell with my world, The Federation, and DS9. I'm going to live my life, my way... OUCH!.. I want my...OUCH!.. All bent over, I stood to support her.. She said, Oh shit my water just broke.. I hollered ODO! GET OUT HERE NOW!  
T'lana said, Oh no. Kira's baby is coming. We have to get her to medical fast. I reached for T'lana, I can't transport honey. Use yours. I will wake Odo. T'lana put her shoulder under Kira's arm and hit her auto transport. I went in and kicked over Odo's pail. He spilled out all over the floor. He sprang up and was about to holler at me when I grabbed his auto transport and tossed it to him. Get to the hospital. T'lana took Kira her water just broke. She is in labor. Go, Go Now!  
Alarms went off as T'lana shimmered in transporting Kira to medical and they rush her right into the birthing area, The doctor asks her to leave and wait outside for Odo and to bring him here. Odo didn't say anything. Just hit his auto-transport and was gone. Arriving at the hospital Alarms were still sounding. T'lana was waiting when Odo beamed in. No arguments Odo, Go Take her hand and take over. You are going to be a daddy. T'Lana stepped back on the transport pad and shimmered away as Odo was going through the door to the Birthing area.T'lana arrives back home, and comes to you and snuggles up close. Anytime now Odo and Kira are going to be parents. Snickering, I said, yes that's when the fun really begins. I hope somebody tells poor Odo to keep that thing covered while he is cleaning and changing the baby. Laughing, I wonder if a founder can throw up...HAHAHAHAHA.  
T'lana laughs, baby, the fun has started for them the doctor just sent me a message. Odo and Kira's son is born very healthy and screaming his lungs out. Giggles. I said, Like Mother, Like Son aeh? LOL T'lana laughing.I hug and kissed T'Lana passionately. When I pulled back I whispered family is everything. Let's give the poor doctor a day with Kira and get her all cleaned up. We can go see them tomorrow. We have children to feed.  
T'lana said, I agree sweetheart, the nanny needs a break too.  
The rest of our day was spent laughing and enjoying our babies. That night we soaked naked in the hot tub. Enjoying the coolness under the stars sharing each other's love. Basically being just a family for the first time. Ezri seemed more at peace with her place inside me.  
I feel her love. It's so strong. Jar'don came by with plans for a new children's playground, so all our kids will be able to have their place. I also asked him to design a security force field around the pool and hot tub so little hands and feet can't just dive in whenever they want.  
Jullian and Polly came by with their baby and spent the night with us for a time. Of course Jullian had to examine me.  
Polly seemed so much better now that her past is behind her. She even let me meld with her and shared privately, how much she loved me. Of course her and T'lana would kiss and hold on to each other. They need each other. I told her in the meld how proud I was at her progress. Wickedly she showed me a memory of her flying with Jules. She made me blush. Everybody laughed. Jullian's new home will be ready tomorrow. They will be moving this weekend to the other side of the island and we will be seeing them less and less. If I know Polly she will be burning up the communicator system.

Later that night we climbed in the hot tub and relaxed.  
Poor T'lana had been darting all around the house. Cleaning and straightening and taking care of the babies. She just about wore herself out. Finally she relaxed. It's so peaceful baby everybody is happy and in T'lana, I was wondering, does Trill have anything that resembles the earth custom of Christmas? T'lana said, I do not remember. You would have to ask dad. Well, I said, The reason I ask is for the children.

On earth we would decorate and exchange gifts and get toys for the kids to play with. Right now, on Earth it's the first of November. I wonder if the family would like a trip to earth and see Christmas. I still have some influence with some people there. T'lana Honey, Do you know what snow is? She said, only from what I saw from, pictures on earth. Being Trill it would be too cold for us. But, I think as long as we dress warm and the children have the experience to have a Christmas. It would be fun.  
I will send Jake to earth to poke around and see if tensions have settled. T'lana said, Have I told you how much I love you today and how proud I am of you?  
I smiled, Ezri may have healed me. But you give me, everyday, a reason for living. I love you both. T'lana Hugs you and kisses you With so much passion. When it is time you will meet her in our journey together.  
I said, I can't wait. The things she has shared with me so far only makes me love you more. T'lana Kissed me. I loved you from the first time I saw you. I said to myself, That human would be mine. I never dreamed you would be one of our lost Trill's. I love you so much and very proud of you.  
Jar'don says I'm not "Lost" anymore, and he is right. I feel more at home here on Trill than I have anywhere else. T'lana asked, Honey tell me more about earth holidays and snow.  
Jar'an said, Well, on earth we celebrate "Thanks Giving", Then we have "Christmas", Then we have a "New Years Celebration". T'lana climbs up and sits in my lap listening to me talk about your earth traditions. T'lana sees dad coming. Hello dad, Please join us. Closes her robe and sits in the chair in between both men. Hi Jar'don, T'lana here wants to know about Earth holidays. Jar'don took a sip of his coffee, and said this sounds interesting, Please continue.  
Well, Lets see, Thanks Giving is a celebration where all the family gets together and thinks about all the things that happened that year and all the things we need to be thankful for. Then we sit down to a giant feast of food, and eat till we can't eat any more. Jar'don got very interested when I mentioned food. He said, please go on son and tell us more.  
T'lana asked, why would you eat like that unless you all are with child? I continue, Well some are. But most are not. It's kind of what we have when the whole family has dinner here. We laugh and talk, Catch up on what they have done, or what plans they have. Tlana smiles, Turning to dad she says, Dad I like this holiday please tell us more sweetheart.  
Well, Christmas is a time of season we call winter. It's cold and snowing. We would cut down a small tree and decorate it with colorful lights and Glass balls. Then we would put all the presents under the tree till Christmas Day and we all would get up in the morning. Then, as a family, we exchange gifts. Afterwards, some people gather together and sing songs. Some go to their place of worship and give prayers of thanks for Staying safe through the year.  
And then there is New Years. That is like a big party celebrating the passing of the old year and the beginning of a new one. T'lana said excitedly, wow, I would like this very much. Can we have these holidays honey? Jar'don was watching to see what kind of parent I was going to be. I said, Now Children and Mommy, I need to know if it's safe for all of you before we go, So I can't make any promises.  
I will see what I can do. Children, you need to go to sleep Daddy wants to have some alone time with mommy. Mommy gets to bathe me. And Daddy gets to Tickle mommy. Standing Jar'don added and Grandpa gets to leave and go to work.

Laughing, Still squeamish aeh Grandpa? Jar'don chuckled and snarled at me. T'lana Laughed and kissed her daddy good night. The kids all chimed in, Daddy we want to see Santa clause, T'lana looks at me. I ask, Children how do you know about him. T'lana asked, Honey who are they talking about? The kids said, We hear daddy thinking of a sip of my coffee, I thought for a moment.  
Ok, Kids, On earth, Santa Clause is a very special person who is very powerful. Kind of like Ezri is here. He keeps check on all the Earth children, and knows when they are bad or good. He only leaves toys for children who are good.

The kids got excited. We are good daddy and mommy and grandpa. We love you all. I said, now calm down children. I have to send a friend to see if all the bad people are gone away. But even if we can't go, I may have a way to bring Christmas here. The kids say Yay all the children say. Mommy daddy we can't wait. I reminded them, Well first, All good children need their sleep. T'lana backed me up. She added, Children it's time to rest your little minds we love you will come to kiss you good night. We got up slowly and walk through to the nursery, kisses the kids and then daddy kissed mommy passionately.  
T'lana rubbed her belly against my bulging manhood. Mmmmmm, Wow kisses you with so much passion. I moaned, mmmm yummy...Lets get wet. T'lana giggles, kisses the children good night. And follows daddy to the bedroom, and then into the bathroom  
Daddy and Mommy went into the shower and sat down on the lounge. Mommy took daddy's clothes off Giggling as she went. Daddy rubbed his warm hands up under mommy's shirt and made her moan with anticipation.  
They made passionate love, all the while being careful not to over stress her husband's heart. I got really tired but loved every second of it. Our mind link has changed so much. It's grown so intimate and personal. I can feel Ezri helping and peeking. She turned away giggling. T'lana chimed in to our mind link, Honey the children are asleep and our minds are clear, smiles and kisses you.

Kissing you back,We slowly make our way to the bed and you pulled back the covers to tuck me in. T'lana made one last check on the children and comes to bed and snuggles up close. We exchanged thoughts for a while till sleep finally caught up to us. T'lana Snuggles so close and kisses your lips. I love you baby so much. Good night I said, I love you too, my spotted princess.

**The Lost Trill (Secrets) Chap Eighteen / Segment Three.**  
(Loves Risk)  
Finally, back at home, I thank the security squad for being there for us. T'Lana was a woman on a mission. She went straight into the house and started along with the Nanny to get the children cleaned and fed. I went inside and placed the towel over my shoulder and as one got finished I would gently burp them so they would feel better.  
The second child, Yanas had a surprise for me. When she burped she spit up all the way down the back of my shirt. T'lana and the Nanny cracked up as they tried to wipe up the mess. The more they tried the nastier it got, the more they laughed. What really made it funny was Yanas was laughing in our heads too. Then of course Ezri and Jar'el had to chime in laughing. The poor nanny was wiping tears from her face, she was laughing so hard.

T'lana was Laughing her butt off. All of them just couldn't stop laughing. Finally I was able to get Yanas to settle down and said so much for this shirt. I tried to pull it off. It was stuck to my back.  
T'lana Laughs and tries to help you out of your shirt, laughing so hard. She said, EEEWWWW, Pealing it off my back. The children are all laughing and we laughed too, we just can't stop this is so funny. The nanny said between laughs to just get in the shower and soak it off with some soap and warm water. I looked at her and smiled. Good idea. T'lana come with me I will need some help reaching all the mess. We walked into the bathroom. T'lana looked back at the nanny and she winked at her. T'lana gave her a wicked grin and the nanny pulled the bathroom door closed. T'lana runs the water and gets me all wet and finally got my shirt off along with the rest of my clothes. She takes her time and soaps me all up and massages my body from head to toe. MMMMMMMMMMMMM AAHHHHH the joys of family life. I am definitely going to give that nanny a raise. T'lana Laughs, I love you so much and our children. We kiss with so much passion.  
Kissing you I pull your wet sundress off and soap up you in your underwear washing and rubbing the soap everywhere. T'lana said, mmmmm,this feels wonderful. Reaches down and massages me.  
MMMMMmmmmmm, I know what you want.. Laying down on the lounge chair I pulled you on top kissing you passionately.. T'lana says, yes and I know what you want. We made wild passionate love. Kissing you with so much more passion, T'lana said, that was wonderful. I whisper in your ear only the best for my baby..

T'lana Smiles, we are so good together. We have the most wonderful family. I said, Yes we do. I hand her a robe and I put mine on. As we walked out of the bathroom the nanny was watching the babies. She looked up and I kind of faked a stumble. She blushed and giggled.  
T'lana giggled and laughs, Snacking my arm, You Bratt, you did that on purpose. Smiling, I ask the nanny. You got a husband? She giggles. No sir. T'lana said, she will make a wonderful wife and mother someday. She said, maybe someday. But I'm young. I just love your babies. They are so good.. She smiles and laughs. T'lana smiles at me for making Mira feel she is part of the family. Chiming in my mind link. Family is everything. Ok the pizza is out on the patio table. Let's eat..Inviting the nanny to eat with us, we sit down as a family and eat pizza.

The children are fast asleep so we all can have adult time.  
Sharing some laughs and drips of melted cheese, we start talking about life in general. The nanny said, she was starting college but ran out of money and went into training for child care. College I said, What were you studying? Baby Medicine.  
I sat back and thought for a moment. Then I told the nanny if you keep doing a good job, I will see to it you get your second chance at College. T'lana smiled, honey that is a wonderful thing to say.

She is doing a great job for us. We have to invest in the future. Maybe one day when our children have children she may do the surgery that saves their child. We also need to establish two new saving accounts for Ezri and Yanas and update our insurance policies and wills to include them as well. You still have your trust account from Yanas Mining ventures. We need to set up trusts for the kids as well. But I do want them all to get the best education we can give them.  
I agree honey and our son needs the best as well. If we ever have another baby we need to make sure they are all covered. Well, can we please at least get these three out of diapers first?  
T'lana giggles.  
Chiming in my link with T'lana, I noticed the nanny has been wearing the same clothes several times and some are a little thread bare. Does she come from a poor district? T'lana answered back, yes baby she does but we have been so busy with the family and everything else. I have a package for her and haven't had time to give it to her.  
Some extra clothes you cleaned out of your closet? T'lana said, yes and no. I had some bought for her and some of mine. Just another reason why I love you so much. We should not even have any poor districts anymore. T'lana says, lets try to work on that.

I smiled, Agreed.. We have the wherewithal to effect change. Now we have the time. I will need to coordinate our efforts with Minister Teloras office. T'lana says, ok lets get the ball rolling. We will but first I have to be cleared medically and the doctor won't do that for a while. We still have family things to handle too. Why don't you have some girl talk with the nanny. She can help identify the most needed areas. T'lana stood and pulled out a pad out of her pocket. Done and hands you a pad she gave me this morning. You sneaky girl! I love it. Ok, it looks like the poorest provinces are mainly concentrated in the farming districts in the southern part of the main Continent. T'lala said, That's about right baby.  
Oh by the way the nanny is in the spare room trying on her new clothes. That's good. She works hard and should be able to enjoy some of the finer things in life.

So, what seems to be the main area of poverty each area is facing? Is it a lack of work, food, education, or medical care. Checking the pads data, T'lana said, It's a little of everything baby, This doesn't make since. I had standardized all the education programs for the entire planet, before I left office. T'lana said, some places must have been left out. Look at the topographical overlay of this area. It's very remote. I think we need to bring medical care and replicators in this area and get some new roads and bridges built.  
T'lana said, I was thinking the same thing. Mira comes out showing off her new outfit. Smiling, you are defiantly going to catch a man wearing that outfit.. Mira says, thank you both I love the new clothes. Pointing to the pad, I ask, Mira, is this your hometown? Yes, Why? I ask, why didn't they cut a new road through this flatland? Mira said they started to but stopped over a year ago. Something about budget costs. My smile vanished, Looking at T'lana sounds like politics to me.  
T'lana asks, so what can we do to help her and the people in the flatlands? Studying the charts, First, we need to finish that road so they can have easy access to the outside world. Mira said, we have some Replicators and Transport stations. Our schools are way behind and some of our older farmers don't like using the transports and want to haul their cargo the old fashion way.

Studying the pad I noticed something. T'lana, is that Yanas Mining company there about 80 miles to the southeast? Looking, she said yes it is. I said well their will be bulldozing and grading equipment on site. We can get the road built much quicker with their help. How much influence do you still have with the company? I don't know? Jar'don set up the accounts in accordance with mamma's will. I raise up and give you a kiss. Then we need to invite Jar'don and his family to dinner tonight and discuss it.  
T'lana said, I already invited the family for dinner and taking the steps for you and the rest of the consul to help us fix our planet. I sat back and said, Maybe I should just go on vacation and let you run things for a while. Mira snickers.. T'lana smacks my arm.

Bull, you get your butt back to work. I love you. Rubbing my arm I say, Nice to know your still the boss.. Looking over at Mira, At least the benefit package is pleasant. T'lana Laughs. I ask, So when do we should expect receiving our guest. T'lana said, Daddy is coming soon with his family and we will all be together. I said, Good Id like Mira to dine with us a well. I want her to know we care about her people. T'lana said, Honey I think she will like that. She is family too. Helping us, and taking care of the children and us when we been sick. I had my checkup today and the doctor told me not to get pregnant for at least 3 yrs. My body needs to heal and give us time to enjoy our small children.

Smiling wickedly, I added, and each other too..T'lana said, The doctor gave me 2 shots and one was for a mix of vitamins and the other was for me not to be able to become pregnant. I said, I thought he tied your tubes. T'lana said, I thought so too. Now I'm getting mad, Then what the hell is the doctor up to.. I don't need any more surprises. I start to get really angry and hear Ezri tell me to calm down. That T'lana is all right and there is nothing to worry about.T'lana said, Scan me to see what he has put into my body to make sure I wasn't given anything that will hurt me. I grabbed my scanner. (Scanning) The other shot was not for pregnancy. It's a hormone inhibitor.

Apparently, to compensate for Ezri's absence. Looks like your body has developed a dependence on something the spirits give you. T'lana said, Oh really, that makes sense I guess. I love you honey. I feel Ezri's spirit flowing through my mind. Its time you know. She opened both our mind links so we both can see. T'lana asks, Is she is coming back to me? Ezri said not yet. Yanas told the doctor what she needed.  
I took a risk in changing myself to enter you Jar'an. And T'lana, Yes, I am returning back but not for a while. Once every thousand years, one is chosen to carry the most powerful of all of us. That person is known as the everlasting vessel.

They absorb some of the power we live on. In exchange, they age extremely slow and assist us in bridging the gap between the living and us, the 'an, and T'lana this may be hard to hear. Jar'an, You died and was crossing over when I went in and interrupted the process and pulled you back across. For the last month, you have been living off my energy. T'lana said, I don't understand. Ezri, you did save Jar'an for me.? Ezri said, Yes, You two are linked by your dax. If he dies you will die too. It was a by product of his experience with the Tezerax, when he helped Yanas those many years ago. T'lana said, This I know already, I hope and pray nothing happens to us. I said, Now I understand Dax's message. We two are now one.  
T'lana Smiles,Thank You, I am pleased because I love this man with all my heart. I said, It also explains your explosive fear of dying. It's not just your fear. It's theirs too. If you die, Ezri, Yanas, and all the others that speak through you will die too. Their energy matrixes will unravel. T'lana says, Wow. Sits down and closes my eyes and links to her mother.

Addressing Ezri, I know there is more. I can feel it. Time for total truth between us. You might not be able to go back. You are afraid my body will become dependent on your energy matrix as well.  
Ezri, What else. Did you brake some kind of rule? Ezri started to cry I might not be able to cross back over to the spirit realm. I saw all that you did for Julian and I love you for doing all you have done for T'lana. I knew I had to intervene. And to stop what was going to happen. T'lana said, We love you Ezri. Thank you for saving us and our family and friends. If you can't go back you are welcome to stay with us. In our bodies,. I reached out with my mind. Ezri, you know I can feel you. I know you felt so cheated out of life. Cheated out of love. I promise I will do all I can to help you in any way you need me too.  
I too have an ability you don't know about. I can take you both to my secret place. There Ezri you will be solid flesh and bone, able to feel and breathe and live. It will take some doing but I can create a mental construct of Julian and you can have some time together. T'lana asked, sister how would you like what Jar'an has said?  
I added, I would have to meld with Polly and share some of her physical experiences with Julian to be able to accurately create the construct. Ezri was shocked. She cried big tears. You would do that for me? T'lana said, Ezri, we would do anything for you. I cautioned, It's hard to do. Requires a very invasive meld. Nobody will have any privacy during the whole process. Not me, not you, not T'lana, and not Polly. T'lana said, Honey, my mother wants to talk to you. Jar'an can you hear me? I smiled, Hello Yanas, you look just as beautiful as ever.  
Yanas Smiles, Thank you my son, I can help you and my baby girls talk in this place you talk about. I asked, Please explain.. Yanas said, I have my secrets too. How to help you become stronger to build your place and we all can be there as Trills, feeling and touching as we were still alive. I cautioned, Yanas, if we do this everybody would see and feel everything everybody does with everybody else.  
Maybe I can leave Polly out of the mental loop and meld with Jules instead. Yanas said, No my son, I can help you make each person have their own little island. I cautioned, There is a danger. You and me and Ezri will be consuming a tremendous amount of energy. It could affect T'lana and I'm not sure I want to take that big a risk. Polly's mental framework is still strengthening.

Yanas said, God's son. I forgot the energy my baby would use. It might kill her. I can't take that chance. It's ok Yanas. It was a good idea. We may have to use it another way. Ezri, I will try it another way. A direct meld with Julian, But I must ask him and Polly for their permission. For now, I still need time to heal and get stronger. We still have to help our people. Yanas, Ezri, I love you both. We will make this happen and Yanas, If I can make this work, I might be able to meld with Jar'don for you. Yanas said thank you. Now we must rest, talk to T'lana and my grandbabies. I love you all so much.  
Ezri and Yanas both flooded my body with the warmth of their love.  
I cried, it's been so long for the two of you. I promise I will try. I love you both. I love you too T'lana. Yanas and Ezri said, we love you to my son for now we will go and sleep. You can be with the family. The servants were already at work setting up the evening meal when we woke up from our mental nap. T'lana Feeling rested and smells great whatever they are cooking. Diner was wonderful. I really think we can start to make a difference in that poor district. Jar'don said he would contact the mining company manager. Once we get control of the grading equipment we need, we can finish that road. I will have a crew working on the northern end smoothing and pouring the concrete base.

If they keep to the schedule, the pouring should be at the three-quarter mark when the final road grading is completed.  
Then we will move another two of the large escape pods I have in storage, in place and convert them to schoolhouses and Medical center. Hey, the kids are asleep. Come with me to the showers. I have something to show you. T'lana smiles wickedly. I chuckled, Something else but that too as well. Giggling we go inside. I gave the nanny a look and she blushed and knew not to listen too closely to the bathroom door.

Once inside after I closed the door, I got the steam going and we stripped and kissed passionately. Holding and rubbing your moist skin, I pull back and asked are you ready? I put my hands on her head and we layed down on the shower lounge. Where are we going? She asked inside my head? Just a moment I said. Then we were back at the private lagoon. We are naked standing together feeling the cool breeze flow between us. I kiss you passionately and said we have a visitor. Coming thru the gate door was Ezri. Standing there naked and looking a little bewildered.

I wave for Ezri to come over to introduce them to each other. Ezri was shocked. She said I didn't know you could do this. T'lana stared at Ezri for a moment and said so this is what you really look like. Ezri, I'd like you to meet T'lana, Your sister. We know we are sisters' dummy. No you don't. Calling out over my shoulder, Yanas, tell them or I will. Yanas appeared naked as well.

Yanas said what is this? She looked down. I, said, here nothing is hidden. Not even our bodies. Yanas you need to tell them why they look and act so much alike. Why even their spots are almost the exact same. Yanas looked at both the girls and back at me. Crying she said your right. I should have told them long ago. Ezri said, I know you from somewhere else in the past. Yanas said you should child. You're my daughter. You and T'lana are blood sisters but with two different fathers. I was so young when it happened. He worked in the mine and was so handsome One day we sneaked off and went swimming naked in the lake and well, rolling her eyes looking at me.  
Smiling wickedly, Yanas said something came up and we got together and.. I saw Yanas straining with embarrassment so I let her off easy. I interrupted. When your mother was about Polly's age she made love with a miner friend she met while spending the summer with her family learning about the mining business.

Yanas looked at Ezri. Ezri, the mother who raised you, was a woman I adopted you out to because my family did not want to live with the shame of a pregnant daughter. I added, Yanas had no choice in the matter but kept track of you all the time. She loves you both because you two are from her body and her heart. So you two are not only sister dax's, you are blood sisters as well. Like they never seen each other before, Ezri looked at T'lana and compared their spots and they even had the same mole hidden down in that special place.  
They both just started giggling and jumping up and down. They ran up to Yanas and gave her a big hug. Ezri looked up into her mommy's eyes and shared a thought that made them all brake down and cry.

We sat down on the big blanket layed out on the beach. The sisters all hugged up. I held Yanas close so she wouldn't feel left out. Snickering, she said not too close. That thing is loaded and I still know what to do with it. Snickering I whispered in her ear. And I still know how to use it. Yanas blushed. I sat back. And said what is all this blushing business? I saw you two. You and Ezri here peaking at T'lana and me when we were making love.

You still have the itch don't you. Both of you. Ezri looked at Yanas and back at me. I cracked up. Just like T'lana. Never get enough. Just then everybody cracked up and forgot the world, the past and just reveled in the love we all shared. I told them I am getting tired and have to pull out of this link so say your good byes for now. We will do this again.  
Ezri said ok bye. She stood and vanished. Then Yanas hugged T'lana and turned to me and said thank you for this. Bye my beautiful daughter. Say hi to the kids for me. And then she turned and vanished. We woke up back in the shower. And with no more words T'Lana climbed on top of me and we made wild passionate love for more than an hour. Finally, we showered off and came out to go to bed.  
The Nanny was sitting on the end of the bed folding baby clothes. She said, I think you forgot something. We looked down and ran back in and grabbed our robes and both came back out so red faced, Mira just cracked up and said Good Night and went to the nursery to finish folding the baby clothes. We snickered while we got in bed. And cuddled up to get warm.  
Later that night I woke up and woke up Ezri. Sorry Ezri. I'm glad you had a good day. She smiled. And said, I have a sister. You did that. Thank you.. Ezri, I need to tell you something hard for you to hear. I am going to talk privately with Julian tomorrow. When you appeared at the wedding and touched him. He went back up to the Defiant and hid in his room balling his eyes out. I thought he was having real troubles with his grief so I had created a custom made Avatar of you. It was programmed in a very special way that read his brainwave pattern and was free to talk to him.  
I heard from Kira that the avatar was so convincing that Kira and Jules thought they were actually talking with you. Kira told me later that she had to hold and comfort him for a long time as he sobbed with raw grief He is happy now. With a new wife and a beautiful child and I know that is all because of you. But, he may want to move on. You need to understand and brace yourself for the chance that he will say no.  
You know I love you. I will risk all I have to make you happy. But he just might say no. If he does, its not that he stopped loving you its because his love for you is so great its too painful to bare. I want you to think about what I have said. Ezri looked back at me. You love me? Meet me at the lagoon. I link up in my secret place and Ezri appeared. She walked up and gave me the longest most passionate kiss I have ever had. All she said was thank you for today. Thank you for loving me. And thank you for taking this big risk for me. I know you are tired but also Thank you for being truthful and honest with me. I woke back up and snuggled back down next to my beautiful T'lana and went to sleep.

T'lana rolls over and kisses me with so much passion. Whispers I can't believe I have a sister. I love you so much. Using my link. I tell her. I 'd do anything for you. I love you. Ezri just might need our love even more than before. There is a real chance that Julian will say no. That he has moved on and doesn't want to reopen old wounds. I just told Ezri. She is deliriously happy to find you. I snuggle up close and whisper in your ear. And so am I. I am really tired now honey so lets get some rest. Tomorrow will be here soon enough.

**The Lost Trill (Secrets) Chap Eighteen / Segment Four.**  
(A Chance to Love Again)  
The next morning came with a cold rain. Looking out at it I silently pray it's not an omen of things to come. After the twins came I made it a point to have at least one night a month away from kids and family drama. Sometimes I could get Trina or Polly to baby-sit with the nanny. Tonight T'lana and I are invited to a quiet family dinner over at the Bashirs new home. Polly and Julian have been working hard putting it all together. The timing couldn't have been better.  
I need some alone time with my wife. With all the construction schedules coming and going, I feel like I'm working harder now than I ever did as High Minister. Jar'don and Lillian came over with their baby and agreed to sit with ours so we can have some fun. Shimmering over to Polly's new home took only a second. But it took me a few minutes to get used to what I saw. It was beautifully decorated. Live flowers in pots inside and huge planters outside.  
The smell of all the flowers was stunningly beautiful. Then I saw Polly walk out the kitchen and she looked so happy. T'Rel has been helping her with all her memories. She seemed much more at ease with herself as she darted around seeing to it we had a place to sit and relax and have a cool drink.

I opened my mind link to her and told her how proud I was that she was so much more at peace. She was setting the table across the room and looked up at me. Her lovely eyes sparkled with genuine happiness and joy. And that big smile just lit up her whole face.  
I asked her, Where is Julian? Polly sat down and said he called just a few minutes ago and said he was running late at work. Sitting down in front of her I hold her hands. No need to be nervous. It's just us. How are you doing? She smiled and said take a look. I placed my hands on the sides of her head and linked up she showed me everything.  
Then the sneaky little thing threw in a sexual image of her and Jules. Blushing, I said in her mind. That's new and different. I pulled back out and she grinned wickedly whispering in my ear she said any time. I blushed and both girls started giggling at me. Polly kissed T'lana passionately. And I blushed again. The girls cracked up.  
Just then Jules shimmered in home. Polly ran over and kissed him welcoming him home. She whispered something in his ear and he blushed. Walking over to T'lana he kissed her cheek and offered me his hand. I said I think we are past that by now don't you. He dropped his hand and hugged me like a long lost brother.  
Backing away He said, It's so good to see you back like yourself again. I really thought we were going to lose you at the hospital. My smile vanished. You did.. Jules, Polly you need to sit down. Kira told you what Ezri did to fix me. He said yes. Well there is more. Ezri left T'lana and changed herself so she could go in and pull me back across when I died.  
Polly began to shake Julian held her. Ezri is inside me. She has been keeping me alive, till my heart can take over. Polly and Jules, looked at me and then at T'lana who was smiling and nodding yes to the both of them. I said hey you two. I'm not dead. In fact soon she will go back inside T'lana and her Dax. Rubbing my hands together. Cheer up. Let's eat. It smells wonderful. Jules stared at me for a long moment. Ezri is here, inside you. I said yes and she sacrificed a part of her immortality to save me. Jules frowned, what do you mean? When a Trill dies, his spirit detaches from the body and travels to the spirit realm. The strongest of spirits choose certain people to live inside so they won't have to cross over. In turn they share all their knowledge and assist the healing of those in need, like you two. Polly said I knew it. When you melded with me I felt that you weren't alone in your mind. That was her? Yes Polly it was. She stayed back not wanting to frighten you. Polly looked at me.

I said no, she doesn't peak at my private mind links. She began to relax. Well let's eat before the food gets cold. Dinner consisted of a homemade Trill version of Vulcan stew. It was magnificent. I raised my glass and toasted the cook for her excellent cooking. Polly just sat there beaming with pride. She said, I got this book and just followed all the directions.  
Jules said are you kidding. She was mixing, cutting, and cooking all day long. I told her I am impressed. Maybe you and T'lana can have a girl's day and get together and play. T'lana looked at Polly and they shared a memory and cracked up. I said what is it? T'lana was red faced with embarrassment. Polly said the last time T'lana tried to cook something she nearly caught the house on fire. T'Lana hid her face in her hands. Jules and I cracked up. All the noise woke up De'van. His cry drew Polly's immediate attention. Instantly she went into mother mode and comforted her baby boy. Cradling him in her arms as she walked over to the table and sat down in her chair. I reached over and held Polly's hand. I said, wow you have changed.  
What a wonderful mother you have become. Jules got up and got his camera and snapped pictures of the baby and us.

With dinner done T'lana volunteered to help Polly wash the dishes while Jules and I went into the living room. Sipping on our coffee I said I have something I need to talk to you about. Jules leaned forward and said I thought so. What can I do for you?  
This is going to be difficult to understand but with my Vulcan and Trill Mind link training I have learned how to build inside my mind a secret place. Polly heard me and came out and sat down. She said you mean the white room? Like me and...Tripp and now Jules have? Very similar but much more complex. It is a place where T'lana and I can go and share each other's feelings.

Nothing is hidden. Not even our bodies. Polly said, you mean you're naked there? I said Yes, and there is more. Jules this will be hard to hear but Ezri can go there and become solid. As if she wasn't dead. Feeling, breathing, eating, every sense restored. Say you and Polly went there and made love. You Jules would feel everything her body feels and Polly you would feel everything his body feels. Now when you are there.

What you do there your body responds to here. So when you orgasm there you will wake up to a mess here. Polly looked at T'lana. She said he did it to me at the hospital. I was so embarrassed when I had to call the nurse to change the sheets. Polly cracked up and hugged her sister. Looking down, I said Jules, he looked at me. I said and now the hard part. Ezri wants to spend time with you there. It's a mental construct of a private beach with its own lagoon.

Jules swallowed hard. Polly was at his side comforting him as he struggled with his emotions. Jules said, I told Polly everything about Ezri and she told me everything about Tripp. I know she loves me differently than Tripp. And she knows the same about Ezri and me. We used to wake each other up with our nightmares and comfort each other till we got back to would we do this? It's a direct mind link. It's very.. Intimate and there is another way as well. It involves you. I can create an avatar in my mind but I will need more information about how he looks and acts. What he likes, and how he does things. Information that only you two would know. I would have to see the times when you two made love. Polly said I showed you. I said not just one time Polly all of them.  
The meld is very invasive. No privacy. And would really shake you up. I told Ezri that Polly is still healing and is not strong enough to endure such a meld. Jules, I know how hard grieving over Ezri has been. Kira told me about after the wedding and at DS9. It is still going to take me a while to get strong enough to do this. So I don't need any decision right now.

You and Polly think about it. And Polly, if this works, There may be enough of Tripp in your mind to reconstruct him for you. Polly took a ragged gasp and said I don't know if I can take that again. It will seem real Polly. Feel real too. I know you two are happy where you are. Ezri and I will respect your decision if you want to move on.  
All she asks is for you to think about it. Oh and Jules, You and T'lana and Polly and me are more than just family. Ezri was the blood sister to T'lana. She has been protecting her ever since she crossed over.

Jules said and now she is protecting you. Yes Jules. Right now she is very scared. She misses you. You can feel her. I hold out my arms. Hug me as you would hug her.  
You can talk to her briefly. I'm still weak so make it quick. Jules looked at Polly, she nodded her head and let go of him and hugged T'lana. Slowly, I closed my eyes and held out my arms and he hugged me tight. He felt her and started to cry. In a raspy voice Ezri just said I love you. Then I went limp and fell back on the sofa. Jules held on to me and guided me down so I wouldn't hit my head.  
T'lana Smiles, and thinks about everything that was said. I never knew that Ezri was my real sister until my mother told me. I was shocked and happy too to learn that our beloved protector was my own sister. Looking at everyone I love you all so much. Jules was scanning me. He is fine just tired. I opened my eyes. I'm ok just need to rest for a little while. Can I have some more of that coffee?  
Jules stared at me. I'm fine Jules.

He said you just dropped a bombshell of information on us and you say you're fine. It may seem like every day's news to you and T'lana but Polly and I have a lot to talk about. The rest of our evening was spent outside in the new hot tub soaking and resting. Our girls teasing us men. Then climbing in our laps and making out with us.  
T'lana Laughs and giggles, Polly we know how to tease our men don't we? Laughs. Polly started to giggle but gasped as her lover gave her what she wanted. We started gasping soon after. Just holding each other.  
Loving the hot water, bubbles and closeness of each other. T'lana Smiles, kissing me so much passion, whispers I love you so much baby. After a moment of peaceful quiet. Jules said, I thought about what Ezri wants and I have to say no. It took me way too long to get to where Polly and I are. I know it sounds selfish. But if I do this then I will be thinking of her and not Polly when we are together. I love you Ezri, I always will but I love Polly and owe her my complete attention and devotion. His voice choked with emotion, the last time I said goodbye I hurt so bad I wanted to die so I could be with you.

I really thought about hurting myself. T'Lana and Polly gasped with shock and sorrow they felt his pain and cried. So Please, Ezri understand. I can't do this anymore. I grabbed my chest. Feeling Ezri's heart break. Julian, she said she understood and wants you happy. She said she wouldn't ask again. T'lana asked are you all right? I linked up with you and said go to her. T'lana stepped through the gate and found Ezri on her knees sobbing with grief. Crying and screaming pounding her fists on the blanket. Polly came over and said what's wrong. I touched her head and sent her inside. She walked through the gate and heard T'Lana trying to comfort Ezri.  
She ran over and held on to the both of them. She screamed with sorrow. Crying so hard Polly couldn't take it. She ran back through the gate and flooded back into her mind.

Sobbing in Julians arms she said. Go to her. Please, she is in a lot of pain. Jules came over.

Before he could say anything I reached out to him and brought him inside. He ran through the gate and down to the edge of the beach. Ezri was sobbing madly. Completely inconsolable. Screaming out her grief broke his heart all over again as he ran down the beach to her.  
Gasping for air Ezri heard him holler her name. Breaking away from T'lana she ran full force into his arms. Hugging and kissing him. She cried out over and over You came-You came. He knelt down with her in his arms. T'lana knew this needed to be between them so she ran back through the gate. Back in the real world she went over to Polly and they both sobbed from the pain they felt. Polly kissed T'lana passionately and held her tight while they both stopped shaking.  
Ezri kissed and held him. They made mad passionate love feeling each other one last time. Pulling back quickly, she said I have to go. Any longer, will kill Jar'an.

Hurry! It's his heart. Julian got up and ran back through the gate and was back in his body when I collapsed. Julian and the girls pulled me out of the hot tub and folded a towel to cushion my head. Scanning me His heart is racing. He gave me a shot and I started to settle back down. Polly said I didn't understand. I never felt raw grief like that. Jules said I have. Now you know Polly. If anything ever happened to you, That's what I will feel. But that's what poor Ezri feels right now too. He was going to tell her but Polly interrupted him. I love you. Nothing will change that. Anything you two share is between you two. Jules kissed Polly so passionately.

T'lana Kisses me with so much passion, How do you feel now baby? I said, I'm sorry everybody. I feel better just a little dizzy. T'lana Holds you tight rocking you and I kiss your forehead. It's ok baby. Don't do that again for awhile please. I said, Yes.. Yes I'm better. Let's sit in the patio lounge chairs. This concrete is a little hard on my butt.  
Looking at the doctor. I'm sorry Jules. I know that hurt. That's what my mind did when I went insane. I was all broken inside. Looking inside myself. Ezri is hiding. She is so embarrassed.  
Jules looked into my eyes. Ezri, I know you can hear me. He leaned close so only I could hear. I still love you too. I can see her sitting in a corner all balled up. She said tell Polly I'm sorry. T'lana Sits down and closes her eyes and listens to Ezri and mom talk in my head.  
Polly brought us some hot chocolate to sip on. MMMMM, That's' good thank you. Polly sat down. I'm sorry too. I too know that pain. I know Jules loves me and I love him. I love you too, Ezri. I will share him with you if it helps. Ezri, looked up in my mind crying big tears, she began to glow.  
My hand glowed as I reached up and touched Polly's face, filling her with the warmth of Ezri's love. Then, Ezri layed down and went to sleep. T'lana said, I love you and our family so much. I said, So much for a normal life.. Everybody cracked up. **After we stopped laughing. I look back inside my mind. I said, Ezri came back out of hiding. She is still scared. She says she never felt that before. Here I feel everything. I haven't been able to do that for longer than I can remember. When I crossed over, Yanas came for me. She guided and protected me till I was stronger. The emotions are so real. I tell her that's because they are my emotions being shared with you to allow you to have the joy you have missed for so very long. Unfortunately, You will feel the sorrows and pain just as strongly as the Joy. I did try to warn you. Please, rest now. Sleep so I can regain my strength. Jules asked, Who is Yanas? T'lana said our mother.**

**She came to me first. After she died, I thought my grief was playing tricks on my mind, so I never listened to her voice in my head and went out and did many things I regret. Looking over at Polly, You are awfully quiet. Polly said I don't know what to say. She has done so much for all of us and never asked for anything in return. Polly looked over at Jullian. There was a night, just after Tripp died. I woke up from a sound sleep and broke down just like that. I was so loud and slinging my arms so wildly, I must have hit the com switch and Dr. Flox, The ships medical physician heard me and came to my quarters. He gave me a powerful sedative but it didn't work. He just locked my door and held me saying nothing.**

**He allowed me to cry and scream out my grief and pain. He promised he would tell no one. I was shaking so badly. Looking back at Jules, and me with tears in her eyes. You were right Jar'an, That first day in the office. When you love. It's forever. Ezri has so much love in her heart. I felt that. Even after death you carry that love with you. Ezri says, I'm sorry Polly. Polly looked in my eyes and said never be sorry for being in love. We will work through this. I love you too Ezri. Hugging me, she said, I will always love you Jar'an. Jules, This man saved my sanity, my heart, my soul and my life. He re-taught me how to love again. He can feel me inside in a way no other can. He took me in and without any judgment, loved me for who I was then and for who I am today. Jules smiled and he brought us two together.**

**Looking into my eyes he said Ezri, I never stopped loving you. And I never will. You and Jar'an need to rest. It's been a long day for all of us. I said, Family is everything. But without Love, family is not possible. If we have no love inside us, we are just creatures walking around not knowing we are dead inside. I think we need to get dressed and get back. Jules, Polly thanks to you both for a wonderful meal. We all got dressed and gathered together to say our good byes. Polly hugged me. I kissed her and whispered in her ear. I am so proud of you for being so strong. Jules, I took a deep breath, what a night. I hugged him and simply said any time you want. He knew what I was talking about and said thank you. We stepped up on the transport pad and shimmered away.**

**Arriving back at home I greeted Jar'don. Hey i see the kids are all asleep. Let's sit down at the patio table and talk for a minute. T'lana asked, dad how are you? She hugs her father and sits gown and relaxes. Sipping on our coffee. I said Jar'don, you have done so much for T'lana and me. I want to offer you a gift. You know about my gift of seeing inside people, well tomorrow, I will be rested and strong enough to show you a place in my mind that I have constructed for T'lana and me to go and relax. Jar'don looked a little edgy, but said ok. Well I have heard from someone who wants to see you there. T'lana said, Daddy you will love this place we all do. It's wonderful. Jar'don, I can contact Yanas thru T'lana and she wants to see you there. Liliana said that's his first wife. She stayed? She didn't cross over? No she and her other daughter Ezri stayed and have been helping Jar'don protect T'lana. Jar'don thought for a moment.**

**Jardon stared at his coffee cup turning it around and around. I could tell he is in a serious mood. Jar'an, I thank you for the gift. Please tell Yanas, We said our good-byes a long time ago. I sat back. You are mad. Why? T'lana asked, Daddy what's wrong? We thought you would be pleased to see mom and Ezri again. Jar'don thought for a moment. T'lana, we did our best to hide this from you but your mother and I were having problems. I was seriously thinking of a divorce when she started getting sick. Your brothers and I argued over the issue of finding Ezri. They took off looking for her. I was hurt when I found out about her and about Yanas lying to me to cover it up. Honey she was so sick there at the end, I just couldn't just leave her.**

**Then there was you and Polly. It was all I could do to have enough money to raise you. Your mother had everything locked up till you came of age. Then the whole mess with Polly and the Vulcans. It was just one thing after another. No Jar'an, Tell Yanas I said no. She will know why.**

**Crying , T'lana said, I understand dad. She gets up and goes to our room and cries like a little baby. Thinks to herself, mom why didn't you just tell father the truth and everything would has have been ok. Jar'don knew I was angry. I said nothing till T'lana left. Then I let into him. Yanas had no choice. She got pregnant when she was a child. Her parents sent her away to have it and forced her to give it up. I**

**know it was a long time ago, but i would think that all the years of Yanas and Ezri staying with her and protecting her would have been enough of an apology. I know it hurt you that she loved another man. How do you think Liliana here feels, knowing you loved another woman. Even living here with that woman's daughter. I know you to be a good man Jar'don. I love you and liliana. But right now I am disappointed in you for being so short sited. Ezri never knew you while she was alive. I think if she had met you she would have loved you wither you deserved it or not.**

**I'm going to bed now. And comfort my wife who is probably crying herself to sleep. Good night folks. Thanks for babysitting for us. Jar'don I will see you tomorrow. Good night Lilianna. They put their baby in the stroller and walked silently home. **

**Ezri touched my heart and filled it with the warmth of her love. She said, I heard everything. Now I know you love me. Nobody ever defended me like that. Thank you, and yes I do like him. I put my hand on my chest and hugged her. Good Night Ezri. You come into our room and see me crying into my pillow and holding my head trying to console mom. I'm sorry Yanas, I guess some old wounds never really healed.**

**T'lana, It was a long time ago and I could tell from Yanas that their was plenty of blame to go around. Your dad has his faults. I told him the rest of Yanas story. And he has allot to think about tonight. I think Liliana was a little disappointed in him as well. Yanas said to me in my link Thank you for saying what you did. I made a mistake. I was hoping time had healed the old wounds.**

**We argued allot about the kids. I wanted to send them off to a boarding school so they could get a good education. He wanted to keep them close. I didn't want them to see me die. T'lana Lays there and listens with tears running down her face, mom we know you did everything you could for us and we are grateful. Remember mom I love you so much.**

**Gently wiping the tears from your face. I looked deep in T'lanas eyes. Yanas, I will always love you and both your daughters. Who knows. Maybe bringing all this out in the open will make things better. I know it hurts. Come to the Lagoon. I touched T'lana's head and we layed down on the bed. They're on the beach. I said Yanas, Ezri Please come here. Yanas appeared first.**

**Before she could say anything, I hugged and kissed her passionately and held her for a long time rubbing her back as she cried. Ezri came out of hiding and ran over to T'lana who hugged and kissed her holding her tight for a long time. I just held Yanas rocking her as she settled down. And gently set her down on the blanket. Ezri came over and hugged me tight too and we all sat down. Yanas said you feel so good right now. I know you are tired she glowed and kissed me again. I could feel her give me some of her power. T'lana said, I hope by all this comes out that dad will see we are all family. And to forgive you, mom. We all made mistakes in our live's. I said, Let's wash off this day and go for a moonlight swim.**

**T'lana said, Mommy, Ezri, we love you so much. That sounds good baby. We all got up and ran into the lagoons warm water. Oh it felt so good. I stood their neck deep in the water resting while T'lana and Ezri played and laughed. Yanas swam over and stood beside me. This is so great seeing them two together laughing and playing. Thank you for this. She kissed me and started teasing my manhood. T'lana said Hey! That's my man there. Giggling Yanas said just playing. I kissed her again and said just like your daughter. She laughed and swam back over to the girls.**

**T'lana says, alright, mom behave. This is my husband. Something is wrong. Everything fades back to the real world leaving everyone else in the link. T'lana Lays on the bed sleeping. Feeling so tired and relaxed. I can hear mom calling me in my saying or moving, tries to link back in and cant. I pull back out to make sure T'lana is ok She is almost out of energy and so am I .**

**I sent a short link to them both to rest so we can play more Tomorrow. Then holding T'lana in my arms I drifted off to sleep. T'lana moves my arms around hers to feel safe. Tries to link to say good night to them both and for a second I was able to say good night and I love you both so much. And leaves again cuddleing in my husband's arms.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Nineteen / SegmentOne.**

**(Kira's Visit at Home)**

**The rest of the day was spent cleaning the house and the kids. With babies, sometimes it's a tossup which is messier. I got me a large towel so I wont have another experience Pealing a nice shirt off my back.I was feeding Jar'el when we got a visitor. Knocking at our door was Kira and her baby. Odo was returning for the second time to the collective and restore their disease cure. Opening the door I said Hi honey, come on in. Everything ready at the home? Kira said the house is wonderful. Its just empty without my Odo. I do all I can staying busy but at night. I just get that feeling I'm being watched. Well Kira, You are being watched. I have the guards patrol the beach and hills that surround your home to keep you safe.**

**I'm sorry to bother you. I'll go back. Kira, come in and relax. Put the baby in the play pin and come have some coffee. I could use some help folding the baby clothes. I can wash them ok, but that folding just gets me. Kira asked where are your servants? I said, One day a week we give them the day off and let them rest and go have some fun. Opening my mind link. I told her I see you got that cute figure back again. Kira blushed. Then T'lana walked in from vacuuming the living room. She sprinted over and said hi Kira.**

**Giving Kira a big hug, come in and sit down here in the kitchen. Lets stop for a while and have some coffee and Ice-cream. I need some fuel. Kira snickered, Look at you little miss homemaker. T'lana gets the bowls and cups for coffee and sits it down on the table, Kiss my baby and Kira on the cheek. T'lana tries to do too much sometimes. I want to do more but my doctor jackhammered his finger in my chest the last time I over did it. So, I'm limited to light work. We do what we can so the servants won't return to a huge mess. So tell me about your new home. Did you decorate it like the Bashiers did?**

**T'lana We would love to see how you fixed your home Kira. Kira said, Please let me clean up first. I asked, You want me to send a couple security guys over to help? Kira said, Not right now. I'm still receiving my personal items from DS9. I get an invite by the vedic nearly every week. She wants me to come back. I don't want any part of that. I said you know we were supposed to have that talk. Kira said I know Truth is I have been avoiding it.**

**I just want all the unpleasantness to just go away. Speaking openly, And with all your friends gone from DS9 it seems like another empty home. Jar'an Tigan Kira took a sip of her coffee and stared at me. She said your doing that creepy thing again. T'lana Looks at you both and laughs, Placing our girls in the playpen. I said, Well, I know its creepy, but its correct. I know something of what you are going through. I was creeped out, jumping at shadows for months. No body blames you for not going back to where it all happened.**

**Hell, I wouldn't go back there. You think maybe since Odo is absent you are looking at another empty home and its creeping you out? Kira leaned back in her chair. You sound more and more like Ezri every day. I looked at T'lana. She nodded at me. Kira saw the mental exchange and said what is it? Taking a deep breath. Kira, you saw what Ezri did for me. Well she changed from Blue to green to be able to help heal me. She flashed bright red to hide the fact that she went inside me. I held Kira's hand. Seconds before Ezri touched me, I died and was crossing over. She went inside and pulled me back and saved my life. Kira started shaking. Its ok honey, I'm not dead. and don't plan on it for a very long time.**

**T'lana Dax-Tigan laughs, Its ok Kira we are all happy and alive and well. Giggles,Kira you are welcomed to stay here with us until Odo comes home. I added, T'lana is right. You should stay here. I know you feel safe here. We can go back to your home tomorrow during the day and get some things you and the baby need. T'lana can use the company and help around here. T'lana Smiles really big, I would love having my sister and best friend here.**

**Kira said first, I thank you for opening up your home to Leo and me. But all this about Ezri is a little too much to comprehend. Kira, there is more. T'lana has her mothers spirit her name is Yanas. I have her sister's spirit Ezri. She was her blood sister. Yanas was the mother to both of them. T'lana said, It's all true Kira, My mother left me the other night and I almost died and everyone had to fight to bring me back. It's ok we are all all right. We both have an enzyme balance problem but Jules is monitoring that. Kira shook her head. So much for that normal family you two wanted.**

**T'lana Smiles, We have the greatest family. Leanings down I kiss Kira on her forehead. And you my lady are family too. Laughing, I feels good having you here. T'lana started Laughing Kira looked at both of us. And just shook her head snickering. Staring at my chest and Ezri is in there keeping you alive? I open my shirt. Put your hand here. You can feel her. She is smiling. She loves you. Kira gently put her hand on my chest.**

**Now, I said, close your eyes and use the link. She can come and talk to you. Ezri said Hi. I've missed you. I love you Kira. Things will get even better than they are now. It just takes time. I need to go back now and let Jar'an rest. Love you .Bye.. T'lana asks, Honey and Kira you guys ok? Kira sat back. I looked down at my coffee. You miss her don't you. Miss her touch. Her presence. I can use my link powers and bring you inside to see her. But the last time severely strained my heart so I have to wait a couple of months before doing it again.**

**T'lana said, Baby not this time must wait to do that again. You remember how mad doctor got. Kira said You would do that for me? I opened up a private link T'lana can't hear. Kira, I still love you. I would die for you. Kira came over and hugged me. Wiping tears, she said you are one special guy.**

**T'lana gets upset, Screams .MOM what's wrong ?Can you hear me mommy ? T'lana sit down. What is wrong? Scanning her. Yanas what are you doing? Yanas said, Oh lord, forgive me I was talking to T'lana and I stopped in a middle of a sentence. Baby I am sorry did not mean to scare you. Calm down honey. Yanas said she would stay. Here its time for your shot. Scanning and downloading the medical data. I adjust the hypo and give her the shot. Scanning myself I adjusted the hypo and handed it to Kira. Would you please? I hate this part. Kira gave me the shot. And got another round of coffee.**

**T'lana scolded Yanas, Mom please warn me if you are going to stop talking, You scared me. T'lana said, Honey I hate these shots. They make me feel a little sick before they make me better. Looking at Kira. Ah the family life for me. Snickering. Ok lets get back to work. Kira the guestroom is yours. Kira looked at Leo. He's asleep. I will help you fold for a while. Using her link she said I feel safe around you. Safer here than anywhere else. T'lana Relaxes and keeps talking to mom and listens to Kira and Jar'an talk**

**I started, Kira, You will have to face what happened. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done. I am here for you. But you used to be the strongest woman I ever knew. I know he took your self-assurance. I know he hurt you. It's all right to feel weak. Snickering I still remember what you did to that guy. You layed him out almost cold and kicked him in the nuts so hard I thought he was going to bleed all over the floor. That got Kira to snickering. God's that felt so good.**

**T'lana said, We are all safe and sound here and well protected. Kira you will always be loved and looked after here. I gave Kira a hug. Yes, always protected and cared for. We are family now. By the way has Leo gotten used to Odo yet? Kira laughed, Poor Odo is trying so hard. Leo calls him father. I think he still calls you daddy. I have told him not to do that in front of Odo. It might hurt his feelings. Suddenly, Kira's face changed she dropped what she was doing and went over to Leo. He hardly made a sound. I said wow mamma's got super hearing.**

**She picked him up and sat down in the chair and unbuttoned her shirt and began to breast feed little Leo. She looked up at me. **

**Her eyes were so full of love. I just had to say how beautiful you looked. T'lana walked over to my side and agreed with me. T'lana said guess what? I just finished feeding the girls and now Jar'el is next. You can burp them and change them. Lol I frowned, Awww Thanks soooo much.. Kira laughed. I ask, where is my big towel?. Ah there it is covering my whole back and shoulder Kira snickered. Looks like you learned super daddy. Turning around to look at Kira, Oh yes we had a real fun time pealing a soaked shirt off my back. The girls were laughing so hard they just smeared it into the fabric. I had to wash that shirt twice to get it cleaned. T'lana was Laughing so hard, But it was fun cleaning up Jar'an, Smiles we love you baby.**

**Kira cracked up. It was so good to see her smiling and happy. How are you and Odo and the whole sex thing? Kira said boy you sure are direct. Kira.. We all know what we do and we all have seen each other naked a time or two, or three, or four. Kira shouted in her mind link Jar'an Shut up.! Laughing I said ok-ok. Well I was just concerned because of what happened to you. Are you still having those dreams? Kira said, Not as often thanks to you and T'rel. I said I'm glad. We can help you to forget. But we can't make you forget. That will take allot of time. I remember how frightened you were and when you slept in bed with us just to feel safe. You have come a long way lady. And now you're a glorious hot mamma to boot.**

**T'lana said, Kira, you can always talk to us you know that. You are family and we are here for you. Mom stop, I will tell her. Mom says you are here daughter now too. T'lana Sits back and closes my eyes, Mom go ahead and talk. Children can you hear me? Yanas said, Kira child, You are now and forever more my daughter. You will always be in our lives and safe. I love you child. I have to go now but remember what I said baby. BYE Now Kira was a little shocked at T'lala's voice changing when Yanas spoke. But said thank you Yanas.**

**I said, Well if Yanas takes you in your a Tigan for sure. But all kidding aside Yanas is right. Whither in our home, at our table, or in our hearts, their will always be a place for you. I asked, Could I hold leo? Kira said of course. Handing me the baby. I held him and played offering my finger. Leo chimed in our mind link, said Hi daddy. Funnyman father. Kira said Leo don't say that. **

**You will hurt father's feelings. Leo said yes mommy. T'lana said, Leo, remember who your daddy is and it is Odo. We all love you so much.I said, I'm sorry T'lana I don't think Leo is going to change He is biologically linked to me. Father is still a respectful name though. What matters for now is that baby and mommy is healthy and happy.T'lana said, I know honey, but Odo loves him dearly. Placing Leo in the play pin with our children. Hey look they are playing together. T'lana smiles that is so good to see. I love them all so much. I can feel something is wrong. Kira, Does Odo have any upset at the situation at hand? Kira said No, really, He is trying real hard its just a big adjustment for all of us.**

**Hands on my hips, Kira... Do I need to get creepy on you again? You know, I know you. You know we all here love you. He is starting to get frustrated isn't he? Kira started to shake and cry. I rushed over and held her. She exploded sobbing on my shirt. We had a big fight and he went back a few days early. I don't know if he is going to come back. T'lana said, Odo will be back Kira. Why where you too fighting? Kira looked at T'lana and then back at me. I love him so much. I want him but every time we... start.. I get all cold and stiff I am trying, but it's so hard. I said, I will go talk to him. Kira said Oh No! We argued about you too. He thinks I still have feelings for you. Taking a few steps back, Kira, I am married. That can't happen. You know this.**

**Kira snarled back. Of course I know that. He brought it up and we argued. T'lana sat down on the sofa next to Kira. I know you still love my husband but you and Odo are wonderful together. Everyone fights in his or her relationships. I added, Even T'lana and I fight. She wins but we still fight.. Kira and T'lana cracked up. Kira wiped her eyes. Gods I needed that. T'lana said, No, he thinks I win in the bed. Making up is a fun part. I raised my finger to make a point but said nothing. After a second I dropped my hand and said I can't argue that point..**

**T'lana Laughs.**

**I give up. Im going to get us some coffee. Kira and T'lana cracked up.. Kira hollered out at me in the kitchen she sure got you whipped.. I walked back out with the coffee and passed them out. I said Yes. You're right. I am whipped. And I have never been happier.**

**Sipping on my coffee. Honey, You need to go back to DS9. To face what happened to you. It's the only way you are going to be able to destroy its hold on your life. T'lana said, Kira we all have had bad things happen to us. We must face our problems and make them go away. Holding her hands, and looking into those big beautiful eyes, Kira I will go with you. I will walk with you every step of the way. Me, T'lana and T'rel can only get you strong enough to do this. Admiral Cartright had the place sealed. Only your personal effects were taken.**

**T'lana said, Mom, what is it. Let me say something to me daughter Kira Yanas, I heard you please speak. Your daughter Kira needs your said, Kira honey, It's me your mom. Can you hear me baby? Your father and I fought all the time but it didn't mean I did not still love him and still do. Baby face your fears we will all be here for you. I am here in T'lana and will listen and guide you all I can to help. I love you.**

**I added, You see Kira? You're never going to be alone again. Yanas finished, I must go now children., T'lana cant be tired out. Just remember i love you all so much. Kira said Thank you Yanas. Then she stood up and walked over to me and hugged me tightly. I know you are right. I just don't know if I am ready. Ezri linked to Kira. With big tears in her eyes Ezri said, I love you. I will never let anyone hurt you again. Jar'an loves you too.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty / Segment One.**

**(Making Plans)**

**While the girls are yacking in the kitchen, I excused myself and went into my office and placed a call out to Jake at the Elondra. Jake comes on screen. Hello Captain, how's business? Doing good but we can do better. I said I like your attitude. Jake, you heard about Kira right? Jake got real serious. What is wrong? What happened? I raised my hand. Relax she is all right. But the time has come for her to go back to DS9 and face her demons. Id like to take the family over but my runabout is not big enough to provide for the security personnel we would need to bring. You didn't gut out deck eight of the saucer section yet have you?**

**Jake said no. We put that off for now to concentrate on generating more business. Jake, Can I borrow the Elondra for a few days? Jake said I have a small run I can take to Bajor. I can be there in two days. Thanks Jake, I appreciate this favor. You of course will retain command. We will be just passengers. I said see you in two days. Thanks buddy. Sending Text message to Admiral Cartright at DS9. Will be arriving with Ambassador Kira Naresse in 4 days. Will be arriving on Elondra. Please make everything ready. She is stronger. But will need all the love and encouragement she can get. Also, Convey my appreciation to Quark for what he did. Tell him I will pay him back discreetly.**

**Walking back in to the kitchen to join the girls. I said guess what. We are going on a trip. You, me, Kira, Jar'don, babies and all. T'lana asked, where are we all going to? Jake is picking us up and we are going to DS9 and Bajor. It seems that your career in Star fleet is being held for you so now you have to file papers and sign documents at DS9 to completely transfer over to your job here as ambassador. T'lana, Admiral Cartright wants to show off his baby. Kira, stop looking at me like that. You know it's time. You can do this. You have to do this or you will lose Odo. You know this. We will be under heavy guard at all times. The nanny will be watching the children and they will stay on ship under heavy guard.**

**T'lana please call your dad and tell him to plan for our trip. Kira was awfully silent for a long time. I opened up my private mind link to Kira. Do you believe I love you? Kira said in her mind. How dare you push me like this? I dare Kira because of my love for you. Have you any idea how it hurts me inside when I see you crying? When I hold you as you sob in my chest? How much I want to kiss your pain away? I walk a fine line every day between life and death. But I would gladly die to protect you. Hell, I almost did just to avenge you. I know when you are with Odo your soul soars. I made you happy but I never did that.**

**Odo and you are meant to be together. Feel me. Feel my heart. Feel my love. I do love you and I always will. So trust me. I will be there every step of the way. Just you and me. You thought you weren't loved at DS9. Nothing could be farther from the truth.**

**Trust me. I never lied to you. It will be hard. It will hurt but nothing of any lasting value has ever come easy for people like us. Right now. Don't think about it. Just think about Odo. How he makes you laugh. How he makes you feel like a total woman when you two make love. How funny he is with Leo. Snif-snif, Speaking of Leo I think he needs a change. Kira said OOPS! Yea he's ready for a change all right Pew! boy. As she changes Leo, Man what a mess! I said yea kind like a mix of atomic waste and super glue. Kira cracked up. I never heard that before. T'lana walked up and said you should have seen him the first time he had to change a diaper. He was puking his guts out nearly every other time he had to change the babies. Kira almost fell out laughing.**

**I hugged T'lana. Saying thanks allot girls. By the way T'lana you can change Jar'el. I wouldn't want to puke on our first born son. Besides the doctor did say Light duty and that boy weighs a ton. Walking away snickering. T'lana stomps her foot, Hey that's not fair! I change diapers so much I got poop in my dreams. Kira could barely catch her breath from all the laughing. She finally got out Well that's the joys of motherhood. Dreams of poop. T'lana cracked up and the girls conspired to get even with me. Kira walked over to me with the stinky diaper and shoved it in my face asking where do I put this? I immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up. Both girls fell out laughing.**

**Coming out of the bathroom wiping my face with a wet washcloth. T'lana asked are you all right honey? you look a little green. Kind of like that poop you got a whiff of.. Thanks allot ladies. I opened up a private link to Kira. I'm going to get even with you for that one. Kira looked up at me. She said you wouldn't dare. I slipped inside her body and tickled her bladder from the inside along with some other things. She jumped up and ran to the bathroom yelling Not Fair-Not Fair. She was barely able to get her panties down and sit down in time and she let go from both ends. T'lana smacked my arm. Stop that you dirty old man. Hey whom are you calling dirty? I took a bath. Besides you two started it with the poop.**

**T'lana Laughs, Poor Kira you made her have to go to the bathroom. laughing, T'lana Goes to the bathroom door and asks Kira if she was alright? She says yes I am ok, But your husband is in allot of trouble. We all just crack up laughing. I'll make it up to her. Kira almost stood up and something else got stimulated. Gasping she vibrated and had an orgasm. She is going to be there for a while. What do you want for dinner? T'lana just stared angrily at me. I looked at T'lana. Don't get cross with me young lady. You're next. T'lana said, you wouldn't dare. I released Kira and went inside T'lana and tickled her bladder. She ran into the bedroom bathroom. Yelling you are so going to get it for this. T'lana didn't make it and her clothes got a little soiled. As she exploded from both ends.**

**T'lana hollered Oh shit! Thanks allot. Now I have to take a shower. You are in so much trouble honey, laughs oh god. You are going to get it baby. I released T'Lana and gave Kira another so she would feel better. Then I started in on T'lana. She gasped and hollered out Jaran! And gasped again. Kira finally got cleaned up. And stumbled out of the bathroom. She said you can do that with your mind? I said all that and more. I stole a long passionate kiss. Kira was so red faced with embarrassment. I asked feel better? Kira said you don't play fair. I thought you liked my play. Kira said, Not that you ninny. She blushed. T'lana came out wearing her robe and nothing else. Pointing at me she said not fair-not fair. I said, hey you two started it with the poop. You feel better? She walked sexily over and kissed me very passionately.**

**You know I do. Kissing her, I pulled back and said how about a pepperoni pizza for dinner? T'lana said extra cheese? I said Of course. Kira stared at us and just shook her head. T'lana said, Wow that sounds great, Kira what's wrong? Kira said nothing. I just miss my husband. T'lana said, He will be home soon, and everything will be ok. I said How about we eat dinner out on the patio and then take a long soak in the hot tub?**

**Both girls sat down gently as they were a little sore from the stimulation. Dinner was so good. Laughing at each other as we dripped melted cheese everywhere. T'lana dripped some down on her beasts and I licked it all up while the girls cackled and crowed at me. T'lana said,Omg, that was awesome and so much fun, I love you so much Jar'an. Kira sister, we both love you too so too.. Laughing. Kira felt a little left out so I scooped her up and rasberryed her belly while she kicked and squealed with glee. Then I dropped her in the pool. T'lana dove in splashing us mercilessly. Then the next thing I knew here comes Polly jumping in. Her husband had to work late at the hospital so she decided to come by and join in on the fun.**

**T'lana Plays, Omg laughs, splashes everyone and dunks my hubby and swims away laughing. She gave me a big kiss and swam over to T'lana. They embraced and got all tangled in each other kissing so very passionately. Kira came over not sure what to say. I helped her out of her wet clothes while explaining they grew up as lovers and need each other from time to time. Kira reached down and teased me. What you did to me from the inside that was incredible. Looking over at Polly and T'lana, I remember when Ezri kissed me like that.**

**I linked with her Ezri came out and said I remember too. I brought her inside to the lagoon and they both kissed and held each other for a long time. Then Kira was back in her body. She held on to me saying thank you for that. Kira teased me some more. T'lana said, Mom wants to talk, Kira children be careful please. I wish I could be there to have fun. Talk again soon children. Yes, Kira, I need to sit down and rest. Taking you inside to the lagoon is stressful to my heart so I can't do it for a while.**

**Kira, yes? Whispering in her ear. Can I have my manhood back now. OH My GOD! I'm so sorry, Kira got so red faced with embarrassment. I miss my husband. She let go and I turned to face her. I reached down and teased her and made her gasp. I missed your touch. Swimming back wards toward T'lana, I said but, I love my wife. Her and Polly had changed places and when I turned to kiss T'lana, Polly landed a deep wet one on me.**

**T'lana laughs, Hey Polly that's my man, Hands off please and lips off too. And Kira leave my hubbys balls alone please. Thank you gezz lol T'lana cracked up at my surprise. I dunked Polly saying you sneaky little minks. I kissed T'lana she climbed in my lap feeling my readiness she knew she was going to get a surprise tonight. Polly swam over to Kira and they laughed and talked.**

**Snuggeling up to T'lana, I said, Hey now. I don't say anything when you and Polly kiss. Kira is just lonely. T'lana is Laughing so hard, I love my family. And I love my wife. Next thing we knew Polly was kissing Kira. They got all hugged up and passionate. I looked at T'lana. And said let them have they're fun. T'lana said, wow come with me sexy hubby. I asked, Oh where do you want to go? T'lana takes my hand we climb out of the pool and go inside. Goes into the bedroom and shuts the door. I just stand there acting all-dumb. Saying Oh is they're something you want my lady?**

**T'lana Giggles, hell yes there is something I want. I asked, Oh and what would that be? T'lana said, You and me in our bed making passionate love. I scooped you up and tossed you on the bed saying you first then I dove in and went mad kissing and licking and loving every inch of your body. I heard the transporter chime. I got up and hollered out the door. Jullian is on his way over you two. Then all I heard was Kira saying Oh shit and waters splashing. Closing the door again, I went back to my husbandry duties. I figured Jules would check on Polly first but just as I was really getting started Jules knocked on the door. T'lana covers up and says damn it.**

**I licked my finger and tickled you marking where I left off. I got up and opened the door. Jules said I think you forgot something. Looking down I said damn and grabbed the cover to the bed and covered myself while sitting back down on the bed. T'lana was already covered up with her face red. Jules squeezed it for all it was worth. T'lana covers up again, being so embarrassed. Jules said, I got an alarm at the hospital showing the enzyme sensor had gone off. Scanning. Jules walked out to the back door Polly you and Kira can come out of hiding. Polly next time you kiss somebody please delink from your husband. As for you too you ought to be ashamed of yourself starting a party without me. Come here T'lana Your Enzyme count is high. Yours Jar'an, for some reason is normal. T'lana asked, Why would mine be high Jules? Polly and Kira came straggling inside looking so red faced with embarrassment. Jules bled it for all its worth. Finally after giving the two of them a long stern look. He just stood there and cracked up.**

**Kira sat down. I'm so confused. I put on a robe and walked over and handed her a warm cup of coffee. Did you have fun? She said yes. Did you feel scared? She said No. Jules loves Polly. He knows that Polly was only just playing. Kira shook her head. I bent down and said on my island nobody is judged for showing his or her love for each other. Then I kissed her and told her to relax. Jules scanned her and said she seems a little better. I told Jules. One day at a time. We are going to DS9 and Bajor in three days. Do you and Polly want to come with us?**

**Jules says he can't his schedule is going to be full for the next week. He went back to re scan T'lana. Yep back to normal. Your mother and sister are going to have to stay quiet and help build your energy back up. Once it drops your Enzyme levels skyrocket. T'lana said, I see Jules, thank you. Honey we never used up our energy reserves like this before. No one could have known what would happen. At least we can adjust and get better.**

**T'lana said, Its hard when mom wants to talk and Ezri too. We both need to learn to control more. It's partly my fault. Showing them a new way of communicating and using the lagoon area to see there lost loves. For a while, we are just going to have to just do as little as possible. T'lana said, Sorry mom no more coming out to talk for awhile.**

**Placing my hand on my chest to hug Ezri, I said, Ezri, You too. We both know you want to help but we can't regain our energy if you keep popping in and out.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty One / Segment One.**

**(Kira's Visit to DS9)**

**Getting ready for what will be a hard day, I sit T'lana down in our quarters, for a real personal chat. Honey, I need to tell you it would be very good for you to stay on board and with the children under heavy guard. Kira and I have to do this you do not. It will be very hard and painfull for Kira. Honey, please listen. Kira is going to grieve for her child, like never before. You will feel her sorrow and it will be the worst feeling ever.**

**I called ahead and certain arraignments were made to help her through this but. Loosing a child is the worst pain any parent can endure. T'lana listened and considered what I said. She looked at me. And asked, do you believe I love you? I said yes. Does Kira believe I love her? I said I don't know but I think so. T'lana said after today she will know. My place is with my husband and my sister whom I love.**

**If there is pain and sorrow I will endure it. I am here for you and her. I kissed her so passionately. I am so proud of you. Brace yourself, It will not all be bad but when it gets bad It will be gut wrenchingly horrible. She has to work through it. She might just cry. She might be like Ezri was the night she was grieving. Yanas, Please no talking. Just please keep T'lana strong and safe, Ok? Placing yours and my hands on my chest. Ezri this will be very hard to both see and hear. But please no talking. Just keep me strong so we can be with Kira and help her through this.**

**The communicator beeped. I hit the button Jar'an here, what is it Jake. Jake said we just dropped out of warp and is approaching DS9. You need to see this. And bring Kira. She is not answering her coms. I went to Kira's door and she said enter. I looked concerned but didn't have to be. Kira said I know I heard the com but I was in the shower. I just got dressed. I love this fabric. Its is so soft and fits like a glove. The cape robe looks like over kill though. I said That's ok you look stunning. Kira blushed. She walked over and asked are you sure I really need to do this.**

**I looked deep in Kira's eyes. Kira, Its time. You need this for both you and Odo. I will hold your hand and walk you through it. See, T'lana is here with you as well. We love you and will not leave you alone. We are needed on the bridge so bring Leo to the day care and let's go. After dropping Leo off Kira noticed security was doubled. She asked are you expecting trouble? I said no, I'm not going to allow any trouble. I want us focused on the task at hand and not worrying about our children.**

**Up on the bridge view screen we were greeted with a massive amount of ships. Jake said have you ever seen the like of it? Look there is the enterprise just out of dry-dock all shiny and new. And over there that's a new ship. Its called, USS Titan. **

**I said that's Captain Riker's new ship. Looking at Kira, He heard about you and had to come. So did Captain Picard. They said they can't stay long but wanted to show their support and say hi. Kira started to cry. So much love from all my friends. I don't know if I can do this. I glanced over at T'lana and she nodded her head. I took Kira's hand. Yes you can. You are the bravest, strongest person I know. We docked in the upper pylon Number-6 Next to Enterprise.**

**We grouped up with a small security detachment in the air lock. Admiral Cartright met us inside the airlock. He hugged Kira. It's so good to see you again. I missed you. As we stepped through the opening the admiral-hollered, attention on deck Ambassador Kira has arrived. The ships whistle sounded and heals strikes echoed all down the hallway. I knew it was going to be hard but what we saw took away all our abilities to speak.**

**Lining the walls on both sides DS9 crew and visitors from Bajor were standing at attention each holding a single flower. (The Trill symbol for love and acceptance). We walked without words. Kira was crushing my hand trying to hold back the flood of emotion. As our group exited each flower holder fell in line behind us. We rode the open lift down to the promenade. Looking down the line of people seems to have no end. Each, standing at attention as the lift stopped.**

**Kira asked where are we going? The Admiral said you would see. You have a few friends waiting to see you in the chapel. We arrived at the chapel doors. The admiral stepped forward and knocked saying Ambassador Kira has arrived. The doors opened and as we walked in Captain Picard played his Inner Light song on his flute. Kira burst out in tears. All her friends were they're welcoming her back. Each had a single flower.**

**Two by two they stepped forward each placing a flower in a huge vase on each side of the pulpit. There was a box on it and it was covered in a Bajoran flag. Kira started shaking, thinking it was the baby. I mind linked with her and told her, her baby is not in there. Riker was the first to walk up he put his and Troy's flower in a vase and hugged Kira. He whispered you look beautiful. Troy hugged her tightly. And whispered you are so very much loved.**

**Captain Picard finished his flute song and took the pulpit. Everybody stopped for a moment. Picard started, We are all gathered here to say hello, to welcome back, and to show our love and support for our former DS9 Captain and for our most cherished friend. Dearest Kira, you were missed and you are loved, Now and forever. Everybody applauded. The whole space station echoed with applause and cheers for their old captain. Kira stepped up to the podium and slowly the cheers died down. Kira swallowed hard holding back so much emotion. Dianna was crying. She whispered to Riker. She is in so much pain.**

**I don't know how she can even stand let alone speak. Kira took a long minute to look at all the people in and standing outside the chapel. She could only say, Thank you all for all of this. I haven't ever been welcomed like this. When I left here I was in pretty bad shape. Her hand shook she clinched her fist. As you can see, In some ways I still am. But I had no idea just how much love surrounded me here till today. We have all have our battles. For many of us, our wounds of war run deep. But with the love of family and friends like you, I can see now there is a chance to heal. Thank you all for this. Thank you all so very much. Kira stumbled off the podium but Picard grabbed her and steadied her. Her balance restored Captain Picard Kissed her on both cheeks french style and gave her his flower.**

**He said, I must go Duty calls. The Riker's hugged Kira again and the flower procession continued. They said we have to go to. They were late for a rendezvous with the Romulin's for a peace conference. Kira said thank you for coming. One by one they shimmered away after they delivered their flowers. The admiral said all these flowers will be taken down to Bajor and placed on your baby's grave. Kira's eyes went wide. Her Grave? You saved the body. We did more than that Kira actually someone you know did more than that. Kira was shocked. Walking up was Quark in a Federation Uniform. Addressing the Admiral, Lt. Commander Quark Reporting for duty sir.**

**The Admiral said proceed. Quark and Nog walked up to the Bajoran flag and lifted it off the box and folded the flag neatly. Nog held the flag. Quark picked up the box and brought it over to her. Kira said, it's a Bajoran memory box. This wood, It's the finest on the planet.**

**And the golden rose is so beautiful. It's missing a petal. Quark looked at the Admiral. He nodded. Quark said, The rose is you. The petal is for baby, Kira Nowell. Kira immediately felt faint and lost the ability to stand anymore and had to be helped over to a chair. Kira was sobbing. You named her? Quark continued, The Admiral gave her the name in your stead. We had a full Bajoran funeral and burial. Inside this box is some pictures and memory stick of the funeral and burial along with the deed to the family burial site.**

**There is a place set aside for you when the time comes so you can rest beside her. Lastly, there is a special locket with a lock of her hair inside. Here is the key. Quark added, Kira, I said and did allot to cause you pain and upset in the past and I'm sorry for all that. I wanted to give this to you to apologize and to let you know just how very much, you have been missed. For the first time ever, Kira hugged Quark and cried. Quark whispered, I lost my first wife and baby too. It will take a long time but it does get better.**

**If you and the admiral will excuse me, I need to report back to ops. The admiral said you and Nog are dismissed and thanks for everything. My pleasure, sir. Nodding Ambassador. Then he turned and left. Nog simply walked over and handed her the folded flag and said, For Nowell. He gave Kira a quick hug and trotted off. I sat down beside Kira and whispered in her ear. And you thought you weren't loved. Kira looked around at all the people walking in and leaving flowers. Some she knew and many she didn't. She just hugged the box and flag tight to her chest and cried. T'lana came over and wrapped her arms around her and rocked her as she cried.**

**After a long pause to let everything sink in. I saw Letta walk in with her flower. I whispered in Kira's ear, guess who's got your old job? Kira looked up and was stunned. She said Leeta? You are Chief of security? Leeta looked very different in her Bajoran commander's uniform. She smiled hugging Kira and gave her, her flower. The Admiral said Letta has passed all her exams and training and has been working very well now for almost three months now.**

**Looking around at us. Kira said so much has changed. I said how about some coffee to steady your nervs. Kira said Coffee? Frack that I need a drink. The admiral hit his com badge. **

**Computer site to site transport to my office. Nine to transport. We all stood and grouped together. He said Energize. And we shimmered away and appeared in his office. Standing there a beautiful Spotted Trill was holding a tray of glasses with blue liquid. Romulin Ale anybody? I thought, after the shock of all that you might need this Kira set down the memory box and flag. And picked up the tray out of her hands and set it down on the table.**

**Then she hugged the admiral's wife so tightly. It's so good to see you again. I haven't seen you since the wedding. T'lana Walks away from everyone to spend some time alone in the admirals private gardens here on DS9. Jar'an comes in and sits down next to me and asks, what is troubling you? It is nothing to worry about, I feel odd being here again. So mandy look at me as if I was a ghost or something.**

**I said I know what your saying about an odd feeling Poor Ezri is about to come crawling out of her skin inside me. So many people she knows and wants to talk to but can't. You look so much like, Ezri, it's spooky. The people look at you and see her and its kind of creeping them out. T'lana said,Its not just that. I feel wrong about being back here and not having Ezri inside me to experience the joy and love I feel. I also feel hate from someone here. Mom tries to comfort me inside.**

**I said, Wait! You said you feel hate from someone? Do you remember who or where? T'lana said, That's why I came to the gardens to think, After the funeral was over. There is something I must deal with. I feel so much anger and hate right now. My sense are running high right now. I do not know who it is right now. I pressed the issue. Honey concentrate. Is it your anger or is the anger of another. I decided not to wait for T'lana to answer. Taping my com badge, Jar'an to Jar'don. Put security on alert double security on the children. Tapping com badge again Jar'an To Letta. Securities alert lock down airlock to my ship. No body in or out. Tapping my com badge again, Jar'an to Jake.**

**Put ship on security alert scan for any intruders. The admiral and Kira run up. What is it? I'm not sure. Something or some one had my skin crawling a little while ago. I dismissed it but T'lana just told me she felt the same thing.**

**Tapping my com badge. Jar'an to Letta. Scan all visitors to the station. use the stations facial recognition system and see if we have any match for any known hired guns. T'lana said, Someone else. There is two. Mom and I can feel something or someone else. Honey, take care of Kira and I will head back to the ship. Placing my hand on her shoulder. Oh no you don't! The ship is locked down. No body in or out. The only way back on ship is for Jake to beam you over. We can't beam through his shields and they went active the second the ship was put on security alert. Taping my com badge Jar'an to Jake are you all right?... Jake here sweeping all decks no life signs so far. Deck eight is completely locked out.**

**The lifts won't stop there. I asked, Is there anything on decks nine or Seven? Jake said no nothing-just storage. I said Scan those decks once more and then vent them into space. We got bad guy's bro. If they cant breathe they cant fight. Jake said Understood. Also, Jake can you beam T'lana and Kira inside the locked down decks. Kira said Jake take T'lana and leave me here. If it's a fight they want I am in the mood to give them one. Before T'lana could say anything more she shimmered away.**

**T'lana hollered at Jake. Send me back to my husband! Taping my com badge I waited Jar'an to T'lana. Get me back NOW! Jake beam her back. Shimmering back T'lana looked like she wanted to kill me. Stomping over towards me she hollered at the top of her voice !DONT EVER DO THAT TO ME AGAIN GOT IT! T'lana said, I can Beat the crap out you for that ,I can feel that person or persons. DAM IT JAR'AN YOUR MY HUSBAND AND I WILL DIE BY YOUR SIDEIF I HAVE TOO.**

**Look I'm sorry. I just thought the kids might like to have at least one parent still alive. I looked over at the Admiral for support. The Admiral held up his hands saying Hey don't look at me I got one too. Letta chimed in the com system Admiral Cartright here. Letta said you better come up here. We definitely have trouble. T'lana links, Mom what is it, she says not to got near the trouble and beam back to safety. The Admiral lead the way but before he left he passed a phaser pistol to his wife. Letta raised her phaser as we walked in. and breathed a sigh of releif. Admiral, Jar'an was right these two here are hired guns.**

**And watch who walks past them.. Jar'an said, That's us. Jesus, that was too close. No wonder I felt my skin crawl. T'lana look here. You were right. Letta is their any way to program the sensors with the facial recognition data to the station sensors in the inner and outer rings? The sensors will help us find them. T'lana Sighs with relief, I a very happy to see that you got the bad guys. I said, Not quite yet Honey. We know who they are now we have to find out where they are. Letta said sensors show them here. They are heading for the ship.**

**Tapping my com badge Jar'an to Jake. Jake here.. Two hired guns in upper ring near Pylon-6. Emergency detach, Break away-Break away. Letta, Move the camera in on that man Magnify and augment. I know that son of a bitch. Letta do you have coms in the location? She said Yes. Key me in will ya. Letta smiled wickedly and pressed a series of keys. The computer hissed at her I said here let me try. See, like this you were close you just got the last two inputs backwards. Cartright said you seem to know allot about Cardassian Computers.**

**I said, yes I know a thing or two. Their system is only slightly better than Federation computers. They can take a beating. Feddy Computers cant. I punched the com open. Hello Randal, is that your buddy Carmine or did you kill him and hire another partner. There is no way out. With just one punch of this button and the explosive bolts holding that bulkhead will blow and you will be swimming in the vacuum of space. Randal punched the com button. Is that you Robert? You sound different. No Carmine was a stupid shit. He got himself shot on an independent contract hit.**

**I ask, So tell me old buddy. You gunning for me again, or is it some other poor unfortunate bastard. Randal laughed and said, No not this time, Old buddy, It's a girl. Some bitch by the name of Kira. Know her? I keyed the mike. Laughing. Intimately.. You best come after me. That one will hurt you.. I looked around. Kira was long gone. That woman knows this base like the back of her hand. Next thing he saw was his partner being Vaporized..**

**I keyed the mike. See I told you so. Looking around Randal knew he was caught. He threw down his weapon and surrendered. Admiral tapped his com badge. Security, move in and take him. I hollered into the Admirals com badge, Kira stay hid. Security stop. Don't take another step. Scan him for explosives. Kira backed away her cloaking shield fluctuated. Randal saw it. I hollered RUN KIRA RUN NOW!. Randal exploded and the deck was vented to space. Our security barely got the bulkhead doors closed in time. Just then I saw a wall Panel open and close. I tap my Com badge Jar'an to Kira. Are you all right?... KIRA RESPOND NOW! Kira's voice was ragged. Loosing air fast getting cold holding coms open Lock on and Energize. My fingers were flying across the controls,**

**I turned and ran out shoving people out of the way, leaping down to the lower deck and hitting the Transport switch. Kira shimmered in and collapsed. I leaped over to the transport pad and hollered Computer Emergency medical transport to the medical bay Energize. The Admiral and T'lana jumped on the transport pad and followed. In the medical bay I scooped Kira up and layed her on the bio bed. The med techs went to work and got her warmed back up stopping the Hypothermia. It took a few hours of Oxygen therapy in a pressure chamber but Kira finally woke up. I opened a private mind link. Kira damn it. I thought I lost you. I love you, you crazy woman. Kira smiled. I will be better now.**

**I said yes you will but we are not through yet. Kira, you were the target. So many came to greet you and trouble rarely just comes in two's We are keeping the station on full alert. Gods you look like shit woman. Kira asked, well when I get out you want to give me a bath. Blushing, I remember those rose petal baths we used to have. Shaking my head so I can concentrate. Please Kira, I'm hurting here. I need for you to be happy. Kira said I love you too. Then she went back to sleep. The med techs came over and said she will probably sleep for another hour as the pressure cycle comes to an end.**

**Turning, to the Admiral. My hand shaking. That was way too close. If you weren't walking with us we would probably be dead. The people who want to kill us don't want any war with Star Fleet. I want that family arrested and charged with the attempted murder of the Ambassador. Where is Quark? I'll call him. **

**Taping his com badge Cartright to Quark. Meet me in my office. Quark said on my way sir. T'lana do you feel any more danger cause I sure as hell do. T'lana said, I'm not sure possibly. Who ever it is hides their emotions. Sitting beside my T'lana I snuggle up close and hold her tight. I love this woman more than my own life. If anything were to happen to her I would be lost forever. We are way too exposed here. Admiral, something real hard to say, but somebody here knew we were coming. They knew days in advance or these people wouldn't be here. Did the doctor have any friends here that might want some revenge?**

**Tapping his com badge, Admiral Cartright to Letta, Coordinate with the Ambassadors security detachment. Use only Bajoran personnel. Lock down and sweep all sleeping quarters. Admiral what about Kira? Is she safe in the medical bay? Yes, In order to remain on board DS9 We had to agree to certain concessions to Bajor. The entire medical personnel was replaced by a Bajoran crew. They demanded the same with Security. Star Fleet now operates a minor role. I said, Sorry about that. UFP Jacobs conviction and execution really affected relations with Bajor.**

**T'lana said, Jar'an, something is not right please keep yourself safe and Kira too. I said, You know I an real tired of hiding in fear. I gave the admiral a look. He said, Oh shit, what have you got in mind Jar'an. Letta, does the station have a public address system so everybody can hear? She said, yes it does and smiled wickedly. I think I know what you have in mind. You're going to turn the tables on this creep. I said, Right. Admiral, this creep is trying to earn a bounty on our heads. Well let's put a bounty on his head. The Admiral snickered, Brilliant. His own friends will turn him in.**

**The admiral signaled Letta to go ahead. She worked the controls in a flash. The computers beep was heard all over the station. Attention crew and patrons of DS9. An assignation attempt has been made on a visiting dignitary. Bajor has a standard, One hundred bars of Gold pressed Latinum for information leading to the arrest of all those involved. I have been authorized to augment that reward to ten thousand bars of Gold Pressed Latinum. **

**Also If that person can provide absolute proof of who hired the killers, I will augment the reward to one hundred thousand bars of Gold pressed Latinum. That is all. Thank you for your time and attention. Looking out on the balcony at the people talking. Just then I caught site of a Vulcan looking up at me. I hollered Him! Stop him the next thing I knew the phazer blast blew through my right arm spinning me around and to the floor. I heard T'lana screaming and then I passed out. T'lana screamed, Jar'an, OMG NO. She picks up the phaser and goes after the bastard that shot my husband. Admiral Cartright and Letta try to stop her. She screamed at them. Get out of my way he dies for attacking my husband.**

**In a ragged voice I said T'lana stay. I need you.. T'lana Puts the phaser in her pocket and comes to my side, You see so much anger build up inside me. Looking at the Admiral, help my husband please. I hold you tight. Whispering I love you. Then I passed out again. The admiral scooped me up and we all shimmered away to the Medical bay. I try to link with Ezri but she is not talking. Ezri help me. I love you. Tell me you are all right. T'lana Stands next to the door feeling helpless and wanting blood for this attack.**

**Jar'don shimmered directly in to the medical bay. T'lana ran to him sobbing. They shot him daddy its bad. I can't hear Ezri's voice either. The med tech gave me a shot and the pain subsided. Letta walked up to the admiral. We got the bastard. Several of our patrons beat him severely and delivered him to us. I link with your mind. T'lana, Yanas stop. Save your power for Ezri. She is hurt The energy blast may have hurt her as it flashed through my body. T'lana stopped.. She is not here. Kira rose up from her bed. She is here. He told me to go and save Kira. She is repaired. The Bajoran techs backed away cautiously and knelt down. Kira was standing their glowing blue white. She walked back to Jar'an and placed her hands on his chest. Then she changed back to bright green and went back inside. Kira collapsed to the floor.**

**Jar'don scooped her back up and put her back to bed. The med techs were afraid to touch Jar'an. He turned and yelled at them to do their jobs. The techs cleaned my wound and burned out three dermal generators but got the wound closed. His blood pressure is high. They gave me a shot and it settled back down.**

**T'lana says, BABY are you alright, I'm going to kill the bastards that came after doctor went over to the Admiral and T'lana. He is going to need rest but he will recover. What is this spirit business? T'lana said best you not ask. You dont want to offend the profits do you? No, of course not. Well two of their spirit angels protect us. Looking up at the doctor's frown. Well they try too. We don't make it easy for them. Grabbing my shoulder in pain. OUCH that hurts. I'm getting too old for this shit. T'lana Stays by her husbands side, tears down her face. I love you so much. I hold her hand. I love you too.**

**I ask, What kind of weapon was that. The Admiral says a type 6 Disrupter. I thought for a moment. That would have killed Ezri Completely disrupting her energy matrix. Admiral Cartright was releaved I would recover but had some serious questions. You two have some explaining to do. Doctor when they can be released see to it they are escorted to my office. T'lana Stands up and moves away so you can talk. Tears running down her face. She thinks how she wants sweet revenge. Letta walked up and handed the Admiral a note. Well, One good thing has come from all this. The shooter has confessed and provided recorded evidence against the Jacobs family they are being arrested as we speak.**

**T'lana asked, what will happen next? Will my husband be all right? I want to kill them all. Walks into the doctor's office and makes a subspace message to a few old friends. Thinking, she sits down and puts her face in her hands. I looked around at the Bajoran med techs. And said, Nothing more dangerous than a pissed off wife. The med techs snickered. I rose up slowly. The tech gave me a sling to rest my arm in for a few weeks. Kira woke up and said what happened. Did I get him?**

**I said you got one The other almost got you. Then a third got me but he got pummeled by all those friends of yours. Jar'don helped me up the stairs to the Admirals office. Everybody is staring at us. I turned and said, I'm sorry folks for all the trouble that happened here. Really we just came to visit and help a friend. Then I turned and went into the Admirals office. T'lana Waits in the doctors office with the door closed and locked, waiting for the return call.I hope I have done the right thing here.**

**Once seated in the admirals office the door was closed. Letta sat down beside Kira. Ok, first what is up with the super powers of yours. I looked at Kira for a moment. As you saw we are not normal Trill. We have two spirits that live inside us. T'lana has Yanas who is T'lana's and Ezri's mother. She died several generations ago. Ezri is the Trill counselor you knew that died in the shuttle crash. They stay with us to help guide us and heal us when we get hurt. When I had my heart surgery, I died and Ezri changed herself to go inside me and pull me back across.**

**She has been keeping me strong till my repaired heart can take over then she was supposed to go back to T'lana. But We Trill hosts have an enzyme problem and cant release our spirit guides for very long or we will die. Problem is with all the repeated emergances our energy reserves are depleted. Admiral Cartright asked, Jar'an where is T'lana? She was in the medbay and has disappeared. I am your friend Jar'an, and want to protect your family. But is something is going on we need to know. I am the Adm in charge**

**Still groggy I said, Honestly we got separated when Jar'don here helped me out of Med bay. I think she went to the bathroom. Otherwise I have no idea where she is. Is the prisoner under heavy guard? Sorry Admiral they gave me a shot for my blood pressure and it kind of wigs me out for a while at first. A guard runs in and says Admiral and Ambassadors. We found T'lana. She locked herself in the Doctors office and she will not open the door. Or respond to our requests. Jar'don Please go and bring T'lana up here. Jar'don asked, are you sure you are ok?**

**Kira scooted over and held on to Me and said Go ahead I will watch him. Jar'don looked at the admiral and he nodded his approval. Wait I will use my link. I closed my eyes and stretched out with my mind to T'lana. Honey its me. I'm in the Admirals office. Come out and come to me please, I need you. Opening my eyes, Admiral she is frightened. She has never seen such violence before and she is scared. She just needs some time alone to settle her nerves. Jar'don Please go to her. Jar'don left and went back to the medical bay.**

**Jar'don bangs on the door and tells me to unlock the door. She told him no and to leave me be. I link with Jar'don. T'lana wont talk to me. Brake the door down if you have to. T'lana said, Stop I will unlock the door. Father please protect my husband and Kira. You remember my past father I have called and asked for help on those that hurt my family. Jar'don was furious but really scared. He said tell no one. Not even Jar'an. Now lets go to the admirals' office. T'lana Leaves the doctors office and walks with father to the admirals office. Please do not tell Jar'an what I have done.**

**Kira we need to go to the habitat ring and see your old place. Then we need to go to Bajor and see Nowells resting-place. We have come to far and risked too much to stop now. Ezri told you didn't she. Kira looked at me. I love you and I trust you. I said I would hold your hand all the way. Just as soon as I am rested. The Admiral softened his attitude a little. Hey you two want some coffee? We both said Oh hell yes. Cartright snickered. Who would have thought things would turn out the way they did. Father and I come to the Admirals office and sees you and Kira and the Admiral talking. Not saying a word we come in and sit down.**

**I snuggle up to you. In my mind link I say I am tired. I don't' know what you did and I don't want to know understand? T'lana Snuggles and holds me tight. I tell you in a mind link that I called in and old debt. I hope you forgive me. The admiral gets a message on his computer. It seems that the shuttle carrying the prisoners has crashed. They got the pilot out just in time but the prisoners were all killed. Jar'an you are my friend but I want you and your people gone from my space station. So get your business done and be gone by tonight understand? After tonight I may have to detain you for questioning Understand? I struggled to stand.**

**You are my friend. My troubles has caused you pain I am sorry. Jar'don please see to it we are ready to leave in a couple of hours. Grabbing my shoulder. I think enough blood has been spilled. But first please take us to Kira's old residence. We will use the transporter to the lower decks then we will walk to the door. T'lana Stay with Jar'don and stay out of trouble. We will talk later. I need my strength for this. We all walked to Kira's old room without saying a word. Kira froze at the door seeing the evidence tape used to seal her room. The Admiral broke the seal and opened the door. We all walked in and the lights came on. What we saw made me want to go blind. **

**Kira dropped to her knees and just shook with remembrance. The room looked like a war was fought inside it. There was broken furniture and blood spatters everywhere. Kira said I came inside and the doctor was sitting there, waiting on me It seemed strange he was inside but he said he wanted to brew me some Bajoran tea to settle my nerves and help me sleep. We sat here and talked and he seemed harmless enough so I excused myself and changed out of my uniform. I started feeling dizzy and knew the tea was drugged. I fought him tooth and nail all over this room. After some seconds my arms would not move. I could not walk or talk. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I could barely breathe.**

**I remember him standing over me smiling. He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and dragged me over to my bed. He threw me up on the bed and ripped my clothes off. I remember him punching me in my stomach and my face. Then he rolled me over and climbed on top and... OOOOOHHH GODS! Shaking and sobbing Kira struggled to continue. I put my hand on her shoulder. I am here. No one will ever hurt you like this again. Kira continued, He raped me over and over and over kicking me spitting on me. Admiral Cartright ran outside and threw up. Kira stumbled a little as she walked to the shower room. He dragged me by my hair off the bed into the shower room. He shoved something up inside me. I thought he was raping me again. I couldn't move. I felt a stick and he drew it out. It must have been when... Sobbing madly Kira screamed out.. HE KILLED MY BABY!..**

**Jar'an Tigan There in front of us on the floor was a Dried pool of blood with leg smears as Kira struggled to escape. Sobbing uncontrollably. She pounded her hands on the floor. Screaming out My Baby- My Baby! Sobbing, I got down and held her as she grieved madly. Then she gasped and screamed out My little Nowell! Cartright lost it and had to leave. Jar'don went with him to console him. Out in the hallway, He said I saw it all. I carried her broken and bloodied body all the way to the medical bay. She was beaten so badly bruises everywhere. So much blood and baby fluid.**

**His hands shaking, And I delivered her into that mans hands and he cut out her baby and sowed her up acting as if nothing happened. When I found out it was he, I beat him almost to death with my bare hands. I still have the scars.**

**I struggled to get Kira up off the floor. She was sobbing so madly. T'lana was crying so hard she could hardly see. I held her close for a long time sobbing almost as badly as she was. I walked her back out to the main room. Kira was furious. She threw chairs and pieces of furniture all around the room, screaming her had off. Finally, she got tired and collapsed to the floor sobbing again and just said destroy it all. Cartright turned and ran back in wiping tears from his face. I will take care of it personally Kira. I swear it.**

**Kira got up and ran over and threw up over in a corner. T'lana grabbed a towel from the bathroom and washed her face. Holding her as she shook and sobbed. Cartright looked over at me. It was my baby too. I gave her the fluid to use to try for a baby. I was so angry. I focused on the one chair that was unbroken and pointed at it using the power of my mind, I raised it up off the ground and crushed it. The pieces went everywhere. I stopped and wiped my nose because it started bleeding again.**

**T'lana got me a wet wash cloth and I got it to stop bleeding. T'lana hissed, The Bastards. I looked at Cartright and he suddenly got real scared. I said burn it all. Vaporize it destroy everything. Kira walked over to me and I held her tight. No words. No link Just shaking with pain and fury. Kira said lets go home. I never want to come back here again. Jar'don and Cartright went into the showers and pulled out their phasers and vaporized every bit of blood and broken items. Then we walked out and they went to work on the bedroom and main room vaporizing everything down to the metal floors and bulkheads. Cartright walked over to Kira and me. I swear, to you two, nobody will ever use this room again. Jar'don walked out and the door closed. Cartright adjusted his phaser and flash welded the door shut forever.**

**I hit my com badge. Jake, stand down from alert. Please beam us over. Kira said wait. She stepped over to Cartright. Looking at him. I always knew you know. I always knew how you felt about me. I knew you had a crush on me and I loved it so much. You showed me so much compassion, and love. I will never forget what you did. She hugged him tightly and kissed him on the cheek. He turned and said Good bye my friends I will take some pictures of the grave after they deliver the flowers and send them to you. I said, Jake Energize. And we shimmered away.**

**Back on board we warped away from DS9 and Kira went and took a bath and then she went to bed and for the first time in a long time, actually relaxed and fell asleep. I had another task to handle. Back in our room. My arm aching madly, I sat down and asked why did you do that? We had them all dead to rights. T'lana said, I felt I had the right to defend my family, I am tired of someone trying to kill us. What would you have me do? Let them keep coming after us.**

**You rose up from the couch. Continuing, you said, we had to end this. We were never going to have any peace. Sooner or later one of them would have gotten free and we would be at it again. I almost lost you. I will never lose you. I looked into her eyes and said, So to end this and bring peace you risk never seeing our kids again. Oh poor Mira. We left her with the kids all this time.**

**Let's go check on her. Walking down the hall to the day care we found Mira asleep in the rocking chair all the babies fed and changed and sound asleep. I said let's leave the kids here and get cleaned up and get some rest our selves. We quietly slip out of the room and go back to our quarters. T'lana looked at me and said I will draw you a rose bath. I hear from Kira you like them allot. Following behind her I said you two share way too much information. T'lana giggles as she closed the bathroom door.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Two / Segment One.**

**(My Birthday)**

**It was quiet and warm. The soft hum of the engines always put me to sleep. I try to stretch but was greeted with a huge spasm of pain. I had to bury my face in the pillow. T'lana was sleeping. Kira was sitting in a chair watching over little Jar'el. She chimed in her mind link. It was much stronger than before. She said Hi. I tried to take Jar'el to the daycare but poor Mira was asleep so I just thought Id watch him here till you got up. Jar'an, what are we going to do?**

**I never wanted to come between you and T'lana. I said I know. I guess we will just have to take things one day at a time. Kira said, wait here, I have an errand to do. I will be right back. I layed back down gently rubbing Tlana's back as she slowly begins to stir and wake up. **

**Those beautiful eyes held so much love. I just had to kiss you. Good Morning my love.. Feeling better? Yes baby I feel so much better, What is going on with my body? I feel torn in different directions. Well let me see licking and tickling my way down your back and waist and belly and then down to your womanhood, I just went to work licking and eating and humming. From under the sheets, I said, everything all seems to be in the right place. MMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmmm mmmmmmm,you dont answer me,oh gods yesssssssssssssssssssss Just as we got started, Jar'el chimes in Ha Ha Daddy tickel mommy. Moaning and laughing, T'lana said, mommy and daddy are just having some fun. I almost choked on some... fluids. Laughing my ass off. My head bobbing under the sheets. T'lana, laughs and moans laughing so hard. I left my mind link open to Kira by accident and forgot all about it. Holding and kissing my wife I slid all they way in. T'lana moaned, mmmmm baby oh god yes you feel so good inside me. I love you so much. I tired to go harder but my shoulder spasm again so I had to go slow and just hold and cuddle and kiss you so passionately.**

**mmmmm holds and cuddles with you arching my back and trying to take me in deeper. I love you so much I could feel us getting close so I hugged you tightly as we neared the edge of orgasm. Moaning oh god baby yessss I push in as far as I can go and arched my back and exploded deep inside. I felt T'lanas release comes soon after as she gasped and vibrated with wave after wave of pleasure. Linked in our head, Daddy still tickling mommy. T'lana, Giggles. Laughs oh god our son is so cute. Laughing, I said, Jar'el shush.. I'm trying to tickle mommy. Laughing some more.**

**T'lana was laughing so hard and arching her back exploding more and more with pleasure for us both. Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm.. I felt that one..mmmmmmmmm. T'lana laughs, oh god baby wow that was wonderful. Yea honey it was. Kissing you passionately. Ouch my shoulder it hurts! Now are you going to tell me why mood swings are going nuts? Yanas can only do so much. She is very tired. Your enzyme level went up and with all the stress of being shot at and seeing me getting shot, well it all adds up.**

**I was afraid of loosing you. Suddenly, I heard the engine pitch change. Feels like we just dropped out of warp. I'll check with Jake. Pushing the com switch. Jar'an to Jake. Is everything all right up there? Jake answered more than all right we just dropped out of warp for some sub light cruising so we can all partake of this huge Banquet table Kira made for us. She wants you two and Mira to come up with the kids. Ok be up in a few minuets go ahead and let the crew have some fun but keep an eye out for trouble.**

**T'lana Gets up and cleaned up. She dressed and helps Mira get the children ready. Links to the children now remember kids you must be quiet no talking. We love you. Riding the lift up. I had this nagging feeling something was off. Maybe something I forgot. The lift opened on to the bridge. We still had ops and tactical manned but everybody else seemed to be in the briefing room.**

**The door opened and WOW their was so much food. Kira was standing off to the side just beaming with pride. Noticing me she called out to the crowd. Hey everybody, The guest of honor has arrived. T'lana Smiles, Standing there watching everyone and Mira by my side. We, at last, had regained a measure of happiness. Still I cant shake the feeling I'm forgetting something. We were ushered to some waiting chairs. Then Kira began her speech. Ok everybody, I just wanted to do something to say thank you for everything you did for me. You are the greatest of friends and the best family a person could have. There is plenty for everybody so please dig in.. Kira set a huge square shaped covered tray in front of me. OH by the way Jar'an.. She lifted the cover !HAPPY BIRTHDAY!**

**Everybody laughed and clapped. I cracked up. My face went beat red and I just buried it in my hands. With all the commotion I had completely forgot. T'lana said, Happy Birthday honey, She kisses me passionately. I love you. WOW what can I say. Thank you all for this. I have allot to be thankful for this birthday. I have the best crew and friends a man could ever have. And now I have a wonderful wife and children. And my father in law over there is a pretty good man too. We all have come far, endured much, sacrificed much, and lost much to make it to this day.**

**I want to recognize another kind of birthday. For my close friend Kira has taken the biggest and the hardest step in healing. I am very proud of you Kira. I gave her a light hug as my shoulder was still hurting. Raising my glass, Here's to family. We love you all. Well let's eat! T'lana Giggles, children shhh, Mommy we want cake. Children you are too young right now. When you are older I promise. Now hush. As I was eating, Ezri linked into my mind smiling. I said you sure look better. Ezri said I needed the rest. By the time we get back home I should be back at full power and so should Yanas.**

**Happy birthday Jar'an, I love you. I placed my hand on my chest. I love you too Ezri. Ezri also said your heart is healed and strong now. I asked are you going back to T'lana? Ezri's smile vanished. I can't go back. If I leave for more than an hour your body will die. Thinking, the enzyme problem. My body has become dependent on you hasn't it? Ezri said Yes. When we get home I will go and meditate then we will all go back to the lagoon and be together.**

**T'lana links in Ezri, How did your sym become one with my husband? He never went thru what we did to become joined. Ezri said, In order to save your husband I had to change myself. When I did that I lost the ability to cross over to the spirit realm. Though your husband has no physical Dax symbiot. But remember when your Dax joined with him and gave him his gift? Well he also made it possible for him to have a Dax of his own.**

**For now, I am now his Dax. T'lana asked, What will happen now sister? Things will remain as they are. Yanas will stay with you and I will stay with your husband. When the time comes and he dies, I will cross over forever with him. Ezri continued, Your body got used to having the two of us in there. Now that there is only one, Your enzyme levels will from time to time destabilize. But with medicine and some time your body will readjust.**

**T'lana Got upset. Crying, and gets up and away from the link and goes outside the hall for air. Thinking how is this possible? Ezri relinks. Sister, do not cry. I am happy here and your husband needs me. Now that his heart is healed we can still be together in the lagoon. I love you. And I will never leave you, or Jar'an.**

**Back in the briefing room, I called Jar'don over. Odo should be back in a couple of weeks. I want to know exactly when. He and I have a problem to get straightened out. So I want to meet him at the office at the spaceport. And Jar'don, don't tell Kira anything about it. I link with T'lana. Honey ,come back inside and finish your food. You need the strength. Especially, if we are going to make love again tonight. T'lana said, Enjoy yourself, I am not in the mood anymore, Its ok Mira I will take the children back to our quarters. I need some alone time with the children.**

**I stayed for a little while. Finished my plate of food, and had some cake. I stood and told everybody Thank you. Kira walked over and asked where is T'lana? I said I think she is in another one of her moods again. She went back to our quarters with the kids. I was just going back there myself. Kira, I love you. I hate to ask, but when we get back I think T'lana is going to need some alone time with me.**

**Jar;el links with daddy and says mommy sad and hungry, Daddy bring us cake and mommy food. All three children laugh. I fixed a plate for T'lana and carried it back to her. Kira said I understand and she kissed me on my cheek. I said good night all and went back to my quarters. I went inside and found T'lana playing with the kids.**

**Just then I felt the ship go back to warp. I sat down with the plate. T'lana talk to me. What is bothering you? T'lana said, I just don't understand how things have changed so much and I know what can happen if a symbenti or host dies. Plus this was given to me outside from someone that was waiting on us at the party.**

**I asked, What is it? I have never seen that person before and I can't read this note. Mom even tried to read it and we do not know language, Reading the note. This language seems familiar but I can't remember it. Pressing the com switch. Jar'an to Jake. Somebody passed a note in a strange language to T'lana. Scanning it and sending it up to you now. Maybe you can analyze it. For now slow down to warp 1. We may have a rat on board. Go to security alert but do it quietly. Is Jar'don still up there? Good. Please tell him I need him Thanks.**

**Jar'an was laughing out loud. It looks like our old boy, Trank, has got a girlfriend. You can hear T'lana and the children laughing in the living room. Shhhh don't saying thing yet children. Let them think about it for awhile. Giggles in a link mommy hope daddy likes it. Me too children, me too. Jar'an Tigan Thinking about the note, then Ezri said to me. Somebody is playing a joke on you. I hugged Ezri. Thanks honey. I walked back into the living room. I can't figure this thing out. Jake says it's an anagram code of some kind. He is running it thru the ships computer for decode. T'lana Giggles, Children stop not funny. Shhh we don't want daddy and Jake to know yet. Mommy we want daddy and cake. They all laugh.**

**Jar'an puts his hands on his hips. Ok-Ok I feel like I'm being played. What's going on? T'lana Children, be nice they start laughing. Its nothing they keep asking for Cake and Ice Cream. T'lana said Jar'el , Ezri and Yanas. Its up to daddy if he wants to feed you Cake and Ice cream. You children are way too young****Jar'an said, Children, If your mother said no, I can't say yes. You can't learn respect unless you see it. I have to respect your mother's decision.**

**Jake chimes the door. I said Enter. Jake comes in and says ok, T'lana do you what to explain this message to me and Jar'an? T'lana Laughs not really. It is a birthday joke to my husband.****I said, Its a what? Where is that wet towel. Runs into the bathroom. The children link to daddy it was our idea mommy said it would be funny if it came from us. Mommy you said we can have cake with daddy. I know children lets hug and kiss daddy and say thank you to Capt Sisco.**

**I hollered out thanks Jake, if you will excuse me I have a wife to get very wet. I walk out with a wet towel wadded up in his hands. Jake smiled wickedly and said I'm out of here he turned and scurried out. T'lana screams and scurries away. The children chime in. No Daddy we did it, Daddy happy Birthday! Laughing I chased mommy all around the room.**

**T'lana was Laughing. Happy Birthday Baby. I finally catch up to you and toss you on the bed squeezing the cold water on your womanhood.****T'lana Gasped, omg that so cold, Baby talk to the children. I gave them my word you would spend time with them and share your cake.**

**Laughing and tickling you I throw up your dress and said cold is it well let me see if I can warm it up. And then I started in on you. T'lana Gasped and arched her back mmmmm, You Bratt. Children start talking Daddy tickling mommy. Daddy we want cake you come play with us. Ok children I will be there in just a second. Then I planted a huge raspberry on T'lanas belly, making her squeal and scream out with laughter. T'lana was Laughing so hard. Omg baby I love you. Jar'an said, I love you too. Now the cake has way too much sugar for the kids but some ice cream would be ok. You sit over there and finish eating that plate of food I brought you.**

**T'lana said, We wanted to have you to ourselves for your birthday baby. The children want to spend time with you too. T'lana takes the girls in her arms and I have Jar'el and we give them an ice cream cone and let them have fun and guess what we love you children. I said, I know its been a long week. Hi kids! Its daddy!. Now, about that cake. I can't give that to you yet. You're still too young. But we all can have some ice cream. Mommy can't have any till she finishes her supper. One by one I pick them up and hug and spin them. I even rasberried their bellies. All except Jar'el. Oh honey? Jar'el needs you. He is a little ripe smelling. Ah what the heck I turned away to get some clean air and rasberried hin as well. He laughed so hard he let go again. Thinking to myself as I handed him over. I knew Id get even.**

**The children laugh. Mommy, daddy very funny. T'lana laughs, but you honey need a diaper change. Then you can have ice cream. I said, Judging from that smell he needs to be hosed off. EEEEEWWWWW that's nasty. T'lana Laughs, and gags your not kidding Be right back, She takes our son in the nursery and cleans him up. Gagging oh god boy what is Mira feeding you, Ezri and Yanas and I are howling with laughter. The little munchkins were eating the ice cream and had it smeared all over their face and up in their hair too.**

**T'lana hollered, little Jar'el comes running thru the room with not diaper on, omg he got away from me catch him. Laughing so hard I snickered, Ok show off. I scoop him up and hand him back to T'lana. T'lana giggles, takes him puts his diaper on and gives him his ice cream. The kids were having a ball. Chiming in, Mommy daddy funny.**

**Looking at the girls. I said, I think they got more ice cream on them than in them. Gods, Look at this mess! Laughing. Look at that face.. T'lana said, well you have a little boy who likes to run around naked. Grinning wickedly, You sure didn't mind when I did that. By the way, He gets that from you. Remember when Kira and Odo caught you naked standing in the hallway at home? T'lana snickered, no I do not remember honey, All the children are a mess, I continued, And remember when Polly came out of the guest room all sleepy and yawning scratching her but and she walked right over to me and hugged me good morning standing there stark naked?**

**T'lana Blushes. She was laughing too hard. Mira chimes into our mind link Do you guys need help with the children? I chime back Gods yes. They got ice cream everywhere. Mira, chimes back good. This I can't wait to see. Mira was laughing already. Mira walks in Oh my Gods! What happened here? Just as I was about to explain, Ezri splatted some ice cream on my face. Laughing and spitting sticky ice cream. I said, we had fun. It's my birthday and we had so much fun. Ezri was laughing inside me she was rolling on the floor laughing her ass off. I linked with Yanas.**

**She was layed out laughing too. She said Oh gods that brings back memories. I said I don't know what we have more of. Dirty diapers or dirty laundry. She howled. T'lana Giggled, mom is laughing her butt off in my head. omg the children are a mess. Wiping the ice cream out of my eye, they're a mess? Look at what you're first born daughter did to me. Spitting more sticky ice cream I chased T'lana around the room with my sticky hands. All the kids were laughing. I went over to Ezri and made a face and she just giggled. Yanas just sat there and grinned at me. Jarel just ran around giggling.**

**T'lana and I was laughing and the children tackle us playing and climbing on us tickling us, Mommy and daddy we love you and Mira too. I said, We love you too. Guess what? Mira has got a boyfriend. Poor Mira went beat red with embarrassment. Just then she linked with me and showed me a very passionate memory she had just had on the holodeck. I said in her mind. I thought you were walking a little differently. Mira giggles and continues to help clean up the mess. The children get sleepy after we clean them up and get them ready for bed. Awww, little Ezri falls asleep in Mira's arms.**

**Carrying them down the hall to the daycare where their cribs are Mira had Ezri I had Yanas and T'lana had Jar'el. We finally got them settled and Mira said she could watch them for a while so we can get cleaned up. I said thanks. This stuff is dried in my hair. Mira chimes in our mind link. Snickering. You should see what is drying in Tranks hair. I turned and gave her a surprised look. She just grinned wickedly. T'lana Laughs saying, thank you Mira, I am very happy for you. We sneak off back to our room and slip in the bathroom to shower off. My shoulder was still sore so you helped me out of my shirt and pants. Saying it time I give my birthday boy a bath.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Three / Segment One.**

**(Saying Good bye)**

**We slept till late that day. Our servants, guards and Nannies were doing all they could to carry out their jobs and keep quiet. I woke up feeling all-stiff. I slipped out of bed and let T'lana sleep. Putting on my robe I noticed Jar'don sitting at the patio table outside. One of the servant girls handed me a cup of fresh hot coffee. I thanked her with a silent hug and walked out to the patio table and chairs. I sat down and sipped on the coffee. Jar'don greeted me with a smile. It's about time you two got up.**

**The day is over half gone. I said, I had to take T'lana and myself to the hospital last night. Jar'don said what happened. I told him, Well it seems T'lana had a head ache for more than two days and I have over stressed my heart using my mind to make the mental construct we all have been using. He said I couldn't do that again for at least a month. Snickering, I look younger than you do on the out side but right now my insides feel twice as old. Jar'don handed me a pad and said well this may cheer you up. The road got finished yesterday. Right on schedule. They will be opening the medical center and schoolhouse tomorrow.**

**Jar'an, you are a hero to them. And much more than that to me. I was holding so much inside me. And now none of it matters anymore. You restored my happiness. You rest today. I will take care of things around here.**

**Walking out with her cup of coffee T'lana was yawning and scratching her butt as she closed her robe for daddy. She said Hi daddy. I love you. Jardon let her set down her coffee cup and them he scooped her up swinging her around, just like he did when she was growing up. He said good morning my lovely daughter. I love you too. And then he sat her down in a chair. And walked off saying I have some chores to do be back in a few hours. T'lana Laughs, what was that all about? I have not seen him that happy in along time. Jar'don and Yanas were able to heal their old wounds. He had so much anger and guilt. It was weighing him down. Now he feels light as a feather. Stretching and grimacing from my stiffness, I wish I felt that way.**

**T'lana said, I told you to go ahead and do what you have to. Say your goodbye and make peace. I said, I cant run the construct for at least a month. The doctor said it was stressing my heart. T'lana said, But I can do it for you mom is helping me. I ask, Can I speak to Yanas? T'lana stiffens and Looks at you, I am here son. I ask, Can you do this without my help and no harm to T'lana? Yanas, said, I can do this for you son, I will do my best not to allow harm to our girl. I said, Ok lets go to the hot tub and relax. It will make things easier. Poor T'lana had an accident in the bed last time. The water will cover for any more accidents.**

**T'lana came back and said, ok honey lets go to the hot tub. It's cold out here. Once settled, in the tub I took a moment to meditate and then told Yanas, I am ready. T'lana puts her hands on the sides of my head and my world went dark. T'lana said, you are now in my head baby. I felt her moving in my mind. Going past the mental blocks T'Rel placed in my mind. Sorting through memories. I trusted her. I loved her and I needed her. Your wife walks out of the shadows I am here sweetheart I can't stay long. I ran up and hugged her tight. Kissing her passionately. I ran my hands through her hair. Gods I missed you. I don't have long. Did you meet my T'lana? Yes my love and can not be happier you found your true love. I am happy you moved on baby, Hugs and kisses you so much passion. Honey I was brought here to say our good-byes. Remember I always loved you.**

**I missed you. I know you have to go. It's so hard letting go of you. I love you so much. I am so sorry. If I never took that last mission, you and our child would be alive. Please forgive me. **

**You are always in my head holding her tight I said and in my heart. Stepping back, I say good bye my love. Honey our baby is here too, thanks to your wife and her mom. Look honey our daughter she is alive and well, hands you the baby I was carrying when we died. T'lana and her mom wanted you to see her. I couldn't hold back. I dropped to my knees holding the beautiful baby that never was.**

**Crying she is so beautiful. What did you name her? I named her after your mother. Margie. She is so sweet. T;lana, If you can hear me thank you and your mom for this. I gently kissed the baby and handed her back to Elondra. Shaking I try to stand. Is it time now? No honey, not you someone else is helping T'lana and her mom.I can feel his presents.**

**I ask, Who? I do not know him baby but he is there with you and T'lana and is helping .It doesn't matter its so good to be a family again. I am happy baby. We love you so much. Kissing you. Brushing my hand through your hair. I love you so much. I will always love you, we have to leave not my love. We all had jobs to do and we did them the best we could. You can't blame yourself for what happen. Kissing you. I hold you tight. I will always love you. Wait for me. One day I will be here with you. I love you my love now and always. Next time you see us we will be a family again. I love you so kisses you and takes our baby back. I will wait for you...good bye for now baby.**

**I tried so hard but the sorrow and grief was so great I sobbed with raw grief. I wake in the hot tub and see father holding me with his head to mine. He wakes up. Hi son, T'lana passed out half way in the dream state. Are you well enough to stand and help me take here into the house. I swallowed hard. Is she all right? I help get her up out of the tub and dried off. I wrapped her up in her robe and Jar'don scooped her up and carried her into the bed to rest.**

**Once she was settled. I looked at Jar'don . My eyes were filled with pain. I grabbed his shoulder and in a ragged voice said take me to the beach now please. I don't want anybody to see.. Please hurry. Jar'an it's mom. Are you all right son? No take me to the beach please. T'lana can't see me like this.**

**Jar'don scooped me up and drove me to the beach. I climbed out and threw up. Screaming and sobbing with grief and sorrow. Sobbing so hard I tripped over a small piece of drift wood and just screamed out all the pain and sorrow I had been holding back for so long. Jar'don ran over and held me as I just stared out into the ocean screaming out her name over and over. Shaking and sobbing with grief. T'lana opened her link and asked, Dad, mom, did we do wrong helping my husband?**

**Jar'don had called Julian before he ran over to hold me. He transported straight over and ran down the beach to hold me. He gave me a shot and I slowly began to calm down. I looked at Julian with big tears in my eyes. I got to say good bye Jules. It hurts so much. He gave me another shot and I blacked out. Jar'don scooped me up and carried me back into the house and placed back in bed with T'lana. Jar'don and Jules stays watch over us. Jules never leaves our side all night long and dad stays close too. I woke up for a brief second as Jar'don carried me back inside the house. He placed me in my bed to rest. He touched his head to mine to see if we were all right. He asked Ezri if she was all right.**

**Ezri was scared. He had so much grief welled up. There was so much pain. He won't talk to me. He just sits there shaking and rocking inside. I'm scared daddy. T'lana Takes a deep breath and sighs, daddy as we both call out. How is jar'an? We are worried about him, Mommy please help us all. About noon the next day, I began to stir. I raised up but had to brace myself. I was real dizzy. Jules woke up and came over to see me. How do you feel? I feel like somebody gave me a really big shot. He snickered. You were screaming your head off at the beach.**

**Even the servants here could hear you. Jules please help me up. I need to go to the bathroom. Laughing he scooped his shoulder under my arm and guide me over to the bathroom. After I got finished. I got cleaned up and opened the door. Jules, T'lana and Jar'don were staring at me. Ezri was shaking inside me. She said you loved her so much. I thought you had gone insane again. I said no Ezri. I'm not fine. But I am better.**

**It feels stuffy in here. Lets all get some air and maybe some coffee. The servants heard and already were pouring the cups as we all moved outside to the patio table. Trina came over to see about me as we were sitting down. I said Im ok folks. It will take me some time to sort out my feelings but I'm ok. Looking at Trina. You remember how beautiful Elondra was. I got to see her again and hold our child in my arms. I started to cry. She would have been so beautiful. I closed my eyes for a moment. Thank the gods we have our children now.**

**Looking in your eyes. I didn't want you to see that. Seeing me sobbing for another woman. It was just so much held back for so long. I lean forward and kiss you so passionately. I didn't care who saw. For a moment we glowed. All four of our spirits united in love. Trina was frightened but so happy for us. Jules and Jar'don were crying from all the joy and love they were feeling. I looked deep into her eyes seeing her her spirit and her mother's spirit.**

**And I simply said I love you. Yanas glowed with love inside. And Ezri began to glow too. I offered a toast. Here is to love. It's beauty, It's power, It's grace, and it's cost. To it's joys, and to it's sorrows. Looking over at Jar'don, I said no more homes divided. Here's to love. And to the family we built. T'lana Gets up and walks back into the house crying and wondering if she did the right thing giving my husband a chance to say goodbye. Sits in her own garden on the step to the shrine in tears.**

**Jar'don now satisfied that I am ok says, I need to go home and take care of matters there. I will check in on you two in a few Trina goes inside and checks on the babies and sees T'lana crying. Walking over This tall strong beautiful blue woman smiled at her and sat down beside her. Holding her with her big long arms Trina whispered. He loves you. You know this. Just a second ago when you two kissed your spirits glowed. I came over and looked at the two of them. Trina looked up at me she motioned me over and got up and gave me her spot. I kissed her cheek and said thank you.**

**I sat down and waited till she went outside. Honey, Why the tears. See I am here. And I am better now. You will never loose me to any other woman. I love you. And now, I feel even more at peace with myself. I'm still going to check with the Doctor and with T'Rel but I do really feel better. Thank you so much for what you did. T'lana I love you too, But I saw what mom showed me and I could not help feel your sorrow and I was so afraid I was losing control and blacked out if dad haven't of caught me I would be dead. He held me long enough to help you. I told Yanas if this was going to risk you not to do it. Daddy joined with us. I had no idea you had passed out. Thank the gods you are all right. I hug you tight and kiss you passionately. T'lana said, Mom had no idea what had happen, It was quick I wanted you to have your chance to say good bye baby. Kisses you so much passion**

**I heard a knock on the door. I looked up and Polly had beamed over to check on her husband and on you and me as well. I stood up and Polly ran into my arms hugging me tight. Whispering I am go glad you two are all right. She lets go of me and hugs T'lana tight too and kisses her passionately. Clearing my throat Polly backed off quick. She got so embarrassed. I'm sorry I missed my sister. Giggeling, I leaned closed and kissed Polly too. I said you know, whenever you two kiss you do it so well. I really must take notes or something. Polly knows that something is wrong and says come sister Let's go for a walk and we can talk .the children will be ok.**

**T'lana said, Polly I almost died helping the man I love and if dad had not showed up and grabbed me I would have never come back, I look inside myself. Ezri, Go tell your mom I am cross with her for risking T'lana. Rubbing my chest. I'm fine. Please do as I ask. We can't keep depleting her energy like that. It was different when the both of you were inside keeping her powered up but now its only Yanas. We have got to be more careful. Yanas said, Son I did not mean to put my children in danager, I called out for Jordon to help T'lana and he did. I thought T'lana was with child. It scared me that she was in the tub and pasted out. No Yanas she can't be with child. Her tubes are cut and tied. It's the dramatic power loss. T'lana got too used to the both of you being inside.**

**Keeping her powered up. Now its only you Yanas. No more risks. This time she could have died. No more risks. Understand? T'lana rubbed her chest, mother please don't do what your thinking, You are my life force with out you I can die. I love you daughter very much. She will need another enzyme inhibitor shot. **

**Jules. please find T'lana scan her. She has an enzyme balance issue due to Ezri's absence. She will need a shot. Also Jules, I know I said anytime but I cant risk T'lana. She and I have to get allot stronger. Jules starts yelling for T'lana and finds her and Polly on the beach, holding me in her arms. Honey help me with T'lana she is weak and tired. She fell asleep in my arms. I drive up in the cart. What happened? Yanas, where are you. Dont do this. We need you. T'lana's body has an enzyme. With you gone it will rise to lethal level and kill her. Return to her body. I'm sorry for being cross with you. we need to talk more.**

**We are a family that needs its mother and father. Please Return. Polly pleads with everyone to save her sister, please save her someone help T'lana. Jar'an, Jules please save her. Yanas, Jar'an bring T'lana back to the house and tell Jules what he is to do and I will do the rest. My sprit I did not know with both of us gone she would die. I am sorry. I say, Jules is here and is caring for T'lana. Just please stay. I love you to you stubborn spirit. Yanas said, to lay my daughter on the bed and give her the meds she needs to live and I will do the rest. Jules, come on mother help us here .I have given the meds that T'lana needs now save her please,.**

**Ok Polly, I can't pick her up. It will over stress my heart. Help Jules get her in the cart. We get her loaded up and off back to the house. We get her snuggled in the bed and Jules gives her the shot she needs. Ok Yanas, the rest is up to you. Yanas reenters T'lana's body and minutes go by and still nothing is happening, T'lana honey its mom can you hear me? I'm scanning with my med kit. I show Jules. I say Yanas. Help her, please. T'lana wakeup it your mother. Jar'an can you hear me son/If you can Call to her ,i think she is mad at me. JAR'AN CALL TO T'LANA OMG no my has crossed over ,,please save her someone.**

**Jules scanned T'lana again. no change. He scanned me. I really don't like this. He gives me a shot. Ouch. That shot hurts. What is that? Jules shows me the scanner and says you have the same enzyme balance issue. Ezri can't leave you. I link with T'lana. T'lana come back to me. It's ok now. Mother did not understand.**

**She needs you. I need you, Our babies need you. Hear their voices. Hear mine. I love you with all my heart. Please come back to me. T'lana said, I cant so tired and weak help me baby help me. I said, come to me. Feel my love. Feel my strength. Grab my hand and walk with me as you did before. Jules is scanning. Her enzyme balance is balancing out coming back down to normal levels. T'lana said, Jar'an I so tired finds you and takes your hand. Don't let go Please our babies' don't let me go. I am here honey I've got you. Just walk with me. I know its dark but I can see just stay by my side and walk back across this bridge here with me.**

**T'lana Takes your arm and hand and walks back to the other side and back to the light. I see mom and Ezri and they are smiling and waving at us. See, just a little further and we can all be together. I am here honey I've got you. Just walk with me. I know its dark but I can see just stay by my side and walk back across this bridge here with me. T'lana I can't so tired and you cant save me, Mom, Ezri come sister we all can go back just hold your husbands hand and get going your almost back to your time and world. T'lana its me Curzon listen to me girl your no quitter and I will be damn if I will let you stop now. Now move and be with your family**

**Yes, T'lana, Listen to your Dax. He needs you too. But not as much as your family and me do. Just a few more steps girl and we will be there. Scanning, Jules said hurry Jar'an. Your blood pressure is going up. T'lana Sighs ,Jar'an dont let go. I see Polly and Julian standing over us. Concentrating, come back with me. Kissing you we began to glow again. Ezri, Yanas help me getting weak. It's hard to breathe. Ezri, hurry. I can't hold this link much longer. My head hurts. T'lana said, Than leave me here and I will find away back soon, Like hell Curzon says and touches our heads and we appear back in our bodies.**

**Gasping for air I grab my chest. Jules gives me a blood pressure shot. The pain starts to ease.. My breathing slows. The pain eases. T'lana So tired and cant wake up, Jar'an can you hear me? Checking my heart Jules sighs, thank god. You two are going to give me a heart attack. Soon I got my breathing under control and could speak. I'd die for her. I hear you my love. Rest now. Let Yanas rest too. Ezri and I are very tired as well.**

**T'lana said, JAR'AN, PLEASE I MOST SAY THIS,,,,,,I LOVE YOU AND WOULD DIE FOR YOU. And I you my love.. T'lana Goes to sleep so tired and not able to move. I ask Jules and Polly to please stay and look after the babies while we sleep. Polly nodded yes and went to go get her child and bring her inside with the other babies. That's some mommy you married their fellow. Jules smiled. And the benefits are pretty good too. We will stay in the guestroom just down the hall.**

**T'lana asked, baby you here, reaches out for you. I need you i love you. Jules looked around to make sure nobody would hear or see. Ezri, placing his hand on my chest. I love both of you. Please take care of him. I reach out to T"lana and snuggle up close. I am here baby everything is all right just rest now. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. T'lana Cuddles up close and holds you tight.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Four / Segment One.**

**(Life's Changes)**

**T'lana stirred and wakes up ,and wonders what happen to us last night. I feel so drained and tired, but better for some reason. Rolls over and looks at Jar'an and hears dad snoring in the chair next to the bed. Giggles where we sick last night? I stirred and started yawning and stretching, I roll over and kiss you. Good morning baby. You feel better today? T'lana said, I feel ok, I feel tired but I also feel better than I have in along time. What happen to my shoulder? Look at the mark on it. Where did that come from? Looks like hands pushing me along.**

**I said, You had a medical problem and passed out in the hot tub. Your dad and I had to drag you up out of the tub. T'lana asked, what happened? Last thing I remember is helping you say your good byes. I snuggled up and kissed your cheek. Yea, we probably should not have done that. You and I have the same enzyme problem. It's under control now. Listening to him snore, your dad is going to be really sore sleeping like that. Jules and Polly are watching the kids. They are asleep in the guestroom.**

**T'lana Smiles, and laughs at dad, his poor neck .Why do I have a hand mark on my shoulder? Did you get to see your first wife and say goodbye to her and your daughter? Frowning, I said, Yes, I did. It was hard. But I did it. Hugging me, are you ok baby?**

**Wiping the tears from my eyes, The memory is still a little raw in my mind. T'lana said, mom and I gave you a chance for peace, I hope we where not wrong. I took a deep breath, Honey its never wrong to help another find peace. When she died I went insane. I never really was allowed to grieve her loss. Yesterday, after she left, it all just came flooding back. T'lana asked, why did Curzon push me and how did he do that? It was hard bringing you back from the link. Curzon helped. He pushed us both. I show you the hand mark on my back. Now, lets get some coffee and get our family all woke up and sent home. T'lana said, ok baby, I love you so much.**

**Kissing you, I love you too. Rest here. I will get the coffee. I came back with a cup and a bowl of Melon and berries. Grinning as you lit up at the site of the food. I took the other cup and set it down on the table next to Jar'don. The smell woke him up but he was too stiff to move very fast. Snickering, I rubbed the kinks out of his neck shoulder and back. I said you are getting too old for this. I love you for it but man you really pulled a muscle in your shoulder. T'lana Laughs how's our children are they doing ok? Dad you need time in the hot tub. She giggles.**

**Jar'don looked up at me. Snickering I said go ahead. Not the first time I seen you naked. Jar'don pointed his finger. Don't watch. Laughing, will you get out of here all ready? T'lana snickered, sitting in bed sipping coffee and eating my fruit laughing. The guest room door opened and a sleepy eyed Polly came stumbling out. I stood there and snickered, Looks like you did some more flying last night. With a crooked smile she walked over and hugged me so warmly. She yawned and said I'm so glad you both are feeling better. I looked over at T'lana and she snickered.**

**I said Polly, there is a robe in the bathroom. You might want to go put it on. Looking around she said Oh shit I'm naked. She turned and ran back into the guestroom and grabbed the robe. She came straggling back out so red faced with , I gave Polly a big bear hug. And whispered in her ear. You felt good. She whispered in my mind. Any time.. Laughing I said go climb in the bed with T'lana I will get you some coffee and fruit. I came back with two coffees and two bowls of fruit and we talked and giggled. Just like we did when she first came to us.**

**Jules came out of the guestroom and stopped and looked at all of us in the bed. He started snickering and then just cracked up. Shaking his head. He pointed at us. What a site you three make. We were covered in grape, berry and melon juice and laughing our heads off. T'lana said, I love you all. I'm sorry for scaring you all last night. I said, You know, we all have a habit of looking to and holding on to way too much history. We all have a past. But together we are all going to create one hell of a future. So here is to living today and loving tomorrow.**

**T'lana Smiles I so agree my love, I may need to visit someone. Perhaps he will not be so nice about it. You mean Curzon? T'lana said yes. I need to thank him for helping. We all toasted and laughed, then I heard something. It was lilianna moaning. Peaking out the window we saw Jar'don floating around all tangled up with Lilianna. I said he looks more relaxed. Everybody cracked up. T'lana said in her mind link, Curzon was a very dangerous man when he was alive and was never my lover but I need to know why he killed a friend of mine. I told her, He saved your life last night so I'd say your even. T'lana said, He did what? How did he save my life last night?**

**I said, I didn't want to ruin the mood but I couldn't bring you all the way back across. My blood pressure skyrocketed and my heart was straining. He came up out of your dax and pushed us both back across. T'lana said, wow, He was always out for him self. Thank you Curzon. I said, We have a wonderful future to look forward to. Hey everybody lets freak out our two lovebirds and walk out naked and go play in the pool. T'lana laughs. Jules looked at Polly and she grinned wickedly. T'lana looks at Jar'an and winks, I love you honey. Jules played around and did a strip tease for the girls. They howled at him and I got naked. They stripped down and we all just walked outside like nothing is happening and walked up to the pool.**

**We all walked right past the two lovers saying good morning. Lilianna cracked up giggling and Jar'don just shook his head and said show off. We all laughed and splashed and played in the pool. Jules dived in and splashed me. He came up and saw Polly and T'lana kissing. I linked with him. Polly never told you. He turned and faced me. Laughing so hard T'lana swam over to Jar'an and kisses him with so much passion.**

**Polly kissed Jules very passionately, playing with him under the water. She said, I grew up liking girls. My first time with a boy wasn't pleasant so I learned to love girls. T'lana and I were lovers for many years. But she has taken a man. And pulling him close, and so did I. As she kissed, she reached down and squeezed something that made Jules gasp. And he kissed her so passionately. She wiggled around and mounted him and they forgot everybody and began to make passionate love.**

**I of course began getting romantic with T'lana on the pool lounge chair. T'lana laughs and giggles massages something making me Gasp. Smiles whisper in your ear I love you. MMMMMMmmmm drowning my moan in your mouth as we kissed. I slid all the way inside. I opened my eyes and Lilianna and Jar'don were leaning on the edge of the hot tub watching us. We both look up and start to laugh. We all had the same thought. Before Jar'don could react we all climbed up out of the pool and jumped in the hot tub splashing the both of them. Each of us found our own little corner of the tub and began making out again. Lilianna giggled and wrapped her little legs around Jar'don. Next thing I knew she was moaning. Polly ever the show off got really loud. We all laughed.**

**T'lana was laughing and kissing me with so much passion and massaging me. We made love slowly and gently so I would not strain my heart any more. We just held each other close. The girls looked at each other sharing a personal mental message that made Lilianna felt so much more a part of the family. We just held each other feeling the warmth of the tub and our love. T'lana hugs and kisses me so long and deep. After a long hour of relaxation. Jar'don used his mind link to talk to everybody. He said, Well this was a first. Lilianna chimed in moaning. T'lana chimed in snickering. Polly and Jules were off in lala land flying again.**

**I said now I feel so much better. Ezri, you peaked.. Yanas you too? Ezri snickered, Its only fair. You felt us. They both laugh and went back to sleep. Mira had washed and folded some towels and robes for us. She scurried away back inside and came back out with a large pitcher of sweet tea and some glasses.**

**Seeing me watching her she giggled and scurried away. Everyone gets covered up and comes to the table. I said, How about Cheese burgers and Fires all around? Lilianna asked what is a cheese burger? T'lana said, It's yummy, Jar'an knew when I was pregnant that's what I would crave. I said, Thank Gods your not. We need to get these out of diapers first. Mira helped me with all the plates. I pulled up another chair and told her to join us. Lilianna took one bite and her eyes went wide. This is wonderful. We all laughed and wiped spills off our chins. T'lana said, And what if I was pregnant, Jar'an**

**I said, Well you cant be. Your tubes were cut and tied. We talked about this. You need the rest from all of the baby making. It was too ruff on your body last time. Besides, we have three beautiful babies and I want to spend some years raising them and playing with their mother. Jules scanned T'lana to check up on her. Your enzyme level is affecting your feelings of pregnancy. It's still a little out of balance. She gives her a small shot. That should do it. Looking deep into her eyes, You remember how it was when your hormones went out of balance and you had to take those pills? It's kind of like that.**

**T'lana said, I know honey was only joking. Jules motioned me over. All right Jar'an sit down here so I can scan you. Your enzyme level is now low. He gave me a small shot. T'lana asked Is he having enzyme balancing problems? Just like me? That means Ezri may not be able to come back to me. I said, we don't know that yet. But there is a chance she may have to stay. T'lana shivers, It is cold out here need my jacket. Be right back baby. I asked, Honey what's wrong. It's not cold outside. Are you not feeling well? T'lana asks, Jules, can having this problem could it make us feel sick? Like having a cold. I feel like I am shaking all over honey, Mira brings my jacket to me. Thank you Mira.**

**Jules scans us and sees we need another shot with a higher dosage. Jules said, Its possible. I will have to compare my findings with your doctor at the hospital. T'lana said, I am freezing maybe I should go inside and soak in the tub for a while. I look at Jules. Polly chimed in. She said, We are staying Jules. Go call your doctor friend. I chimed in, Jules, use my office. After sleeping all day and keeping warm. I wake up to seeing everyone in our room. What's going on? Why is everyone here?**

**I snuggled up in the bed with you. Well you were feeling cold on a warm day. Obviously, something is not right. T'lana said, I was just tired thats all and we have been thru alot in the last 2 days. I added, Which is why we were all concerned. Jules she is awake. I asked, What about Yanas. How is she? T'lana said, mom is better and getting stronger, I think with her leaving it almost killed me. Using my mind link because my emotions won't let me speak. You did. I had to guide you back across. I almost didn't make it. Curzon pushed us back. Kissing you passionately. I love you so much.**

**T'lana said, Maybe that's why I was so cold and tired. Smiling, well the last scans we ran on you are almost normal. Maybe you and Polly can pop some popcorn and watch something special. T'lana asked watch what? Well, if you feel up to watching some Television, I have been called before the counsel over our community improvements. T'lana said, yes my love I am up to watching Television. Ok Polly and Jules are here. Mira are you ready? Mira said yes sir. Mira is going with me to represent her people.**

**Besides, I have a surprise for her. T'lana kisses me, ok honey I am going to rest anyway and wait for you. Ok lets go Mira we have only a few minuets. Mira put on a beautiful sun dress T'lana said you look beautiful. We stepped up on the transporter pad I blew you a kiss as we shimmered away. The crowd was large but everybody made way for Jar'don Mira and me. Inside the counsel chambers. Mira began to shake. I've never been here. It's so big. I gently squeezed her hand to reassure her. T'lana and Polly were eating popcorn watching the broadcast on television. The crowd got real quiet as Mira and me walked up to the podium.**

**High Minister Telora, called the meeting to order. We are gathered here first to say welcome back to these hallowed halls Jar'an Tigan. You are missed. The crowd erupted in applause. After they died down Telora asked, Is this T'lana? Did she take a new host? Smiling, No madams high minister. Mira here is the servant girl that told me of her people and the needs they had. She worked hard and never asked for anything for herself. Mira here had never seen the big city or even this counsel chamber. She is here to represent her people.**

**Minister Telora stood. Then it's for her people I speak to you about. I am honored to know you as my brother Trill, and as my friend. All of Trill has had their prayers answered when you survived your heart surgery. Now the people of our low lands have had their prayers answered by you helping meet the there needs. Stepping down from the podium Telora walks over to Mira. Smiling, she asked, and what shall we call you young lady. She looked at me. I nodded. I am called Mira. Mira of the low lands. I and your people are very proud of you and your service to Jar'an and to your people.**

**I understand from Jar'an that you started college but had to leave do to money concerns. Stepping back and climbing back up to her elevated seat at counsel podium. She stood addressing Mira. From this day forward you Mira will never have that concern again. Both You and your people will have an ongoing scholarship to Capital city college. You and your people will get the degree's you have worked so very hard for. The crowd erupted in applause again. Mira screamed out in joy jumping up and down and hugged me tightly.**

**The crowd died down. Ministers. When I left here I did not know I would be alive to see this day. I have been honored and humbled by a love that has no words. Looking around at the crowd and the cameras. And also by a people who have no equal. I can say to all of you. Thank you. Your love saved my life and helps my heart grow stronger every day. There are so many out there that needs not a hand out, but a hand up. After all, Love as we know it, really isn't love till we give it away. Mira of the low lands. From this day forward you will have allot of hard work ahead of you, but I know you will succeed. My faith is in your future and the future of our people.**

**Jar'an Tigan The ministers all stood and applauded her along with the whole crowd in the room. The applause died down. Mira stepped up. When I left my beloved low lands, I never thought I'd meet a man like you. Or live near a city like this. The love you have shared. The home you have provided has enriched my life beyond any price. Thank you all. The applause was deafening. The minister's adjourned the counsel meeting and we started to leave. Just then, a reporter hollered out. Are you going to come back and be our High Minister again?**

**I froze at the thought. Turning back to the camera's I know I have been away for a long time. My doctors still want me to rest and heal up some more. I feel your love every day. And when the time comes. I will consider it. For now, I am able to help a great may of my brothers and sisters. So for now, I am going to take this pretty lady to go register for college and get something to eat. I love you all. Jar'don took up Mira's other side and we shimmered away before any more questions could be asked. T'lana and Polly turned off the television and took a nap. A couple of hours later, we got back from the college and a very excited Mira came in and checked on the babies. T'lana and Polly woke up and Mira gave T'lana a big hug and asked her if she wanted something.**

**T'lana said I thought you were off to college. Mira said I have to wait till the end of this semester then I can register. I said till then she is welcome to continue her duties here. Mira hugged me again. Thank you for all this. She went back to her room to change back into her uniform and went back to work.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Five / Segment One.**

**(Burnout)**

**My request has troubled you. It should. It troubles me. Seeing your family coming back together. Feeling their love. Until you, I've never felt that before. Never felt like I belonged anywhere or to anyone. I remember how she looked in my arms. T'lana felt my sorrow as I remembered She was so beautiful. I could have the worst day imaginable and she could wipe it all away with a single look and smile. Looking at T'lana, I smile. Just like what you do now. The day she died she called out my name. I climbed up on the bio bed with her and held her in my arms. My hands were shaking then too.**

**She looked up at me and said I love you. Crying at the image burned in my mind. That's all she said and then she stopped moving. I didn't think a body could hurt so much inside and live to talk about it. I shook my head pulling back refocusing my mind to the here and now. Yansas. Comes out to look for Jar'an. Son, are you here? Ezri, honey, its mom. Why can't you return to your sister? Ezri said, It's too soon. Using his mind the way he does puts a strain on his heart. If I leave now he could die. T'lana began to panic, Please do not let my husband die sister. Please I beg you to save him over me. Promise me you will keep my baby alive for us all. Looking inside myself, Ezri, You know I can feel you. What else is wrong? T'lana asks, Can we go home now doctor? Looking back inside my mind. Ezri? Inside my mind she looked up at me. I can't change back. I ask, Yanas, can you help Ezri? T'lana said, Yes, Please, mom can you please help sister?**

**Yanas said I will check baby. She has been in there for a long time. I think she has over used her power and needs to rest. She cant leave Jar'an any way. His heart won't take the stress right now. Jar'an Tigan I put my hand on my chest to comfort Ezri. I whisper to her. Rest and relax. You got so upset the other day. Trying to deal with all the new emotions has spent your energy reserves and you must rest. T'lana, Lets go home.**

**Turning to the doctor. Thanks doctor. I'm sorry for the emergency. The doctor said It's ok. Looking around at the nurses, we all know how much you two love each other. Thank you everybody. The doctor said now let me scan you. (Scanning). Yep just as I thought. I lighten up on you and you stress your heart. You have to slow down. Leaning close, nose to nose, He tapped on my chest. And said it loud and clear. No more stress do you understand? I said yes Sir I'll go home and rest. I promise. The doctor backed up and said, ok you both can go. I help T'lana to stand and we said our good byes and shimmered away back home.**

**I promised the doctor Id rest so I scooped T'lana up and put her in bed and climbed back in with her. Giggling, T'lana said, I love you so much baby. Mom I love you and our family more than anything. Yanas said, I think Jar'an is right. We all need to rest. I will try to help Ezri later. I am sorry my lovely family. It seems I took a risk using my mind link the way I did. Ezri, It's ok. Don't be frightened. You did nothing wrong. I have no regrets helping you and your mom find happiness. I can't use my mental construct for a while. My body and my heart have been stressed feeling everything there. Yanas and Ezri blushed. You felt everything we did. Smiling wickedly. I said every moan. We are just burned out from over use. So we are going to be talking this way for a while.**

**T'lana said, I can't talk to you this way, sighs mommy help me. Ezri ,,I am scared help me. I said, Worry wart! Calm down..You are suffering a burn out from over use. That's why the head aches. Oh, and by the way. Next time you start having headaches please tell me sooner. T'lana sighs, honey, this is my entire fault. Mommy and Ezri I am sorry. I started laughing, Worry wart!, and the doctor tells me to relax.**

**We got together and made our family happy. We will do it again. Just not for a month or so. You did nothing wrong brushing her nose with mine, so stop worrying. Let's take a nap. Rolling you over I begin rubbing your back and shoulders to make you relax. T'lana said, Thank you baby. I asked, Yanas was she this way growing up? Yanas said, Yes my son always just like me. I said, laughing. I love you all so much. Yanas, Jar'don called me a pain in the butt. I guess I am really part of the family. Rubbing the small of your back working out the muscles all the way up.**

**T'lana said, mmmmm that feels so good baby, Dont stop. Rubbing my hands up and down. I stop and rolled over and got the lotion. I rub some on my hands and rub the dry skin of your legs. And slowly worked each little toe. Spoiling her mercilessly. T'lana Giggles, laughing so hard that tickles. I gently rolled you over to face me and started on the other leg. Working my way up, I grinned at you wickedly. T'lana Raised up and kissed me. I love you baby, That feels so good.**

**Caressing your abdomen, my fingers found their way and made you moan. T'lana reacted, mmmm, baby. Sliding my fingers inside. Feel better now? T'lana said, Yes my love omg don't stop. Kissing you, I brought you to orgasm and we settled down cuddled up close. I leaned down to her ear. Yanas, you were peaking again.. T'lana blushes, laughs, Oh god mom. Snickering, I said, Your mother is a dirty old lady.. T'lana blushes and laughs. Laughing, Yanas said I'm not dirty. T'lana laughs. Mom stop watching us. I added please Yanas, besides, after Jardon, I thought you would be tired. I whispered in T'lana's ear. I said you can still feel him cant you.. Grinning wickedly and hugging herself, yes son I can. Snickering, I said, Glad I could make you happy. The poor boy is a little sore. He went home and wore out Lilianna too. T'lana smiles I am glad everyone is happy now. Snuggling, MMMMMmmmm this feels good. Ok ladies. Let's get some sleep. We can play tomorrow.. T'lana hugs and kisses her hubby, I love you so much.**

**Kissing her forhead and then her lips, And I love you too. Even your peeping tom of a mother. T'lana laughs. Mom, stop watching us making out. Laughing, I said, Yes. You taught her well. She is real good at it. Just like her mom.. T'lana Giggles. I love you Jar'an with all my heart and soul. Wrapping my arms around you I snuggle up. I love you too, my spotted princess. Now ladies lets go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and we will have fun then. Finally we got comfortable and warm and went to sleep.**

**The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Six / Segment One.**

**(A Family Restored)**

**T'lana Wakes up to a beautiful morning, my loving husband in my arms My mother and sister in my thoughts and my father and brothers. I love my family so much. I sure hope dad can forgive mom so she could rest allot more easily and at peace. Daddy, please forgive mom and come with us to see her and talk to her. Thats all we ask. Looking out at the ocean, I see something. T'lana says what? Well, I'm not sure. Looking through the binoculars. It's a man sitting on the beach. Refocusing and enhancing the image. It's your father.**

**T'lana ask is he all right? I think so. I will go talk to him. Raising my hand, I know you want to go too but. I think he has been crying. Please understand. Sometimes us males sometimes need to be alone. I meditate. He apparently goes to the beach. He might open up more to me if I am alone. If I need you I will use my link to call you. T'lana was worried. But he is my father! Then let me go to him alone and talk to him. Looking into your eyes, Please stay here. Yanas, you too. This may be the opening we need to set this right. I grab my medical scanner and phaser pistol and climbed in the ground transport and went out to the beach boardwalk.**

**Walking down the board walk. I felt Ezri getting nervous. Steady Ezri, If this goes right, you just might get to talk to him. I walked up next to him and just sat down. I didn't say a word. Jar'don took a sideways glance at me. And said, you know you are a real pain in the butt. I said yes. It's an annoying bad habit of mine. But you know I'm right. Jar'don sat back. You got your problems. And I got mine. I never chastised you in front of T'lana when you screwed up. Looking down at the sand I said, I thought about that last night. I'm sorry I did that.**

**But I needed to get through that hard head of yours. You didn't. Lilianna did. Told me to get out of the house last night. I have been here all night thinking. Do you know why I come here sometimes? Throwing a small stone in the water, The first time I ever saw Yanas she was swimming in the ocean. She walked up out of the water naked and it just took my breath away. Apparently. She had noticed me watching her as she swam.**

**She walked up and smiled. And said see anything you like. All I could say was "A great many things." She laughed and sat down next to me. I didn't dare touch her. She was stunningly beautiful. The second she grabbed my hand I fell in love with her. She said lets go swimming. I swam all that day, both in the water and in my mind. On the very next date we went to a lagoon much like the one you described and we kissed and made out. I'm no real pro at lovemaking but we just seemed to know instantly what pleased the other. That was my first introduction to the link.**

**Meanwhile, back at the house. T'lana Sits back with Liianna and watches from a far, wondering if everything is going ok. Lilly and I sat there just talking away about our husbands and our children. How much we both love this island and our families. I was a decent clean cut kid from a good family. When I met her parents I was really nervous.**

**They accepted me almost immediately. I thought I was the luckiest man in the world. Little did I know she harbored love for another man. Her parents were on a mission to see to it they never got back together. We married young and I worked for the family to care for her. I was so deliriously in love with her. **

**Yanas got pregnant and I was walking on air. Just before birth her mother died of congenital Heart disease. We had Yanas checked and well like you, she had a bad heart. The birth nearly killed her. The doctor removed her birth sack so she couldn't have any more children. I was so heartbroken. I came from a large family and wanted a large one for myself.**

**Well when T'lana was about 6 or was it 7 years old? Anyway, I had made friends with a Vulcan family who had given birth the same day in the room next to us. You know they try to hide their feelings, but when I had their trust they shared them openly with me. T'pol was their first child. We would put them together and they would touch hands and giggle at each other. When T'lana was 8 I think. Their was a real bad transporter accident and both my friends were killed. Their atoms ripped apart. I filed and got the adoption papers without Yanas knowing or approval. That's when the arguing started. First it was little things. Then one night out of resentment she told me about that miner boyfriend of hers and about Ezri. It would have been more merciful if she stabbed a knife through my heart. Here I was forcing a Vulcan child on her and she wanted to go find her first child and try to get her back to raise her.**

**I was furious. Her father was grooming me to take over. I confronted him about her lover. I was demoted to some menial job. And Yanas was locked out of his will. She blamed me for that after his death. She loved me. I knew this. But she also loved him. I thought for a moment. And then said, A house divided will not stand. No wonder you have so much anger inside. I'm sorry Jar'don. I really am. I wondered if my love for Elondra would cause me problems with T'lana. **

**I told T'lana all about her. I made a promise to T'lana that we would have no secrets. Elondra died trying to carry my baby. It was so awful I went insane. I realized that my love for T'lana, was just as strong as for Elondra, but was different.**

**Looking at Jar'don, Can I tell you a secret? Since we are out here and nobody else can hear us, I have to tell you, I would sacrifice anything to see Elondra again. To hold her in my arms and feel the power of her kiss. It doesn't mean I stopped loving T'lana. I'd die for her. You know that. But to hold Elondra again and smell that sweet smells her hair had.**

**T'pol had no other parents. You chose to love her. I don't know of any other Trill that has ever done that. Ezri can't help who her father was but if you meet her, I know you will love her. Ezri was shaking inside. I rubbed my chest to calm her. Jar'don asked are you all right? Crying, I said Kira told you what Ezri did for me. He said yes. This will be hard to hear. But she is inside me now. Keeping me alive. Jar'don said What!. She changed herself so she could save me. Jar'don I died in that hospital bed. She went inside me and pulled me back across and saved me for T'lana. Swallowing hard. And also, for you. Jar'don began to cry. Why didn't you tell me? I said you had just became a daddy again and Lilianna was so weak and needed you.**

**I can show her to you. Let you talk to her. To see her and touch her. I went inside myself for a second. Ezri call your mother and tell her to come to the lagoon now but stay invisible. She jumped up inside and vanished. Jardon, do you want to see your step daughter? He was shaking when he held out his hand. I grabbed it and said hold on the first time is a little overwhelming. Also since this is a shared conciseness, nothing is hidden. Everybody will hear and everybody will know. Looking through the binoculars. He is bringing daddy inside the link. I must lie down I can hear Ezri calling for Mommy. She laid down. Lilianna, please watch over me. I may say or do just about anything so say nothing ok? T'lana opened up her link. Telling me we are ready. Jar'don said nothing is happening. I said give me a second.**

**Now close your eyes and lay back on the sand. Then inside I told him to open his eyes. He saw the lagoon and a young girl sitting naked on a blanket. Turning to me he said what the hell is this? I said sorry, Like I said, here nothing is hidden. Not even our bodies. If I told you, you wouldn't have come. Go to her. Go to your stepdaughter. Feel her love for the first time. Walking Jar'don Snickered. said I can see why T'lana likes you so much. Snickering I can see why Yanas and Lilianna like you so much. We both just cracked up and continued walking.**

**A few steps away I called out Ezri. Please come meet your stepfather. She stood up and stared at him for a long moment. Then she smiled and Jar'don heart melted. He dropped to his knees and cried. Ezri started crying too and ran up and hugged Jardon tightly. They said very little just hugged and cried for a long time rocking each other.**

**Pulling back he said you look just like her. A little shorter but just like her. Ezri?. She smiled again and said Hi daddy. And hugged him again. His heart was completely melted. He looked up at me and said thank you. I could sense Yanas behind me shaking like a leaf in the wind. I sat down next to Jar'don who was holding and hugging his stepdaughter. She looked over at me with so much love in her eyes. I had to look away so I could finish what I was trying to say. She nodded her head at me and I said. Jar'don their is somebody else here who is very frightened but misses you very much.**

**Yanas turned and appeared. Jar'dons mouth just fell open. Ezri climbed out of his lap and held my hand. All the years that had passed between them vanished. He jumped up and ran into her waiting arms sobbing with joy. Kissing her so passionately they fell over onto the sand. T'lana came through the gate and stopped dead in her tracks. Crying she dropped to her knees and put her hands to her mouth. I whispered to Ezri, go to your sister. Ezri kissed me so passionately and walked over to T'lana and kissed her for a long time.**

**Jar'don and Yanas completely forgot the whole world around them and began to make mad passionate love to each other. The girls never saw their parents expressing their love. They quietly stayed back and shared their love for each other by just holding each other. Watching the seeds of love grow again in their parents hearts. Drawing back Jar'don saw both his girls and looked around and saw me sitting with my back to them watching the lagoon. Yanas told Jar'don I had missed you so much. I am so sorry for hurting you. Jar'don's heart was melted again. I love you.**

**I have always loved you. I too am sorry for all the hard words I yelled at you. Yanas and Jar'don got up and ran into the lagoon to wash off years of anger and resentment. T'lana and Ezri got up and ran into the lagoon. T'lana grabbed my hand and I said you two go ahead first. Ezri said No. After this moment you are just as much family as any of us. You did this. This great miracle. Anything you or my sister ever want. Anything at all. Just ask and it will be done. I pulled Ezri down so I could whisper something in her ear. Her eyes went wide. She pulled back and said it will be done. I promise.**

**We all went into the water and washed off all the past baggage of our lives. We all had so much fun and it was time to rest from the link so we can come back later to spend time with the family again. T'lana woke up in her bed. Jar'don and I woke up on the beach. He said nothing for a long moment. Then exploded with tears of joy and gave me a crushing bear hug. We cried and hugged for a while then as I pulled back I smelled something.**

**I looked down. And said OOPS. Jar'don looked down and cracked up. I said you might want to go for a long swim and clean up. He said whatever I do there happens here? I said yes. There wasn't enough time to tell you everything. I need to go rest now. Jar'don scooped me up like a sack of potatoes and carried me over to the ground transport. Here he said smiling. He turned and pealed out of his clothes and ran into the ocean yelling "Ya Ho". over and over again. I drove back and went inside. T'lana had an accident in the bed and she and Lilianna were changing the sheets. I snickered and said OOPS!. Poor T'lana just went beat red with embarrassment.**

**Lilianna said their is nothing to be embarrassed about it happens to me sometimes. The doctor said it's because of me having a baby. It makes it hard sometimes to hold it back. I just scooped T'lana up and took her into the showers and soaped her up and washed her off and then made her sticky again by making mad passionate love to her. Lilianna was almost finished making the bed when she heard us moaning. She just sat down on the edge of the bed and laughed and laughed. Just Then Jar'don walked in cold, wet and naked. He scooped Lilianna up and carried her down to their home. It wasn't long before she and Jar'don was moaning too.**

The Lost Trill Chap Twenty Seven / Segment One

(Trills Day of Hell)

The election was a landslide. Everybody said Telora was a great leader but the planets and peoples love for Jar'an was overwhelming. Several weeks before, when he went on Broad Wave and made his announcement to run for election again, a great cheer went out all across the planet. Personally, Telora was relieved. The morning started all quiet and then all hell broke loose.

The planetary alarms and sirens going off shattereing our peaceful morning. T'lana and I leaped out of bed Threw on our one piece uniforms and grabbed Shelly, Mira and the kids and went to the shelter. I ordered the spaceport and servant's quarters evacuated. Phaser blasts were pounding the shield dome. Off in the distance on the main continent smoke was rising up from the ministry building.

I ordered the phaser banks still left onboard the grounded and converted starship saucer sections powered up to lay down cover fire. In orbit, our ships were in a dogfight for their lives. The moon bases were wrecked. One moon base was completely pulverized.

Rising up from their hiding place at the bottom of the ocean, like an avenging angel, 12 huge ion pulsar cannon's took aim and began to annihilate the attacking invaders. Jem hadar mercenaries were obviously hired and sent to disrupt the swearing in ceremony. Nobody knew why. I ordered the Terradine generators powered up and the Ion cannons unleashed a hell storm of phaser blasts.

The federation ship parked in orbit took heavy damage. It was listing in space. Life signs registered as very faint. Then, for an instant Trill had two suns as the ships damaged engines and reactors detonated into a huge fireball. All over Trill, people were screaming, crying, and panicking. I got on the planetary Broad Wave emergency system. My brothers and sisters of Trill.

This beautiful day has been savagely marred by an unprovoked attack by mercenary's hell bent on disrupting the peace our planet so richly enjoys. As you saw, The Ion canons I had secretly added to our planetary defense system were effective in destroying many of the enemy ships. Some have run off. I have issued pursuit orders to hunt them down and kill every one of them. I have to notify our federation visitors on planet that their ship has been destroyed.

Many people have died this day. But I swear their deaths will be avenged. For now, I am asking everybody pitch in and assist with all the rescues and recoveries going on all over the planet. I have sent a planetary distress message with a request for reinforcement, and rescue to the Federation High command. I am also notifying Deep Space Nine and our Bajoran allies of the attack and to be on the alert. I should tell you to remain calm. But I am not going to insult you by doing so.

This day will be remembered and avenged if it takes my last breath. That is all for now. As I know more, you will know more. Folks, we have a lot of hurt and dead to attend to. The swearing in ceremony will continue but out in Ezri Park as our ministry building is damaged. The celebration party will be canceled. I will not celebrate anything till the last one of these murdering bastards has been hunted down and destroyed.

That is all. I switched off the system. Jar'don came running in. He said, a couple of those phaser blasts got past the shield dome and impacted on the far side of the island. Oh Gods, no. I stretched out my link to reach Polly, I screamed out her name in my head. Finally she answered. Coughing she said inside shelter with the kids. Cave in Debris everywhere. Air going bad. Hurry… I told her to stay where she is I'm sending Jar'don and a rescue crew.

I whirled back around and informed Jar'don and he took off with a crew of six. I reached out with my link to Kira. There was no response. I pulled out my communicator, Jar'an to Kira.

I looked up in the sky A pillar of smoke is rising from the area where her house was. I chimed in to T'lana's link. Lot's of trouble out here. T'lana, stay where you are and guard the kids. The ships have gone but we have to sweep the island to make sure they did not land any troops. I jump in a cart and motored out to Kira's house as fast as the little thing would go. Finally I got about 100 feet away and was blocked by a fallen tree and smoking debris from the house.

I ran as fast as I could screaming her name over and over. All I saw was a shred of teal from her torn and bleeding uniform. The wall fragment holding her down on the beach sand was huge and heavy. I used my phaser to slice it into chunks and burned my hands on the hot edges as I threw than aside and uncovered her crumpled body. I hit my auto transport and beamed directly to the hospital. The doctors ran up and took her straight into surgery. I chimed into T'lana, I'm at the hospital. Kira was hurt badly. I had to cut a wall off of her.

Odo is missing. Her house took a direct hit. Polly is hurt too. Jar'don is coming with her and the children. Come back out and put the kids back in the nursery. Leave Mira with them Bring Shelly and get here fast. We will send Shelly back with the kids. They don't need to see any of this carnage. The alarms sounded again as Jar'don shimmered in carrying Polly and the kids in tow. He laid her out on the gurney and gently stroked her hair. Polly was wheezing. The doctor listened to her chest.

Sound's like her left lung was burned. Get her to a room and on O2 asap. Start her on breathing treatments. The doctor checked the kids. No injury but some smoke inhalation. We will give them a breathing treatment and they will be just fine. The press was everywhere taking pictures of my family and me and I was getting irritated.

I was about to blow up on them when T'lana and Shelly shimmered in. T'lana screamed out my name and the crowd parted and they ran up to me. T'lana hugged me hard. My Gods Honey, who would want to burn our beautiful world. I just held her rocking and grieving. Gods honey your hands are burned and bleeding. The crowd of press saw me burned bleeding my uniform covered in Kira's blood. Still holding T'lana in my arms. I looked up at the camera's My people this day was supposed to be one of joy. My heart is broken. Everywhere I can hear and feel the cry's of pain and the sorrows of grieving.

We will recover. We will rebuild. And we will grieve. A minister's assistant ran up. Sir Minister Telora is here in the hospital. Her child is ok but they can't find her husband. She asks for you. I told the doctor, this is Shelly she stay's with the kids I then took T'lana's hand and said lead the way. As I walked away I turned and said you there with the camera, come with us. The world needs to see this. As I walked into her room I held the cameraman back till she was completely covered.

Then we came in and knelt down holding each other grieving. High Minister Telora put her hands on my head and asked are you prepared to accept the love and trust of the people? To protect and defend your brothers and sisters and uphold our laws? I said I do, Then she said rise and receives the bonds of love from all of Trill, Mr. High Minister. I rose and looked out the window on a world scarred by violence and a people filled with rage and sorrow. Then I saw Federation officers working alongside our people helping others. One officer was running down the street carrying an injured Trill sister in his arms. I trained the camera on them. Look my people Our Federation friends do have hearts. We have much to do. The minister's assistant came over to my side. What are your orders sirs. I looked down and placed my hand on his shoulder. I said on this day. No one is to out rank any body else. All are called to help. Our unity is what made us strong and I'll be dammed if I allow it destroyed too.

The assistant hugged me and went outside to lend a hand. You there with the camera stay with me. I want to send a message to all of Trill. People of Trill. The fires are almost out Many are being tended to. Some are being prayed for. Ezri fell out inside me balling her eyes out. Screaming I can't believe anybody would do this. I put my hand to my chest and hugged her as best I could. We need your help now Ezri. Keep me strong. Tell Yanas to do the same for T'lana. It's going to be a long night. Mira and Shelly were watching TV. Mira chimed into my mind link and said stay and do what you must Shelly and I will watch the kids. I said Thank you Mira, Thank you. T'lana held my hand and said, Mom can see through my eyes to what has happen. Oh my gods children.

What happen to our home? I went outside and helped with as many injured as I could. The line seemed to have no end. Everywhere was Cuts, Bruises, Broken Arms, and Legs. The doctors wanted to mend my wounds but I refused. T'lana was cleaning and wrapping the cuts as they came. We ran out of bandages and started cutting up the clean bed sheets. Finally out of sheer exhaustion I had to sit down. Two doctors swarmed me and worked on my hands bandaging them carefully. They told me to lay down on the cot in the tent for a few hours. T'lana followed me. She said nothing just held my hand and my heart.

Dear gods Jar'an look, that child is bringing something to us. The child can't be more than 12 yrs old and is bleeding and hurt. But yet he brings us food and water. T'lana took the food and I picked up the child and cradled him in my arms. He was crying and shaking but trying so hard to be brave. I just sat there holding him offering him what love I had. The little boy tells how his parents are missing and he doesn't know where they are. Baby we will help you fine them I promise. Jar'don walked up. I looked up at him. His face was like stone. The island is secure. We still can't find Odo. Kira's out of surgery they don't know if she will walk again.

Polly will be fine but the scarring on her lung is great. They found Minister Telora's husband. He didn't make it. Jar'don continued, I lost three of my people. One of the security boats out on patrol took a direct hit. The spaceport is damaged. The main house has some minor damage. Polly's home is badly damaged. Kira's home is all but destroyed. I have crews sifting through the wreckage salvaging what they can. T'lana was sobbing and could hear no more. She got up and walks out of the tent and leans down to an old woman who looks to be badly hurt.

She calls for help and helps her to her feet and takes her to the medical tent. Tells her she will be ok and I will try to find your family. I promise, doctor, please take care of her. The doctor responds I will do my best T'lana. Looks around to all the sick and hurt and begins to react. She starts treating and helping as many as she can. Jules came in the tent. I had dosed off. The child in my arms was asleep. He did his best for him and bandaged his wounds. A nurse took him inside. I stirred and asked how bad? Jules wiped the sweat from his head. It's bad, Jar'an. We are stacking people six to ten in a room. The cafeteria freezers had to be used for the dead. Do you know why these creatures did this? No Jules, I don't but I will squeeze it out with their last breath.

The next thing I heard was the sound of Federation officers shimmering in everywhere. Jules said it looks like our relief has arrived. Admiral Cartright came in the tent. My Gods man, are you ok? I looked at my hands and said I have been better. Cartright sat down beside me. I leaned my head on his shoulder. I am tired my friend. He said we have a hospital ship in orbit and two galaxy class battle cruisers patrolling the system. The bastards tried to strafe DS9 and bombed Bajor. Your emergency call came just in time.

Your ship fought a pitch battle with them. She took some damage. Her third nacelle was badly damaged. They managed to do some repairs and are underway at reduced warp to get here. I cried, Ben, I think they killed Odo. Kira is hurt so bad.

She was buried under a wall of her house. I had to cut it up and throw it aside. That's how I burnt my hands. The Doctors say she may never walk again. They blasted their way through our shield dome and strafed us. Ben said, softly, I thought all this was over. I said I know. This is straight out of left field. T'lana refused to rest and is back out there cleaning and wrapping all wounds she can. Jules sneaked a sedative shot on me and laid me back down. Jardon comes in and asks you where is my daughter? They said she was out here in the street helping people. Oh gods, we need to find her and place guards with her. My other children are doing ok, Jar'an your brothers are hurt but both will be alright. We need to find T'lana and get her back here now.

I said Jar'don, you take command of the island I am staying here with our people. I think I saw your daughter working in the hospital nursery. Please tell T'lana to go see to her brothers and their family. Where the hell is T'lana? Has anybody seen the Ministers wife? The doctor says sir she was here about an 1 hour ago. She did not look to well but she would not stop helping her beloved people. She was out there wrapping the wounded. Inside the hospital, room by room the federation doctors and nurses were tending to the wounded and beaming them up to the hospital ship. Within an hour half the hospital was empty. I chimed in to T'lanas mind link. Honey, I need you please come back to the tent. She said I am in the bathroom. I had to throw up. It's the ladies room, 1St floor to the left of the entrance. I told Jar'don and he went after her. Jules you better set that thing for a strong sedative and go with him. Jules snickered, as he left he said you do know your wife don't you.

T'lana heard a knock on the door, Jar'don said, T'lana open the door. She said, its unlocked come in. Dad and Jules come in and see her hanging over the toilet bowl and ask if she was ok. I said no, so many are dead and hurt our family is hurting and Kira's husband may be dead. Oh my gods why did they do this to us.

Jar'don said, None of us know, but I think your husband is going to take the galaxy apart till he finds out.

T'lana said, I really feel sick right now, I can't stand up. How is my family doing? Jules gives me something to calm me down. And dad carries her to Jar'an. Meanwhile, back at the tent. Ben, Please notify Bajor. Their ambassador has been attacked and is critically injured. And please notify the Founders home world leader, Odo is missing and presumed dead. Tell them it was Jen hadar warships. They will know what to do. Tell their leader to please come here. Tell her Robert is hurt. She knows me well. And Ben, please tell her to not touch anything till she gets here. She is to go swim and partially liquefy while in the ocean so the water can flow through her. It contains the cure to their disease.

Ben typed up the message on a pad and passed it off to his assistant. I asked how's the wife and kids? Ben said they are wonderful and yours? A little shell shocked right now but unharmed. Jar'don and Jules carry T'lana back into where you are and lay her down on the bed next to me. We gave her something to calm her down.

T told Ben, I hear T'lana's brothers are injured. I don't know how bad yet. The assistant came back in the tent. He was covered in patches of blood and dirt. Minister, the federation put the fires out. They located all the injured and dead in the ministry building and have beamed them out to safety aboard the hospital ship. I asked, Mister, do you have family? He said yes. I said, well for the next 48 hours I want you with your family, Understand? He said, yes sir and Thank you. It was a pleasure working for you. I said you still are. He smiled and left. Ben said, you still have a way with people, Jar'an.

T'lana wakes up on the bed next to you are you ok honey? I said, shaking, after today I don't know If I am ever going to be ok again. Jar'Don said, you need to go home T'lana your brothers got injured. our servants are tending to them. The kids are frightened and have been asking for us. I will be along later. As leader, I need to be with the people. Four of our security police walked up with two gurneys with covered bodies. Minister, Admiral, The Federation ambassador and his wife were killed in the attack. We just found their bodies. They lifted the sheets and I looked at their faces. I dropped to my knees and cried. I said to the admiral, He worked so hard to make things right for both our people. I told the man in charge of the detail. Keep them together. When we bury them they are to rest for all eternity in each other's arms. He helped me back up. And said it will be done. I whispered Thank you. T'lana said, as your wife I should be by your side. How bad are the boys hurt? I rubbed my eyes. I don't know ask Jar'don. He wants you there. Dad has an escort waiting. She kiss you and hug you. I love you so much. She leaves for home.

Looking to the admiral, Ben, let's go see Kira. He said, yes Id like that. Walking back inside the hospital some of the people bowed. I said, people please, not today. We are all Trill this day. I love you all. Doctor, where did you put Kira? The doctor checked his pad. She is not here. She was beamed up in the first wave of transport to the hospital ship. I said thank you. I got real angry inside. I said to the people. This day, Federation, Trill, and Bajoran blood has been spilled and runs together.

Together, we will hunt down and kill everyone who had a hand in this vicious attack. I will be back soon. I must check on our people up in the hospital ship. The admiral taped his badge and said two to beam up to the hospital ship. Then we shimmered away. On board the hospital ship we stepped of the pad and went and checked on Kira. My heart broke when I walked in that room and saw that beautiful woman looking so small and frail laying there in that bed. There were tubes everywhere. The doctor walked up and whispered something to the admiral. Ben told me he would be right back.

Ezri was sobbing she said I have to try to help her. I placed my hand on hers. I linked into her mind. Kira was so frightened she ran up to me in my mind and said what happened? I said we were attacked. Jen Hadar war ships. Your house was hit hard. A wall hit you and knocked you down. I had to cut it off your body. It hurt you real bad. Ezri is trying to help you.

Kira held me tight. I can feel her roaming around inside my body. I feel numb inside. My hipbone feels wrong. Yes baby, it was crushed. Ezri is trying to fix it. Ezri appeared and hugged Kira. Kissing her passionately she tried to comfort told both of us. Baby you are hurt real bad. So much is broken. I have done what I can for now. I don't have the energy to do it all. I will be back and do some more later. I'm also going to ask my mother to help.

T'lana arrives to the medical ship and was escorted to sickbay. She looks at Jar'an and Kira. I said she needs your help. Your daughter can't do it all. Not saying a word T'lana went to healing Kira and anyone else she needed help. Mom is the one that is here now and working. She nods and Tlana falls to the floor. I break my link with Kira to go to T'lana's aid A doctor ran up with a gurney. I said she is exhausted and so am I. Is their any place we can rest privately? We were taken to an empty room down the hall from Kira and rested.

A few hours later, I was woken up by a sound. It was Yanas spirit slipping through a bulkhead and back in T'lana's body. She said it's ok now. Kira will recover, but she has a long road of healing and therapy. I had to come back this way so the doctors wouldn't see me. Sorry son, I must return to T'lana. She is fading, we will talk more when T'lana is rested. I love you all. She vanished back inside as Admiral Cartright walked in. He said Oh good your awake. We found Odo. He was blown free of the building but is hurt real bad. It looks like radiation burns. He needs his Founder friend real soon. We put him in stasis. I said I experienced this before.

He needs to liquefy and soon. So take him out of stasis and let him liquefy. Then place his liquid state in stasis. He turned to his assistant who was already heading for the door. Ben also said I've notified Bajor they want Kira brought there. And the Founders ship has landed at your spaceport. She is being driven out to the ocean. After she is free of the disease I will beam her aboard and take her to you and Odo. I said good and Thank you for all this. I asked, were their any casualties at DS9? Ben said, Just a few bumps and bruises. Letta got a nasty burn when a computer console exploded on her. But she will be all right. I said please tell her she is welcome at my home anytime. Just like you are my friend. Ben smiled. And said Thank you I will tell her. She could use some time off. Oh, your ship is in orbit. Jake moved his injuries over here. Trank got burned when a power coupling exploded. I cringed, I know how that feels. Ben said, I bet you do. Jake is waiting in the conference room.

I said good lets go T'lana needs to sleep. Yanas helped Kira all she could and it took allot of T'lana to do it. We walked down the hall to the elevator. Once inside, I ask how many? Ben said, you don't want to know. Not right now. The death toll is still rising. I grabbed the wall. I need a drink. Ben said, Yea, me too. We walk down the corridor to the conference room. T'lin was the first to see me. See ran up and hugged me hard. Jake walked up and said man you look like shit. I chuckled, yea, I love you two and hugged him hard. Sitting down at the table T'lin brought us a tray of blue liquid. Romulin Ale She asked you want some? I said oh hell yes.

I see you broke my ship...again.. Jake said Hey! I got six of them bastards. How bad is Trank? Jake took another drink. It got his leg and arm. The staff here went to work on him right when we got here. It was weird. We just got the alert from the Admiral here I just raised the shields and then the whole quadrant just filed with Jem hadar warships. Bajor fought them off and took only minor damage. DS9 has a few extra holes in it. Ben said, but you saved us. Taking on all those ships like a crazy man. Looking back at me he said no offense. I laughed and took another drink. I said, give me a jug of this stuff and I can get real crazy.

The door opened and T'lana walked in. Smiling as best she could she walked over and climbed in my lap and just held me tight. T'lin climbed up in Jakes lap. After a long moment of silence. I said Admiral, my people have never seen war like you and I and Ezri here. They are going to be shell-shocked and frightened for a long time. Are you sure we aren't looking at another war?

T'lana was still wearing the clothes I had on from the attack/All torn and dried blood. She asked, Is there some where I could get a shower and change of clothes please? I said Honey best you go home and do that. Besides the children need you. Looking down at myself. I could use one too. T'lana took a sip of my drink. Gagging, What the hell is this battery acid? Gagging, I will return need to get cleaned up and check on our children. Laughing, I kiss you passionately. I love you. She climbed out of my lap and hit her auto transport and beamed directly to the house. Come home soon baby we have a house full of hurt and sick people. Our children need us too.

I will baby. Be there real soon I have to visit the people then I will be home. Ward by ward deck by deck visiting hugging, praying and crying with my people. I found Kira awake and sitting up. My heart leaped and I ran to her side and hugged her. It's so good seeing you better. She looked down at my burnt hands and said I hear I have you to thank for that. I couldn't talk I just held her and stared into her eyes. We just cried shaking with the love we share. Kira said I hear I'm homeless. I said never. It took a while but we found Odo. He is hurt bad but the founder leader is with him and she will do all she can to save him. Bajor wants you back there to recuperate. Kira said oh hell no. Trill is my home.

I put my hand on my heart Chimed in to our mind link. I said here too. Kira blushed, Ouch! My legs are burning. The doctor gave her a shot and said that will help with the pain. But burning is a good sign. In a few days we will have you out of that bed and into therapy. Kira smiled and said Yay! The door opened and the founder leader came in. I said hello again. She looked at me cautiously and said Robert? I said in the solid flesh. The founder hugged me. I understand your ocean carries the cure for my people. And what are all these spots? Oh I had them all the time they just never showed till I started my physical relationship with my wife, T'lana.

Hello and welcome to Trill, sorry we have to meet like this but we have no choice. I am T'lana Dax Connor, Jar'an's wife.

Odo brought us the last clue. He had it still on him and burned my hand. I knew that somehow you and your people came in contact with the Tralax. Their blood is toxic. I knew because I was burned badly when I killed one of those murdering bastards.

Then poor Kira here got allot more contaminated by the illness because she is Odos wife. We used the cure and she had no trace of the illness after about what four hours. The leader sat down on Kira's bed. So you are the solid that captured his heart. Odo tried to hide it but when we join in the great link. Well everything gets shared. Kira blushed and said everything? The founder smiled and said don't worry, I girl never kisses and tells. She looked up and smiled at me. Then she said to her guide, take me to Odo please.

She took her finger and rubbed it across my chest as she left saying, it's good to see you again. T'lana looked at Kira and then the both of them looked back at me and said EEWWWW.. You didn't. I lit up like a Christmas tree and turned about six different shades of red. It's a long story and I really need a bath. I had just saved her son's life. She was grateful and it was years ago. Long before I knew either of you. Both of them were laughing, omg Jar'an how could you.

Kira is laughing so hard she needed another shot. I covered my face with my hands as they laughed. Then I said well how about you Kira? Having sex with a founder can be quiet different can't it. Well what we shared was different too. And not one I want to visit again. T'lana gives her self-a shot for her hormone levels to return to normal. Still laughing her butt off. Baby, I love you so much. Kira just had to ask, Jar'an when you picked up Odo and brought him back to me you didn't have to... I interrupted her saying Oh Hell No! Turning to T'Lana Jar'an said, I thought you didn't need that anymore.

I am way off because of mom using me to save Kira and healing our brothers. I said I would be back tomorrow.

Come on T'lana, lets visit the last two decks of people and go home. I need a bath. T'lana nugged me with her hip saying I bet you do. Kira snickered saying Bye.. We huged Kira and we leave and visit the people in sickbay. links to you if we wasn't so tired we would be playing. Our visits completed we said our good byes to Jake and Admiral Cartright. He said get some rest.

I will bring you the final figures tomorrow and discuss with you what you want to do next. I said thank you Ben. Oh I asked Kira about returning to Bajor she said hell no. Trill was her home. Ben said, I am just going to see her I will talk to her about it. Come on baby and lets go home our family needs us. T'lana hit her auto transport and took her husband home. I hugged each and every servant and family member. I stood out on the top step of my patio and said people, Our day of hell is not over yet. Houses can be rebuilt, Personal items can be replaced but love lost is a wound only the gods can cure. Today we came far too close. Tomorrow we rebuild and grieve.

Tonight we get what rest we can. Know that I love you all. We all broke up Polly was in bed in the guest room. Jar'don was with his new wife and child. Security took Norvo and Jan'el and their families back home. Finally, it wasn't about being a leader it was about being a husband and father. Family is everything. I couldn't wash myself because my hands were burned and wrapped up in gauze. My loving wife patiently undressed me and washed all the dried blood and dirt off my body. She was so gentle and loving. After, I was cleaned she helped me dry off and get dressed in some pants and a pull over shirt. I went with her into the nursery and was tackled by a pack of marauding children.

It was late when Jules beamed in he looked way past dog-tired. Saying nothing he just waved and went into the guestroom. I heard the shower going. It ran for a long time, so I chimed into Jules link. You ok Jules? He said yes. In the shower and I seemed to have fallen asleep, sorry about that. I said it's ok my brother after today we all have walked through hell and are dog tired.

Honey leave the man alone, he needs the long hot sleepy shower just like we do. Now come into the bathroom our shower is running. I had to admit even after being washed up when we got back I still felt dirty so after the children fell asleep I walked back into our bedroom and into our shower and closed the door. Freshly showered and dried I came to bed and slipped in snuggling up to my lovely wife. I tucked her in and wrapped my arms around her warm beautiful body. My mind was a whirl of images of the day. I linked inside to Ezri. You ok honey. Ezri was sitting on the beach blanket staring out at the ocean.

I sat down beside her and held her as she cried and grieved for her people. She told me. Today I have seen just how much you love me, and my people. I love you too. I never thought I'd see the wounds of war scarring my home world. I swear to you I will find the bastards that did this and they never will get the chance to do this again. You go to sleep now, I must go back and tend to T'lana. I kissed Ezri passionately. I do love you. She glowed with our shared love and laid down and said good night. Then I was back in my body filling my nose with the sweet smell of her hair. It took some time but finally I went to sleep**.**


End file.
